What truth have you learned?

[Just Some Guy]

I have learned that the FBI has the most incompetent inquiry board ever.  People find a bomb in a building next to the one being searched due to a bomb threat, evacuate the building saving hundreds of lives but can't quite get the last five people out of a twenty story office building in twelve minutes?  They're the obvious scapegoats and certainly not public heroes.  A federal agent vanishes from an ambulance call where her partner is shot and turns up three days later naked in the middle of the antarctic next to a newly formed mile across hole?  Well those details are far to unbelievable to be investigated so we'll just bury the attempted murder and kidnapping.

Oh and this must be the most public secret conspiracy ever.  They might as well put up neon signs detailing their involvement.

[TheUnabeefer]

I learned that no matter where you are, you're also in North Texas.

[Pak-Man]

I learned that bees are content to spend hours- close to days, clinging out of sight inside your collar.

[Imper1um]

The FBI is on standby in North Texas just in case an Alien Outbreak Occurs.

Also, if you ever want to get out of anything, just remember your Dryer's Lint Screen needs cleaning. 

[Tyrant]

I learned that the best way to avoid being caught by a shadow government is to hang out in the same alleyway night after night.

[Lemming Howard]

I learned...Oh how in the hell did he get all the way to the South Pole?!  Come on!


Also if you feel a little sting when moving in for a kiss the tiny thing with wings might not be Cupid,

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

I want to learn about what happened to his men!!

[ebeth]

I learned that if you talk in low monotones people think you're sexy

[Darth Geek]

_{T h a t s o u n d s l i k e a g o o d i d e a}

IT'S NOT WORKING!

[Darth Geek]

I learned that the truth is not only out there, it is pointlessly complicated and stupid.

I learned that ignorance is bliss.

Seriously, why would aliens with advanced technology that can travel through space need our help to take over the planet?

[Bob]

I learned that the truth is not only out there, it is pointlessly complicated and stupid.

I learned that ignorance is bliss.

Seriously, why would aliens with advanced technology that can travel through space need our help to take over the planet?

Well, as we have learned from Alien films, they melt when water or salt water hits them, so if they ever do decide to take over a plant comprised mostly of water, they need someone to stock up on the Sham-Wows for them (http://www.shamwow.com/)

[Indomitus]

I learned that mmblmmph mmble mumble mumble mmmblmblmblmbl murble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble.

[MyStars!]

I learned that secret conspiracy black helicopters only search for people running in corn fields - once you get out of the corn field, they just go away and leave you alone.

[RoninFox]

I learned that mmblmmph mmble mumble mumble mmmblmblmblmbl murble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble.

WHAT?

I learned that you can force a title to make sense if you just repeat it a couple times in the dialog.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS MEYN?!?!?!