October 2016 Horror Movie a Day

[Johnny Unusual]

6.  13 Ghosts:  This is so... how do I say it?  It's like a movie that would appear within a TV show wherein the characters are watching a ghost movie.  But in a good way.  It's very silly but fun, despite (or because of) being cobbled together from cliches.  A poor family ends up inheriting a house... a haunted house.  And if they leave, they can't sell it.  But what this movie lacks in originality, it makes up for in quantity: the house has 12 ghosts the owner has collected over the years.  But a book that the father finds tells us this is a 13 ghost house!  WHAT DOES IT MEAN!  It's actually a pretty family friendly horror movie and very silly.  The gimmick is that the screen turns blue and you are given a ghost viewer with two colors of cellophane.  Look through the red if you don't believe in ghosts, look through the blue if you do.  Then the ghosts appear in red, so if you look at the red stripe, it's "invisible".  The film definitely has unearned confidence in it's spectacle since it spends way too long on dopey looking scenes where people stare are ghosts.  I get you want a little extra time so the audiences can play with their ghost viewer, but the scene with the lion goes on way too long.

It's a fun, goofy movie and sort of the perfect one to put on the background of a Halloween party.

There was a forgettable remake last decade but remaking it is not the worst idea, to make a horror movie that, while not an out and out comedy, make a fun, silly movie with some scares.  It could even be a fun PG-rated movie.

[SJP]

7. Event Horizon (1997)
A trip to find out what happened to a faster-than-light ship turns out to be a terrible idea.  Many now famous (but not at the time) UK actors suffer as a result.
I forgot Sean Pertwee and Jason Isaacs were in this.  I also kind of wish it were possible to see what was cut from this to make it 'paltable' to audiences...apparently the gore scenes with the original crew were so intense people fainted at test screenings, but have since been destroyed so only a cheapo videotape workprint remains.  Shame...it's one of Paul W.S. Anderson's better movies, to be perfectly honest.  It was creepy without being particularly silly, and wasn't hampered by the PG-13 he had to use on Mortal Kombat.  And it at least has a script, which can't be said for some of the Resident Evil movies.

8. Corpse Bride (2005)
Tim Burton presents more puppets, only with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter involved.  A young man's wedding vow practice has him inadvertently marry a dead bride and descend to the land of the dead, but things get complicated when his actual living betrothed gets involved with a duke, the corpse bride's murderer is revealed, and the young man finds himself falling in love with the bride despite himself.
I always am torn about this movie, as while I liked the Wallace & Gromit movie more at the time (they were both up for Oscars, and this lost to Aardman), I do still think it is a wonderful technical achievement.  It is an utterly beautiful labor of love.  However, it's very technical merits are what make it suffer...the stop motion is wonderful, but because of how complicated it is, it seems like some important stuff was left on the cutting room floor, especially when it comes to how the Depp/Carter romance becomes what it does.  It all feels very rushed.  It's a good movie, but it feels like it's missing something.

9. Goosebumps (2015)
A high school kid moves into a new town and gets intrigued by the girl next door, even though her father seems to be very controlling and weird.  He does have a reason, though...he's secretly R.L. Stine, the author of all the Goosebumps books, and the town is in for a rough night when his various monsters escape into the real world to wreak havoc.
I expected this to be fairly standard, but dumb, harmless fun.  And really, it is, but it gets elevated by Jack Black as the reclusive author, who not only has a lot of quotable lines, but has a weird, affected accent that makes what he says even funnier.  Not particularly scary, not even for younger kids (none of the monsters are all THAT creepy, and they are 99.9% CG), but it's a way better movie than it has any right to be.

[Johnny Unusual]

7. The Frighteners
Being a movie produced by Robert Zemekis and directed by young Peter Jackson, it feels very much like both.  The CGI is not that great (the "Reaper" doesn't look that impressive, though it is always cool looking when he whips out his scythe) but it is still a well directed movie.  But overall it's only an OK movie.  The two ghost sidekicks feel a little too shallow and they don't get a lot of memorable lines.  Sean Astin fairs a little bit better, but I feel like the film wanted to move the plot along at the expense of characters.  They do try to spend a lot of time making Michael J. Fox a likable jerk but despite Fox's charm, it doesn't come across.  It's a fun ride, but it sadly feels like it could be more.

