What Have We Learned, Dudes?

[GLaDOS]

I've learned that a better name for this monster would have been ANYTHING but "Cloverfield". I mean hell why not Tinkles or Bubbly-Wubbly?

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

I learned that if bombs are completely ineffective against something, use a bigger version of the weapon that has proven to be completely ineffective. You may not kill the monster, but there will be no witnesses to your failure.

[Courtney]

I learned that if your friends pull you off of a pole that has impaled you through the chest, you'll be totally fine and ready to run at full speed in a matter of seconds.

[RobtheBarbarian]

I learned that worthless, pampered yuppie spawn will thoughtlessly perform rediculous action movie stunts that would have Bruce Willis shaking his head and thinking of a better idea.

And I learned that checking on your fucking ex-girlfriend is worth the lives of three people.

And I learned that women will call their exes when they're in trouble and not, say, 911. Said woman will have no moral problem with the idea of having someone she ostensibly cares for run through bullets, missiles, falling concrete and showers of broken glass to save her.

[GLaDOS]

i learned that you should keep pointing your camera at a vicious hellbeast that is about to chomp you down. Oh, and apparently the little critters have a metabolism that gives Alien a run for its money. This of course means that the laws of thermodynamics are a load of shit.

[Tony Farms AKA Puma Man]

I learned that the horrible monster, after somehow sneaking up on you, will take a special interest in you (despite the fact you're the size of an ant to him) as long as you have a camera for him to mug in front of.


HOW ARE YA

[Lemming Howard]

The New York power grid is a lot more robust than it used to be.

[Fortis]

I learned that even though guys at my school after giving blood would run so that they could pass out and get out of class, won't happen to the girl who had a piece of dirty rebar that impaled her causing her to lose more blood than you give with the average blood donation. And also doesn't cause her to go into shock from the pain of being impaled.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

That's the power of love

[Courtney]

That's the power of love

Wrong movie, dudebrah.   

[nummy muffin]

When monsters attack, most people forget how to drive, or maybe just where they parked their car.

[RVR II]

So.. Like.. DUDE!

Is This Crap Like.. TOTALLY Believable er WHAT?!

[Fortis]

I've learned that I'm never living in New York, because if there were to be a monster attack in a place without such tall buildings. People wouldn't "accidentally" run towards the monster. We would always know where it is, and there would be no monster sneaking up on you.

So sorry New York, i've learned that your city is claustrophobic, and that it is better to live in Las Vegas...nobody lives in the strip so its okay. No tall buildings blocking your view.

[GLaDOS]

I learned that monsters named Cloverfield give spawn to cute and adorable little boogies who when are fully developed whiz around so fast their genitals act like helicopter blades and propel them high into the air where they meet with Willy Wonka in order to fulfill their psychotic dreams!

[RoninFox]

I learned that its really really easy to clean blood off a camera lens.  All you have to do is wipe the lens twice with a filthy t-shirt.  Remember to do it twice though, the first rub'll only smear the blood but the second one works like a gallon of Easy-Off-Bam.  You're good as new and ready to film, dudebroman!