The Wicker Man (2006 Remake)

[Variety of Cells]

Don't forget Newsies. 

[FordPrefect]

What I liked about the Dawn of the Dead remake was FAST MOVING ZOMBIES.   

What always annoyed me about zombie movies was, the zombies shuffled along so slowly, you could escape them by going no faster than grandma who power walks in the mall.   Now fast moving zombies added real terror.

Ha ha, I suppose I wasn't thinking about "terror," but it made the movie interesting, but it also made it a tough sell for me. It's like "your flesh is rotting away and your body is decomposing sort of, but man, the deader you get the faster you'll be"

Of course, this opens up the possibility for Zombie Olympics...

Exactly. For me it hurts the whole "suspension of disbelief" factor. It's enough of a stretch to have me believe that reanimated dead people are coming to eat the living, but the idea that people's rotten bodies are in better shape for running than they were when they were alive....Hmmm.

Shawn of the Dead is a great movie all around. In my opinion, it's probably the most realistic zombie movie I've seen too. Especially the ending.

*Glances at post title* Oh yeah, Wicker Man. That should be funny. 

[Goshzilla]

I don't think this movie would work as a riff trax. I just watched it after seeing those clips on youtube. And as funny as Nic Cage running around in a bear suit punching women is, this movie sucks. But I think the ending was a very fitting and should be what eventually happens to Mr. Cage. He has to be one of the worlds worst actors. I heard that when they made Ghost Rider, they had to go back in do more special effect because they figured a CG Ghost Rider was a better actor then a real Nic Cage.

I never felt Nic was a bad actor, its just that when he is miscast, he sticks out so much its hard not to notice that he shouldn't be there. Lords of War for example was a Nicolas Cage vehicle. It felt like the role was tailored specifically for him. It worked, it was a good movie and it didn't feel like some shallow exercise in entertainment.

Now take a movie like Wind Talkers, where Nic Cage is playing a hard edged marine. He is overacting in ways only someone like a Brain Atene could do. The movie wasn't good by any stretch of the imagination, but sheesh Nic really brought out the ridiculous in those scenes where he kills 20 japanese soldiers with one thomson machine gun round, and another where he has "flash backs" brought on by post dramatic stress.

In the case of Wicker Man, the original was meant to be a vehicle for Christopher Lee. I thought about that for a moment, and then thought about why this remake was made. I honestly don't understand why they had to do it. Wicker Man is unique because its incompetance on a high budget. I mean that scene where Nick wakes up from a second dream within a dream sequence and yells "god damn it" is just laughable. Along for the ride are the many underplayed plot holes that happen off and on throughout the whole thing(remember Terror from the Year 5000, the same thing). Of course the theatrical cut edited out the moment where his legs are broken with a mallet, the editors in their infinite wisdom decided upon a black screen and an audio overlap of Nic screaming "My legs, owwww."

Of course any movie as dumb as Wicker Man has an idiot plot device, you see Nic's character is apparently too dumb to let the washington state police handle a missing child case.

[Bob]

I cannot wait for this one   Of course, the MP3 track could be just Mike and Kevin laughing for 90 minutes.    The movie is THAT bad.

[macleod]

Yeah., if it was Mike Solo, he'd have to go it alone with Dis'

So Kevin's like a safety blanket for all the stupid we're about to see

[lamarre2012]

He has to be one of the worlds worst actors.

Oh, come on. Ever see Wild at Heart? Raising Arizona? Adaptation? Great films, and those are just three examples. Sure Cage might make some bad films, but he's a great actor. Don't hold the turkeys he has made against him.

Agreed.  For every awful movie he makes I think he makes 2 good ones.  Name any actor who hasn't made a bad movie. 

Christian Bale was in Shaft.  Point made. 

AND Reign of Fire. But part of being a happy, well-adjusted adult is learning to forgive. 

I actually liked Reign of Fire.  I thought the Star wars scene was really funny.  And Bale did a good job.  I thought the concept was kinda cool but I did agree that it would make and did make a good rifftrax.  I enjoyed the Matrix one too and I really like the whole trilogy.  Shaft is the only Bale movie I think was bad.  He's quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. 

