RiffTrax Forum
 

What Paranormal crap did you learn?!

Started by RVR II, February 11, 2010, 10:55:22 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Moleman

I learned that if you're afraid of something coming inside your room, by NO MEANS should you close the door.

I learned that a single hand-held camera can provide two completely different camera angles.

I learned that if you want to put together a collection of evidence of paranormal activity you should edit it like crazy because no one watching can be bothered to press the fast forward button themselves.   Also when you edit, leave in random boring conversations that have no relevance to the issue at hand.

I learned that ALWAYS even if its meant to be a realistic looking horror film, the film MUST end in a demonic looking thing making a vicious scary motion to the camera just before it ends.

Oh and of course, if there is no doubt there is some kind of ghost/spirit/demon haunting you, you should definitely do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to piss it off.

Trekker4747

I learned that when installing insulation into your home you should just spread it around hap-hazardly around your attic floor without even bothering to make sure to cover the entire floor. Also, keep discarded carpet in your attic. Because, you know, you never know.

I learned that a $15 board game made by Parker Brothers can communicate with evil demons. I also learned said evil demons hate these board games enough to burst them into flames.

I also learned Mike screams like a 12-year-old girl with strep throat.  ;)


Bob

I learned that owning a dog would be helpful for late night house patrols.

I learned that Psychics tuck tail and run more than the french army.

I also learned you can own a giant house in San Diego and not have any means of income.


Trekker4747

Oh! I also learned that a 20-something couple needs two extra fully appointed bedrooms with queen-sized beds.

Darth Geek

I learned that a chick with boobs like hers still has no better options than Micah, the yuppy version of Chuck Pierce (the string beany kid in Boggy Creak 2).


D.B. Barnes

Quote from: Bob on February 13, 2010, 07:04:29 PM
I also learned you can own a giant house in San Diego and not have any means of income.

What are you talking about? Micah is a very successful day trader. So much so that he retired and became a full-time amateur videographer.
VIVA IL ESORDIO DEL DIABETE ADULTO DUCE!!!

Road_Element

Ive learn that you should never give your audience LSD before the showing of your movie. I mean how else do you explain those stupid commericals. There wasnt anything remotely scary about this movie.   Unless you find watching mold growing on bread scary.

Bob

Quote from: D.B. Barnes on February 13, 2010, 10:46:27 PM
Quote from: Bob on February 13, 2010, 07:04:29 PM
I also learned you can own a giant house in San Diego and not have any means of income.

What are you talking about? Micah is a very successful day trader. So much so that he retired and became a full-time amateur videographer.

I also forgot about her fishing lure business too..... I stand corrected.

ScottotD

Quote from: Courtney on February 12, 2010, 08:49:33 AM
Quote from: Trekker4747 on February 12, 2010, 03:42:27 AM
Quote from: ShadowDog on February 11, 2010, 09:34:14 PM
Quote from: Trekker4747 on February 11, 2010, 05:06:30 PM
I learned that interestingly comely young women

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought she was kinda hawt.  I get so sick of seeing Hollywood stick insects sucking up all the movie roles so we never get to spend an entire movie with a baby who got back.  ROWL!

She was a perfectly normal/average looking young woman.  Maybe a bit of "heft" to her, but overall I think she was a good-looking woman with nice knockers.  (There, I said it.)



You said it and my boyfriend said it countless times  throughout the whole movie. More like Paranormal Boobtivity, amirite? *high five*

I learned that I have a theory: anyone else think that people around these parts have a tendency to smacktalk a movie just because it gets riffed? I realize that some people just flat out don't like a movie and that taste is incredibly subjective, but it seems sometimes that around here it's similar to hipster backlash (suddenly hating a movie once it's popular) but more along the lines of sucking up to the riffers because they didn't like it (or seemingly didn't like it). It happened with Drag to Hell and a bunch of others. There seems to be a need to declare "This is the worst movie of all time! Glad you're putting it in its place!" and sometimes it's a bit disingenuous.

I've put next to no thought in this. I like to think that comes across very clearly in the above paragraph.

I tried to count the amount of times a few people here used the words 'worst movie ever' and lost interest around the point I noticed it was about once a month.

I learned that shaky cam = bad and annoying but also still cam = bad and annoying, perhaps some people should go back to radio plays.
Scottotd on Instagram

"A thing I like that there was no chance would ever continue until recently is now continuing but it doesn't meet my exact personal specifications so fuck this"

- how I read any complaint about MST3k (or Star Wars or Ghostbusters)

Bob

Quote from: Road_Element on February 14, 2010, 03:48:59 AM
Ive learn that you should never give your audience LSD before the showing of your movie. I mean how else do you explain those stupid commericals. There wasnt anything remotely scary about this movie.   Unless you find watching mold growing on bread scary.

I would really like to know what scenes people were watching to illicit all that audience reaction.    Maybe it was the dailies from "The Room"?

RoninFox

Quote from: Bob on February 14, 2010, 05:39:37 AM
Quote from: Road_Element on February 14, 2010, 03:48:59 AM
Ive learn that you should never give your audience LSD before the showing of your movie. I mean how else do you explain those stupid commericals. There wasnt anything remotely scary about this movie.   Unless you find watching mold growing on bread scary.

I would really like to know what scenes people were watching to illicit all that audience reaction.    Maybe it was the dailies from "The Room"?

I think it was the trailer for Alvin and Chipmunks 2
RoninFoxTrax Presents Rocky

gum.co/RFTrocky

ShadowDog

Quote from: Bob on February 14, 2010, 05:39:37 AM
I would really like to know what scenes people were watching to illicit all that audience reaction.    Maybe it was the dailies from "The Room"?

LMFAO!  Nice
"Did she just say Chipping?"

Thrifty

Quote from: Courtney on February 12, 2010, 09:11:04 AMYour hatred seemed genuine (and dark. We may need to look into hypnosis to see if you were bad touched by a CGI goat in your childhood).

Interesting observation.  I actually do have an inexplicable phobia of goats.  I stumbled out of a tent at the state fair last year, and found myself standing directly next to a goat.  I was almost too scared to move, but my fear of goats was stronger and I slowly inched my way out of there.

Also, the smell of strawberries terrifies me.

Thrifty

Quote from: Road_Element on February 14, 2010, 03:48:59 AM
Ive learn that you should never give your audience LSD before the showing of your movie. I mean how else do you explain those stupid commericals. There wasnt anything remotely scary about this movie.   Unless you find watching mold growing on bread scary.

Mold is terrifying.

ShadowDog

Maybe a strong fear of goats is why that moron in Drag Me To Hell missed so badly in swinging at something that was right the hell in front of him!
"Did she just say Chipping?"