Movies you walked out of the theaters/turned off the player on

[gbeenie]

Transformers...this is a movie I had to watch two times, once for the beginning and the second time for the ending because I was so pissed off at it. I'm still pissed off and I loudly voiced my anger in a Wal-Mart when I saw the DVD.

I wondered what those people I studiously avoid when shopping at Wal-Mart do when they're not shouting at racks of DVDs. Now I know.

[Cosmic Muse]

Yeah, I just watched it.  My hearing has yet to return, and I'm still having seizures from the action scenes.....but I'm sure that was Michael Bay's only point in making this movie.  It was like Armageddon with transformers.

I'm still trying to figure what the hell was going on in those action scenes, like who was who and who was getting beaten by whom. I mean all I saw was blurry CGI and human characters screaming at the top of their lungs. And can anyone tell me how Spike defeated Megatron with the Allspark, Cube, whatever the hell it is? I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. I have to say the Junkion scene in the animated movie (Sorry to anyone who loves Junkions but it's not my favorite scene in the movie. It was time that could have been devoted to showing us how the Autobots seized control of Cybertron from the Decepticons. And just what happened to Shockwave too?) made more sense than this entire live action movie. I suppose if you've been drinking some hard liquor this movie might be easier to watch, but sober and you're lost in a sea of confusion.

I wondered what those people I studiously avoid when shopping at Wal-Mart do when they're not shouting at racks of DVDs. Now I know.

Oh, I wasn't yelling at the DVD rack at my local Wal-Mart. I was walking out of the electronics department with my nephew telling him I'd rather watch 3 hours of Hannah Montana than that movie again. I told him we'll watch the animated movie and see real Transformers in action.

[Pak-Man]

Junkions + Weird Al = The greatest scene in movie history. :^)

[RoninFox]

Yeah, I just watched it.  My hearing has yet to return, and I'm still having seizures from the action scenes.....but I'm sure that was Michael Bay's only point in making this movie.  It was like Armageddon with transformers.

I'm still trying to figure what the hell was going on in those action scenes, like who was who and who was getting beaten by whom. I mean all I saw was blurry CGI and human characters screaming at the top of their lungs. And can anyone tell me how Spike defeated Megatron with the Allspark, Cube, whatever the hell it is? I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. I have to say the Junkion scene in the animated movie (Sorry to anyone who loves Junkions but it's not my favorite scene in the movie. It was time that could have been devoted to showing us how the Autobots seized control of Cybertron from the Decepticons. And just what happened to Shockwave too?) made more sense than this entire live action movie. I suppose if you've been drinking some hard liquor this movie might be easier to watch, but sober and you're lost in a sea of confusion.

Stopping Megatron was the one part of the action I seemed to understand, that the power of the Allspark was so powerful it would overload a transformer if pushed into their chest, where their own "personal spark" resided.  As for the rest of the action, I agree it followed the recent unfortunate trend of the past several years of bad camera work that obscures the action rather than highlighting it, as if the craziness of the camera moves will draw you into the intensity of the fight instead of just confuse you and wonder why you were just shown a robot's ass or whatever it was.  That was one of my main complaints about Batman Begins too, just back the damn camera away and let me see the fight.  You don't have to go all Matrix on us, the best fight scenes I've ever seen on film were shot from a distance back for most or all of it.

[Chaos]

Stopping Megatron was the one part of the action I seemed to understand, that the power of the Allspark was so powerful it would overload a transformer if pushed into their chest, where their own "personal spark" resided. 

This sounds very silly indeed.

So would the equivalent for humans be to attack someone with a giant heart?

To be fair, if you were to shove a buffalo heart through a man's chest cavity into the place where his own heart resides, it probably WOULD kill him.

[Tripe]

It's like magic staffs isn't it?: I mean in theory they're imbued with mystic power but failing that they are a stout stick about four feet long that you can whack things with.

[RoninFox]

Stopping Megatron was the one part of the action I seemed to understand, that the power of the Allspark was so powerful it would overload a transformer if pushed into their chest, where their own "personal spark" resided. 