All of those Nicolas Cage movies That you named are good movies. But they are good despite him. Name any good movie that he's in and I'll bet you that it would have been better if someone else were cast in the role. He can't act. The only movie I can remember that he acted a different then every other role he does was Raising Arizona. Other then that, whenever he's on screen you can just se in his eye's what's going through his head: "I'm acting, I'm acting, I'm acting, I'm acting"

Now the difference with Christian Bale is, I'm not talking about if the movies are bad. I'm talking about the actor in the movie. Granted I haven't seen Shaft, I mean come on, It's Shaft. I didn't even know he was in the movie. So I can't say whether or not he was horrible in it. But Nic Cage has been in some otherwise good movies, it's just that if anything, he makes them worse.

I'll name all the Nic Cage movies I like: Matchstick Men, 8MM, Lord of War, City of Angels, Bringing Out the Dead, The Rock, World Trade Center (this one he didn't do too bad in, but that's not saying much since he was trapped under a building the whole movie). All of these movies were good but could have been better if someone else were in them. Do you remeber the character he played in Fast Times at Ridgmont High? Well it seems like all the roles he plays are being acted by that character. If that makes sense. 

[macleod]

Well some bad actors just fall into the same mode no matter who they play

For example, Ben Affleck is always a prick...George Clooney is always a bigger, more arrogant prick

Kevin Costner just stares into space, while Cage just has psychoses

[Shinigami]

Well some bad actors just fall into the same mode no matter who they play

For example, Ben Affleck is always a prick...George Clooney is always a bigger, more arrogant prick

Kevin Costner just stares into space, while Cage just has psychoses

I like to watch Nicholas Cage movies and play "Spot the Cage-ism".  My favorite is the "snap fingers wildly in the air while yelling 'thinking THINKING!!'".

[gbeenie]

Well some bad actors just fall into the same mode no matter who they play

For example, Ben Affleck is always a prick...George Clooney is always a bigger, more arrogant prick

Kevin Costner just stares into space, while Cage just has psychoses

I like to watch Nicholas Cage movies and play "Spot the Cage-ism".  My favorite is the "snap fingers wildly in the air while yelling 'thinking THINKING!!'".

That made me giggle.   

[gbeenie]

What I liked about the Dawn of the Dead remake was FAST MOVING ZOMBIES.   

What always annoyed me about zombie movies was, the zombies shuffled along so slowly, you could escape them by going no faster than grandma who power walks in the mall.   Now fast moving zombies added real terror.

Ha ha, I suppose I wasn't thinking about "terror," but it made the movie interesting, but it also made it a tough sell for me. It's like "your flesh is rotting away and your body is decomposing sort of, but man, the deader you get the faster you'll be"

Of course, this opens up the possibility for Zombie Olympics...

Exactly. For me it hurts the whole "suspension of disbelief" factor. It's enough of a stretch to have me believe that reanimated dead people are coming to eat the living, but the idea that people's rotten bodies are in better shape for running than they were when they were alive....Hmmm.

>Pseudo-scientific Bullshit Film Geek Mode ON<

The argument could be made that, without the worry of injury that living people have to keep them from overexerting their bodies, zombies could theoretically run around, balls-out, all the time.

>Pseudo-scientific Bullshit Film Geek Mode OFF<

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

The argument could be made that, without the worry of injury that living people have to keep them from overexerting their bodies, zombies could theoretically run around, balls-out, all the time.

That actually kinda makes sense.

[macleod]

Hmm...yes, but then physics kinda determines that there is no work without energy...eventually they'd have to slow down...and they don't....ever...

[Nunyerbiz]

As far as I'm concerned, physics is kinda tossed out the window when dealing with zombies. I've watched a lot of zombie movies, but it's not my favorite genre and I usually don't revisit them. I could have very well missed the backstory that explained what turned them into zombies to begin with.... but... If they are infected with some virus/parasite or possessed by the devil or whatever the hell it might be... If it has the power to ANIMATE DEAD CORPSES, I'm not going to argue that this entity/virus/whatever can give the corpses sprinter like speed with marathon endurance. That doesn't seem terribly difficult to believe once you accept the ANIMATE DEAD CORPSES hurdle being crossed. Zombies stomachs could turn human brains into the ideal chemical combo of crystal meth and adrenaline for all I know.

[gbeenie]

Hmm...yes, but then physics kinda determines that there is no work without energy...eventually they'd have to slow down...and they don't....ever...

True, but that's an intractable problem with the concept of zombies, period.

[macleod]

Hmm...yes, but then physics kinda determines that there is no work without energy...eventually they'd have to slow down...and they don't....ever...

True, but that's an intractable problem with the concept of zombies, period.

Yeah, I suppose you have a point...that's kinda what I liked about 28 Days Later: they eventually starved to death