8. The Shining
I had just finished the audiobook, so I decided to watch the movie again.  I like both but it is interesting to compare the two.  Though I think the movie is better than the book (I like both), it is interesting to see what the film sacrificed in favour to become the film it was.  The book ends on a much more hopeful note but the movie is relentlessly bleak.  I love that moment wherein Jack Torrance seems to be talking to the audience. It might be a very different portrayal than the book, but it is still incredibly impressive.

[Darth Geek]

7. The Frighteners
Being a movie produced by Robert Zemekis and directed by young Peter Jackson, it feels very much like both.  The CGI is not that great (the "Reaper" doesn't look that impressive, though it is always cool looking when he whips out his scythe) but it is still a well directed movie.  But overall it's only an OK movie.  The two ghost sidekicks feel a little too shallow and they don't get a lot of memorable lines.  Sean Astin fairs a little bit better, but I feel like the film wanted to move the plot along at the expense of characters.  They do try to spend a lot of time making Michael J. Fox a likable jerk but despite Fox's charm, it doesn't come across.  It's a fun ride, but it sadly feels like it could be more.

It's John Astin. He liked working with Peter Jackson so much that he highly recommended Sean take the role in LotR.

[SJP]

There was a weird attempt to revive William Castle movies in the late 90s/early 2000s that started with the (admittedly decent, but certainly gorier) House on Haunted Hill, but the Thirteen Ghosts remake just didn't do anything for me...and apparently it didn't do much for anyone else, either.  Still have yet to see the original, but I've always liked Castle, so I'm sure I'll get to it sooner or later.

10. Extraordinary Tales
Five animated versions of Poe.  Yes, it is another anthology collection, but with the added advantage of pretty visuals.  I won't go into the story details since they're so well known, but I can give my opinion on the way they're told.  The only thing that would be 'new' is a wraparound in which Poe, somehow reincarnated as a raven, speaks to death in the middle of a cemetery, which acts as the lead-in to all the stories.  It's...OK, I guess?  Though the 'folded paper' look is neat.
1. Fall of the House of Usher: The animation style is nice, but the real star of the show is Christopher Lee's voiceover.  Enjoyable enough adaptation.
2. The Telltale Heart: Bela Lugosi narrates, and boy, is it an old, worn-out recording they used.  It's barely audible, despite Lugosi giving it a grand performance.  The visual style black and white and very harsh, and while not bad, I'd say it's the second weakest of the entries.
3. The Strange Case of M. Valdemar: I always had a soft spot for this story, and I like how they made it look like an EC Comics story.  Still, the voiceover is probably the weakest of the lot; its spot in the middle is probably just about right.
4. The Pit and the Pendulum: The most natural animation of the anthology, but the story takes some liberties with the story that just don't work (the pit just appears in the middle of the dungeon?  Really?).  Of course, the ending suggests it could all be in the mind, so it's understandable in that context, but overall it's a shame that one of the most iconic stories is the weakest overall.  Guillermo del Toro does do the voiceover, though, and does what he can with it.
5. The Masque of the Red Death: They saved the best for last.  There is only one line of dialogue in the whole thing, no voiceover, and it really sets the mood.  It looks like 2D rotoscoping, even though it is computer animation, but it is lovingly shot and effectively done.  I even like how each room is not only a different color, but a different 'sin,' be it gambling, gluttony, or what.

