List of Crap #131 Worst Superhero Movies Ever

[stethacantus]

#35

Suprerman III ( 1983 )

19 points, 2 lists, #9 Stethacantus

Studio: Warner Bros.
Script: ( credited ) David Newman, Leslie Newman
Producer: Alexander Salkind, Ilya Salkind, Pierre Spengler
Director: Richard Lester
Cast: Christopher Reeve ( Superman/Clark Kent ),  Richard Pryor ( Gus Gorman ), Jackie Cooper ( Perry White ), Marce McClure ( Jimmy Olsen  ), Annette O'Toole ( Lana Lang ), Robert Vaughn ( Ross Webster ), Annie Ross ( Vera ), Pamela Stephenson ( Lorelei ), Margot Kidder ( Lois Lane )

TRAILER

The pre-credits cold opening segment is not Superman rescuing people, nor a villain hatching his evil plot, but Richard Pryor's character Gus Gorman at an unemployment office complaining to one of the employees.  When we finally do get to the credits, there is no Superman theme, but goofy music while the credits roll over a scene with Rube Goldberg style slapstick on a busy Metropolis intersection, where busty Pamela Stephenson walking down the street distracts enough men to cause mayhem.  Basically someone knocking something over which causes something else to knock over, which causes someone to trip over or drop something, etc. The credit scene ends with Clark Kent pushing a pie into someone's face, and we now know we are in for trouble. 

The credits done, the film goes back to Gus, who after answering an advertisement looking for computer programmers, discovers he is a computing genius, despite having never touched a computer before. It soon becomes obvious that the central character of this movie will be Gus Gorman, a role no doubt elevated once the Salkinds had signed Richard Pryor.  They may as well retitled this film The Adventures of Gus Gorman featuring Superman. The  central character certainly isn't Lois Lane, who is on screen just long enough to tell her co-workers that she is off to her vacation in Bermuda and leave. I wouldn't spend my first day of vacation going back to my office to tell everyone I  am on vacation, but I guess Lois just wanted to rub it in to her co-workers.  Once Lois has left, Clark convinces Perry to send him back to Smallville to cover his high school reunion. So basically The Daily Planet only has two reports who are going on vacation at the same time. I guess Perry was counting on nothing happening for an entire week, with exception to that high school reunion  in Smallville which would get front page coverage.  It also calls into question as to why Lois was written out of the rest of the film via her announcing she was leaving for vacation, when Clark would be leaving the Daily Planet for Smallville for a week.  Lois wasn't going to follow Clark to Smallville, so the plot could have been Clark going on vacation and Lois staying behind at the office. There is a lot of plot holes and dumb decisions in this film's script that could have easily been fixed, but instead the writers were more interested in making this a comedy. And failing miserably at it as the material ranges from weak to awful.

Gus figures out how to embezzle thousands of dollars from the company he works for and is immediately  caught by it's CEO, Ross Webster, who is basically a stand in for Lex Luthor.  Ross is impressed by Gus' hacking skills, and instead of calling the police, pressures Gus to do a lot of illegal hacking for the company.  An attempt to destroy the crops in South America by hacking into a weather satellite fails when Superman shows up in South America to fight the bad weather.  Realizing he needs Superman out of the way, Ross gets Gus to hack into another satellite studying the remains of the planet Krypton in order to figure out how to make artificial Kryptonite.  But instead of creating green Kryptonite which will weaken Superman, Guss ends up fabricating Red Kryptonite which turns Superman evil.

This Asshole Superman goes around vandalizing monuments, harassing people instead of saving them, and goes around getting laid. Meanwhile Gus is able to use his hacking skills to redirect all oil tankers to the middle of the Atlantic, causing an energy crisis.  Somehow Superman splits into two people, an evil Superman, and a good Clark Kent. Both do battle in a junkyard and Clark wins, causing evil Superman to vanish. Ross has moved his operations to the Grand Canyon where he has a well armed super computer capable of fighting Superman.  Regretting his participation in helping the film's villain, Gus disables the computer's Kryptonite ray, allowing Superman to defeat it, and round up the villains. 

While this may seem like a perfectly reasonable synopsis, it isn't.  There are way too many plot holes and lapses in logic.  Most of the film is dedicated to visual gags that do not work. And even Richard Pryor's potential is ruined with weak material.  There had been humor in the previous Superman films, but it was always kept to a minimum.  This film has long drawn out scenes devoted to visual comedy, rather than Superman acting like a superhero.


ORIGIN:
The first two Superman films were shot simultaneously in order to cut down on production costs. Mario Puzo was hired to write the script. But when Puzo was unavailable for the rewrite, Robert Benton and David Newman were hired to write the second draft. Benton needed to drop out so he could direct The Late Show, so Newman brought in his wife Leslie to help him rewrite the script. The Salkinds eventually settled on Richard Donner to direct, who had previously directed The Exorcist. Donner was appalled by the Newman's rewrite.  Not only did they scrap the entirety of Puzzo's first draft, but decided the movie should be campy comedy.  Donner ended up hiring Tom Mankiewicz to fix the rewrite and remove most of the comedy. Vowing not to use the Newmans again, Donner wrote the treatments for the next few Superman films which centered around such villains as Braniac and Mister Mxyzptlk, as well as introducing Supergirl. 

The Salkinds  were at constant odds with Donner over the budget and the schedule. He was asked to abandon filming scenes for the sequel and put all his efforts into completing the first film. Donner decided to scrap the original ending. Superman was to hurl the missile heading for New Jersey into space, where it detonates and releases General Zod and his companions from the Phantom Zone. Lois Lane not in California during the earthquake.   While Superman is busy rescuing everyone in danger, Zod reaches Earth and begins destroying cities. By the time Superman realizes this is happening, Zod has already destroyed Metropolis, and has killed Perry White, Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane. The movie was to end with a sobbing Superman cradling the body of Lois, while Zod hovers above him, demanding he bow down to him. The film was to end with the caption "To Be Continued In Superman II". It was in the sequel that Superman travels back in time to prevent the destruction of Metropolis or his friends from being killed. Donner decided that if the first film bombed, that despite the sequel being 70% completed, if the first film bombed then Warner Bros. would cut their losses and discontinue production on it. So why bother making a cliffhanger that concludes in a film that may never be completed? The rewritten ending had Lois dying in the earthquake, and Superman flying back in time just to save her.

After completing the first film, the Salkinds dismissed Donner and tasked Richard Lester to complete the sequel. Lester ended up directing the remaining 30% of Superman II in an unusual way. At the time he was suing the Salkinds for payments due to him for directing the Three Musketeers films. As an out of court settlement, Lester was to be brought on as an associate producer for the two Superman films, where his salary would be the money still owed to him. Realizing this would be the only way he would ever see payment for directing the Three Musketeers films, he agreed.  His job was to oversee Donner to make sure he completed shooting on schedule.  But the fine print stated that Lester must take over as director if at any time Donner was for whatever reason unable to. And Donner was unable to on account of being fired.  So basically, Lester directed the remainder of Superman II for free.

Which all set Superman III to be an inescapable disaster. Warner Bros. wanted Lester back as he was the credited director of the sequel.  They wanted the Newmans back as the writers, as they were the only ones who got screen credit for the previous films. And they wanted the original cast back.  So you had a disgruntled cast who didn't appreciate how Richard Donner had been treated and were reluctant to work for the Salkinds again, a disgruntled director who was tricked into working for free on the previous film, and a disgruntled husband and wife script writing team who had their work changed by another script writer, but were credited as the writers. Just about the only one obligated to return was Christopher Reeve who had a three picture deal. Gene Hackman was a no show, so Lex Luthor had to be retooled as a new character.  Margot Kidder would only agree to return for a shitload of money, and only one days worth of work. Just about the only cast member still willing to work for the Salkinds was Marce McClure as Jimmy Olsen. The Newmans would return, as long as no one f#$ked with their script. And Lester would return, for a lot of money up front, and final cut of the film.

So the Newmans wrote another campy comedy script. Lester, who directed mostly madcap comedies prior to Superman, had no problem with the script, and even suggested his own gags. And pretty much no one making the film gave a f$%k if it was any good. For everyone it was a matter of getting paid and nothing else.  So is it any wonder why Superman III turned out the way it did.


Reviews
"Putting its emphasis on broad comedy at the expense of ingenious plotting and technical wizardry, it has virtually none of the mythic or cosmic sensibility that marked its predecessors." ~ Variety

"Apparently, Richard Lester's intent was to turn Superman into a joke. A really bad joke." ~ TheMovieReport.com

"Reeve, the ongoing justification for the series, is no longer contractually obligated after this episode, and his liberation comes not an installment too soon." ~ Washington Post

"Superman III may be the saddest disappointment of the summer movie season." ~ Associated Press

[stethacantus]

#34

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows ( 2014 )

20 points, 1 list, TIEBREAKER 5.9 IMDb,  #6 stansimpson

Studio: Paramount Pictures
Script: Josh Applebaum, André Nemec
Producers: Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Galen Walker, Scott Mednick
Director: Dave Green
Cast: Pete Ploszek ( Leo ), Alan Ritchson ( Ralph ), Jeremy Howard ( Donnie ), Noel Fisher ( Mikey ), Megan Fox ( April O'Neil ), Tony Shalhoub ( Splinter ), Stephen Amell ( Casey Jones ), Will Arnett ( Vern Fenwick ), Brian Tee ( Shredder ), Tyler Perry ( Dr. Stockman ), Brittany Ishibashi ( Karai ), Gary Anthony Williams ( Bebop ), Sheamus ( Rocksteady ), Brad Garrett  ( Krang ), Laura Kinney ( Police Chief Rebecca Vincent )

TRAILER

Okay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans, what was wrong with this One? Michael Bay listened to your complaints, and gave you the TMNT you asked for. And listening to audience complaints is something Michael Bay rarely does.  The Turtles you hated from the first film because they looked like Shreck, redesigned. Casey Jones, in the movie. Rock Steady and Bebop, in their first TMNT movie. Dr Stockman, in the movie. Krang and his Technodrome, in the movie. This is the live action TMNT you have been begging Hollywood to make for years, for decades, and here it finally is. And you guys say it was one of the worst TMNT films ever made? Okay, so Megan Fox is still April O'Neil, and they definitely didn't need to bring Will Arnett back. But other than that, what was wrong with it? How did they get an adaption of an extended toy commercial wrong? You didn't want Michael Bay producing again? Who do you want him replaced with? Renny Harlin?  Brett Ratner? It is not as if the good filmmakers are lining up to do a movie about turtle ninjas. And even if a world class filmmaker did take charge, it would only be because they wanted to reinvent the Turtles. Let's not forget what happened when we let Ang Lee do a superhero film. If you are some who doesn't like Michael Bay's style of film making, or have seen so many CGI films that watching another is tiresome, then yea, I can see you not liking this film. But damn it, they turned a garbage truck into a turtle tank!


