Matrix Riffoff Fan Submission Thread

[mrbakasan]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?)
[Keanu voice: "He said your cookies suck."]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?)
[Oracle: "He wouldn't know a good cookie if it bit him on the ass."]

I thought this exchange was particularly funny. 

[Dr Z]

Hello all, 1st time poster here long time fan. Here is my humble entry ....

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [A young Uri Geller practices his craft]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [I give you the spoon Excalibur!]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [However we do have some sporks.]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [(Yoda voice) Bend the

spoon you cannot!]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [(Keanu) I see a metro-sexual in the spoon.]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [Strip down to your undies and pee in this cup]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [(Announcer voice) Tonight! Keanu Reeves joins Julia Child in her celebrity Kitchen]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [BANGO-WANGO-ZI-TANGO!]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [(Oracle) Baking my special pot brownies]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) (Keanu)[Well I was planning on bending it with my new spoon powers.]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [Well at least cuter than that creepy bald kid]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [(Oracle) After all you were in Point Break]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [(Keanu) Because you like pretty, young, effeminate men?]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [True king of the Jews?]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [(Announcer voice) Balls to Bones, the wacky new game by    Parker Brothers]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [(Oracle) Nope, no soul there.]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [(Oracle) Your hands, they?re soft like a lady?s.]


01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [Like all the money on the back end and a contract for 2 sequels]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [(Keanu) said you were a spooky old hag.]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [(Oracle) He lost all his hair when I prophesized your coming.]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [(Oracle) Sans Morpheus, minus Morpheus, sin Morpheus. Geez, do I need to say it in Hawaiian?]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [(Oracle) Even if you are dumb as a rock]

[Hank]

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [Looks like Charlie Brown became a Buddhist]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [I?m not gonna eat with it after that!]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [Well, can I at least get a spork?]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [Oh yeah, I get, HUNH?!]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [heh-heh. Pretty.]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [Not if I see her first. ZING!  Here?s your ?no spoon? back.]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [Did he just walk onto the set of Good Times?]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [She?s named after a dog?]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [Uh, I think you?re in the wrong room for that. Oh?]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [Probably. Bull, china shop and all.]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [How do you think I got in this movie?]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [Why thank y- HEY!]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [Because he hates me?]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [Well, I?m A one.]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [Aaaaawkward.]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [Great teeth, clean ears?We?re sure to win Best In Show!]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [Here?s the house, the garage and PTUI, the (swimming) pool.]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [I knew I should have washed them before I came here.]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [actually bought K-Fed?s new album]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [He?ll never get over Cowboy Curtis]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [What am I, chopped liver?!]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [But does he believe in life after love?]

[Sharktopus]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?)
[Keanu voice: "He said your cookies suck."]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?)
[Oracle: "He wouldn't know a good cookie if it bit him on the ass."]

I thought this exchange was particularly funny. 

Thanks, MrB. I'm pretty proud of that one. It walks that fine line between clever and stupid. Kinda like me.

[Steve-O]

Wow, I'm very impressed with all the quality entries.  This scene struck me as particularly challenging to riff, especially towards the end, so it's been really fun to see how you all worked through it.

Anyway, here's my dumb entry.  Based on the relative succinctitude of the winners, it seems that I over-wrote it a bit.  Or, possibly, it might be complete shit.  You never can tell with comedy.

Oh, well.  At least I'm good at puzzles. 



01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) You know, few people are aware that Brian Clean experimented with cutlery repair in his youth, before settling on a career in household cleansing.

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [nasal, olde timey magician voice; think Jon Lovitz as the Master Thespian] If you will kindly inspect the spoon sir, you will see that it is a perfectly normal kitchen utensil.  No trickery or amateurish CGI involved.

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [mock annoyance at this obviously false proclamation] Well, what is that spoon shaped thing, then?  A tiny, metal snowshoe?

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) Keanu: [emotionless and deadpan] "So... the spoon... is me?? [inspects spoon more closely] ?Well, I guess that explains why it has my face on it."

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) Keanu: [slightly more emotion, but not much] "Ahhhh!  My spine!"

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) Keanu: "Me?? [looks at spoon] ?Or the spoon?? [blinks and lowers spoon, clearly baffled]  ?Wait..."

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [as Neo pushes aside the love beads] The Oracle lives in Greg Brady's attic?  Oh, never mind.  It?s just the Brady kitchen.

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) Dammit!  I only needed B-10.

01:12:21   ("Not quite what you were expecting, right?")  I was expecting Ann B. Davis.

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [pause a bit so there?s a break between the last line and this one] Whatever she?s cooking, I sure hope she doesn?t need a spoon to eat it.  [slight pause, then, half-embarrassed to have to be explaining this joke] ?cause? y?know? there is none.

