What Would You Like To See?

[PlayMSTie]

I want to see a heterosexual man and woman get together in some situation, co-workers, fellow super-soldiers, partners in crime, scientists, con-men, trapped in a cave with a psychopath and over a thousand vampiric octopi, claim that they have no romantic interest in each other, and end the movie still in a close-knit but clearly platonic relationship.

As a follow-up, I want a movie or show where the woman who says she hates the man actually DOES hate the man, and keeps hating the man, and never, ever falls in love with the man.

Because let's face it, if you're not Kate Hepburn, odds are you ain't gonna pull that one off without it looking fake and contrived.

Besides, it would be nice to see just ONE movie or show where the woman actually knows her own mind from beginning to end, and where the qualities in the guy that should serve as a warning DO serve as a warning.

I would also like to see a movie where a heroine doesn't treat people like dirt as evidence of her cutesy charming quirkiness. If she must treat people like dirt, let it be evidence that she's a cold-blooded witch.

Who, me, scarred for life by watching too many excruciatingly butchered fictional attempts at romance? Whatever gave you that idea? 

[Hebs]

I want to see a heterosexual man and woman get together in some situation, co-workers, fellow super-soldiers, partners in crime, scientists, con-men, trapped in a cave with a psychopath and over a thousand vampiric octopi, claim that they have no romantic interest in each other, and end the movie still in a close-knit but clearly platonic relationship.

As a follow-up, I want a movie or show where the woman who says she hates the man actually DOES hate the man, and keeps hating the man, and never, ever falls in love with the man.

Because let's face it, if you're not Kate Hepburn, odds are you ain't gonna pull that one off without it looking fake and contrived.

Oh man - YES.  I mean Adam's Rib is it as far as the love-hate thing.  And you put it well - that's the whole reason why I can't stand most of John Wayne's hokey stuff - it's all :
SLAP  I hate you, you big lummox - you arrogant -
SLAP SMWACK
...  Oh John... more silly kissing..

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

*clanks beer mugs with PlayMSTie*

I hear yah! Enough with the "repeatedly kneeing a man in the groin is a sign of affection" shtick.

I think one of the best examples of this love-hate/daterape fantasy/death of character believeability is in "Swing Parade". The love interest/female lead chases the male lead around the room in the "private dinner" scene, threatening to bludgeon him with a champagne bottle. This illustrates two character-breaking and inexplicable things:
1. The female lead decides, with little evidence beyond general romantic interest, that she is in danger of being raped, and attempts to commit acts of gorey violence.
2. The male lead, being thusly threatened with a champagne bottle, seems relatively unperturbed and does not take a hint and back off, or even shield his brittle skull in a defensive manner.

From these two cinematic atrocities we can draw the general formula for two out of every twenty three romantic comedies created in the last seven decades.



And while we're at it, can we ask that, in a movie where the male romantic lead is a "nice guy" or "nerd" or "average joe" or "total idiot", and the female lead is reluctant to pair up with him until she learns how dedicated he is and not to be "shallow", can I ask said female lead played by somebody who does not have molten steel white teeth, long blond hair, and carry 50% of her weight (a total of fifty pounds) in her chest area?


Also, how about the following scenario: at some point in a film or series, somebody puts hard work in an attempt to put on a play, but everything goes awry and disastrous failures occur. Following these mishaps, rather than the audience percieving the play as a farcical comedy and lapping it up, packs away during the intermision, and the play is a miserable flop.

[Hobbit]

I want to see a heterosexual man and woman get together in some situation, co-workers, fellow super-soldiers, partners in crime, scientists, con-men, trapped in a cave with a psychopath and over a thousand vampiric octopi, claim that they have no romantic interest in each other, and end the movie still in a close-knit but clearly platonic relationship.

As a follow-up, I want a movie or show where the woman who says she hates the man actually DOES hate the man, and keeps hating the man, and never, ever falls in love with the man.

So...The Wicker Man?

As far as battle royales are concerned, you can have all the ninjas, pirates, robots, samurai, etc. you want, but no battle royale is truly complete with wizards.

[PlayMSTie]

I want to see a heterosexual man and woman get together in some situation, co-workers, fellow super-soldiers, partners in crime, scientists, con-men, trapped in a cave with a psychopath and over a thousand vampiric octopi, claim that they have no romantic interest in each other, and end the movie still in a close-knit but clearly platonic relationship.

As a follow-up, I want a movie or show where the woman who says she hates the man actually DOES hate the man, and keeps hating the man, and never, ever falls in love with the man.

