Autobots! Tells us what you have learned!

[Trekker4747]

Just sitting down to watch it, but I know I already know that Shia LeBouf is an insufferable douche.

[CJones]

I learned that is the LONGEST FREAKIN' MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!

Okay, probably not, but it sure feels like it.

[Trekker4747]

I learned it is very hard to watch this movie and not get a pounding headache and a complete and utter desire to punch Shia LeBouf in the face.

You know how there's Jar-Jar Binks-less fan-edit of Episode 1? I'd like to see a Shia-less edit of Transformers.

[Compound]

Me? I learned that I missed this song.

(Waves to Bill)

I also learned that writers are still eating Cafe Steamers.

[stansimpson]

I learned it is very hard to watch this movie and not get a pounding headache and a complete and utter desire to punch Shia LeBouf in the face.

Trekker, have you met the word backpfeifengesicht? 

[CJones]

I learned that Laserbeak can pretty much turn into any machine of roughly equal size. None of this "having to commit to one form at a time" business for him. I guess that does make marginally more sense than turning into a cassette tape; especially considering how out of place a cassette tape of any size would look today. Speaking of which, I'm disappointed we never see Soundwave transform into a boombox. Or anything else for that matter.

I also learned that in an absurdly long movie, they still somehow manage to not show how Bumbble Bee and the others got captured.

For that matter, since when do the Decepticons even take prisoners? And why would they? The Autobots certainly don't bother too, and they're the "good" guys.

[Darth Geek]

I learned that Laserbeak can pretty much turn into any machine of roughly equal size. None of this "having to commit to one form at a time" business for him. I guess that does make marginally more sense than turning into a cassette tape; especially considering how out of place a cassette tape of any size would look today. Speaking of which, I'm disappointed we never see Soundwave transform into a boombox. Or anything else for that matter.

Didn't the little boombox spazzy gremlin Decepticon from the first movie have a few forms? Boombox, mobile phone, and I think one other, all of significant'y different size from each other.

[Trekker4747]

The first movie established that the Transformers can "scan in" any form and turn into that, we see Bumblebee transform from a 70s or 80s era Camaro to a late-model one in one scene.  I really wish the movies (read: Michael Bay) had thought all of this stuff through and they had committed to one form or another and actually made the darn transformations make sense and were logical to the spaces and such involved.  The scene where Bumblebee transforms, tossing Shia out, shoots some robots, and goes back into car form (at one point "catching" Shia and then pulling him back inside) is just so over the top and makes no damn logical sense at all (plus Shia's constant high-pitched screaming during THE ENTIRE DAMN SCENE).  I swear the transformers in this movie must tap into null-space to put their various parts into.   In an opening scene we see Bumblebee partly transform and a large cannon comes out of his roof, a large, huge, cannon out of a roof to a car with a normal interior that can accommodate passengers.

That's what I learned here: Michael Bay has no concept of physical space, dimensions or how the universe works in any way, shape, or form.

Also, Autobots are totally cool with killing enemies who've surrendered to them.

[CJones]

Just to clarify, there were two Laserbeak scenes that seem to defy even the lenient rules of the Bay Transformer universe. These are the ones that bug me.

One is when he's having tea with the little girl. Where exactly did he scan the tiny Autobot(?), that we've never seen before. And he did this since the last time he transformed somehow?

The other is right after he kills Wang, immediately after transforming from a flat screen TV. The question of how did he get into the middle of a crowded workspace in the very next scene notwithstanding, where did he find this copier to scan that apparently no one (or at least not that one guy) recognizes?

[CJones]

I learned that Shockwave has a huge ass mechanical Arrakis sandworm as a pet. This must have been an upgrade since the Shockwave I owned as a kid, that I didn't know about. That one turned into a gun and made cool beeping noises. At least it did until some neighbor kid broke it.

Still, I have to admit, Shockwave is one of the few Tranformers in these movies that is actually recognizable in his robot form, what with the one eye and a gun for an arm.

[Caribbean_Smurf]

I learned that mixing CGI versions of American presidents with real archive footage of American presidents was a bad idea.

I learned that a guy named ''Dutch'' would obviously be speaking GERMAN.

I learned it's OK to sacrifice a few thousand people and let a city be reduced to rubble just to pull off a lame ''haha we were not on the exploding rocket'' scheme that ultimately gave little tactical advantage.

[shodan]

i learned that the guy that played one of the most kick-ass pilots in sci-fi history is now being forced into transformers movies.
Also that michael bay invoked some sort of dark ritual to find the soul of Leonard Nimoy to force him to say "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" in this damned movie.

[CJones]

I learned that a guy named ''Dutch'' would obviously be speaking GERMAN.

Well, I don't know. If that's an intentional play on the fact that the word for German, in German, is Deutsch, then that's actually marginally clever. Hence the misnomer "Pennsylvania Dutch", who are actually of German decent, not Dutch.

That didn't even occur to me until you brought it up.

[stansimpson]

I learned that a guy named ''Dutch'' would obviously be speaking GERMAN.

Well, I don't know. If that's an intentional play on the fact that the word for German, in German, is Deutsch, then that's actually marginally clever. Hence the misnomer "Pennsylvania Dutch", who are actually of German decent, not Dutch.

That didn't even occur to me until you brought it up.

My grandfather was raised Pennsylvania Dutch (he still retains some of the language too!). I've known about this for nearly 30 years, and not till now did I make that connection. You don't usually question those things when you're young. The people are definitely not something that many people know even exist, so it never really comes up, yknow?  ::epic facepalm::  

[Trekker4747]

I learned that a building with a mostly destroyed section in the middle off it will just simply cause the upper floors to just lean a bit but, mostly, the structural integrity of the building will hold.

I learned there's room in the SRBs of the shuttle to hide several dozen robots and they can get there from the habitable areas of the shuttle; there's also still enough room left in them for them to still function as the rocket boosters for launch.

I learned you don't need to know anything about your female characters when you first meet them other than they have a nice ass.