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) Honestly, isn?t there only so baked a noodle can get?

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) Boy, I sure hope her insight is better than her eyesight.

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) It took her a full minute to figure that out?  Pffft, some Oracle.

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) The other databases were busy?

01:13:46   (??It means, ?Know Thyself.?)  I guess the crafts store was all out of ?Kiss the Cook.?

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [bemused] ?Balls to bones??  I have no idea what kind of "love" she?s talking about, but count me out.

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) Apparently, it has been foretold that ?The One? will have good flossing habits and only moderate unsightly ear wax buildup.

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Your life line is deep and strong, but? Good lord, this career line is a mess!  ?Something?s Gotta Give??  ?Constantine??  Surely The One would have enough dignity to reject a script once in a while.

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [Neo looks at his hands, consternated] Keanu: ?Oh come on? ?The Devil?s Advocate? wasn?t that bad.?

01:15:02   (?Who knows??) Keanu: [still looking at his hands] ?Oh, there?s ?Sweet November.??  [Resigned, but amused in spite of himself.] ?She?s right.?

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [pityingly, as if shaking your head with a sad smile] What a sap.

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [The Oracle, who has been talking to her ashtray for the last thirty seconds, appears somewhat surprised that Neo is still in the room.] Oh, crap, did I say that out loud?

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) Much the way Druids believe that Yew trees are sentient.

[Sharktopus]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [The Oracle, who has been talking to her ashtray for the last thirty seconds, appears somewhat surprised that Neo is still in the room.] Oh, crap, did I say that out loud?

Nice.

[Mr. Schlitz]

Well, crap....

Here's mine.

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon)   [Spoon bending? Next he?ll impress Neo with the old pencil up the nose trick.]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo)   [Kid, taunting: ?Bet you can?t do it.?    Neo: ?Can to?gimmie that.?]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?)   [Neo: ?Stop, you?re scaring me.?]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?)  [Neo: ?Can?t I just hang it on my nose instead??]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.)   [Flatware?s looking a little flaccid there, Neo.]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?)   [Neo, startled: ?I have great erections?! Oh.?]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen)    [?Hi, I?m here to pick up the stuff for the virtual bake sale??]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?)   [Neo, with Ted-like stoner inflection: ?Excellent!?]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?)     [*Low, groaning fart sound as she gets off stool*]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??)   [She must be baking those funny brownies again.]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?)  [Oracle: ?Slip into this leopard print thong and scrub my floors.?]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?)  [Oracle, seductively: ?You?ll do juuuuuuust fine??]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??)   [Neo, nervously: ?Why do you have a couch in your kitchen??]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??)   [Neo: ?Oh, man?I am gonna kill Morpheus!?]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?)  [Neo, whispers to his groin as he looks down: ?Hide!?]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?)   [Neo: ?Please don?t ask me to cough.?]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers)   [Neo: ?I?d really feel more comfortable if you?d put back on your oven mitts.?]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?)  [Yeah: A shower.]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?)  [Neo: ?Are those Snickerdoodles??]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?)  [Oracle: ?You know, he started loosing his hair when he was sixteen??]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [Oracle: ?You really are a complete dumbass, aren?t you??]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?)   [Yeah, but he also believes in spoons.]

[Tarantulas]

Mr. Schlitz, I love your beer.

[estwald]

Big props to the winners. I laughed big at "This face intentionally left blank." From the ones posted today, I enjoyed these:
Hank:

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [But does he believe in life after love?]

and

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [Great teeth, clean ears?We?re sure to win Best In Show!]

and TiminKC's

01:13:08  ("You're cuter than I thought.")
--  (As Oracle)  "Want to hit the early-bird dinner at Ponderosa?"

Here's my own.

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [All right, I?m giving Grape Nuts one more chance.]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [?They?re having a vacant stare-off?]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [Ahh, it?s the old ?taste the soup? joke.]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [This kid never got over being rejected by the Dalai Lama search committee.]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [(Imitation of Keanu?s ?F?B?.I?.? from Point Break) C?.G?..I?.]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [And then mister it is naptime.]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [(Neo, to himself) Kid smelled like talcum.]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [(Relieved) Thought you were Sylvia Plath.]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [(In an ?mmm mm good? tone) More Tibetan, British albinos!]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [(In an ?Isn?t it obvious?? tone) Um, no. ? not without the verbal prompt? ]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [(Still thinking about the vase) It?s fairly straightforward.]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [Oh hey, she is an oracle!]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [She?s a rhetorical oracle.]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [Do you make bath time lots of fun?]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [(Neo, self doubt) Is she referring to my neuticles?]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [Wow, he even feels like corkboard?]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [Well? I?m going to prescribe Ritalin just in case.]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [Actually that?s just his normal expression.]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [He caught me knowing myself in the bathroom.]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [Only fat guy in the future.]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [(In a ?You didn?t know?? tone) He?s been accepted at Tanglewood.]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [I? may have told him to.]