EDIT: Figured it was easier to edit this than add the review of the 11th in a separate item...
11. Rifftrax: Mutant (1984/2012)
"Evenin', Wally."  "Evening, Clyde!  How's the family?"
Wings Hauser and his brother arrive in a small town where everyone has yellow goo dripping from holes in their hands.  It is later revealed that this sort of activity is not normal.
It's still hard for me to believe this movie was released in the mid-80s.  It looks like an Incredible Hulk episode that went over budget.  Still, it's amusing to note that this movie not only killed the studio, it made the owner of the studio take a cool million and run off to parts unknown...so unknown that to this day nobody knows where he went, or if he's even still alive.  Sadly, while checking the release date of the Rifftrax, I found out it is no longer available for purchase on the site, so those of you that don't have it, you currently can't buy it.

[Johnny Unusual]

It's John Astin. He liked working with Peter Jackson so much that he highly recommended Sean take the role in LotR.

A mistake of rhyming names.  Love John.  Played easily the best character on Taz-Mania (I love when writers decide to make villains friendly and chipper).


9-10. MST3k "The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy"  "'Manos' The Hands of Fate"

The Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy is not one of the better season one episodes.  It's downright not good.  But it is always easy to see those humble beginnings.
Manos is not my favourite episode but it is a really funny episode. 

11. Rifftrax Live- "Manos" - The Hands of Fate
I don't usually like to see reriffs of great episodes but there is some great stuff in this version.  My favourite bit is, after Torgo takes forever to stand up, Bill replying "Oh, don't get up Torgo."  Still, if they are going to do reriffs, give me more Robot Monsters and the Crawling Eye.

12. Rifftrax - The Night Dracula Saved the World
This is... weird.  Not in the obvious way due to it's terrible comedy.  I mean, this TV special is terrible and unfunny but I've seen harder to tolerate bad comedy.  I don't think that's what made it so hard to watch.  It was just... really dull.  Really, really dull.  And the bizarreness of it's premise (The Witch flying over the moon makes Halloween happen) somehow doesn't make it even bemusing.  It also feels much too slight for the half hour it lasts.  It was an alright riff, but I feel like this was a hard one to work with.

[PsychoGoatee]

Don't think I'll be catching up, but gotta share one. Tonight we watched... Nightmare Beach! Amazing stuff from 1989, featuring John Saxon and Michael Parks, fun stuff from Italy. In that great period where they'd play over the top metal while the killer did their kooky stuff, very very fun stuff.

[Johnny Unusual]

13. Rifftrax Live - Birdemic: Shock and Terror
This is a pretty decent rifftrax.  That's about it.

14. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
FINALLY!  Got around to rewatching this one.  It is a pure, ridiculous delight.  It's also an interesting case of what if.  As dumb as the movie was, I feel bad that the "Halloween as an anthology film series" never took off.  I think it might have had a chance if Michael Myers hadn't become so darn iconic.  But let's face it, the sequels, even by slasher movie sequel standards, are pretty bad.  H20 had some moments, but overall, it's bad stuff.  Anyhoo, I like this one despite the fact that there's a scene where some poor kid's head erupts in snakes and bugs.  I don't care if the kid was a jerk, that kind of mean-spirited cruelty often gets under my skin.  Not to say I can't find violence against kids funny or amusing (re: the part in Planet Terror where a mother gives a kid a gun to protect himself.  Oops.).  But the movie is just so... silly, in the most wonderful way, that it's not hard for me to get over it.  NOW, my mission to watch all the original Halloweens this year is over.  Next: either Blood and Black Lace or Dracula 1972.

[Darth Geek]

14. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
FINALLY!  Got around to rewatching this one.  It is a pure, ridiculous delight.  It's also an interesting case of what if.  As dumb as the movie was, I feel bad that the "Halloween as an anthology film series" never took off.  I think it might have had a chance if Michael Myers hadn't become so darn iconic.  But let's face it, the sequels, even by slasher movie sequel standards, are pretty bad.  H20 had some moments, but overall, it's bad stuff.  Anyhoo, I like this one despite the fact that there's a scene where some poor kid's head erupts in snakes and bugs.  I don't care if the kid was a jerk, that kind of mean-spirited cruelty often gets under my skin.  Not to say I can't find violence against kids funny or amusing (re: the part in Planet Terror where a mother gives a kid a gun to protect himself.  Oops.).  But the movie is just so... silly, in the most wonderful way, that it's not hard for me to get over it.  NOW, my mission to watch all the original Halloweens this year is over.  Next: either Blood and Black Lace or Dracula 1972.