ORIGIN:
With the first Michael Bay TMNT earning just short of $500 million at the box office, Paramount immediately greenlit the sequel.  The only concern we're the millions of devoted TMNT fans who didn't like anything about the first film except for the elevator scene. So basically read all the online complaints and fix them. About the only thing that could not be fixed was Megan Fox and Will Arnett, who were contracted for three films. But it wasn't like Bay was going to fire Megan Fox from one of his franchises.....again. The turtles were redesigned to look more like their cartoon counterparts, and Bay even licensed characters from the animated cartoons who had not appeared in any TMNT films yet. Playmate Toys, who produced the first line of TMNT action figures and financed the original animated series, wanted more mutants. The artist of the comic book, Peter Laird, designed some new characters, out of which Playmate selected the mutant Rhinoceros and Warthog. Animated series writer David Wise  was instructed to include the new characters in the first season as members of the Foot Clan, and also came up with their names Rocksteady and Bebop, as well as their origin.  Both made their first appearance in the first episode of the series Turtle Tracks which aired in syndication starting December 14, 1987.  The second episode Enter the Shredder  airing December 15, 1987 introduced Krang and the Technodrome. The third episode A Thing About Rats, first airing December 16, 1987, introduced Dr. Stockman. Both Krang and Stockman were created by series writer David Wise.  The characters were later used in the comic book. Golden Harvest had wanted to have Bebop, Rocksteady and Stockman in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, but unable to obtain the rights. The characters already in the script, they were hastily renamed and altered. The Turtles, Splinter, Shredder and the Foot Clan debuted in the comic book in the first issue, May 1984. April O'Neil was introduced in the second issue. Casey Jones was introduced in the comic book a year later, in April 1985.


Reviews
"Despite the title, the wisecracking turtles named for Renaissance painters are never allowed to shine. It's a bummer, dude." ~ New York Post

"An improvement over the last Ninja Turtles, but only in the way that a mild cold is an improvement over the flu." ~ ScreenCrush

"Your 11-year-old is going to love this film. Then he'll grow up and wonder what he was thinking." ~ San Francisco Chronicle

"Forget cowabunga, this is cowadunga." ~ Time Out

[stethacantus]

#33

The Toxic Avenger Part II ( 1989 )

20 points, 1 list,  TIEBREAKER 5.0 IMDb, #6 Stethacantus

Studio: Troma/Lorimar
Script: Lloyd Kaufman, Gay Partington Terry
Producers: Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Director: Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Cast: Ron Fazio, John Altanura ( The Toxic Avenger ), Phoebe Legere ( Claire ), Rick Collins ( Apocalypse Inc. Chairman  ), Lisa Gaye ( Malfaire ), Rikiya Yasuoka ( Big Mac Bunko ), Mayako Katsuragi ( Masumi ), Fernando Antonio, Paul Borghese, Sylvester Covin, William Decker, Joe Fleishaker, Mark Fuciel, Marce Allen Ginsburg, Sal Lione, Doug McDonald, Benny Nieves, Kariim Ratcliff, Michael Jai White, Susan Whitty, Jeremiah Yates ( Apocalypse Inc. Executives  ), Jessica Dublin ( Mrs. Junko ), Jack Cooper ( Big Mac Junko )

TRAILER

Tromaville is now a happy place after their local superhero, The Toxic Avenger, has brutally murdered all the criminals. But with no criminals left to mutilate, The Toxic Avenger has become despondent.  His blind girlfriend Claire suggest that he join her at the school for the blind where she works. Meanwhile, a chemical company called Apocalypse Inc. has decided to take over Tromaville and use the town to dump their chemical.  But to do that, they will need to kill the Toxic Avenger first. So they bomb the blind school with him in it, but he and Claire survive.  So the chairman of Apocalypse moves on to plan B: To trick The Toxic Avenger into believing his long lost father is living in Japan. Abandoning Tromaville for his quest to find his father, The Toxic Avenger leaves the town vulnerable to Apocalypse Inc. who take it over with their army of thugs. Meanwhile, the wild goose chase to Japan the Toxic Avenger has been sent on results in a lot of mutilated Japanese thugs, but no father.  He returns home to discover the town overrun with criminals and kills most of them. But the chairman of Apocalypse Inc. has one last ploy. Hire a suicidal motorcyclist to drive into town with a bomb and blow it up.  But after a car chase, the Toxic Avenger eliminates the motorcyclist and saves the town once again.

I almost feel bad about having this on my worst list.  Because the Troma films were meant to be this bad, and marketed to an audience that loves this style of film. But to be honest, if you are not into schlock porn, then the Troma films are terrible.  At least some of them have their moments when they have over the top violence. But whenever the Troma formula is tampered with to make the films more mainstream, they become less tolerable. This film has way too much attempts at humor than a typical Troma movie, and not enough of the over the top violence.  And it feels like it was dragged out. In fact, for reasons to be explained in a moment, it was dragged out.  What was supposed to be paced for 45 minutes lasts an entire 100 minutes.   


ORIGIN:
Troma was founded in 1974 by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz as a studio that provided mostly cheap comedies for the drive-in and grindhouse circuit.  They soon began copying the formula established by Roger Corman of schlocky comedy and over the top violence in their films. While Kaufman competed with Corman as to which was the king of schlock, he did help make the occasional quality film, such as giving production assistance to My Dinner With Andre ( 1981 ). The studio began to hit a rough patch with the demise of the independent movie theaters drive-ins, but eventually found a new lease on life with the home video market.

In 1984 Lloyd read an article proclaiming the slasher movie genre has already peaked and was all but dead. Kaufman had wanted Troma to produce a splatter film for years, and even had an idea for a comedy about a murderer who stalks a health club, seeking vengeance against the instructors who disfigured him. Deciding it was now or never, he began production on The Toxic Avenger, adding the twist that the monster of the film ends up being considered a hero by the town as it turns out the people he murdered were violent criminals.  As it turned out, with exception to the Friday the 13th franchise, the slasher film genre had become unprofitable. So Toxic Avenger was retooled as a superhero movie. It found distribution on the midnight film market in 1984, and soon gained cult status.  But it's biggest success was in Japan where it was a hit. This got Lorimar interested in a sequel, provided they pander to the Japanese market by setting the film in Tokyo. During filming, Lloyd realized he had shot more than two hours of footage, just 40 minutes shy of enough footage for two films. New scenes were shot, including a new ending for the 90 minute mark where a biker tries to destroy the town. It also meant keeping a lot of footage that would have normally have been cut. Lorimar financed over $2 million for the budget, and the film only earned Around $700,000. Shortly after Lorimar cut all ties with Troma. Meanwhile, the second half of the footage, which had most of the plot intended for part II, was turned into The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie released later the same year.


Reviews
"A monstrously crude, blatantly tasteless film reminiscent of the now bygone drive-in movies. It's also sterling evidence of why they haven't been missed." ~ Chicago Tribune

[stethacantus]

#32

Agent Beetle ( 2012 )

21 points, 1 list, #5 Stethacantus

Studio: TomCat Productions
Script:   Brett Kelly, Trevor Payer, Carlos Perez
Producer: Anne-Marie Friggon
Director: Brett Kelly
Cast: Daniel Lavigne ( Dan Garret/Agent Beetle ), Emanuelle Carriere ( Julie Spencer ), Lilith ( Jennifer Vallance ), Duncan Milloy ( Roach ), Celine Filion ( Mantis ), Mike Kosowan ( Stinger ), Christine Emes (  Marylin/Widow )

TRAILER

A woman walks down a snowy alleyway, just barely aware some guy is following her. It doesn't take long to realize the creepy guy is a mugger, and the woman his intended victim. There is a cut away to our hero, putting his gear on, in extreme slow  motion. Back to the woman being pursued by the mugger. A minute goes by, and the mugger has yet to make his move. Then you begin to realize that this is the third time the woman has walked past that same door.  They are actually repeating the same footage over and over again.  Then for no reason, that footage is slowed down as well. Two minutes go by, and what should be a simple mugging has yet to commence.  They have walked down that same alleyway so many times you have it committed to memory.  About four long boring minutes go by before the mugger finally catches up to the woman. And only then does the film's hero show up to save her. And the long wait? Not worth it. You are almost asleep by the time the action finally begins. And when it does, it is so poorly choreographed that you may as well go back to sleep.

This is what a film by director Brett Kelly is like. Forget about how incompetent a director he is, the hack can't even write a script.  Every single film of his I have seen has less than 40 minutes of shot footage padded out to 80 or more minutes. He seems incapable of knowing how many pages a script should have for a film to be feature length, no matter how many times he f#$ks up a film.  Not only does he unnecessarily slow footage down, or repeat the same footage over and over again, but establishing shots drag on way too long. Do you like the moon? Then you are in luck. When transitioning from one scene to another, you get a 30 second shot of the moon for some unexplainable reason. He even sticks in footage that has nothing to do with the plot. One of the villains walks into a strip club to watch a bikini contest, which goes on for five minutes. It has nothing to do with the story, and appears to be footage edited into the movie. Aside from the padding, there is terrible acting, terrible dialogue, terrible costumes, terrible locations, and the audio is frequently unintelligible.

The bare thin plot: Ex cop Dan Garret is in prison for corruption, when offered by a woman named Lilith a chance to get out early if he hoes to her laboratory and takes an experimental drug. The organization testing the drug is called HIVE, and yes, they are bad guys. The drug gives Dan powers, turning him into "Agent Beetle". She also gives four other convicts various insect powers. Lilith wants them to be her army of supervillains.  But Dan doesn't want to be a villain, and leaves. Lilith sends her army of villains after Dan, and he takes them out one by one. Eventually Dan has a showdown with Lilith, and he ends up blowing up HIVE headquarters.  This plot could have made a decent action film, if only it had any good fight choreography or staged action scenes. Instead, this film is a torture to get through, and believe it or not, it isn't even the worst superhero film to come from TomCat Productions.  There are four others that are worse.


ORIGIN:
TomCat Productions was spawned around 2008. It's sole purpose was to distribute directly to DVD horror films and mockbusters. So basically, Asylum, but with shot on video micro budget movies. TomCat was responsible for releasing such garbage as Jurassic Shark ( 2012 ), Aliens vs Avitars (2011 ), Furious Road ( 2014 ) and Disaster Wars: Earthquake vs Tsunami ( 2013 ). Do not let those titles fool you. The producers who make films for TomCat do not have the budget to build sets, put monster makeup on actors, or create special effects of any kind. Any disasters, alien spacecraft or sharks in their films would be stock footage.  Most of the money they spend on the movie goes into designing the box art. And even there, the covers look cheap. In 2008 TomCat released their first superhero mockbuster, Metal Man. This was followed by The Black Knight Returns.

and it is here that TomCat ran into legal trouble.  Not from DC Comics or Warner Bros., but from Marvel Comics. It turned out Marvel already had a superhero called The Black Knight, and he wore an identical costume. Gunshy about ever accidentally using a copyrighted character again, TomCat stumbled upon an open secret.  A number of comic book publishers from the golden age had gone out of business when the superhero genre crashed, and their characters had since drifted into public domain.  So they came up with a new strategy.  From that point on use the public domain superheroes. 

