Rank the Activity of this Paranormal riff..

[ShadowDog]

Was I the only one who thought that, because the task of building audience sympathy with the characters was botched so terribly, that the movie actually had a happy ending?

LMFAO!  Hey, I was pretty happy with it, I know that.

[Darth Geek]

Was I the only one who thought that, because the task of building audience sympathy with the characters was botched so terribly, that the movie actually had a happy ending?

LMFAO!  Hey, I was pretty happy with it, I know that.

I was just happy that it ended.

[LucasM]

Thanks D.B. and George H, I wasn't sure if it seemed I was hijacking this thread (as it is supposed to be about the riffing, not debating the film and the critiques of those who disliked it I was responding to).  However, the rest of this post has nothing to do with the riffing either,  , so anyone not wishing to be 'distracted' can ignore it.  It does, however, have a little to do with Thrifty's, ShadowDog's and Darth Geek's 'happy ending' [no, not after a massage  ].

Late this afternoon I thought of an ending that might have kept this film from being "the rehash of every other cheap horror film" that it was, and might - just might - have made it worth the time invested.  My ending would've added maybe 5 minutes new footage (which hopefully they'd make time for by cutting 15 minutes of the 'nothing happening' time from earlier in the film  ).  [Just finished writing it out and it took a bit more words than anticipated (as usual  ).]

It would start the same as the theatrical cut, which, since I'm going to build on that, I'll have to spoiler the whole thing here, even tho 99% of it is my ending...

Douche follows her downstairs after the screams, she comes up carrying him, with both of them bloody and she throws him at the camera.  But in my version you hear a clear "snap" to his spine so there's no doubt he's completely gone, and this happens just as the camera starts to fry (seeing smoke through it at first, then pixels start to pop).

We then get a 'God's-eye view' (standard 3rd person camera, as in most films), with the words "Day 128" at the bottom.  She is standing in the living room of a completely different house, in front of a picture window where there is snow on the ground (so it is clear that she is in a totally different part of the country).  Only then do you start to see her 'shake off' the possession.  When she does, she is only slightly confused, and it becomes clear that she has no real understanding that things have drastically changed as she just starts to do a typical daily task.  Fade out...

Fade in... she is out on a date, where she's with another douchey guy.  He says, we've been going out for a while now, and then asks her about previous boyfriends and she says, "I've never had anyone special in my life until you," clearly believing it.  She says, "and I was wondering if you'd like to move in with me," then we see her face get 'slightly' posessed and the corner of her mouth turns up in a slight smile.  And we fade to black.  Film over.

What I was aiming for is that she is getting protected by the demon (wrapping up her previous life with the douche we saw, frying the camera record of her murdering him, and moving her far away before the cops could catch her), and also that the demon is acting - through her serial relationship/murders - to kill off douchey guys across the country.

Now to me, THAT 'culling the herd' would be a happy ending! 

[ShadowDog]

I like that, man.  Perhaps only because it dovetails in theme with a project I'm working on right now involving memories and who we actually are if they're taken away from us.  But I like that a lot.  That could have worked, and if they go that direction with the sequel it might actually be worth watching.

[Darth Geek]

So the boring story would just start over again? Besides, half the guys on this board have probably dated (or married) women who they thought were demons in disguise.

Sorry, but the only sequel I'd be interested in is the apocalyptic one where the demon is laying waste to large areas. Have something fucking HAPPEN for a change. And I doubt that will happen.

[stansimpson]

I like the new ending LucasM, but the problem would be...
...it would completely compromise the Blair Witch / Cloverfield first-person gimmick.  So, instead of doing a 3rd person camera, how about switching to a different first-person camera?  A highway patrol's dashboard cam.  The cop's driving down a snowy road in a place obviously hundreds of miles away, stops, gets out of the car.  He tries talking to her, but no response.  She shakes off the possession after a few more words from him.  She doesn't know where she is, etc.  The cop escorts her into the car and back to the station.

Switch to a different camera.  Day [I dunno... 300].  What's-her-name and a new douchey guy play with a new camera in bed.  It's their honeymoon.  They giggle and laugh.  They have the "no one special in my life until you" conversation.  They say g'night to the camera and then to each other with the camera still in her hands.  He leaves the screen, turns the light off and lays back down to sleep.  Moment of darkness until she switches the camera to night vision.  She does that demon smile thing.  Camera turns off.

The End!?!?!!??!!
It's basically the same concept but still retains the gimmick.  Whaddaya think?

I like that, man.  Perhaps only because it dovetails in theme with a project I'm working on right now involving memories and who we actually are if they're taken away from us.  But I like that a lot.  That could have worked, and if they go that direction with the sequel it might actually be worth watching.

Completely unrelated, but still, If you haven't, you really should check out the documentary "Uknown White Male".  It's that very idea unfolding in real life (and make sure you don't rip off "Memento").  Trailer spoiler'd for size:

Spoiler

[ShadowDog]

Cool, I'm gonna have to check out that documentary!  Thanks.

...it would completely compromise the Blair Witch / Cloverfield first-person gimmick. 

Wait a minute, was the Blair Witch sequel also a first person gimmick deal?  I thought it was a traditionally shot film?

[stansimpson]

Cool, I'm gonna have to check out that documentary!  Thanks.

...it would completely compromise the Blair Witch / Cloverfield first-person gimmick. 

Wait a minute, was the Blair Witch sequel also a first person gimmick deal?  I thought it was a traditionally shot film?

It was.  And it sucked.  It sucked bad.  The lesson?  When ya have a gimmick, don't stray away from that thing that makes you stand out from the other drivel.