Try the Hor-Riff-ic Productions riff of this, it's hilarious.

[Johnny Unusual]

15. Dracula AD 1972
I wrote this on another board, but I'll just past it here.

15. Dracula A.D. 1972  movie about Dracula waking up in 1972. There's a lot of different ways to go with this: a campy movie where Dracula attacks key parties and pet rocks, a movie about Dracula embracing this decadent time and insinuating himself into high society, a movie that examines both classic horror and the horror of today and maybe says something about how they are different or about how they maybe aren't too different at all beyond the superficial differences.

Instead, it's a movie where Christopher Lee shows up about three times. It's like they didn't want to commit to the premise of Dracula in 1972, so he's stuck in this old church while most of the movie is outside of it, waiting for it to come to him.

Also, he admonishes Peter Cushing for trying to outsmart him and that he's commanded nations. He then chases Peter Cushing up some stairs and then gets pushed off onto a stake. He gets better, then chases Cushing into a graveyard, then falls into an open grave filled with pointed sticks. It should be noted, Cushing didn't set that up. It just happened to be on his home base.

Reminder: Christopher Lee is fine in this but isn't given nearly enough to do.

Reminder 2: I'm hosting a list of crap for top vampires.  I have 11 lists now, which is a fine number, but if you want to take part and send me a list of your favourite vamps, please do!

[SJP]

12. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
What the title says.  Plus vs. a bunch of teenagers.
It's actually kind of surprising to go back and watch this and realize how gory it is (and quite a bit of it practical, too).  They got away with a lot more than I remembered and still managed an R rating.  Still, while the story is an interesting setup, and the two actually have a decently long battle, there is an awful lot of exposition in this, with a lot of characters we don't care about.  And considering this is a New Line picture, they kind of give Freddy a shaft for a lot of it.  While the dream stuff he does is cool, he doesn't get to do enough.

13. Fright Night (1985)
A high school kid (played by a 25-something, natch) finds out his neighbor is a vampire, but nobody believes him...except the vampire himself.  He somehow has to convince his friends (as well as a late night horror show host) to help him deal with the threat.
Yes, it's very campy, and it's very 80s, and it's a very slow burn.  But it's got a great soundtrack, and the dance club scene is probably one of the more iconic moments in vampire movie history.  The acting is over the top, but considering it's poking fun at old, campy horror films in the first place, it's kind of the point.  I still highly recommend it.

14. Jaws 3-D (1983)
A shark attacks Sea World, and Dennis Quaid aims a lot of stuff directly at the audience.
Yes, this movie is deserving of its reputation.  It's slow going, it's kind of pointless, and by Jaws standards very few people get eaten.  But, seeing it in 3-D is a lot of fun (if unnerving, since it is VERY in your face), even if the visual effects suck.  The shark may be the worst model in the entire series.  But hey, Simon McCorkindale has a lot of fun with it.  I should point out this is the first time I've ever watched the movie all the way through without seeing the TV edit...it's a lot grosser than I remembered it being.

15. Infini (2015)
When things go wrong on a Neptunian mining vessel, the Space Cops sends a team to find out what happened...but when the team comes back insane, a lone Space Cop gets stranded out there, and a second team goes to rescue him.  The thing is, what exactly are they mining out there?
A fairly grim little movie, with a lot of violence, swearing, and definitely a lack of budget.  Everyone acts well enough, and it has some intriguing science fiction aspects, but wow, does it have a goofy ending that wraps things up a little too nicely.  I'd still say it's worth a look, but go into knowing things get a little "Oh come on, really?" at the end.