The Blue Beetle had been popular enough superhero that he had his own radio show. Debuting in August of 1939 in issue #1 of Mystery Men Comics, he  became Fox Comics most successful superhero. His alter ego was officer Dan Garret, who uses a bullet proof costume along with the strength enhancement drug Vitamin 2X to fight crime. When the superhero genre crashed in the late 40s. Fox published their final Blue Beetle comic book in 1950, filing for bankruptcy soon after. They officially went out of business in the mid 50s. However, if TomCat had bothered to do their research, they would have discovered that Fox Comics sold their entire lineup of characters to Charlton Comics. Charlton made several unsuccessful attempts to revive Blue Beetle. When Charlton went into decline in the 1980s, they sold their characters to DC Comics. He was nearly killed off by Alan Moore for the book The Watchmen, but DC decided against allowing  Moore to kill off any of the Charlton characters they acquired, so Moore invented new characters just for that book. Instead, Blue Beetle became a minor member of the Justice League, briefly getting his own title in 2006.

While Blue Beetles original alter ego Dan Garret is public domain, as Charlton chose to kill off Dan and revive Blue Beetle with a different alter ego, never bothering to renew the copyright for Dan Garret, the concept, costume and hero name Blue Beetle is owned by DC Comics. TomCat was midway through making their Blue Beetle movie when DC lawyers contacted them, telling them to cease producing an unauthorized Blue Beetle film. TomCat hastily removed all audio references to the character in this film as Blue Beetle and had the character retitled Agent Beetle. Fortunately for them, their Blue Beetle costume was so crappy, it didn't look enough like Blue Beetle's costume that they could use it without violating DCs copyright.  This was supposed to be the first film in a Blue Beetle franchise. But getting into legal trouble over another superhero was the last straw. ( not to mention they decided to check to make sure none of the other golden age characters they were using in the film were not actually public domain, and found out that Marvel owned the copyright to the name Black Widow, forcing them to change the name of the Black Widow in their film to just Widow. ) So despite introducing the next villain at the end of the film, no franchise materialized.  And soon after TomCat stopped making superhero movies.

REVIEW
"Amateurish and boring, with the production values of a wet shoebox " ~ Letterboxd.com

[stethacantus]

#31

Fantastic Four ( 1994 )

22 points, 1 list, TIEBREAKER 3.9 IMDb,  #4 Pac-Man

Studio: New Horizon Pictures
Script: Craig J. Nevius, Kevin Rock
Producer: Steven Rabiner, Roger Corman
Director: Oley Sassone
Cast: Alex Hyde-White ( Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic ), Rebecca Staab ( Sue Storm/Invisible Girl ), Jay Underwood ( Johnny Storm/The Human Torch ), Michael Baily Smith ( Ben Grimm ), Carl Ciarfailio ( The Thing ), Joseph Culp ( Victor Von Doom/Dr. Doom ), Kat Green ( Alicia Masters ), Ian Trigger ( The Jewler )

TRAILER

Colossus, a comet like energy source, is making a close approach to earth. College students Victor Von Doom and Reed Richards have built an electronic thingy designed to drain  energy from Colossus as it passes Earth. But it overcharges and explodes, killing Victor. His body is brought to the morgue where the pathologist performing the autopsy thinks he can save him?  Ten years later Reed has built his own rocket ship which he wants to take to Colossus. His crew is Ben Grimm, his jock friend from college who is now a rocket pilot, and  Johnny and Sue Storm, who are  the now grown up  kids of the woman who ran the boarding hose Reed and Ben lodged at during college.  In order to prevent Colossus from blowing the rocket up, Reed must install a glob of diamonds which should absorb the cosmic rays. Latverian agents seek to sabotage the diamond glob. But before they can do it, a villain known as the Jewler, and not the Mole Man, sneaks into Reed's lab and switches the glob for a counterfeit diamond glob, making off with the real one. This thrills the Latverian agents, because the Jewler just did their work for them.  Meanwhile, Ben has bumped into a blind artist named Alicia Masters  destroying the statue she had working on for months. So naturally, both instantly fall in love with each other. Coincidentally, the Jewler has also spotted Alicia and as instantly fallen in love wit her. Reed and friends get into their rocket and head towards Colossus, but  since the diamond glob is a fake, their ship is bombarded with cosmic energy.

They survive a spectacular rocket ship crash, all happening off screen as this is a Corman film. But while the only thing left of the rocket is a few scraps of burning metal, everyone has survived the crash without a scratch. Johnny sneezes and fire shoots out of his nostril. Sue temporarily turns invisible, and Reed learns he can stretch his arm. And Be turns into a rock monster. The army shows up and takes them to a secret government facility where they are experimented on. Meanwhile, The Jewler decides to have his minions kidnap Alicia and bring her to his underground kingdom ( the sewer.) The mysterious dictator of Latveria orders his agents to retrieve the real diamond glob so he can use it on his latest weapon, But the Jewler refuses to sell it, as he is going to give it to Alicia, who he wants to make his queen. Johnny gets fed up being detained at a government facility and suggests they use their powers to escape. Reed agrees, and they make a break for it. On their way out, Reed sees a ray gun style weapon. Shortly later, they are surrounded by hooded gunmen, and the dictator, who turns out to be Dr. Doom, makes his first appearance. This whole time they have been at his castle  in Latveria where his scientists have been trying to discover how they got their powers. Boasting how it was he who sabotages their rocket so tat they would never find the secret of the energy Colossus is emitting, he then orders his men to kill them and walks out of the room. By the time he returns, Reed and the other prisoners have decimated his army and broken out of the castle. What follows is an exciting adventure where they have to flee from the heart of Latveria all the way back to the safety of the United States. But since this is a  Roger Corman film, instead we get a jump cut to them in the Baxter Building.  Reed figures out the cosmic rays gave each a power connected to their personalities. However, while Sue, Reed and Johnny can revert back to their normal selves, Ben is still stuck as The Thing. Realizing Reed has no cure, he storms off.

Out on the streets Ben is constantly frightening people. That is until some of the Jewler's people come up out of the sewer and decide that Ben is an outcast just like them. They then bring Ben to plot convenience theater, where he ends up in the same underground chamber with The Jewler, the tied up Alicia, and Dr. Doom who is attacking the underground kingdom to get the diamond glob. Realizing Ben is there, and he is trying to save Alicia, Doom takes her hostage. Shee tells Ben she loves him, which causes him to transform out of being The Thing and back into Ben Grimm. Which makes him venerable to bullets, so he runs away.  Once out on the street, Ben becomes angry and turns back into the Thing. He returns to the Baxter Building where Reed has figured out that Dr. Doom is his old friend Victor Von Doom, and Sue has made them all Fantastic Four costumes.  Dr. Doom contacts them and tells them his weapon has been completed using the diamond glob, and if they do not surrender themselves immediately, he will use it to destroy New York Cit. So they all jump int the Fantasticar, which they suddenly have with no explanation, and fly from the roof of the Baxter Building to Doom's castle in Latveria. There they all fall into a trap where Doom has them immobilized by energy, and plans to use the weapon to syphon off their abilities and give them to him. However, Reed's foot is not immobilized, so he is able to stretch it and knock out the device immobilizing them. As they fight Dooms army, he fires the weapon at New York. Johnny turns into the fill Human Torch for the first time,  or at least an animated version of the character, and races in front of the beam being shot at New York to block it. Reed chases Doom to the battlement of his castle, where he punches him over the side using his elastic arms. Reed then tries to save Doom, but for some reason only uses one of his arms, which allows Doom's gauntlet to come loose and Doom to fall to his apparent death. Ben rescues Alicia, who feels his face for the first time and somehow gets turned on. The movie ends with Reed and Sue getting married, and the infamous shot of Reed waving out of the limousine's sunroof to the crowd as they drive off. ( It has always been my opinion that Sue is also waving, but you can't see it because she is invisible. )


ORIGIN:
Back in 1954 Atlas Comics ( Formerly Timely Comics ) ceased publication of superhero comics with issue #78 of Captain America. After World War II, readers had lost interest in superhero comics. National Comics was the only publishers to continue printing superhero comic books, but out of the vast number of superheroes the company owned, only titles with Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman continued to be published. Atlas switched to romance comics, humor comics, war comics, western comics and science fiction, all mostly anthology stories. There was a brief revival of Sub-Mariner between 1954 and 1955 due to talks with a network of making a live action Sub-Mariner television series. But once the network passed on the series, the Sub-Mariner comics ceased publication. In 1956 National Comics ( Now officially rebranded DC Comics , but still requiring  the television series The Adventures of Superman to credit the character's copyright to National Comics Publications ) decide to revive their superheroes. In 1960 DC had all of their superheroes combing in a team called The Justice League of America. While sales of their superhero comics, especially the big three, had done moderately well, comics with the Justice League of America were extremely successful. Over at Marvel Comics ( formerly Atlas Comics ),  publisher Martin Goodman asked editor Stan Lee to create their own version of the Justice League. Lee realized they could not just put their old Golden Age superheroes into a team book, because unlike DC who had spent the past four years reintroducing their old superheroes in new books, and had never ceased publication of Superman, Batman or Wonder Woman, the old Timely superheroes had been gone for six years and were largely forgotten. For decades Lee had always wanted to do a superhero book without any of the tropes. For example, not giving the superhero a secret identity, because he felt that if he had super powers, he would want the entire world to know.  Instead of a superhero team with past heroes, Lee wanted a superhero team with brand new heroes. Only e wanted his team to be more realistic so that readers could identify with them. Goodman agreed, and the result was The Fantastic Four, who first appeared November 1961 in the first issue of their self named comic book.  The book was such a success that Goodman allowed Lee to create and publish other superhero comics.

Over the years various production companies optioned  Fantastic Four  for a live action movie, but were never able to get any studio to green light it. In 1983 German producer Bernd Eichinger met with Stan Lee at his home to discuss optioning Fantastic Four, but was told another producer held the option. Lee advised him to wait until 1997 when the option would expire, as he didn't see the producer getting a movie made before then. Options were basically money given to a comic book company for a right to use characters and the title for the next five years in a live action film. If a movie is made, then the rights extend for the duration of the franchise. If no movie is made, the rights revert back to Marvel.  Which is just what happened, allowing Eichinger to purchase the option in 1987 for his company Constantin Films. The option was for the Fantastic Four title, The Thing, Human Torch, Invisible Girl and Mr. Fantastic, along with their alter identities, Thing's girlfriend from the book Alicia Masters, and the villain  Dr. Doom. Eichinger would obtain the rights to any further Marvel characters should any sequels be made. Eichinger soon realized why the option had passed through so many past producers as he was unable to get the film made.  Warner Bros. seemed interested, but after a couple of years passed due to the enormous budget the visual effects would require. Columbia was next, but by 1991 had not greenlit the film and ultimately  decided making a superhero film at the time was not in their best interests. The option was due to run out within a year if Constantin did not produce a Fantastic Four film. While they were unable to find any studio interested in the property, a request to buy an extension of the property was turned down. Apparently one of the big studios, possibly one that had previously turned Eichinger down,  wanted to make a Fantastic Four movie, but on their own without Constantin Films attached. Unable to get an extension, Eichinger realized the only way to keep his rights to the characters was to find a cheap B movie company the make a cheap Fantastic Four film, therefore allowing the option to continue for another five years. Which is why Constantin brought the film to Roger Corman, giving him $1 million to make a Fantastic Four film within a year.

