WORST Theater Experience EVER

[gammer]

We had a few people pass out for Saw III.  You just cart them out into the lobby and give them some water, a refund and nice smile as you wave them goodbye.   

Well as long as they only passed out. It would have been worse if they soiled themselves or had a heart attack.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

i still advise punching

[mrbasehart]

We had a few people pass out for Saw III.  You just cart them out into the lobby and give them some water, a refund and nice smile as you wave them goodbye.   

Well as long as they only passed out. It would have been worse if they soiled themselves or had a heart attack.

We did have a guy have a heart attack once.  I think it was a pretty mild one and the ambulance came quickly, I think he sent us a letter a few weeks later saying how well he was doing.

[Wheaty Petestraw]

Hallowen H20. The movie was bad enough without all the laser pointers and pointless loud commentary.

Second place goes to The Grudge. Dude, I'm sorry but muttering "you broke up the band!" every time someone says the name "Yoko" doesn't make you funny.

[euphoria]

Ugh...I seem to be a magnet for weirdos at the movies, which is why I rarely go.  The last time I went to Dead Man's Chest (I saw it three times with three different people), it was near the end of its run and the theatre was about 1/4 full.  About 20 minutes after the film had started, a family of six came in and sat RIGHT NEXT TO US, despite that there were plenty of seats elsewhere.  Not only that, but they decided to walk over the top of us - all six of them - despite that the entire rest of the row was empty and they could have gone in from the other side (and therefore not have stepped on our feet as they moved past).  The mom sat to my immediate right; inexplicably, she had brought a big-ass bed pillow along.  I spent the next half hour elbowing this pillow out of my lap every couple minutes, while listening to her youngest son endlessly ask what was going on while her husband explained everything that was going on.  Finally we got up and moved, which pissed me off since we had gotten there early and had really good seats.  Those four kids will grow up to be just as inconsiderate as the parents...and the cycle continues....endlessly...

[J-Proof]

Omg - matrix was a horrible experience, all three of em. Get every emo kid in the world in one spot wearing the same clothing and you're destined for trouble

Not when your a bigger guy who is very loud and bossy.  youll find annoy goth kids try to avoid you. 

See, I prefer a passive aggressive sort of angle. Instead of wearing a black trench coat and shades into the Matrix:Revolutions opener, I wore one of those Dane Cook spoof tshirts that says "I die if you shoot me in the chestplate." .... that oughta teach em.....

[J-Proof]

Ugh...I seem to be a magnet for weirdos at the movies, which is why I rarely go.  The last time I went to Dead Man's Chest (I saw it three times with three different people), it was near the end of its run and the theatre was about 1/4 full.  About 20 minutes after the film had started, a family of six came in and sat RIGHT NEXT TO US, despite that there were plenty of seats elsewhere.  Not only that, but they decided to walk over the top of us - all six of them - despite that the entire rest of the row was empty and they could have gone in from the other side (and therefore not have stepped on our feet as they moved past).  The mom sat to my immediate right; inexplicably, she had brought a big-ass bed pillow along.  I spent the next half hour elbowing this pillow out of my lap every couple minutes, while listening to her youngest son endlessly ask what was going on while her husband explained everything that was going on.  Finally we got up and moved, which pissed me off since we had gotten there early and had really good seats.  Those four kids will grow up to be just as inconsiderate as the parents...and the cycle continues....endlessly...

Isn't it weird how that happens? I find I attract old ladies - I dunno why, I jsut do. Even when I worked at the old restaurant the old ladies loved me....

[mrbasehart]

Ooh...I just remembered a really disgusting story that happened a little while ago.  I'll put it in spoilers in case anyone gets offended easily.

One of our security guards, James, was doing some screen checks - bascially making sure the audience was behaving itself - when a customer came up to him and told him about a disturbance in Brokeback Mountain.  James went into the screen and found three guys sat in the front row masturbating each other.  The auditorium wasn't exactly empty either, as I think it was during the first week of the movie.  He told me later that they looked either incredibly high or mentally handicapped.  I think you'd have to be.  I've caught people having sex in a screen before, but that was after the late show when everybody had left.

