Now Available - A Talking Cat!?!

[Pak-Man]

A Talking Cat!?!

Feature film · 2018

He’s a cat sent by some mystic force with a magic collar that allows him to speak out loud, but only once to any given person, and always in a sarcastic tone of voice.

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

At long last, the movie with more punctuation than basic logical coherence, it's A Talking Cat!?!

Who is the Cat who Talks? None other than Eric Roberts! Director David DeCoteau (who directed the movie under the alias Mary Crawford, can't imagine why) famously admitted that Eric Roberts recorded all of his lines in 15 minutes in his own living room. Which you'd never believe, hearing him in the movie! Because it sounds much worse than that, like he's speaking from inside a tin can deep in a garbage truck in another dimension. Or maybe Eric Roberts' living room IS a tin can deep in a garbage truck in another dimension? We may never know.

There's way too much good weird madness going on in A Talking Cat!?! to unpack in this blurb. But basically, he's a cat sent by some mystic force with a magic collar that allows him to speak out loud, but only once to any given person, and always in a sarcastic tone of voice. He also thinks in a sarcastic tone of voice, like Garfield, but it takes a while to figure out when he's talking and when he's just thinking. Also, he's there to set up a tech millionaire with a single mom who's a caterer. Her catering business is apparently based 100% on her "top notch" cheese puffs. She's all about cheese puffs, and you will never find a movie where the phrase "cheese puffs" comes up more often. Cheese puffs should honestly be mentioned in the title.

And that's just the beginning. This dish of lasagna just gets weirder with every layer you pull back. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for this insane riff of A Talking Cat!?!, which they may or may not have recorded in Eric Roberts' living room.

Written by
Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers
Molly Hodgdon, Jason Miller, Zachary Shatzer

[eegah]

So, the old guy was the kid on Family Affair and Sigmund and the Seamonsters.

I swear that the stupid kid (the one with the sister) is a long lost brother of the helicopter pilot son of Fin from Sharknado. They sound so much alike and look similar.

[CJones]

Fun Fact: Cats almost never meow to each other. Meows are almost exclusively directed at humans. It's their was of saying

Cat "Do so-so thing for me that I can't do myself.
Human: Only if you promise do something funny or cute later"
Cat "Deal"

[dbsommer]

So. David DeCoteau (of The Journey: Absolution, Retro Puppet Master, etc) directed this under a false name. Clearly he wants to give Greydon a run for the money on most terrible movies ever.

[Darth Geek]

So. David DeCoteau (of The Journey: Absolution, Retro Puppet Master, etc) directed this under a false name. Clearly he wants to give Greydon a run for the money on most terrible movies ever.

He also directed Puppet Master 3: Toulon's Revenge, the only actually good movie in the Puppet Master franchise.

[The Lurker]

Gotta love how the dad's t-shirt isn't exactly PG if you happen to know Spanish.

[CJones]

So. David DeCoteau (of The Journey: Absolution, Retro Puppet Master, etc) directed this under a false name. Clearly he wants to give Greydon a run for the money on most terrible movies ever.

He also directed Puppet Master 3: Toulon's Revenge, the only actually good movie in the Puppet Master franchise.

Interrobang!?! Puppet Master III came dangerously close to actually being a good movie.

[Pastor of Muppets]

Fun Fact: Cats almost never meow to each other. Meows are almost exclusively directed at humans. It's their was of saying

Cat "Do so-so thing for me that I can't do myself.
Human: Only if you promise do something funny or cute later"
Cat "Deal"

Adult cats don't.  Kittens meow at their mothers.  It's a way to signal to mommy that the kitten is in distress and wants food / warmth / protection.  When an adult cat meows at a human, this is a holdover from their kitten days.  The cat essentially views you as its mother.  Which makes sense, since you feed it, protect it from predators, and provide snuggly warmth.

There are of course other vocalizations cats do at each other.  There are primarily growls and hisses when they are getting aggressive.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I may be the odd man out, but I liked the movie.  I think it was primarily because of my deep love for cats.

[Pastor of Muppets]

Gotta love how the dad's t-shirt isn't exactly PG if you happen to know Spanish.

"un pinche dia a la vez" translates to "one damn day at a time".

[Iron Curtain]

I may be the odd man out, but I liked the movie.  I think it was primarily because of my deep love for cats.

Same here.

[emperorcupcake522]

I may be the odd man out, but I liked the movie.  I think it was primarily because of my deep love for cats.

Same here.

Same. Cats don't have to be good actors, they're cute.

[CJones]

I may be the odd man out, but I liked the movie.  I think it was primarily because of my deep love for cats.

Same here.

Same. Cats don't have to be good actors, they're cute.

I'm starting to get an idea of why this got made. And yeah, I also love cats.

[dbsommer]

I may be the odd man out, but I liked the movie.  I think it was primarily because of my deep love for cats.

Same here.

Same. Cats don't have to be good actors, they're cute.

I'm starting to get an idea of why this got made. And yeah, I also love cats.

Oh, I get it. People will forgive a craptastic piece of incoherence because of a fuzzy little cat, but when us alligator lovers get a Rollargator, there is no forgiveness and people crap all over the movie anyway.

I say fooey on you all. 

[Johnny Unusual]

But this is an insanely uncute cat.  He's not even ugly, but he has zero screen presence.  I don't want to huge or even touch this cat, just wish him well and be on my way.