I Wanna See...

[dalem]

I'm an armchair historian of WWII.  And I've seen a bunch of war movies, WWII movies, period movies; some old, some new, some medium; some accurate, some fantasy, some bad, some good, some annoying, some wonderful.

I'm as big an America in WWII flag-waver as you can find.  I can quote chapter and verse of our successes, our failures, our contributions, and our "also-ran"s.  I know America and the Commonwealth were the Good Guys, the Germans were the Bad Guys, and the Sovs were the Better On Our Side Than Theirs guys.

And I am sick and tired of war movies about America, as much as I love to see them.  One of the reasons I love The Great Raid so much is that it devoted a large portion of screen time to -gasp!- FILIPINOS!  In a movie that was set in the Phillipines!   So here's what I want to see in a modern WWII movie:

1) A movie about the Fall of France and Dunkirk.  I want to see that part of WWII from the BRITISH side.  I want to follow a group of plucky Brits (do they have those? )as they fight and gallant their way through a doomed campaign culminating in an unparallelled naval op that turned a staggering defeat into an important victory.  I want to see Brit and French tanks smashing up early war German JunkWagens.  I want to see not a single corn-fed Iowa boy with an "aww-shucks" accent nor an M1 nor am M1919 MG - I want real English accents and bolt-action Lee-Enfields and Bren LMGs and 2-lbers.

2) A new movie about the Battle of Briitain.  Lots of gorgeous CGI Spitfires and ME-109s and ME110s and Hurricanes.  I want Chain Low and scramble and the White Cliffs.


That's what I want.

-dale

[SJP]

Hmmm...at the very least, they need to do a movie about that guy Cracked talked about...I don't remember his name off the top of my head, but he was the British soldier who wandered into battle wielding a Claymore, and was just about as awesomely insane as you can imagine someone doing that in World War II could be.  He apparently also walked out of not one, but two prisoner of war camps (just walked out of them because he was sick and tired of being cooped up, if I'm not mistaken), and on his second escape was pissed to find out the war had ended while he was walking back to base (apparently he hadn't claymored enough heads off to fill his trophy cabinet).

I imagine they would slightly embellish him in the movie, though unless they show him onscreen eating a submarine and firing the rivets out of his ass into oncoming infantry, I don't know how much more embellishing they need.

[TTYT]

Battle of Britain if you haven't seen it. Glorious movie. Some slight inaccuracies, but still...Glorious movie.

Also, Letters from Iwo Jima. A great movie. I was surprised when I realized Eastwood was doing a companion film to Flags of Our Fathers. But damned if he didn't pull it off. I love the scene where he sums up the view of the Japanese by having the famous Iwo Jima flag as a speck in the distance that's completely ignored by the Japanese soldiers.

And you should check out the movie Yamato, a 2005 movie from Japan. It's heavy on the patriotism and everything, but it's no different from some of the over-patriotic war movies we've pumped out in the past. Plus, it's got a great score by Joe Hisaishi (the guy who did the music for Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, etc...)

[dalem]

they show him onscreen eating a submarine and firing the rivets out of his ass into oncoming infantry,

... and now I wanna see that movie.

-dale

[dalem]

Battle of Britain if you haven't seen it. Glorious movie. Some slight inaccuracies, but still...Glorious movie.

Sure, but I would like to see it get a good modern treatment.

Also, Letters from Iwo Jima. A great movie. I was surprised when I realized Eastwood was doing a companion film to Flags of Our Fathers. But damned if he didn't pull it off. I love the scene where he sums up the view of the Japanese by having the famous Iwo Jima flag as a speck in the distance that's completely ignored by the Japanese soldiers.

Not all that interested in the Japanese POV.  I've read Flags but not seen the movie.

And you should check out the movie Yamato, a 2005 movie from Japan. It's heavy on the patriotism and everything, but it's no different from some of the over-patriotic war movies we've pumped out in the past. Plus, it's got a great score by Joe Hisaishi (the guy who did the music for Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, etc...)

Recommendation taken, but again, not really interested in their POV.

-dale

[warofthebees]

dalem-
You're really missing out if you don't see Letters from Iwo Jima.  One of the best World War II films I've ever seen.  It's odd to see a version of the war told from the enemy's point of view, especially since we are always led to believe that they were just insane and evil.  It's on Netflix instant watch, if you have it, so you wouldn't even have to wait for it to show up.