One thing which must be commended about this film. The people who made it wanted to be faithful to the source material. Thy went out to comic book shops and bought as many Silver Age back issues as they could get their hands on. And before Marvel began printing The Essentials or Omnibus reprints, the only way to get these back issues was to buy the actual back issues, which was very expensive even in the early 90s.  From researching these back issues, they realized the first villain the Fantastic Four faced off against in Fantastic Four #1 was Harvey Rupert Elder, known as Mole Man. His entire life, Harvey was ridiculed for his looks. Having had enough of this, he set off to find the legendary subterranean kingdom. Discovering Monster Island, he found a cave that lead underground. There he lost his eyesight, but eventually became the master of the creatures that lived down there, using them to seek vengeance against the surface world.  The original script for Fantastic Fourfeatured Mole Man. But reduced to just living in the sewers  as the leader of society's outcasts, which was the most a $1 million budget would allow. The character needed to be changed to an original character called  The Jewler when Constantine was unable to get Marvel to license any other of their characters, including any other Fantastic Four villain. They did have the rights to Doctor Doom, who made his first appearance in Fantastic Four #5. While Victor Von Doom had met Reed Richards in college, they were rivals rather than friends. Doom was injured in an experiment where he attempted to open an interdimensional doorway caused a lab explosion. He survived, but was disfigured, and was expelled from the college. He later traveled to Tibet where his armor and mask were made for him. Born to a refugee family from Latveria, Doom returned to his homeland, eventually overthrowing the  leader to become the country's new dictator. Further retellings of Doctor Doom's origin story retconned that Ben Grimm also knew Doom from college, and that Reed Richards had warned Doom that his calculations on his experiment were off, but Doom didn't believe him as Reed ad played pranks on him in the past. Doom believed that Reed had somehow sabotaged the experiment, and was to blame for his disfigured face and expulsion from college. While Corman's film altered Doom's origin, it is the closest any movie came to the comic book origin. The later films insisted on having Doom present in the same accident that gives the four their powers, which in turn both transformed his skin to armor, and gave him powers.

According to Marvel Comics, the plan all along was that Corman's Fantastic Four would never be released. It only existed so that Constantin could extend their option, allowing for a deal with 20t Century Fox to be made for a big budget Fantastic Four film.  Caught off guard were the cast and crew of the film, who were convinced it would get a theatrical release. Even Roger Corman himself seemed to think the film was going to be distributed. However, there is growing speculation that Constantin was going to release the film, at the least to recoup the million they spent on it, and to perhaps make a modest profit. And that Marvel had the film buried.  Previously the only theatrical film with a Marvel character was Howard the Duck which critics were calling one of the worst movies ever made. The Punisher and Captain America had both been shelved and ended up going strait to home video, supposedly for being so bad that their respective studios refused to distribute them.  Marvel did not need the embarrassment of yet another terrible superhero film. As soon as they realized Roger Corman would be making a Fantastic Four film, they began taking steps to make sure no one would ever see it. There is a lot to suggest that Constantine fully intended to release this version of The Fantastic Four.  Why was Corman permitted to release a trailer?  Why did they allow post production to continue if the film was not going to be released? Why didn't Marvel just extend the option another five years instead of having Constantin spend $1 million on a film, which Marvel ended up paying for?  It looked like the film would never be seen outside of the released trailer, with Avi Arad even saying Marvel had purchased every existing print of the film and ad them destroyed. But then, just as with  The Punisher and Captain America, bootleg copies of The Fantastic Four began showing up at comic book conventions.  Today it is available on YouTube. There is a lot of speculation as to the copy's origin. The director believes  that someone at the company that ran off two VHS prints while the film was still being promoted, had made copies for himself.  While the two VHS prints had long since been confiscated by Marvel and erased, someone with a copy of the VHS print realized how rare it was and began selling his own copies. Another speculation is that someone at New Horizons, perhaps Corman himself, kept a print of the film that Marvel didn't know about, of which a VHS copy was later made, perhaps to prove to the world that the film existed.

Reviews
"The Fantastic Four is a must see for any lover of bad movies. It's that awful."  ~ 7M Pictures

"It's crazy but this really is still the best Fantastic Four movie we've ever gotten." ~ Letterboxd

[stethacantus]

#30

Rise of the Black Bat ( 2012 )

22 points, 1 list, TIEBREAKER 1.3 IMDb,  #4 Stethacantus

Studio: TomCat
Script: Trevor Payer
Producer: Brett Kelly
Director: Scott Patrick  ( a.k.a  Brett Kelly
Cast: Jody Haucke ( Tony Quinn/The Black Bat ), Dixie Collins ( Carol Baldwin ), Richard Groen ( Silk Kirby ), Leo Frost ( Oliver Snate ), John E McLenachan ( Steve ), Dan Demabre ( Ken ), Celine Filion ( Roberta )

TRAILER

I wouldn't say this was Brett Kelly's worst Superhero film. But apparently he would. Instead of taking credit for this film, he credits the directing to the alias Scott Patrick.  IMDb rates it at his worst  ( 1.3 out of 10 ) but that may be due to his other films being more obscure. Personally, I think one of his other superhero films was worse than this. Actually, this movie showed Kelly skills improved a little bit. And by that I mean there is less padding then his past films. But never the less, still padded.  There is still about five minutes of what Kelly claims is animation at the end of the film, followed by really  slow credits that last longer than the MCU credits. And there is still scenes that have been slowed down, and unnecessary long shots of the moon. But he does fill the time with more action scenes.  Unfortunately, Kelly has the uncanny skill of making any action scene boring.  If I filmed two snails racing each other, the resulting footage would fill you with far more adrenaline than any shootout or car chase in a Brett Kelly film.

The movie begins with the Black Bat attacking a warehouse guarded by thugs. ( think of Batman without ears on his cowl, and carrying two guns, and that is the Black Bat. ) After a snooze inducing shootout, we hear a voice over where the Black Bat tells the audience he is about to explain why he is attacking the warehouse, and how he became the Black Bat. There is an extended opening credit sequence, after which the movie seems to have forgotten the Black Bat was about to tell his origin story, and instead jumps to a completely different night where the Black Bat is rescuing a woman from muggers. A scene that is missing audio, something you would think is impossible for movies shot on camcorders.  But eventually we do get to the origin story. Crime boss Oliver  Snate arranges for a hitman to toss acid in the face of District Attorney Tony Quinn, who is trying to put Snatr behind bars. Blinded by the acid, Quinn goes to Asia for some experimental surgery to restore his eyesight. The surgery turns out to be too good, and Quinn discovers he can see in the dark. Realizing he has this power, Quinn decides to use it to become a crime fighting vigilante called The Black Bat.

The Black Bat decides to go after the gangsters who blinded him. But first he needs to meet with an informant in a strip club. It is then that the film cuts to ten minutes of footage of a bikini contest. The same exact bikini contest shown in Agent Beetle! The information leads The Black Bat to Snate's warehouse, and we are back to the beginning of the movie. Remember how Quinn decided to become a masked vigilante because he acquired the ability to see in the dark? You would think he would take advantage of this power by, say, pulling the fuses out of the circuit breakers, or at the least turning off the light switch.  But no. FOR THE ENTIRE FILM, THE BLACK BAT FIGHTS HIS ENEMIES IN WELL LIT AREAS! The whole point of you becoming a superhero, you dumbass, was because you had these powers. And you don't even remember to use them? Something else the Black Bat seems to forget.  After defeating the gang, he announces to Snate that his warehouse is full of evidence that will put him away for the rest of his life. But then as Black Bat is leaving the warehouse, he tosses a stick of dynamite behind him, so that he can walk away from the CGI explosion in slow motion.  Nice going dumbass, you destroyed all the evidence. 

ORIGIN:
TomCat Productions, the Canadian direct to video distributor and alleged movie studio, attempted to take on mockbuster champs Asylum with their own direct to video mockbusters.  Only, without any budget, and no talent in front, behind or running the cameras. In 2008 they mockbusted a genre Asylum has thus far ignored.  The superhero film. They got away with the Iron Man knockoff Metal Man, and then chose to mockbust the Dark Knight trilogy with The Black Knight Returns,  but then had to pull that movie when it turned out Marvel actually had a character called The Black Knight. This lead TomCat to discover that there are a lot of superheroes that were abandoned in the 1950s and are now public domain, which they could use for their next superhero mockbusters.  Then they discovered the public domain Black Bat, and they knew they could get away with a direct rip-off of The Dark Knight Rises.

The Black Bat was the subject  of a copyright lawsuit between Thrilling Publications and National Comics over who had the rights to a bat themed detective.  Black Bat showed up in the pulp magazine Black Book Detective  in its July 1939 issue in an origin story called The Brand of the Black Bat.  His secret identity was District Attorney Anthony Quinn, who just like in the movie, was blinded with acid by Oliver Snate, which leads to the surgery that gives him night vision.  When featured on the cover of Black Book Detective, the Black Bat would have a costume almost identical to Batman.  And since Batman debuted five months earlier, Detective Comics publisher National Comics threatened Black Book Detective publisher Thrilling Publications with a copyright infringement lawsuit.  To their surprises, Thrilling Publications threatened to countersued National Publications for copyright infringement against The Black Bat. It turned out, a pulp novel character called The Black Bat had been published in Detective Mystery Index in six stories between October of 1933 and April of 1934, and the one issue Black Bat was on the cover of, had him in the black tights and black cowl ensemble that both Batman and the current Black Bat wore. And Thrilling Publications owned the rights to Detective Mystery Index, and therefore The Black Bat. Which meant National Publications was violating Thrilling Publications copyrights. But hold on a second.  Because the original Black Bat didn't have powers.  The few descriptions of him had him wearing normal clothing and no costume.  He was just an average detective who gave himself the cool name of Black Bat.  The costume came from the imagination of the artist hired to draw the covers, and probably never read the stories he was illustrating.  So basically, Thrilling Publications reinvented their Black Bat character to be more like Batman. So basically, both Publishers had a good case against each other. What could have been a devastating lawsuit for both publications was settled when Whitney Ellsworth, who worked as an editor for both publishers and didn't want to see either go out of business, brokered a deal. National would avow that Black Bat did not infringe on Batman, while Thrilling would avow that Batman didn't infringe on Black Bat. Thrilling would agree never to turn Black Bat into a comic book while National agreed never to publish Batman pulp magazines. Of course, Thrilling cheated by renaming the character The Mask for a comic book release in the early 40s. The final Black Bat story was published in Spring of 1953. Thrilling folded a few years later. For TomCat it must have been like Christmas, discovering there was an identical character to Batman  that was both public domain, and DC Comics had to legally recognize as not infringing on Batman's copyright.