[BathTub]

er that would be a quote.

[mrbasehart]

er that would be a quote.

Yes.  I am a moron.   

[dignan]

This is sort of skirting the topic a bit, because for me, it was a really cool theater experience at one of the worst MOVIES I've ever seen.  I'll set the mood for you all:

Face/Off.  This was back when, before the movie started, theaters played those "Movie Tunes" rather than show trivia slides or "The 20."  About 30 minutes into the movie, the film stopped, because apparently one of patrons was having severe chest pains, and they were bringing in paramedics.  However, when they stopped the movie, the Movie Tunes came back on, and it just happened to be playing the theme from "Chariots of Fire."  That song playing while the paramedics all came rushing in was far more entertaining to me than anything in the movie.  And the guy with chest pains turned out to be okay anyway.  It was bizarre and surreal, and I loved it. 

[euphoria]

Isn't it weird how that happens? I find I attract old ladies - I dunno why, I jsut do. Even when I worked at the old restaurant the old ladies loved me....

Trust me, things could be worse.  You wouldn't believe - well, probably you would believe - the crap most women have to go through at various points in their lives just because they have "lady parts."  My first experience was at the tender age of 13; I was still very much a child back then (I wouldn't hit puberty for another three years), but had long blonde hair and was quite tall for my age.  I was walking to the community pool one morning dressed in shorts and a tank top.  Three guys in their 20s drove slowly past me in one of those loud, pimped-out "muscle cars" and started hooting and whistling and making suggestive comments, then went around the block a couple times to do it again.  Innocent me - I thought they were bullies who wanted to beat me up!  It was a frightening experience and one of a type many women have to endure throughout their lives.  At least for you, as a man, while unwelcome attention can be uncomfortable, in most cases you don't feel intimidated or in fear of your safety.  Hey, besides - older women make better lovers!   

[JonnyFrag]

I have a tie for worst theater experience.
The first one involved stuff before I got to the movie. I am a HUGE X-Phile so when the movie was coming out, I advance bought tickets to a noon shoping (first show.) I arranged to have a long lunch etc... so I could see the movie at the first possible chance. On the way, I got into a wreck. I am fairly certain it was an arranged accident, as the folks threw on their brakes in front of me for no apparent reason, and then proceded to grab their necks and moan etc... (The insurance company even ended up busting them on it and paid them nothing.) Anyway, I was not wearing my seatbelt and I whacked my head fairly good on the door. So after dealing with all that, I got to the theater in time for the next showing. The theater told me my ticket was for the noon show and would not be honored for the next one. I explained what had happened, but no dice. So I bought my ticket again. So I watched the (letdown) X Files movie after paying for it twice and with a slight concussion. Not a good day.

My second worst experience was for Episode III. We got their a touch late (opening night) and ended up in the seats way down front. Of course it was packed and with those tiny seats I ended up with a VERY sore neck and my ass had permanently fallen asleep before Anakin killed Dooku. Even though Episode III was (IMHO) far and away the best prequel, it caused me a significant amount of physical pain to watch it. Not to mention all the usual problems with modern moviegoing- cellphones, loud talkers, kids wailing, high prices, sweaty people sitting right on top of you etc...

[Tarantulas]

My worst experience was going with JonnyFrag to St. Louis to watch Superman (the new shitty one) on IMAX 3D.

The company was good, the movie was awful, and the 3D was inane and boring.

"WOW! A 3D GOAT!"

Blah.

[MrTorso]

The last couple of years have seen kids way to young in movie with parents. I saw Devil's Rejects opening weekend and there was a 5 year old kid sitting next to me. EVERYTIME there was an exposed breast or nudity the mom's hand went right up to the kid's eyes. Whenever there was a scene of blood curdling violence the kid was watching. By the end of the movie the kid was in a trembling ball on his mom's lap. At the opening weekend of Jackass 2 I had the pleasure of having a 8 or year old girl sitting next to me. She was all cute in her Sunday dress, her hair in pigtails nice shoes. The first skit of Jackass 2 involves Pontius' costumed penis being bitten by a snake. I really can't believe parents these days.