[Moxobna]

Thoroughly, THOROUGHLY enjoyed this one. The movie itself hit that hard to find sweet spot of bad acting, terrible plot, and ridiculous setting, and the riffs were just excellent.

[CHF01]

Thoroughly, THOROUGHLY enjoyed this one. The movie itself hit that hard to find sweet spot of bad acting, terrible plot, and ridiculous setting, and the riffs were just excellent.

Hiliarous riff...the wife and I laughed the entire 80+ minutes. Some golden shit, man...

[Darth Geek]

Thoroughly, THOROUGHLY enjoyed this one. The movie itself hit that hard to find sweet spot of bad acting, terrible plot, and ridiculous setting, and the riffs were just excellent.

Hiliarous riff...the wife and I laughed the entire 80+ minutes. Some golden shit, man...

That is how you polish a turd. Gold plate it first.

[LucasM]

Again, to anyone wishing to read only specifically-thread-Subject-related posts [read in your best New York Irish cop voice]: move along... nothing to see here....

I like that, man.  Perhaps only because it dovetails in theme with a project I'm working on right now involving memories and who we actually are if they're taken away from us.  But I like that a lot.  That could have worked, and if they go that direction with the sequel it might actually be worth watching.

What is the project (if you can say)?  Film, or written?  With my having been a neuropsychologist trained in treating emotional trauma survivors, and with having to retire because of head injuries (which in themselves mess with memory formation), I'm interested.

On your compliments, thanks.  I thought that it would have made it a bit more tolerable, almost watchable.  But for the sequel I tend to agree with...

So the boring story would just start over again? Besides, half the guys on this board have probably dated (or married) women who they thought were demons in disguise.

Sorry, but the only sequel I'd be interested in is the apocalyptic one where the demon is laying waste to large areas. Have something fucking HAPPEN for a change. And I doubt that will happen.

I wasn't saying we'd actually have to watch things "start over", just that we'd know that aw, screw, I have to spoiler three little words because they overlap with the real film...  more douchy assholes die.  I do agree with you about a sequel, Darth.  I couldn't tolerate a film like this one again.  It would get to be too much like a Groundhog Day, but not enjoyable.    But really, for 'demons' the precedents have been for more small scale 'personal' devastation.  For the large stuff we need to go to a Godzilla, Cloverfield, or Imoogie or something like that.  Demons tend more toward low lights and Barry White albums for their devastation. 

I like the new ending LucasM, but the problem would be...
...it would completely compromise the Blair Witch / Cloverfield first-person gimmick.  So, instead of doing a 3rd person camera, how about switching to a different first-person camera?  A highway patrol's dashboard cam.  The cop's driving down a snowy road in a place obviously hundreds of miles away, stops, gets out of the car.  He tries talking to her, but no response.  She shakes off the possession after a few more words from him.  She doesn't know where she is, etc.  The cop escorts her into the car and back to the station.

Switch to a different camera.  Day [I dunno... 300].  What's-her-name and a new douchey guy play with a new camera in bed.  It's their honeymoon.  They giggle and laugh.  They have the "no one special in my life until you" conversation.  They say g'night to the camera and then to each other with the camera still in her hands.  He leaves the screen, turns the light off and lays back down to sleep.  Moment of darkness until she switches the camera to night vision.  She does that demon smile thing.  Camera turns off.

The End!?!?!!??!!
It's basically the same concept but still retains the gimmick.  Whaddaya think?

I really like the idea of the ... oh hell, here we go again... 
cop's dashboard camera... but there are two problems I see with that in the story.  Like you mentioned, one is that any cop that found someone that out of it, they'd take them in for blood testing for pills or something since they wouldn't find alcohol on the spot, but that would slow the film down (more).  The other is that in my thinking, the demon would be out to protect her, and so allowing anything to actually appear on any real record where she could possibly stand out and be recognized would be counter to that.

And the filming the new couple's wedding night sounds good (presuming the details are extras on the DVD  ), but I think it pushes the hand-held thing too far by that point.

Actually, I think that by the shift from hand-held to the 'God viewpoint' of most films would actually annoy people less than maintaining it.  I never saw (or had any interest in seeing) Blair Witch, but knowing it existed, and having seen Cloverfield for the riffing was more than enough hand-held-camera films for me.  The shift from starting as a hand-held and going to 'God view' would make the film stand out, and it could potentially make it more believable.  That, because with my original thoughts...  Crap, not again!  once the original ending was altered so that he died, but she didn't, the camera was getting fried, so the film's viewers would ultimately realize that they had not been watching the 'actual documentation of events', they were already seeing from a 'God's-eye-view', as there was nothing left of the original record.  [Part of the 'turning the 1st person filming' on its head that my ending was working toward.]

Aggghhhhh... I just realized how much time and effort I've spent thinking about this turd!   

Well... at least by having to spoiler most of this it doesn't take up much room in this thread its only marginally related to unless someone chooses to open it out. 

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread...

[Edward J Grug III]

Don't think it was a great choice for a riff, nothing happening on screen lead to not a lot of note-worthy riffs.

[Darth Geek]

Don't think it was a great choice for a riff, nothing happening on screen lead to not a lot of note-worthy riffs.

I was very doubtful at first, too. But I did enjoy the riff, it's just one I don't see myself rewatching.

[CM916]

My god what a boring peice of crap! (and I usually love boring peices of crap) I'm officially moving Paranormal Activity up to #3 on my all-time worst movies list behind just Hamlet (as seen on mst3k) and Monster-a-gogo. I give the riffing a 10 because without it, this would have been the first movie I ever walked out on in the first five minutes. It's just painful.