Reviews
"Everything about this film reeks of not having thought anything out accept how to make a quick buck."  ~  Horrornews.net

[stethacantus]

#29

X-Men Origins: Wolverine ( 2009 )

22 points, 2 lists, #10 Pac-Man

Studio: 20th Century Fox
Script: David Benioff, Skip Woods
Producer: Lauren Schuler Donner, Ralph Winter, Hugh Jackman, John Palermo
Director: Gavin Hood
Cast: Hugh Jackman ( Logan/Wolverine   ), Liev Schreiber ( Victor Creed/Sabretooth  ), Danny Huston ( Stryker ), Will.i.am ( John Wraith ), Lynn Collins ( Kayla Silverfox ), Kevin Durand ( Fred Dukes ), Domjnuc Monaghan ( Bradley  ), Taylor Kitsch ( Remy LeBeau/Gambit ), Daniel Henney ( Agent Zero ), Ryan Reynolds ( Wade Wilson/Weapon XI/Deadpool )

TRAILER

Needless to say, with a title like X-Men Origins: Wolverine, this movie is one big spoiler.  If you still haven't seen the X-Men films, then continue reading at your own risk.

The Wizard of Oz ( 1939 ) is one of our most cherished fantasy films, and as a kid, was considered by my generation as the greatest fantasy film ever..... until Star Wars came around and dethroned it.  Between the 1950s and 1990s it aired annually on network television. Each years broadcast was such a major event that in the 70s Dunken Donuts renamed their donut holes "Munchkins", promoting them as the snack to eat while watching The Wizard of Oz. That same decade Meco released a line of Wizard of Oz action figures, as well as playsets of Munchkin City/Dorothy's bedroom, The Emerald City, and The Witches Castle.  And Marvel and D.C. teamed up for the first time to publish the official comic book adaptation of the film. It was so beloved, that who could possibly have a problem with it? Well, the fans of the novel it was based on. When the movie was released, they hated it. M.G.M. had change the story.  The silver slippers were now ruby slippers.  Locasra, the Good Witch of the North and Glenda, the Good Witch of the South were combined into the same character.  The melting of the Wicked Witch was in the middle of the book, with everyone making a second journey to find Glinda after the Wizard flew back to Kansas without Dorothy.  There  was one thing after the other altered from the source material, and fans of the book hated it.  This is something to consider whenever a film gets panned by fanboys for diverging from the source material.  It may mean the movie is a bad adaptation of the comic, but does it also make it a bad film.

This is not to say X-Men Origins: Wolverine is in the same class as The Wizard of Oz, because it most certainly isn't. But it seems the biggest reason this film is hated so much, is that it changes and embellishes too much of comic book's canon. Sabretooth is Wolverine's brother? Deadpool has multiple mutant powers, and doesn't tell jokes because his mouth is sewn shut?  I am sure I would have been pissed off at this, or any of the other liberties this movie took with changes to the X-Men mythos.  But my knowledge of the X-Men was very limited.  I read a reprint of the first issue, and various issues that crossed over into the comic book series I did collect. Most of my exposure to the X-Men came from two cartoon series that aired between the 90s and early 00s, both which had different rosters of X students at the academy and their own unique mythos. So just like with The Wizard of Oz, I  wasn't put off by X-Men Origins: Wolverine not sticking to the source material, and found this film entertaining at the least. But then again, I stuck Man-Thing on my 25 list specifically because it ignored the source material. And that was a comic book about a lumbering pile of brainless swamp goo.

So yep, Wolverine and Sabretooth are brothers, way back in the 1800s when they were still going by their birth names James Howlett and Victor Creed. They both have the same mutation that gives them advanced healing and retractable bone claws. Since they are pretty much unkillable, they fight as soldiers in just about every American war, including the Civil War and both World Wars. Durin the Vietnam War victor kills a superior officer, and both he and James end up before a firing squad, which they survive due to their healing abilities.  This brings them to the attention of Major William Stryker, who is putting together an elite strike force called Team X, which is made up of mutants. James adopts the alias name Logan and joins the team along with his brother.  But after a few missions James becomes disillusioned with the civilian casualties caused by the team, and deserts them.

A decade later James is working as a logger, living in a cabin with his beautiful girlfriend Kayla Silverfox. And it is at this point in any X-Men film that you know what happens next, because whenever you see a mutant off the grid with a happy family, you know it's going to end in tragedy. Stryker finds James, and warns him that Victor, who is now going by the name Sabretooth, has been killing members of the X Team, and he believes James is next on his list. James rushes home to discover Kayla's bloody body. He tracks down Victor, but loses a fight with him. Stryker offers to give James an experimental treatment which will make him stronger than Victor, and takes him to a secluded base. There James' bones are infused with an indestructible metal called Adamantium.  Mostly passed out during the painful procedure, James awakens to hear Stryker order the attendant to erase his memory so James can be turned into a weapon. James escapes, and tracks down two former members of  X Team, who tell him that Victor still works for Stryker, and they have been abducting mutants to experiment on. They don't know where Stryker is keeping the mutants, but do know of a mutant named Gambit who escaped from Stryker, and can tell James where the others are  being kept.

It turns out Stryker's base is at Three Mile Island. And you guessed it, the climatic battle causes the historic meltdown.  After breaking into the base,  James discovers Kayla is alive, was a spy for Stryker all along and had faked her death. It was all a scheme between Victor and Stryker to trick James into getting the treatment that turned his bones into Adamantium, and Kayla ( who, surprise, is also a mutant ), went along with it because Stryker was holding her sister hostage. Victor went along with it because he was promised the same Adamantium treatment.  But Stryker went back on his word to both of them, so are now on James side. Since there is no longer any reason for revenge, James rescues the mutants being held. Meanwhile Stryker releases his lates weapon, the late Wade Wilson who has ben resurrected and infused with the powers of several mutants, and is now called Weapon X, or as Stryker calls him, Deadpool. While James and Victor fight Deadpool, Kayla helps the mutant prisoners run to safety and gets shot.  Victor and James battle Deadpool on top of one of the reactor cooling towers, which pretty much causes the meltdown. After Deadpool is defeated and presumably killed, James returns to Kayla, but is shot in the head by Stryker, who then tries to kill Kayla too. But she is able to use her mutant mind control powers on Stryker, ordering him to walk away, and to keep walking until his feet bleed. Kayla dies of her wounds, and James  heals from being shot in his head, but has completely lost his memory and does not recognize her. He also does not remember who he is, so looks at his dog tag around his neck which has Logan on one side, and Wolverine on the other.

ORIGIN:
James Howlett, code named Wolverine, debuted October 1974 in issue #180 of The Incredible Hulk where he appeared on the final panel as a brand new foe for the Hulk to fight, the main battle happening in issue # 181. Initially a weapon for the armed forces, Wolverine soon moved on to join the X-Men, becoming their most popular member.  Little surprise that when Fox decided the X-Men movie franchise would have spin offs, the first character they thought of was Wolverine. Of course, Wolverine was pretty much the only member of the X-Men who could have an origin film, as every member was a mutant who always had their powers, while Wolverine had the addition of an Adamantium skeleton which was added later in life. While various adaptions of X-Men in other media usually do not have every team member, they have always included Wolverine. This would include every animated version of the X-Men, including the series Wolverine and the X-Men for Nickelodeon. Every attempt at a film adaption of the X-Men included Wolverine, and actors asked to play him since the 80s included Bob Hoskins, Glen Danzing, Viggo Mortensen, Russell Crowe, Edward Norton and Keanu Reeves. The role finally went to Dougray Scott who was signed a multi-picture deal to play Wolverine in all the X-Men movies and spin-offs. However, while shooting a motorcycle stunt for the John Woo directed Mission Impossible 2, Scott sustained an injury, not only meaning he would not be available to shoot X-Men on their scheduled start, but once out of the hospital, would need to return to the Mission Impossible 2 set to complete his scenes. Production on Mission Impossible 2 had already run over, forcing director Bryan Singer to shoot every scene without Wolverine in the three weeks Scott had been delayed. Now he would be unavailable for another month at least. Worst of all, Wolverine was the main character of the first X-Men movie, as the story revolved around how he and Rogue are enlisted into the X-Men. So Singer needed to recast Wolverine that day, and begin shooting scenes with the new actor the next day. And aside from Scott, every actor Singer had asked had turned down the role. But he did remember something Cameron Crowe had told him when Crowe turned down the role. Crowe suggested a friend of his named Huge Jackman, an Australian actor who primarily worked in stage musicals, but had done a little film acting. With not much of a choice, Singer met with Jackman, and he was a foot and a  half too tall to play Wolverine, who in the comics was about 5 and a half feet tall. But as there was no time left, and casting came up empty, Jackson was on the set the very next day. His performance as Wolverine turned out to be brilliant. Even fans of the X-Men who complained about a tall actor playing Wolverine prior to the film opening wound up praising him. 

Of course the second most popular actor to play an X-Men character is Ryan Reynolds, Who makes his first appearance as Wade Wilson and Deadpool in this film. It nearly never happened. Deadpool made his first appearance February 1991 in The New Mutants #98. In the beginning Deadpool was a villain, and would make the rounds in other Marvel comics including Daredevil, The Avengers, X-Force and Heroes For Hire. As the characters popularity grew, he was given his own mini-series, the success of which lead to a second mini-series, the success of which lead to a Deadpool comic book. Gradually Deadpool went from villain to anti-hero. As the staff writing the book was convinced Marvel would cancel it, they decided to have fun with the character, playing up his wisecracking personality, and continuously having him break the fourth wall and talk directly to the reader. Although Deadpool was to have shared a past with Wolverine, he was not part of the X-Men property sold to Fox, and subsequently his movie rights went to New Line Pictures who were intending to do a Deadpool franchise to be written by David S. Goyer. The one person they would have never cast was Ryan Reynolds, as at the time New Line was planning to do a spinoff series to their Blade franchise called The Nightstalkers starring Ryan Reynolds as Hanibal King. So someone else would be cast as Deadpool as Reynolds would already be in a different franchise. The entire thing was put on hold as New Line asked Goyer to direct the third Blade movie, after which New Line abandoned the Deadpool movie. Meanwhile, Reynolds was handed a n issue of Cable & Deadpool where Deadpool describes his face as  "Ryan Reynolds crossed with a Shar-pei." Introduced to the character for the first time, he soon became a fan of the character, and seeing  how similar Deadpool was to his usual screen character, wanted to do Deadpool. When 20th Century Fox picked up the character's rights for X-Men Origins, Reynolds was immediately on board, but was shocked to see how the character had been changed. This would inspire Reynolds to advocate for a proper screen portrayal of Deadpool.

A month before X-Men Origins: Wolverine was to be released, it showed up on P2P sites. The initial upload was traced back to an individual in the Bronx, who in turn showed authorities the DVD he burned it from, which he had bought from an unknown Asian peddler selling bootleg DVDs. A watermark on the copy traced back to Rising Sun Pictures, one of the companies making visual effects for the film, although which employee was responsible was never discovered. This copy was from a workprint that  had many unfinished effects, had not yet digitally removed the wires holding the actors up during some of the stunts, had a temporary music score and did not have the sound effects yet. Over 15 million people ended up downloading the workprint, with an untold millions watching the film prior to release. One critic even reviewed the film after downloading a copy, and was promptly fired. Most of this film's bad word of mouth came from those who viewed the workprint. Of course the finished film was not that much better.

