Dragon Wars

[Junkyard]

Ugh. Looked over the trailer again, and with the understaning that this was made overseas, I saw part of what was wrong with it:
It has all the cliche's we're trying to abandon in the USA. (Micheal Bay being the exception.)
I saw the loud, wisecracking black man already in the trailer. This could be just plain painful.

[RhodesWatson]

Worse than Eragon? That could be quite a challenge.

[Junkyard]

Not... not as much as you'd think. Sadly.

[RhodesWatson]

riddle me this Junkyard... how could it be any worse than Eragon? Please tell me!

[GregMcduck]

Answer: Dragon Wars

[RhodesWatson]

Well perhaps so but I want details dammit!

[mrbasehart]

Well perhaps so but I want details dammit!

Hayden Christensen could've played the kid.   

[RhodesWatson]

Hayden Christensen could've played the kid.   

Okay! Okay! Good! Anybody else?

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Hayden Christensen could've played the kid.   

Okay! Okay! Good! Anybody else?

Jake Lloyd could've played the kid.   

[Troodon]

I don't know, I found this movie quite entertaining, though probably not for the reasons the moviemakers intended.  For those making the Eragon comparison, it's definitely worse from a quality standpoint, but far more entertaining.  Just a warning, don't try to make sense out of anything you're seeing, especially not the convoluted backstory, or you'll give yourself a headache.  For example, I never quite got why the giant snake was continuously chasing Sarah, destroying everything and everyone in its path to get to her, just to constantly roar in her face without actually attacn its apparent objective.  It would always chase her just fast enough to stay in her sights but would never catch up to her, whether she be driving or just running, and if she ever stop in one place, it would just roar in her face.  I guess it couldn't just kill her then, maybe the ceremonial ritual was needed first, but why couldn't have just grabbed her and save the villain's army a lot of trouble?

For the evil general's decalration that he'd destroy everying in his path to get to Sarah, he certaintly didn't seem to be taking much of a direct route, concerning himself more with fighting off the Army.  I love how when it's shown the the Army's heavy weaponry isn't proving effective the LAPD are still hanging around trying to shoot the misc. reptilian thingys with their service pistols.  Shows dedication.

The climactic battle with the evil giant snake and the good giant snake (can tell it's the good one, becasue the reporter said so, even though there's no logical way he's know, besides it's a slightly lighter color) features mostly the two snakes roaring at each other over and over and over... occasionally they may actually make an attack.  Don't want to spoil the ending, but couldn't help thinking a certain character's supposedly noble act would have seemed far more noble had it been done much earler...

Anyway can't say I wasn't entertained.  It's a serious mess of a movie, but a very entertaining one.  Would recommend it for the spectacle if nothing else.

When it comes out on DVD, can make a great driniking game out of it... take a shot whenever one of the characters wakes up suddenly from a dream, or when the giant snake roars in someone's face, especially Sarah's.

[robertraur]

Just got back from this little gem of a movie and all I got to say is Wow!  Stop reading this post, grab your closest friends and go to the theater to watch this utter piece of crap.  Have you ever sat through a movie and thought what Mike would say if he got his grubby fingers on it?  Trust me, you will be giving him some helpful notes on this bad boy.

I say this with all due sincerity:  Dragon Wars (or D-War for you guys that want the gold rings on your fist) will be the worst movie you will see this year, but in a good way.  I have seen some really good comedies this year (Knocked Up, Superbad, and Blades of Glory), but all will bow down to the marvelous piece of crap that is D-War.

Where to begin.... 

• it's a Korean movie with American actors, and its fun to watch the long shots of downtown Korea substitute for LA
• The wholly unnecessary backstory that turns into a double back story (difficult feat to maneuver)
• Robert Forester plays a 500 year old Korean
• you will be in the edge of your seat when Darryl from "The Office" starts looking for a girl, in LA, named Sarah that has a shoulder tattoo
• Dragon-like Lizards with huge cannons on their back
• The lack of a Dragon until the last 10 minutes

And the list goes on and on.  Point, laugh, and sarcastically comment all throughout this movie.  You will not only entertain yourself, you will also entertain any unsuspecting patrons that thought this was the second coming of the Host.

[Kzinistzerg]

I love how you say "downtown korea" as if korea were just a city, hehe...

[Sideswipe]

I love how you say "downtown korea" as if korea were just a city, hehe...

BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

[Crazy_88s]

• The lack of a Dragon until the last 10 minutes

Whoa whoa.... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! 

[robertraur]

Hmmm, yea.  Being an ugly american I stick by my Downtown Korea statement. 

And yea, there are a bunch of lizards/Dinosaurs until the last 10 minutes.