I would like to see a romantic comedy that completely flips out at the end.  You know how in every romantic comedy, the female lead always leaves her clueless fiancee at the alter in order to find her "true love"?  It would be worth sitting through an hour and a half of Julia Roberts/Amanda Seyfried/Katherine Heigl (insert obligatory Katherine Heigl is a giant hypocrite line) just to see the clueless fiancee at the end say things like "What the hell?  I was with you for five years and you leave me for a guy you met a week ago?  Up yours, hooker!  And hey, buddy, I'm going to find out where you live.  Oh, you're an artist?  I'm an investment banker, I'll crush you."  The fiancees are always wealthy, and the love interest is always an artist.   

[Thrifty]

I would like to see a romantic comedy that completely flips out at the end.  You know how in every romantic comedy, the female lead always leaves her clueless fiancee at the alter in order to find her "true love"?  It would be worth sitting through an hour and a half of Julia Roberts/Amanda Seyfried/Katherine Heigl (insert obligatory Katherine Heigl is a giant hypocrite line) just to see the clueless fiancee at the end say things like "What the hell?  I was with you for five years and you leave me for a guy you met a week ago?  Up yours, hooker!  And hey, buddy, I'm going to find out where you live.  Oh, you're an artist?  I'm an investment banker, I'll crush you."  The fiancees are always wealthy, and the love interest is always an artist.   

I hope that movie exists.

[Sideswipe]

it doesnt.  That would be something different, and movie studios and execs are afraid of new and different things.

[Darth Geek]

I would like to see a romantic comedy that completely flips out at the end.  You know how in every romantic comedy, the female lead always leaves her clueless fiancee at the alter in order to find her "true love"?  It would be worth sitting through an hour and a half of Julia Roberts/Amanda Seyfried/Katherine Heigl (insert obligatory Katherine Heigl is a giant hypocrite line) just to see the clueless fiancee at the end say things like "What the hell?  I was with you for five years and you leave me for a guy you met a week ago?  Up yours, hooker!  And hey, buddy, I'm going to find out where you live.  Oh, you're an artist?  I'm an investment banker, I'll crush you."  The fiancees are always wealthy, and the love interest is always an artist.   

I hope that movie exists.

I'd rather see where the nice guy at the end realizes "Hey, wait a minute. You dated this asshole for five years, accepted his marriage proposal, and you didn't know he was an asshole, or just was willing to settle because he's rich? Fuck you, bitch! I deserve better."

Then if the scenario you had is in there as well, the sequel is an epic battle between the two men. The woman is on the sidelines wondering who will win and who she will choose. The guys just look over and say "Nether of us want you. We're just fighting because we hate each other." Eventually the fighting becomes male bonding and the guys become friends. Meanwhile the woman is left with nobody. After a few years she marries some other rich asshole guy who treats her like crap and she's unhappy.

[warofthebees]

I'd rather see where the nice guy at the end realizes "Hey, wait a minute. You dated this asshole for five years, accepted his marriage proposal, and you didn't know he was an asshole, or just was willing to settle because he's rich? Fuck you, bitch! I deserve better."

That occasionally happens in those movie, but then they realize there's a third act that they have to go through and make up. 

The Onion had a hilarious article about the stalking behavior of the male leads in romantic comedies:  http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticcomedy-behavior-gets-reallife-man-arrested,757/

According to Hamilton, Marzano has stalked her for the past two months, spying on her, tapping her phone, serenading her with The Carpenters' "Close To You" at her place of employment, and tricking her into boarding Caribbean-bound jets

Actually, I just thought of a really good horror/thriller movie based on the premise of a romantic comedy-esque stalker.  Don't steal it!  (that's my way of protecting copyright)

[Thrifty]

I'm thinking the last two posts are what Date Movie could have been in the hands of competent directors with a good script.

[Darth Geek]

I'm thinking the last two posts are what Date Movie could have been in the hands of competent directors with a good script.

Good point. Kind of like those reedited trailers.

[TTYT]

I'd love to see Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts play a couple who are absolutely twisted murder-loving killers. Because they've played enough frikkin' nice people already.

[SJP]

Speaking of romantic comedies, a friend and I have always wanted to see a movie with an actual "Alternate Ending" included on the DVD.  Not talking slight camera angle variation, different dialogue, different twist...a completely different ending.  More specifically, have an alternate ending of some romantic comedy, where the two leads are finally having their big kiss, when all of a sudden the ground starts shaking.  Demon hands start punching their way out of the Earth, lava sprays out of manhole covers, people are carried up into the sky by flying imps, all while something like "O Fortuna" plays in the background.

It might sound scary, but come on, seeing Sex in the City end with hell coming to town would probably be the funniest damn thing ever recorded on film.

EDIT: Oh, and the alternate ending has to come completely out of nowhere to make it work.  There can't be any hints leading up to it.

[Thrifty]

You should see the alternate ending for Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.  HUGE twist.