Say something nice about the next poster...

[Junkyard]

Yeah, Cowtipco has moved on to using hydraulic tippers, so I'm one of the few still doing things the good old fashioned way.

The next poster can legally re-spell the name of anyone he meets face to face.

[AmazingThor]

Now if only I can meet Thom Yorke...
The next poster gave Michael Richards and Mel Gibson a good scolding.

[Junkyard]

Scalding is spelt with an "a."

The next poster can make chainmail look like casual wear.

[AmazingThor]

I got the idea from Swayze.


The next poster loves each and every one of God's creatures.

[Junkyard]

Keeping in mind, of course, that Mosquitoes are the work of Satan.

The next poster can do a really good Nixon impression.

[RobtheBarbarian]

I am not a criminal.

Wait... goddamnit.

The next person can pull the engine straight up out of a '70s El Dorado without using tools or a crane.

[Junkyard]

But the 80's models... nothin'. Don't understand it.

The next poster got a boon from Xqprxtz, demon lord of Vqrx, that he would forever be protected from blades.

[Hazzah]

You mean, YOU haven't?

The next poster dances the lambada with all the panache of a young John Malkovich!

[Junkyard]

Which means that I can summon elemental terror into this world at will.

The next poster was in Maxim's 100 Sexiest Women of the Year list.

[Hazzah]

See how easy it is?

The next poster offers hugs to everyone they meet.

[Junkyard]

The line between hugging and groping is so very thin.

The next poster won in both "Freddy vs Jason" and "Aliens vs Predator."

[RobtheBarbarian]

All I had to do was walk briskly to escape Jason after he killed Freddy, and it turns out that Predators are easily distracted by Snausages.

The next person can see in the dark. He has the eyes of a cat; he is the Pumaman.

[Junkyard]

Altogether, my powers are about as useful as being able to lower my body temperature to 75 degrees.

The next poster is a walking anomaly.

[Mr. Schlitz]

The next poster smells like a freshly opened box of strawberry Pop Tarts.

[Junkyard]

And when you stick me in the toaster for too long, I smell just as bad.

The next poster can appreciate the flavor of postage stamps.