[BoboBriggs]

I wish I had known about this contest sooner than 2 hours before the deadline. I found the thing by accident through Google. I never saw the Contest thing on the side on the front page all the times I came here. But i gave it a shot anyways. I remember Joel saying many many years ago (I think on NPR it was. Along with Mike), that the immediate impulse is usually the strongest. So I pretty much went with that.

Still, it's amazing how many other people come up with the same things. I mean things like the Bingo stuff and Cowboy Curtis isnt suprising at all. But the Spork thing is kinda weird. How so many people had that same sort of immediate reaction. What does that say about us?


01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [Singing -  Spoon Boy! Come together with your Spoons! Spoon Meeeee!]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) ["Loose something, brah?"]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) ["Only the Spork."]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [Keanu, it means "Like the Contortionist."]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) ["Now let's see if I can make one triumphant Knork!"]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [Little hand says it's time to rock and roll.]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [Punk. "Chosen One" Punk.]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) ["-pheus was his Name-O"]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) ["The last chosen one, that is."]         

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [One hundred percent pure dope.]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) ["In that newborn mice pinkies are cute."]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [Keanu, it means "Like the Dim Bulb."]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) ["To bake my noodle?"]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) ["...hundred percent pure chosen?"]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) ["Kiwis to Cartilidge."]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) ["..sssome."]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [One hundred percent pure callouses.]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) ["Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K."]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) ["...owes me five bucks."]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) ["...can't get past he whole Cowboy Curtis thing."]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [She just said without him they are lost!]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [One hundred percent pure Neo believer.]

About 12 Keanu references too, which just might be more than the guy who won the ?Whoa?-bel prize even. And I figured for sure that would have me screwed. Maybe I shoulda went with more Bill and Ted and less Point Break.  

[Pak-Man]

Less than a day later, after 2 weeks of anxiety and fear of rejection ultimately leading to that very rejection, one question now rests in my mind: So, when's the next one?

[demtation]

Congrads, winners! Lots of good submissions... Here was mine:

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [The master expects me to stir his Tang with this?!?]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [Try freebasing? Everybody?s doing it!]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [?And the spork is still up for debate]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [If only ?the bends? had taken out Neo before ?Point Break?]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [♫Just a spoonful of Keanu helps intelligence go down♫]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [?And strip down ?cause she?ll want to inspect your oracle.]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [Crossing the threshold by himself again, I see]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [But you can call me Miss Cleo Sr.]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [The turkey-timer?s gonna pop any second now]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [Oh, his noodle was baked before his first excellent adventure]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [Despite getting your outfit from Penny?s pallbearer collection]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [How dare thou pass judgment on my apparent luminosity!]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [You pay handsomely to have your bunions pumiced?]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [The one as in, the setup AND the punch line?]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [Otherwise known as the fruit bowl?]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [Now turn your head and cough?]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [You?d have better luck with the ladies if you waxed these!]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [Maybe Dogstar?s elusive record deal]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [?Does a spot-on Vicki Lawrence. It?s an absolute riot!]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [Everyone keeps calling him Cowboy Curtis? It hurts his feelings]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, without him??) [He?s the only one who can work the toilet snake]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [But then, he also still believes in spoons?]

[Doug]

(Offers handshake to my riff-brother, "The Spoony One", who also devised a jug-band riff!)
-----
01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [It's the Little
Buddha!  So, Keanu's roles are coming back to haunt
him.... GOOD.]

01:11:07    (Kid holds up spoon to eye) [Und that's
how ve make ze monocle from ze spoon!]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [Join me in some
hallucinogens, won't you?]

01:11:23    ("That's impossible.") [Well, it's
impossible for YOUR girly hands, Keanu!]

01:11:30    ("What truth?") [That it's a trick spoon I
picked up at MAGIC JOE'S!]

01:11:31   (There is no spoon.) [It's an ultramodern
FORK.... It's the in thing!]

01:11:42   (It is only yourself.) [OK, but I don't have
to put my feet behind my head, do I?]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [The kid's outacting
Keanu, and he's only a reflection in the spoon!]

01:11:58   (The Oracle will see you now.) [Just so you
know, this spoon is NOT
a metaphor for my sexual problems!]

01:12:01    (Neo looks back at spoon) [But I was
having fun with my spoon!]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [It's the refrigerator
magnets:  They're taking over!  DisembAudio:  Calm
down, Mike]

01:12:16   (Youre the Oracle? Bingo!) [Is my NAME-O!]