This sounds very silly indeed.

So would the equivalent for humans be to attack someone with a giant heart?

Well I never claimed it made perfect sense, I just meant the movie explained it to the point I knew what they were going for. 

[Tyrant]

  I always kind of likened it to stuffing a jet engine into a scooter. Too much power all at once.

[Raven]

  I always kind of likened it to stuffing a jet engine into a scooter. Too much power all at once.

This sounds to me like a seen from a new Jackass movie. 

I didn't like Transformers nearly as much as I could have.  I did pick up the DVD and it was a little easier to see what was going on when I watched it on a tv (as opposed to in a theater.)    Michael Bay is an idiot and watching the HBO first look of Transformers made me hate him even more.  He spent a ton of money and time mounting a camera to a go-kart to try to get the action seens MORE blurry.  What a hack. 

[Phantom of Krankor]

Brothers Grimm. I didn't really turn it off, it just took me three days to watch it. Ugh, what a bad movie. Bad SFX, over the top acting, gross unfunny humor and the allusions to the Grimms books were so randomly thrown in it was laughable. Ugh, bad bad movie.

The Thin Red line took me about 3 days to watch also. Incredibly long, INSANELY boring, and feels like it was made by a hippie.

[Shinigami]

That was one of my main complaints about Batman Begins too, just back the damn camera away and let me see the fight.  You don't have to go all Matrix on us, the best fight scenes I've ever seen on film were shot from a distance back for most or all of it.

That's a rather ironic statement.  Have you actually seen the Matrix recently?  One of the biggest innovations that the Matrix brought to movies that DIDN'T catch on was quality fight scene cinematography.  Sadly, Hollywood took The Matrix success to mean people merely wanted loud, violent movies with slow-motion rather than polished, thought out movies.

The only movie I can remember walking out on was Good Will Hunting.  I hated Matt Damon's character and got tired of the movie's pathetic attempts at making me empathize with him.

[RoninFox]

That was one of my main complaints about Batman Begins too, just back the damn camera away and let me see the fight.  You don't have to go all Matrix on us, the best fight scenes I've ever seen on film were shot from a distance back for most or all of it.

That's a rather ironic statement.  Have you actually seen the Matrix recently?  One of the biggest innovations that the Matrix brought to movies that DIDN'T catch on was quality fight scene cinematography.  Sadly, Hollywood took The Matrix success to mean people merely wanted loud, violent movies with slow-motion rather than polished, thought out movies.

The only movie I can remember walking out on was Good Will Hunting.  I hated Matt Damon's character and got tired of the movie's pathetic attempts at making me empathize with him.

The element of the Matrix I was referring to was the then unusual camera moves that movies use now just for the sake of having weird camera moves.  It wasn't quite so offensive in the Matrix (especially the original) as it was a choice to make the action more unbelievable, unreal, virtual what have you while still giving it some weight, and they usually did keep the actual fight in view.  I suppose I should have made it a bit clearer what I was griping about.  I went to the Matrix because they "invented a new toy" or two that other movies have no idea how to play with properly.

[RobtheBarbarian]

Stopping Megatron was the one part of the action I seemed to understand, that the power of the Allspark was so powerful it would overload a transformer if pushed into their chest, where their own "personal spark" resided. 

This sounds very silly indeed.

So would the equivalent for humans be to attack someone with a giant heart?

Hmmm... no, it's probably more like plugging an American appliance into an outlet in Europe without a converter, i.e. more power would be flowing through the system than the system was designed to handle. It makes "movie sense" to me.

And for the record I know what Ronin's getting at and completely agree... I'm sick to death of watching fight scenes with the camera zoomed up someone's nose.

[Blueguy]

Free Zone. 
Movie starts with like 7 straight minutes of a close-up of showing Natalie Portman crying while looking out the window of a taxi.  Little did I know, it was forshadowing.  I made it an hour in and the movie was like 90 minutes.  I just couldn't go on.

[RobtheBarbarian]

Torque. My friends got high and decided to watch Torque, and since I abstained I didn't enjoy it quite as much... luckily fate intervened.