WORST Theater Experience EVER

[J-Proof]

I just saw "The Messengers" with my boy Matt yesterday, and I have to say that the theater experience was possibly the worst I've ever had.

It isn't the theater's fault that I am venting to you guys - no no - It's the flippin' teenagers sprawled throughout the audience that made me want to punch a baby. We ALL spent the same amount of money for those tickets..... actually, let me take that back. Those young sknots probably used their student IDs to get in for cheaper, which means me and Matt spent MORE than them and they STILL felt the necessity to ruin the show by yelling "Marco-Polo" throughout the flick, and talking back and forth about how effin' RETARDED they were being.

An old lady next to me was mumbling cuss words under her breath while I damn near ripped the backing off my seat in frustration....

Let me just tell you, you ignorant high-school turds*.... It's no flippin' WONDER that while the rest of the Western world looks at the US as a bunch of vain, obese idiots lying around getting sick off lard, that many others would call us infidels. Please just RESPECT OTHERS. It's a simple rule that could almost be considered universal..... RESPECT. Amen.

*In saying "ignorant high-school turds" I am targeting only the wasteful jelly-sacks that were in theater 16 of Edwards Escondido during that showing....

[MrTorso]

YOU DAMN KIDS!!! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!


But seriously.... I know exactly how you feel. I won't go to any PG or PG-13 movie at night on the weekends at all. I can't stand the teens. The best times I find to go to the movies are Monday mornings. Usually no one is there or I go at the last showing on Monday nights after the movie has been out for several weeks.

[SaucyRossy]

During the premiere of Spider-Man 2 some high school kids starting doing stuff like that....well what they didn't know is that I am such a freak for Spidey that I was prepared to throw down with these kids. I walk up behind them and whisper "If you don't sit down, shut up, and watch the movie I will hurt you so bad your own mother won't even recognize you."

It worked.

[MrCinatit]

I've been to a few.
While watching Star Trek: The Voyage Home, my mom would not shut up. Stupid questions, left and right ("Is that supposed to be the sun?"). Then, a chunk of ceiling literally fell on the people in front of - not a large one, mind you, but large enough to cause the folks in front of us to gasp (My mom's comment - "Oh, they must have spilt their drinks!").
The topper...the next day, I am in art class. My friend is talking about this horrible movie experience he had, where the lady would not shut up and kept asking stupid questions...
I think you get the picture. Last time I went to the flicks with family.

For some reason, Fortress looked like a good movie choice. The two other people in the theater should have been my first hint that it was a bad movie. The fact that they got the reels confused should have been the second. The fact that one of those reels was from an entirely different movie should have been the third.
Oh, and Fortress sucks.

We had no sound for my viewing of the first 45 minutes of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Seriously, I had no idea that was supposed to be Gollum in the first part.

Yes, all of this occurred in the same theater in Piqua, Ohio.

[puuuma]

I've been to a couple doozies, but the worst had to be about 20 years ago in the Bay Area. I don't remember the flick, but the lights had just gone down. All of a sudden the entire theater smelled like Chinese Food. Mind you, I love Chinese Food, but not in the damn theater. I look over my shoulder & a family had walked in with 6 cartons of Chinese Food. They brought plastic forks & were chowing down for at least an hour. My Dad said we should just mind our business & enjoy the movie. Damn I tried my hardest, but all I could hear is people slurping & chewing.

[gbeenie]

I've been to a couple doozies, but the worst had to be about 20 years ago in the Bay Area. I don't remember the flick, but the lights had just gone down. All of a sudden the entire theater smelled like Chinese Food. Mind you, I love Chinese Food, but not in the damn theater. I look over my shoulder & a family had walked in with 6 cartons of Chinese Food. They brought plastic forks & were chowing down for at least an hour. My Dad said we should just mind our business & enjoy the movie. Damn I tried my hardest, but all I could hear is people slurping & chewing.

That's funny; I've ALWAYS wanted to sneak Chinese food into a movie. 

Maybe I'll make sure it's a loud action movie so as not to disturb others.

[Bob]

Sorry to hear about your experience.   I think that is why more folks wait for the DVDs to come out and watch the flick at home.   

We usually smuggle in beer when my friends and I go to the show.   You know when you hear a *cough* that is us timing it with the beer opening.   Once one of my friends knocked over a full can and you could hear roll down the cement, under the seats for quite awhile.   It was very embarassing.   Thank goodness for theater style seating where that is no longer an issue!

[mrbasehart]

There was a great story that happened at our cinema a few days back.  50 children came in a coach to watch Flushed Away and about halfway through the movie, the 7 adults that were in there were demanding their money back and complaining about the kiddy riots taking place in the screen.  It turns out that the 7 adults were actually the guardians of the 50 kids who came in.   

