Favorite Jokes & Riddles (your own if possible)

[Kete]

Fine!  You'll never know!!!!!

[Tripe]

Was this joke written by Sorkin? It's a bit Sports Night, you know?

Do another one.

[Pak-Man]

Orange you glad he didn't say banana?

[LucasM]

A riddle I came up with tonight:


Q:  What did one agitated tectonic plate say to it's friend and neighbor?

A:  "Let's get ready to RUMBLLLLLLLLLE!"

[Sideswipe]

I am quaking with laughter.

[Miku Fan]

  LucasM!!!  That does it, 2 can play this plate game! (Get it? Cuz it takes 2 plates to cause an earthquake  )

Q: What's a tectonic plate's favorite breakfast food?

A: Quaker Oats.

Q: Favorite desert?

A: Milk Shakes.

Q: Most feared reptile?

A: rattlers

Q: Favorite Saint?

A: San Andreas

Q: Favorite Johnny Cash song?

A: Ring of Fire

Q: What does a tectonic plate say, when it chops down a tree?

A: Temblor!!!

Q: What did the neurotic say to the tectonic plate?

A: It's your fault.

Q: What did the dermatologist say to the tectonic plate?

A: You've got Richter scales.

Q: A tectonic plate has a girlfriend.  What's her name?

A: Sue Nami

[Sideswipe]

I have been left dumber after raeding that post.

[LucasM]

LucasM!!!  That does it, 2 can play this plate game! (Get it? Cuz it takes 2 plates to cause an earthquake  )

Q: What's a tectonic plate's favorite breakfast food?

A: Quaker Oats.

Q: Favorite desert?

A: Milk Shakes.

Q: Most feared reptile?

A: rattlers

Q: Favorite Saint?

A: San Andreas

Q: Favorite Johnny Cash song?

A: Ring of Fire

Q: What does a tectonic plate say, when it chops down a tree?

A: Temblor!!!

Q: What did the neurotic say to the tectonic plate?

A: It's your fault.

Q: What did the dermatologist say to the tectonic plate?

A: You've got Richter scales.

Q: A tectonic plate has a girlfriend.  What's her name?

A: Sue Nami

I must say, I cracked a smile with each of those, and there was a distinct tectonic shift in my mood reading them. 

Thanks.  Were those yours?  If so, consider this a presentation of an award to display on your mantle.

[Miku Fan]

I look forward to displaying my award!

[Johnny Unusual]

I can tell you a Chinese joke.  It's not very funny, but in the name of cultural interest...

Q: How can you tell which squid tentacles are the hands?

A: Fart and see which ones it uses to cover it's nose.

[LucasM]

Here's one that's been percolating in the back of my head for a while.  Today I finally made it work (I think):


Mutual of Omaha's Wild Killer, Perkins, and notorious Godfather, Brando were finally caught together during a recent police raid.  Once in jail, the warden bragged to whoever would listen about the 'Big Fish' he'd landed.

The warden could not help thinking about them in their cells, wearing their vertically-lined outfits.  He became convinced that he had to have them mounted and hung on his wall, like his fishing buddies did for their big catches. For, after all, none of his buddies had ever simultaneously landed two such huge...

                                Striped Marlons.

[LucasM]

What do the nautical cereal mascot and a guy receiving a knee to the groin have in common?

They both end up with crunch berries.

[TheRealUncleDes]

Why don't Scooby Doo villains like Colombian orphanages?

Medellin kids

[LucasM]

I came up with this one last night.

Q: What did the Cajun sausage maker-turned-space scientist yell to the collected crowd, immediately after proving his fatty sausages could get off the ground under their own steam?

A: "And'ouille have liftoff!"

[TheRealUncleDes]

No-one likes C3PO. Did you ever hear anyone call him "C3"?