ghoulish lessons

[Smith Dr John Smith]

I learned that you can't just walk away from a haunted house you have to drive away,and if you can't drive away you have to go back into the haunted house that people have been getting killed in.

I also learned that the county will employ people "who were bound to go off and kill someone at some point" and if someone you know does get killed by them it is their fault for getting in the killer's way.

[eegah]

I learned that it's ok for the word "shit" to be in the original movie unbleeped, but the rifftrax must bleep the same word immediately afterward.

[LuvBJones]

I learned that ... um ... well ... I learned ... uh, I don't really remember ... does this mean I have to watch it again?

[Amethyst]

I learned it's possible to be born in 1933, and die in 1967 and still have the body of a child. (Seriously. Check the dates on that child's grave....)

[Smith Dr John Smith]

I learned it's possible to be born in 1933, and die in 1967 and still have the body of a child. (Seriously. Check the dates on that child's grave....)

GOOD NIGHT YOU ARE RIGHT!

Wow! Are we 100% sure Ed Wood's ghost didn't direct this movie?

[Smith Dr John Smith]

I learned that just walking away when your car breaks down outside a haunted house after someone gets killed is not an option.

I also learned that after someone dies in the house the police will just leave you there and not ask you to come down to the station and write a statement or answer any questions about the murdered guy.

[eegah]

I learned it's possible to be born in 1933, and die in 1967 and still have the body of a child. (Seriously. Check the dates on that child's grave....)

It looks like 1958-1967 to us.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

[Bob]

So then, she was born in 1958, the plot makes total sense!

The ending to this still makes no sense......

[eegah]

The name's still wrong, however...Hawks, anyone?

[Tony Farms AKA Puma Man]

I learned that the vaguely European female lead looks just like if Noomi Rapace and Leelee Sobieski somehow produced a child that they sent back in time to star in a shitty horror movie.

The fact that Leelee Sobieski has a time machine should terrify all of you!

[MST3Kgirl]

I learned that that damn theme tune with the funky drum beat is catchy enough that my husband wants the MP3.

I learned that tranquilizers are the answers to all of life's problems.

[Darth Geek]

I learned how every Rifftrax recording session ends.