16. Jaws 2 (1978)
Jaws comes back.  Again.  Sheriff Brody also comes back.  Again.
Figured after the third one, I should go back and watch one that's slightly better regarded.  The shark certainly looks less fake, and even if Roy Scheider is on record stating quite vehemently that he hated the idea of doing this movie in the first place, he does pretty well with it.  Still, it does some moments that hit the goofy button (the scene in which someone accidentally douses themselves with gasoline and then their first thought is to reach for a flare gun is pure riffing gold).

[Compound]

I'll fill in some back reviews later.

Piranha Sharks (2015)
After discovering that their microscopic sized shark-piranha hybrids are a wash, entrepreneurs convince the company to let them sell the micro-sharks as sea monkey-type pets. Things go badly after that.

You know, I didn't expect much from a film about shrimp sized sharks, especially flying air-breathing micro piranha-sharks but I was pleasantly surprised. One thing that drives me nuts in movies is when people carry the idiot ball just to advance the plot. "My poodle is outside! I'll open the doors to the mall while a murder of zombies are milling around the door." "A killer's loose? Lock the doors? Nah. I'll just leave them open." "People were murdered in the old asylum? Sounds like the perfect place for a rave!" "Someone killed a cop while apparently shouting out his own name? Gosh, that's not unusual behavior at all! Certain not a setup! Better start a manhunt!" This was a film where everyone involved acted rationally, with one possible exception. Folks buying a tank full of guppy-sized sharks? Sure. Exterminators noticing that a tank of 20 sharks was 200 sharks the next morning and they better figure out a way to kill them ASAP? Yep. The company President who realizes that the sharks are out of control and it'd be best to kill them? Yep. The Feds who respond with "Oh, a bunch of little sharks breeding insanely? Yeah, we're going to nuke New York before they hit the ocean. Start evacuating." Even the crazy scientist who made them acts in a rational, for a crazy scientist, manner. The only person who doesn't act rationally is Jose Canseco, who behaves like, well, Jose Canseco. It was a surprisingly watchable little film.Nice work, film makers.

[Johnny Unusual]

16. Blood and Black Lace
An early giallo film.  A series of murders strikes models of a house of fashion, perpetrated by a masked person who looks like the Question.



However, while the cops believe it is the work of a "sex maniac" the audience sees that this killer is after something: the diary of his first victim.  The film has a lot of eye-poppin' colors so that this film has gorgeous women getting gorgeously murdered.  It's all pretty kinky stuff.  From a style stand point, this is an amazing looking movie.  I will say it is kind of a horror movie in parts, but a lot of it is more of a sleazy whodunit without a parlor room scene.  And the last act feels very much like an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents with the villain paying the price for both crime and arrogance about said "perfect murder with airtight alibi".  I will also say it's one of the few movies I've seen where Cameron Mitchell isn't shitty.  I mean, he isn't amazing but he does well enough (then again, I watched the Italian version, so maybe if I was Italian, it would be easier for me to see his acting flaws.

[SJP]

17. The Lurking Fear (1994)
A recently released convict hears that his ancestral family home has a stash of cash buried somewhere on the property.  Turns out there's more than just money under the ground...

Another Full Moon Production, and boy, what I was hoping for with Shrieker is exactly what I got here.  THIS is the Full Moon we all know and love.  Cheap, over the top acting?  Check.  H.P. Lovecraft story with Jeffrey Combs involved?  Check.  Dialogue that high school student drama clubs would consider ridiculous?  Double check.  Villains where no villains were needed?  Ultra check.  Goofy monsters?  You bet.

All this, and the film contains a completely unnecessary and hysterical cold opening (to be fair, so did Shrieker), as well as one of the greatest laugh-out-loud moments I've seen all month.  Let's just say keep an eye out for the 'blindside corpse-throwing' scene.

Pure, unadulterated schlock.  Highly recommended.  Shame the late, great Vincent Schiavelli didn't get more screen time, though.

[Johnny Unusual]

17. Rifftrax: Frankenstein Island
This isn't one of my favourite rifftrax, but it has some of my favourite riffs, including "You there!  Why are you watching this."

This is a crazy movie and I have NO idea what it was going for.  It's completely befuddling.