Reviews
"Slice-and-dice superhero fiasco." ~ New York Daily News

"A couple of halfway decent action scenes do little to distract from the story's mounting ludicrousness, or a conclusion that's only a little more satisfying than a projector breakdown."  ~ AV Club

"Jackman's charisma breathes the fire into Wolverine, not the rather pedestrian script or the by-the-numbers action." ~ Miami Herald

"A transparent attempt to squeeze a faltering franchise for its last drop of box-office juice." ~ Rolling Stone

[LucasM]

#31 -
Fantastic Four ( 1994 )

According to Marvel Comics, the plan all along was that Corman's Fantastic Four would never be released. It only existed so that Constantin could extend their option, allowing for a deal with 20t Century Fox to be made for a big budget Fantastic Four film.  Caught off guard were the cast and crew of the film, who were convinced it would get a theatrical release.

Imagine how crestfallen you'd be if you were only going to get a single line credit on IMdB - after putting in a whole WEEK'S worth of effort! 

[stethacantus]

Imgur had been acting up yesterday, and today whenever I try to sign in, I get this message:

Imgur is over capacity!
Sorry! We're busy running around with our hair on fire because Imgur is over capacity! This can happen when the site is under a very heavy load, or while we're doing maintenance.

Please try again in a few minutes.

So without any way of adding the movie posters to the list, I can not go forward with the LoC until they fix whatever is broken. So maybe I will be able to continue the LoC tomorrow.

[LucasM]

Imgur had been acting up yesterday, and today whenever I try to sign in, I get this message:

Imgur is over capacity!
Sorry! We're busy running around with our hair on fire because Imgur is over capacity! This can happen when the site is under a very heavy load, or while we're doing maintenance.

Please try again in a few minutes.

So without any way of adding the movie posters to the list, I can not go forward with the LoC until they fix whatever is broken. So maybe I will be able to continue the LoC tomorrow.

No worries.  Sometimes stuff we can't control gets in the way.  Looking forward to the next entries when they arrive.

For the record, I've not seen about 75% of these thus far, and now I know not to.    So thanks to all who contributed, but especially to you, stethacantus!

[stansimpson]

For the record, I've not seen about 75% of these thus far, and now I know not to.    So thanks to all who contributed, but especially to you, stethacantus!

Same here. I'm learning about some really awful ones. The question is, do I seek them out because they *are* so bad? Hmmm.

Loving this list and looking forward to more!

[stethacantus]

#28

The Meteor Man ( 1993 )

23 points, 1 list, TIEBREAKER 5.1 IMDb, #3 stansimpson

Studio: M.G.M.
Script: Robert Townsend
Producers: Robert Townsend, Loretha C. Jones, Christopher Homes
Director: Robert Townsend
Cast: Robert Townsend ( Jefferson Reed/The Meteor Man ), Marla Gibbs ( Maxine Reed ), Eddie Griffin ( Michael Anderson ), Robert Guillaume ( Ted Reed ), James Earl Jones ( Ernest Moses ), Bill Cosby ( Marvin), Stephanie E. Williams ( Stacy ), Roy Fegan ( Simon Caine ), Frank Gorshin ( Anthony Byers ), Luther Vandross ( Jamison ), Sinbad ( Malik ), Big Daddy Kane ( Pirate ), Don Cheadle ( Goldilocks ), Nancy Wilson ( Principal Laws ), Tony Lister ( Digit ), Jennifer Lewis ( Mrs. Williams ), Wallace Shawn ( Mr. Little ), John Witherspoon ( Clarance James Carter III ), Another Bad Creation/Naughty by Nature/Cypress Hill ( gang members ), Chris's Tucker (  MC in mall )

TRAILER

At some point when writing Meteor Man, Robert Townsend must have suddenly realized the full magnitude of having the first black superhero on screen, and decided the scrip should have some importance to it. What ended up on screen is no frivolous action movie, but a film so relentlessly preachy that you begin to wonder if you were tricked into watching one of those Christian films. A half hour episode of Davy and Goliath is less heavy handed than any five minutes of this film. Townsend plays schoolteacher Jefferson Reed who after a breakup with his girlfriend, moves in with his parents  in a rundown neighborhood of Washington D.C. One night Jefferson is struck by a glowing green meteor which explodes, burning his flesh while his body absorbs the fragments. After recovering from a coma, the doctors remove his bandages to discover his skin has completely healed. Jefferson soon discovers the meteor fragments have given him powers, mostly the same powers as Superman, but also the power to heal, the power to communicate with dogs, and a pretty useless power where he learns the entire contents of any book he touches, but then completely forgets what he learned 30 seconds later. Jefferson's parents insist that he should become a superhero, and soon the rest of his neighbors are also asking him to become a superhero to rid their town of the gangs terrorizing them.  But Jefferson is a coward by nature, and refuses to do so. That is until  an elderly woman is savagely beaten by gang members, and he vows to become Meteor Man. Whatever fun this movie should have had was throttled by the heavy moral messaging.  Worse than that, Townsend's script never settles on a tone. Some scenes in the film are goofball comedy, no doubt what he originally intended with his first draft script. But within seconds the film switches to dramatic. For example, Jefferson and the film's villain have a vogue contest, followed immediately by the villain mortally injuring Jefferson's dog. A scene where an old woman is taken away in an ambulance after being savagely beaten by a gang cuts to a goofy montage of Jefferson trying on different superhero costumes. There is not enough of Jefferson as Meteor Man. Worst of all, using his powers drains them, so that by the third act he is no longer Meteor Man, yet still compelled to fight the film's villain and his gang. Despite a stellar cast of talented comedians, the parts of this film meant to be humorous are rarely funny, while the parts meant to be dramatic or preach moral lessons are unintendedly funny.

ORIGIN:
Ther is a disagreement between film historians whether or not Meteor Man was the first African American superhero in a motion picture. A Blaxploitation film called Abar, The First Black Superman was released in 1977, a full year before Warner Bros. Superman, and a full 16 years before Meteor Man. However, many assert that it is not a true superhero film. Abar is a bodyguard protecting a black scientist who made the mistake of moving into a town with white racists who demand he and his family move out. An hour and ten minutes into this film, the scientist invents a serum capable of giving whoever drinks it superhuman powers. After another ten minutes of badgering, the scientist finally convinces a reluctant Abar to drink it. His powers manifest in the final reel of the film, which are basically magic. He doesn't wear a costume or identify as a superhero, but rather walks around the ghetto in a daze, changing reality. Such as pointing his finger at a group of youths playing craps so that they are suddenly college graduates in caps and gowns. He returns to the racist neighborhood, uses him magic to fill the white people's houses with bees, rats and snakes, and when they all run out into the streets, whisks them away with a wind.  While definitely in the realm of science fiction, the only tie this movie has to the superhero genre is it's title.  Others claim that The Last Dragon ( 1985 ) was technically a superhero film, with Tamika obtaining powers in order to defeat a supervillain called The Shogun of Harlem. Others have dismissed Meteor Man as a film that breaks a color barrier as they contend no color barrier existed. While no black superhero had yet appeared on screen, this was mostly due to too few superhero films being produced up to that point. And a year before Meteor Man began filming, major studios were developing films featuring Spawn, Blade and Black Panther, putting to rest the notion that there was reluctance to produce a film with a black superhero. And even though all three films languished in development limbo for years, Columbia Pictures greenlit Blankman long before Meteor Man had been released in theaters.


Reviews
"Despite its high-flown intentions, most of The Meteor Man comes across like a fairly clunky sitcom inflated with sequences of righteous do-goodism." ~ Los Angeles Times

"Townsend's extremely heavy-handed message of 'If we all just work together, we can smash the gangs' is run into the ground so many times that by the time I left the theatre, I was seriously considering joining a gang just to get away from all the doe-eyed, feel-good pap Townsend had dumped in my lap." ~ Austin Chronicle

[stethacantus]

#27

The Amazing Bulk ( 2012 )

23 points, 1 list, TIEBREAKER 1.6 IMDb,  #3 Stethacantus

Studio:  Lably Productions ( TomCat Productions distributor )
Script: Keith Scaffner, Jeremiah Campbell
Producers: Lewis Schoenbrun, David S Sterling
Director: Lewis Schoenbrun
Cast: Jordan Lawson ( Henry "Hank" Howard ), Bad CGI ( The Bulk ), Shevaun Kastl ( Hannah Darwin ), Randal Malone ( Dr. Werner Von Katlove ), Juliette Angeli ( Lolita Katlove ), Jed Rowen ( Detective Ray Garton ), Deider Lyons (  Detective Lisa Tuttle  ), Terence Lording ( General Darwin )

TRAILER

A giant purple creature has  been rampaging through the city, and police detectives Garton and Tuttle are hot on it's trail.  The creature is actually professor Henry Howard, who had been working on a serum to give soldiers super powers.  Henry was in love with Hannah Darwin, but was forbidden to marry her by her father, General Darwin, until he perfected the serum. One night Henry believes he has finally perfected the serum, but with no lab rats available, injects it into himself.  This results in Henry turning into a giant purple rampaging creature whenever he gets angry.

This may sound like a harmless Incredible Hulk knockoff, but it isn't.  Everything other than the actors is CGI. And by that I mean bargain basement CGI. That includes every location, and even The Bulk himself.  At first the total use of cheap CGI is interesting, even slightly amusing.  But it wears thin quickly, and can not make up for the mediocre acting and dumb script. And then the movie introduces the Von Katlove's.  The annoying Bond style villain Dr. Werner Von Katlove, and his shrill annoying trophy wife Lolita, and her annoying  CGI pet pug dog that dances around the room with her. After just a few minutes with this couple, you will absolutely HATE this movie. Dr. Werner  spends his day  firing missiles at historic monuments just for fun. His big scheme is to blow up the moon.

Meanwhile, the Bulk accidentally kills Detective Tuttle during one of his rampages, and once he has transformed back into Henry Howard, Detective Garton arrests him for murder. He is sprung by General Darwin who wants him to turn into The Bulk and attack the Katlove fortress.   


ORIGIN:
According to director Lewis Schoenbrun, he was originally contracted to direct a Spiderman knockoff when plans for that film were canceled.  But during the planning stage he came up with cost cutting ideas that could have brought the budget down to half million, by shooting the entire movie on blue screen and using virtual sets. Even with his film canceled, Schoenbrun went further down the rabbit hole finding cost cutting ways to make a movie shot entirely on blue screen.  Looking for royalty free VR cityscapes, he stumbled upon free CGI clip art, which were meant just to be samples to demonstrate the capabilities of the firms that designed them. Among them was a CGI of a purple Hulk like creature, which gave Schoenbrun the idea to make a Hulk knockoff for cheap.  In total, Schoebrun only spent $14,000 on the movie.  Thanks to distribution from TomCat ( yea, thanks a lot TomCat ) the movie was released on DVD. It has since become so notorious that other distributors have picked it up.

On the one hand, I do recognize this movie as a bold experiment of how a movie could be made with the budget going to a handful of actors, a couple of costumes and one or two props. Everything in this movie is either CGI or stock film and photos. Locations, sets, furniture, cars, animals, all public domain CGI. Almost all of the budget was spent editing the movie. But that doesn't make up for how bad this film is. The script revolves around what free CGI the director had acquired.  They had a virtual Hawaiian set, then write a scene in where the characters visit Hawaii, even if it has nothing to do with the rest of the film. They had a dancing CGI pug dog? Then the villains have a dancing pug dog. It doesn't seem to matter to the director if a CGI character or prop is too cartoonish or don't mesh with the other CGI in the same scene.  If they had it, they used it. By the end of the movie Schoenbrun loses all restraints as he takes all the CGI he could not figure out how to incorporate in the first half of the film and dumps it all in the last ten minutes. As the Bulk lumbers across a CGI field while the CGI air force attempts to bomb him, he passes a lizard working on a laptop, cartoony humans kicking a soccer ball, a leprechaun, variations of the pug dog, even a cartoony Red Barron in a cartoony prop plane. And dozens of more CGI characters that have nothing to do with the plot.