[kodiakthejuggler]

Speaking of worst experiences, I have a similar one that involves a graduation ceremony:

http://www.rifftrax.com/smf/index.php?topic=1935.0

[Tyrant]

   Our LOTRs Return of the King experience wasn't great. A bunch of teens and one or two tweens were in in the seats in front of us, and some family with a 5 and 6 year old (who the heck brings young kids to LOTRs movies???!!!) behind us. Throughout the movie, the kids behind us were kicking our seats and overall complaining/talking over the movie, while the teens/tweens in front were making fun of the movie and laughing at inappropriate parts (they were really cracking up at the 30 minute-long ending).

   I was with Pak and his brother at the time, and if they hadn't been there (I live in morbid fear of getting them beat up, for some reason), I would have leaned over to the teens and told them in a low voice,"If you don't shut up, I am going to KILL you. It will be quick, neat, and no one is going to see who did it because it's very dark in here." To the parents behind us, I was pretty much going to say the same thing about their kids.

[MrCinatit]

When I went to see Schindler's List with a friend of mine, the fabulous fanny back was in the height of its 10 seconds of glory.
Brad, being the ultra cool guy he was, had one. Just as the movie began, he unzipped it - rather loudly.
I said "Brad, it's not THAT kind of movie!" - much louder than I anticipated. The entire theater erupted in laughter.
Brad still has not forgiven me for that moment.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

i had a pretty obnoxious one recently.  It was christmas eve night.  I couldnt be at home with my family, i was in texas waiting to come to the desert.  One other friend of mine (a guy) didnt have anything better to do and i didnt want to stay at home in my lonely apartment.  So we went to the movies.  We saw Happy feet.  I think it was the only thing between the two of us that we hadnt seen at that point (we go to a lot of movies).  So when we got in there wasnt a whole lot of people there thankfully. However there was this one moron with two chicks sitting in the row we usually we sit in.  We moved into about where we usually sit.  He leaned over and said it was rather gay of us to come to a movie together.  He advised us to get chicks as cover next time.  He thought this was pretty intelligent and was laughing at his own jokes.  I asked him who the fuck are you? But he was chuckling to himself so hard he didnt even hear me.  I wanted to tear his skull off.  Here i am on my favorite holiday MILES AND MILES from home, my grandfather had passed away only 2 weeks prior and i was getting hassled about being GAY?  If my friend hadnt been there to calm me down i would probably had spent the night in jail for beating him up.  It was a weird thing too, i am not gay but the friend who i was with was.  It was one of the few times he was acting more normal than i was. 

[kodiakthejuggler]

When I went to see Schindler's List with a friend of mine, the fabulous fanny back was in the height of its 10 seconds of glory.
Brad, being the ultra cool guy he was, had one. Just as the movie began, he unzipped it - rather loudly.
I said "Brad, it's not THAT kind of movie!" - much louder than I anticipated. The entire theater erupted in laughter.
Brad still has not forgiven me for that moment.

PRICELESS!!!   

[Blueguy]

Over the years, twice the movie failed to finish so I had to come back later to watch it.  Pirates of the Caribbean, on a super hot summer day.  Something on the projector broke and for quite a while they thought they'd get it fixed, then they said they can't.  As everyone was piling out, they said they got it fixed and would resume in 5 minutes.  We did get a free pass for the troubles.

Then last year, I finally got around to seeing V for Vendetta when it suddenly stopped and everything was dead.  After sitting for a while, it turns out that the power in the whole mall went out.  Many of sat for a while waiting, but after about a half hour they said the power company doesn't know what the problem is and didn't know when the power would be back.  I had to go back the next week to catch the movie.

Last one, another one from last year, but I don't remember the movie.  The theater was pretty full, but I've never seen it this bad.  I usually sit near the back, and in the back row a group of black people were being loud and obnoxious before the movie.  They were even talking crap to other customers, like, "Ohh!  You don't WANT to sit next to this black boy."  I was hoping they'd quiet down once the movie started, so I sat it out.  They were behind me and off to the left.  Then the movie started and some people off to my right started talking in Spanish.  Not as loud as the others, but it was still annoying.  The credits didn't even finish before some kid starts wailing and the mother tried to quiet him down for like 2 minutes before they finally left.  Seriously, why bring a baby to a movie?  The talking never stopped and I maybe made it 15 minutes in before I had enough and walked out.  I spoke with an employee to see if they'd do anything and I went to the next showing that started in like 20 minutes.  This showing thankfully had far less people in it.

Overall, I have pretty good luck when it comes to enjoying a movie in peace.  I don't know if it's my location or the times I chose to see a movie, but whatever it is, I don't have a whole lot to complain about. 

[Grillslinger]

I used to be ambarassed to approach theater managers about stuff like that. I didn't want to be that guy. Ever since I started working at a middle school however...my patience for teens being disruptive was wittled down to nothing. I don't put up with it. If I shush them and they continue, I get them thrown out. I didn't pay good money to listen to a bunch of punk who can't shut up during a movie.

BTW, when The Exorcist was re-releasd I went to a midnight showing.

Someone brought an infant, who screamed through the whole movie. Did the parents care? Or step outside? Nah.

Too bad this was before had the nerve to say anything about it.