Because let's face it, if you're not Kate Hepburn, odds are you ain't gonna pull that one off without it looking fake and contrived.

Oh man - YES.  I mean Adam's Rib is it as far as the love-hate thing.  And you put it well - that's the whole reason why I can't stand most of John Wayne's hokey stuff - it's all :
SLAP  I hate you, you big lummox - you arrogant -
SLAP SMWACK
...  Oh John... more silly kissing..

Okay, you got me. I gotta confess that I'm fond of The Quiet Man.  I should have said, "If you're not Katharine Hepburn OR Maureen O'Hara." Because it's mostly in contemporary movies that they can't pull this kind of storyline off. (Maybe it helps, too, that Wayne is something of a reformed character in that one and reluctant to resort to outright violence. Also that he and O'Hara are a pretty good match for each other in a fight.) But Swing Parade (which I haven't yet seen) also sounds like a good example of what I'm talking about.

I guess it comes down to this: You have to have really, really good actors and really, really good writers to make that particular plot work. If you're weak in either of these areas, don't even try. Otherwise one or both comes off looking (1) stupid, (2) evil, or (3) both. Usually (3).

And as for you, Hobbit, you're just plain mean.  Wicker Man indeed!

[PlayMSTie]

Sorry, I can't seem to shut up today (what was in that coffee anyway?), but I just remembered the perfect example. You've Got Mail. The issue that causes Meg Ryan to hate Tom Hanks is never resolved, but they don't care. It's "You took over the business my mom left me that meant the whole world to me, with your big chain store that's against everything I stand for, but never mind, let's just smooch!" Bad writing and bad acting (mostly on Ryan's part), and not even remotely believable.

[Hobbit]

Sorry, I can't seem to shut up today (what was in that coffee anyway?), but I just remembered the perfect example. You've Got Mail. The issue that causes Meg Ryan to hate Tom Hanks is never resolved, but they don't care. It's "You took over the business my mom left me that meant the whole world to me, with your big chain store that's against everything I stand for, but never mind, let's just smooch!" Bad writing and bad acting (mostly on Ryan's part), and not even remotely believable.

It's also a remake of "The Shop Around the Corner," starring Jimmie Stewart and Margaret Sullivan.  It's probably one of the best romantic comedies I've ever seen, and it holds up much better than "You've Got Mail."  Also, no association with AOL.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0033045/

[Hebs]

It's also a remake of "The Shop Around the Corner," starring Jimmie Stewart and Margaret Sullivan. 

That's an awesome film, and I'm pretty sure all of Nora Ephron's movies are remakes or homages to her favorite films.  But Frank Morgan is the BEST in that movie.  And I like Sullivan's delivery - she talks so fast in that movie!  Not Babs Stanwyck fast, but fast.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I think there was some implied resolution of the hate, where she walks through the Fox bookstore  and sees kids sitting on beanbag chairs for a reading and seems to think "eh, it's a bookstore too."

It's a pretty weak one, but I just thought I'd point it out.

[SaucyRossy]

I would like to see a movie of William Shatners life.

[Sharktopus]

I would like to see a movie of William Shatners life.

Seconded!

William Shatner presents
William Shatner in
Shatner!
Written & Directed by William Shatner

[Junkyard]

William Shatner presents
William Shatner in
Shatner!
Written & Directed by William Shatner

Critics are raving!
"Shatner plays the role as though he were born into it!"- The New York Post
"Enough Shatner for the whole family!"- New York Times
"Has almost nothing to do with beets!"- Beet Farmers Quarterly

[Bob]

"Has almost nothing to do with beets!"- Beet Farmers Quarterly

Oh, I see you too, have sold out to the Beet Syndicate.    They are getting too powerful if you ask me.

[gbeenie]

"Has almost nothing to do with beets!"- Beet Farmers Quarterly

Oh, I see you too, have sold out to the Beet Syndicate.    They are getting too powerful if you ask me.

Yeah, I'm sick of the "Maroon Mafia."

[Hebs]

William Shatner presents
William Shatner in
Shatner!
Written & Directed by William Shatner

Critics are raving!
"Shatner plays the role as though he were born into it!"- The New York Post
"Enough Shatner for the whole family!"- New York Times
"Has almost nothing to do with beets!"- Beet Farmers Quarterly

Hahah -  I like that it 'ALMOST' has nothing to do with beets. 

"Mildly entertaining drivel!" - The New Yorker
"HUGELY fun, wild ride!" - William Shatner
"It was OK" - Leonard Nimoy