Perhaps the worst of all the CGI elements is The Bulk, which is only capable of either standing in place and growling, or running. That is it's full range of mobility. CGI props are placed in front of it as it runs to bounce out of it's way while it runs, but that is the most we get out of a rampage. There aren't even any CGI effects showing Henry transforming into the Bulk, or vice versa.  Nor did Schoenbrun bother filming old school effects, such as putting purple paint on the actor playing Henry and doing close ups of his clothes ripping. Instead, Henry is replaced with a CGI tornado, and the CGI tornado replaced with the Bulk. It may seem amusing from the trailer, but with the novelty wearing thin three minutes in, the script that sacrifices plot for setting up the next CGI set piece, the irritating villains, the uninspiring use of public domain music, and Schoenbrun's terrible sense of humor ( none of the corny gags work ) this movie is a torture to get through. 

Reviews
"Deliberately making every aspect of the movie as cheesy and bad as possible simply isn't enough to make The Amazing Bulk worthwhile." ~  Common Sense Media

[stethacantus]

#26

Elektra ( 2008 )

23 points, 2 lists, #5 Pac-Man

Studio: 20th Century Fox
Script: Zak Penn, Stuart Zicherman, Raven Metzner
Producer: Arron Milchan, Gary Foster, Avi Arad
Director: Rob Bowman
Cast: Jennifer Garner ( Elektra Nachios ), Terrance Stamp ( Stick ), Goran Višnjić ( Mark Miller ), Kristen Prout ( Abby Miller ), Will Yun Lee ( Kirigi ), Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa ( Roshi ), Collin Cunningham ( McCabe ), Hiro Kanagawa ( Meizumi ), Natassia Malthe ( Typhoid ), Bob Sapp ( Stone ), Chris Ackerman ( Tattoo  ), Ben Affleck ( deleted Daredevil footage )

TRAILER

WARNING: This write-up has little choice but to discus a major marvel character that was killed, although is no secret to most comic book fans as it was a well pubicized death.  If you are new to Daredevil or the Elektra comic books and are planning to read the back issues, or are planning to see the Daredevil movie, or Netflix series, this may be a spoiler.

Elektra is back! And Daredevil isn't! Of all the indignities Ben Affleck had during his career; Reindeer Games, Jersey Girl, Gigli, the most embarrassing has to be having Daredevil cut out of his own sequel.  As you recall from the movie Daredevil, his girlfriend Elektra Nachios was brutally murdered by the assassin Bullseye. This film opens with Elektra alive again.  She is now a legendary unstoppable assassin who whispers in her victim's ear just before killing them. Flashbacks reveal that Elektra was brought back from the dead by a martial arts master known only as stick, who only needed to put his hand on her tummy to revive her. Elektra becomes Stick's student, but is kicked out of his dojo because she is too moody. Back in the present, Elektra is given one of those assignments where she can't bring herself to assassinate her target, so ends up being his protector. So another group is sent to finish the job, which includes villains from the X-Men comics. The rest of the plot involves twists and revelations I don't want to spoil. That is, if you do not see them coming 30 minutes before their reveal. 

Perhaps the biggest problem with Elektra is the poor choice of story. Her big mission is to stay in a house for a week and wait for instructions.  Not  exactly the action packed adventure you want from a superhero movie. When the film finally gets around to Elektra fighting, it is usually brief, and has the choreography masked with fast edits and special effects. During the climax about 20 ninjas jump through the windows of the house Elektra is in. But instead of battling the ninjas, Elektra blows them all up using a gas stove. We don't get that fight. I have no idea why Rob Bowman was so reluctant to have his stars fight. Jennifer Garner was a skilled screen fighter. She did it all the time on Alias, as well as the previous Daredevil film. And THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A F#$KING MARTIAL ARTS FILM!


ORIGIN:
Elektra debuted January 1981 as a villain in issue #168 of Daredevil.  It was a filler issue, and writer Frank Miller never intended for the character to return.  However, he realized Elektra made a pretty good villain, so began using her. She soon became an ally of Daredevil, which developed into a romance. This didn't last long. In a duel with Bullseye over which would be Kingpin's lead assassin, Elektra was fatally stabbed with her own weapon.  She was able to make it back to Daredevil's house, but ended up dying in his arms. Miller had meant for Elektra's death to be permanent, and had Marvel's promise that the character would never be resurrected, as it would cheapen the tragedy of the Daredevil/Elektra story arch. However, a decade later Marvel went back on their word. The Death of Elektra story arc became very popular, which is why the only live action version of Daredevil not to retell it was Trial of the Incredible Hulk.

20th Century Fox fully intended for Elektra to be brought back from the dead in Daredevil II, signing Jennifer Garner in a two picture deal. Despite  Daredevil being a hit, it got mixed reviews from critics and was universally panned by comic book fans. Fox was reluctant to do a sequel fearing it would bomb. The did, however, see potential in a spinoff.  And it meant they didn't need to bring Affleck back who the studio was contractually obligated to cast as the character.  So sequel, and no Affleck. Win win. However, Garner, who at the time was engaged to Affleck, demanded that he appear as Daredevil in at least a cameo. A scene was shot to appease Garner where Daredevil appears to Elektra in a dream, then was simply never edited into the film. All involved with Elektra admit that the production was rushed, and complicated by Garner having to shoot Alias simultaneously, leaving no time for retakes on the days she was available. Fox wanted a PG-13 rating, but received an R for the body count. Most of the deaths were replaced with special effects where instead of dying, the stabbed minions disappeared in a puff of green smoke. And Fox got the PG-13 they wanted.


Reviews
"Elektra shoves Frank Miller's eponymous cold-blooded assassin into a PG-13-friendly adventure." ~ AV Club

"Having died in Daredevil, Elektra has returned without a vengeance to bore us all to death." ~ Digital Spy

"Another inert, soul-dead action drama that turns actors into zombies." ~ San Fransisco Chronicle

[stethacantus]

#25

Batman Forever ( 1995 )

23 points, 4 lists, #13 Darth Geek

Studio: Warner Bros.
Script: Lee Batchler, Scott Batchler, Akiva Goldsman
Producer: Tm Burton, Peter MacGregor Scott
Director: Joel Schumacher
Cast: Val Kilmer ( Bruce Wayne/Batman ), Tommy Lee Jones (  Harvey Dent/Two-Face ), Jim Carrey ( Edward Nigma/The Riddler ), Nicole Kidman ( Dr. Chase Meridian ), Chris O'Donnell ( Dick Grayson/Robin ), Michael Gough ( Alfred Pennyworth ), Pat Hingle ( Commissioner Gordon ), George Wallace ( Mayor of Gotham ), Drew Barrymore ( Sugar ), Debi Mazar ( Spice ), Ed Begley Jr.  ( Fred Stickley )

TRAILER

The Warner Bros. logo turns into the Batman insignia. The music id dark. Tim Burton's name flashes on the screen as if this is still his film. You knew going into this that Burton was no longer the director, and Michael Keaton was replaced with Val Kilmer. But you were expecting the same Batman as the first two movies. But the first bit of dialog is a joke.

Alfred: Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you sir?
Batman: I'll get drive through.

It's not much of a joke. But why was it there at all? As the Batmobile drives off, you realize that Danny Elfman's iconic Batman theme has been replaced with a new one. Why? Then the Batmobile drives into Gotham and it is suddenly different than the past two films. The streets are full of colorful neon signs, and the buildings are bathed in a rainbow of colors. This is no Burton film. Gotham City is no longer old, broken and gothic. It is now a funhouse on crack. And for some reason has the Statue of Liberty. Everyone, from Batman, to the criminals, to Alfred, to Commissioner Gordon, talks in one liners. So much so that if they added a snare drum sound effect to the movie after every line is spoken, it would not be out of place. 

In my own opinion, Batman Forever is worse than Batman & Robin. ( Which you just know we will get to later. ) Yet, when this came out, it was given a pass. No one was saying it was as good as the previous Batman films. But I heard barely a complaint. No where as much as the complaints I heard from Batman & Robin.  So much so that I avoided seeing Batman & Robin. I was warned that it was the worst movie ever made by everyone I knew who had seen it, so why watch it? I watched Batman Forever on it's home video release because everyone said it was good. Then a few years ago I bought the Batman Motion Picture Anthology: 1989-1997 and watched Batman & Robin for the first time. My opinion: the Schumacher films were a reboot of the series. New theme. New Gotham. Different tone. Both identical. But Batman & Robin was an improvement on the new formula. And it had far better set pieces. So not the worst of the Batman films. I mean, both of the Schumacher films are bad. But still very entertaining. You get your money's worth while being pissed off at how Batman and the other characters are portrayed. But that is just my own opinion. Most people insist that Batman Forever was passably good, while Batman & Robin was horrendous.

So what was wrong with this film?  Two-Face acts like The Joker instead of Two Face.  Chris O'Donnell was too old to play Dick Grayson. ( In the comic book Bruce Wayne adopted 10 year old Dick after criminals killed his parents. The same happens in this film, but O'Donnell was 24 at the time. ) The bat suit should be on Batgirl, not Batman. Once again, too many villains in one film. Gotham is so colorful, it's distracting. Once again Bruce Wayne gives away his secret identity to a girlfriend he dumps by the next film. The plot is too episodic. Why is there a Statue of Liberty in Gotham? Come to think of it, why was there a Statue of Liberty in Metropolis in the previous Superman films?  Does DC thing France gave those statues to every city?

But those are only minor grievances. What really ruins this film is that it fails as a comedy. Of course, there is a good argument that it never should have been a comedy.  But Warner Bros. had made their minds up that the Batman franchise would be comedic, so the only way the next two Batman films would have existed would be if they were comedies. The problem was that once Warner Bros. decided that Batman Forever would be a comedy, they should have made sure that writers with a track record of writing comedies were hired to  rewrite the script. Instead, they gave the next two Batman films to Akiva Goldsman, the script writer for The Client ( 1994 ), who had never written a comedy before.  Perhaps the biggest mistake anyone can make is assuming  there is no skill in writing comedy, and that anyone can do it. But in order to be good at it, you need to learn how to filter out the bad material you write and where to find the good material.  It is a skill that needs to be developed. You don't just write an entire comedy when you do not know how to write a comedy. Which is especially harder when you are rewriting a script that had no comedic premise to begin with.  The opening gag is just a taste of the material Goldsman added to this script.  Goldsman's comedy is unfunny and groan inducing.  The only let up from the funny is the action set pieces. And that is where Batman & Robin edges this out as a less offensive film. It has longer and bigger action scenes which left less time for bad jokes.  But basically, both Batman Forever and Batman & Robin are failed comedies. For some reason no one figured that out until the second Schumacher film.