01:12:21    ("Not quite what you were expecting,
right?) [Well, I was disappointed there weren't more
SPOONS.]

01:12:22    (Neo looks down.) [Maybe one of those
drawers has a SPOON in it.]

01:12:24   (Almost done) [Baking takes CONSTANT
VIGILANCE!]

01:12:53    ("How did you know?") [It's a trick vase.
I got it from MAGIC JOE'S.  Did you see the spoon?]

01:13:02   (.I hadnt said anything?) [I would have
broken it.  A vase killed my father!]

01:13:08   (Youre cuter than I thought.) [Of course, I
thought you'd be Steve Buscemi....]

01:13:18   (Not too bright though.) [That's our Keanu!]

01:13:24   (brought you to see me?) [Uhhhhhhh, yeaaahh,
oh, I know that.  Uhhhh, who's Morpheus, again?]

01:13:33   (Do you think youre the one?) [THRILL as he
attempts BRAIN ACTIVITY!]

01:13:47    ("...means Know Thyself") [I think I now
know less than when I came in.  Thanks, lady!]

01:13:55    ("...just like being in love") [in love
with a COOKIE-BAKING OLDER WOMAN.... So, kiss me, you
fool!]

01:14:02   (Balls to bones.) [You're trying to seduce
me..., aren't you, Mrs. Oracle?]

01:14:15   (Open your mouth, say ahhhh. Ahhh.) [You had
your tonsils out?  Too bad.  We're really looking for
a TONSILED hero.... Send in the next guy on your way
out.]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neos hands in hers) [I see a
tall man, all in black.  But I kid....]

01:14:42    ("...you already know what I'm going to
tell you")  [Well, duh, I read the script!]

01:14:46    (Neo looks at hands) [So, um, my hands are
no good, then?]

01:14:54   (like youre waiting for something.) [A better
script?  Hah, like I'd get one of those!]

01:14:58    (Neo pauses.) [So, I'm not the One, then?
Maybe I could take up SPOON PLAYING in a jug band!]

01:15:10   (Morpheus. He, ah.) [...told me a version of
The Aristocrats that was HILARIOUS!]

01:15:18   (Poor Morpheus.) [He actually believed me
when I told him you're the One.  Just too GULLIBLE!]

01:15:28   (What do you mean, Without him?) [Without
Laurence Fishbourne, this film would never have been
made!  _HE_ has TALENT!]

01:15:39   (Morpheus believes in you, Neo.) [The FOOL!]
-----
P.S.  I apologize to the excellent Mr. Fishburne for misspelling his name.
It was strictly inadvertent.

[Justin]

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [Michael Stipe!  Oh, wait, it?s an 8-year-old albino monk.  My mistake.]

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [Ah, yes.  That?s the very spoon the Wachowski Brothers use to feed religious symbolism to their audience.]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [There is, however, fudge.  I?m not sure why.]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [(As Keanu) ?Hey, how come you get to read off cue-cards??]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [(As Spoon) ?Aaaggh!  I?ll never tell you where the Dish is!  Never!?]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [(As Neanderthal Keanu) ?Huh?  But...spoon.?]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [Surely his spoon-bending abilities will be absolutely indispensable to the resistance.]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [That?s what?s more entertaining than this movie, playing Bingo!]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [(As the Wachowskis) ?So when we reveal this all-knowing god-like Oracle character in our kung-fu sci-fi movie, how should we represent it?? ?Well, how about this?  Do you by any chance remember Grandma??]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [(As Keanu, until his shot ends) ?Duhhhhhhhhhh...?]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [Yeah, I don?t think that?s tobacco she?s smoking.]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [(as Keanu) ?I bent a spoon.?]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [(As Keanu) ?Uhh...you?re an acting coach, right??]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [The One?  No, that was Jet Li in another incomprehensibly goofy kung-fu sci-fi movie.]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [Uh, okay, as a personal favor to me, don?t ever refer to Keanu?s balls ever again.]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [(As Keanu) ?Eeeeeeeeee, I mean, ooooooooh, uh, how do you say ?Ahh? again??

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [(Oracle) ?There?s the mansion, there?s the tennis court and *spit* there?s the swimming pool.?]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [The script for Bill & Ted 3?]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [?He told me this great Dane Cook routine.?]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [I prefer to sprinkle my Morpheus, rather than pour.]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [I guess Tank never uploaded him with basic reasoning skills.]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [Incidentally, he?s also a Cubs fan.]

[Cap'n UKRiffer]

One good thing about this contest is it's brought a fair few new members to the board, which can only be a good thing.

Welcome guys!