ORIGIN:
Batman made his debut in Detective Comics #27 in May of 1939. His alter identity was Bruce Wayne, a multi millionaire who as a child witnessed both of his parents murdered in an alleyway by a mugger.  Since that day Bruce vowed to become a vigilante crime fighter, adopting a bat costume and persona to strike fear into the criminals he went after.  Initially the Batman comics were dark, with Batman killing more criminals than he had arrested, and the police hunting him down as a dangerous killer. His sidekick Robin was added a year later, but still remained a dark comic with Robin occasionally killing a criminal or two. Superhero comics began to lose popularity in the late 1940s, and most of the superhero comic books were discontinued. However, Batman and Superman remained popular thanks to the Superman radio show where Batman was a frequent guest hero. Although Batman had met Superman on the radio, the two characters would not meet in the comic books until years later.  With the formation of the Comic Code Authority, Batman was forced to follow guidelines that prevented it from being dark. Of course by that time National Comics had already been toning down the darkness of the Batman comics as the character began finding mainstream success on radio and movie serials. But in order to be approved by the CCA, Batman needed to family friendly and funny. Even his rouges gallery of villains needed a remake. Batman's darkest and most popular enemy was The Joker, a serial killer who murdered his victims with a toxin that forced a grin on their faces as they died. The joker himself had a deformed face, with permanent red lips, white skin and green hair, later revealed to have been caused by Batman when as a different villain called The Red Hood, he tried to get away from Batman by swimming through a tank of chemicals. An accident that also caused his insanity. But in the CCA era, Joker was changed into a clown themed gangster who chose to play pranks on Batman as part of his crimes.

D,C, had the courage to overhaul Batman from a comedic comic book to a more dramatic comic book in the 1960s, even killing off Alfred, who had been added to the book as a comedy relief.  In 1966 ABC asked for a Batman television series, and the producer William Dozier chose to reference the 1950s era Batman which most of the target viewers had grown up with.  This included having Alfred as their butler, which eventually lead to D.C. bringing Alfred back from the dead in the comics. The tome of the series was campy comedy, which readers of the 60s Batman comic book felt mocked Batman. But the tone was strategic, allowing  Dozier to get away with violent fight scenes in every episode, which seemed far less violent with the addition letters POW and BIFF superimposed over the fight.  For two seasons the campy version of Batman was a hit television series,  and only faltered in the ratings when ABC executives interfered with the show, cutting it from an hour a week broken up into two chapters, to a half hour a week. And forcing Dozier to add Batgirl to the cast, a character he had developed for a spinoff series and never meant to be in the parent series. ABC cancelled the series. NBC offered to pick the series up, but made the offer too late as 20t Century Fox had already torn down the Batcave and Wayne Manor sets. The series did fin a second life as the reruns were syndicated in the 1970s, resulting in a new generation of Batman fans.  But by that time the CCA had reduced their restrictions on horror and violence. In response, the Batman comics wrote out Robin, having him go off to college. Then made the comics a bit darker. The Joker was once again a serial killer, reemerging in a story where he began murdering his former henchmen with deadly pranks.

In 1971 a hardcover book Batman from the 30s to the 40s  was published, reprinting entire stories from each era up to then. For those growing up on the 50s Batman or the television series, this was their first exposure to the original Batman.  Many sought to return Batman to his original dark roots. Producer Michael E Ulsan purchased the right to Batman with the intent of bringing the original darker Batman to the screen. However, every studio Ulsan pitched the film to preferred revisiting the campy version from the television series, even suggesting Adam West and Burt Ward be brought back to revive their roles as Batman and Robin. It wasn't until Tim Burton was attached as the director, and pitched to Warner Bros. a gothic version of the character that was both dark and campy at the same time. The 1989 film was a huge hit, and Burton was given the green light for the sequels. However, parents were upset that Burton's Batman had given their kids nightmares. It didn't help that Burton chose to go darker for the sequel Batman Returns. While still a box office hit, it earned a significantly less amount of money as parents refused to allow their kids to see it.  And it lost millions in merchandising as toy companies did not want any part of Burton's dark version of Batman. Warner Bros. decided they could make more money if the series was rebooted to be as campy and family friendly as the 60s television series. So Burton was lured out of the directors seat with a promise he could make a stand alone Catwoman film with Michelle Pfeiffer. He would remain the producer with the script he had developed, and Joel Schumacher would be brought in to direct.

The original outline was to have Billy Dee Wiliams return as Harvey Dent,  but not to be turned into Two-Face until the following film. And as the studio once again wanted two villains, Scarecrow and The Riddler. A now reformed Catwoman would also make an appearance, to establish that she wasn't killed in the previous film and set the character up for her stand alone film. However, once Burton was out as director, new director Schumacher wanted Scarecrow and Catwoman out of the script and Two-Face put in. Warner Bros. wanted Riddler in the movie because Robin Williams was interested in doing a Batman film if he could be Riddler. No major star was interested in being Scarecrow as the character wears a mask for most of the film, so he was pushed back for the next film.

Two-Face made his debut August 1942 in Detective Comics #66, in the story The Crimes of Two-Face. His alter ego was District Attorney Harvey Kent, who is splashed in the face with acid by Boss Moroni during the crime bosses trial. Batman had been in the court as a witness, and attempted to stop Moroni from throwing the acid, resulting in only half of Kent's face getting hit. With half his face disfigured, Kent went insane and began committing crimes as Two-Face, usually using a flip of a coin to decide if he would go through with the crime or not. Bob Kane and Bill Finger found the Two-Face character too disturbing, and after a few appearances, voluntarily ended the character when Batman convinced Kent to get plastic surgery, which in turn miraculously cured his insanity as well. The Return of Two Face was published December of1948 in Batman #50. In the story Harvey Kent's last name was changes to Dent by the National Comics editor in chief so he would not be confused with Clark Kent. Dent is worried by nightmares that he has become Two-Face again, and soon after Two-Face returns in another crime spree. The new Two-Face is captured, and revealed to be Dent's butler, who had overheard him talking about his nightmares, and using makeup, decided to commit robberies and frame Dent for it. Another fake Two-Face appeared December 1951in Batman #68 in a story titled New Crimes of Two-Face. A television network is filming a reenactment of the Two-Face story, when actor Paul Slone is doused with real acid, deliberately put into the vial by the prop man who was jealous of Slone. With half his face disfigured, Sloan goes mad and becomes Two-Face. Once again the false Two-Face only lasted one issue, as Batman convinces Sloan to get the insanity curing plastic surgery.  The original Two-Face made his permanent return February 1954 in issue #81 of Batman, with the story Two-Face Strikes Again. In the story Harvey Dent witnesses a burglary and attempts to foil it, not realizing the Burglar has attached dynamite to a safe. The explosion causes Dent's plastic surgery to fall apart, and it is immediately established that plastic surgery can only be performed on a person once ( but not really ), so this time Dent's disfigurement is permanent.  Insanity follows, and Dent becomes Two-Face once more. The return didn't last long. Later that year the Comic Code Authority was implemented, and Two-Face became one of the characters it banned. When the CCA rules were relaxed in 1971, writer Dennis O'Neil lobbied for DC to allow Two-Face to return as a villain, and he quickly became one of Batman's arch enemies from that point on.

The Riddler debuted October 1948 in Detective Comics #140 in his own self titled story. Edward Nigma grew up learning to cheat at puzzles, eventually using his skills to become the master criminal The Riddler, who taunted police by sending them clues to his upcoming crime. He was initially killed off in his initial encounter with Batman, accidentally blown up by his own bomb  death trap. But the body was never recovered, so apparently he survived, going on to become one of Batman's top  golden age enemies. He was the villain used in the pilot episodes of the 1966 Batman television series, where once again he was killed off in his first encounter with Batman. This time a gas canister is hit by a stray bullet intended for Batman, causing an explosion in the room the Riddler was in. Once again no body was recovered, and The Riddler would go on to be one of the popular villain from the series, being one of the four villains to team up in the 1966 Batman movie, along with Catwoman, The Joker and Penguin. 

Schumacher suggested they do a prequel with Batman's origin, but that idea was shot down. He settled for brining in the character Dr. Chase Meridian who Bruce Wayne could tell of his past to during sessions, which would be shown in flashbacks. And then Warner Bros. took full control of the movie, demanding the script have a full rewrite so the film would be a campy comedy just like the television series. Schumacher had been working with script writer Akiva Goldsman on The Client, which had positive reviews, so Schumacher chose him for the rewrite. Once the rewritten script was completed to Warner Bros. satisfaction, actors began to drop out. Keaton and the two Williams ( Billy Dee and Robin ) did not like the new script, and were out. But up and coming comedian Jim Carrey, who just had two hits with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and The Mask, wanted the role of The Riddler, so the film got the green light. ( Another version of this story is that Robin Williams never did turn down the role, but Carey stole it from him, and he only learned about not getting the part when he read Carey was cast in the trade papers. ) The next problem to solve was recasting Two-Face.  Schumacher  had just finished directing The Client, and asked it's star Tommy Lee Jones if he would be interested in playing Two-Face. Jones initially turned Schumacher down, but then made the mistake of mentioning to his 12 year old son that he had been offered Two-Face in the next Batman film, who badgered him into accepting the role. Considered a major star because of the hit film The Fugitive ( 1993 ), Warner Bros. were glad to have him. ( Coincidentally, Tommy had previously starred in a supernatural mystery movie called Gotham ( 1988 ) which had no relation to  Batman's city. ) To recast Batman, Warner Bros. offered the role to Dean Cain, who at the time was starring in the television series Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. But then realized that maybe audiences would not accept Superman as Batman and receded the offer. Instead they put together a short list of actors they wanted as the new Batman, which included Johnny Depp, Kurt Russel, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tom Hanks, Keanu Reeves and nearly all of the Baldwin Brothers. Schumacher threw Val Kilmer onto the wish list, an actor he had just seen in Tombstone ( 1993 ) and thought would make a good Bruce Wayne. Out of tat list, it was Kilmer who accepted the role, primarily because he was the only one of them not to bother reading the script. He was a huge fan of the original Batman  television series with Adam West, and had even been invited to visit the set when he was a kid. By the time Kilmer finally read the script, he had already signed the contract. Burton kept quiet about the movie as his Catwoman film was not yet greenlit. Ultimately Warner Bros. would pass on it. But that didn't mean that plans for a Catwoman stand alone films were completely dead.

Reviews
"Boring and near-unwatchable; its title sums it up with cruel accuracy." ~ eFilmCritic.com

"As for the actual movie, it's the empty-calorie equivalent of a Happy Meal (another Batman tie-in), so clearly a product that the question of its cinematic merit is strictly an afterthought. " ~ New York Times

"The only thing Schumacher and his scrupulous craftsfolk forgot to give the movie was life -- the energizing spirit of wit and passion that makes scenes work and characters breathe." ~ Time

"Schumacher's direction is coarse and slovenly: the picture has the self-conscious jokiness of the "Batman" TV series and the smudged, runny imagery of a cheaply printed comic book." ~ The New Yorker

"There's so much and so little going on here simultaneously that you're not sure whether to squirm or doze." ~ The Austin Chronicle