Matrix Riffoff Fan Submission Thread

[MontyServo]

Thanks, but seriously, those are the best two I've got and I've seen better on this board for the second one.  The rest of mine don't just suck, they suck hard.

I'm glad you said that, since I was just being polite for the second one.     The McCoy/Sulu riff was really good though!   I would like to see the entire entry though.  One person's "suck hard" is another person's "hardly sucks".  I hope you reconsider.

[eegah]

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [?I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty!?]
01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [?Whoa!?]
01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [?It?s a spork!?]
01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [?Is this kid telling me to get bent??]
01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [?Whoa!?]
01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [?Excellent!?]
01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [?Whoa!?]
01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [?Excellent!?]
01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [Almost done what? Ignoring him?]
01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [?Whoa!?]
01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [?Excellent!?]
01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [It doesn?t take an Oracle to figure that out.]
01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [?No, but I?ll go along??]
01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [What, Coke?]
01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [?That?s dirty!?]
01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [?Lhoa!?]
01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [?Your ?acting line? is very short?]
01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [?I WANT A DAMN COOKIE!?]
01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [?Whoa!?]
01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [?He doesn?t get a cookie?]
01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [?I mean, WITH HIM NOT THERE!?]
01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [?Excellent!?]

[Mr`Death]

Monty, I think yours is a definite winner!

[estwald]

Wow, these were some good ones today! Mr. Death's line:

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [?Then why do you have to watch the oven??]

and Monty's:

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.
and
01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) Poor, sweet, stupid Morpheus.

Those had me cracking up.

Here's a question. Which line do you think was the toughest to riff? For me it was "There is no spoon". It seems like there's so much possibility with that line, just the ridiculousness of it, but my mind just drew a total blank. Which lines gave you guys the most trouble?

[mrbakasan]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.

This isn't a jab at Monty, but I don't understand this one.  I know explaining a joke kind of kills it, but I don't understand the reference.

[Mr`Death]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.

This isn't a jab at Monty, but I don't understand this one.  I know explaining a joke kind of kills it, but I don't understand the reference.

Out of curiosity, did you get the references in mine? (Grim Reaper & Battleship, Dogstar)?

[Mr`Death]

Wow, these were some good ones today! Mr. Death's line:

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [?Then why do you have to watch the oven??]

and Monty's:

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.
and
01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) Poor, sweet, stupid Morpheus.

Those had me cracking up.

Here's a question. Which line do you think was the toughest to riff? For me it was "There is no spoon". It seems like there's so much possibility with that line, just the ridiculousness of it, but my mind just drew a total blank. Which lines gave you guys the most trouble?

First, thanks for the compliment.

Second, I had a lot of trouble coming up with funny stuff in the middle and ended up very unsatisfied with what I came up with. The section I'm talking about:

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?)
01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?)
01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??)
01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??)
01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?)

I think mine finishes strong but is too weak throughout to do well. C'est la vie.

[Tarantulas]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.

This isn't a jab at Monty, but I don't understand this one.  I know explaining a joke kind of kills it, but I don't understand the reference.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_no,_Mrs._Burke!_I_thought_you_were_Dale!

[mrbakasan]

Out of curiosity, did you get the references in mine? (Grim Reaper & Battleship, Dogstar)?

Yeah, I get the Grim Reaper and Battleship riff.  I assumed that Dogstar is Reeves' band, but I'm not sure.

[mrbakasan]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.

This isn't a jab at Monty, but I don't understand this one.  I know explaining a joke kind of kills it, but I don't understand the reference.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_no,_Mrs._Burke!_I_thought_you_were_Dale!

Thanks Tarantulas.  You're wealth of information is bizarre, yet magnificant.

[estwald]

"I thought you were Dale" was one of those riffs on MST3K that got used again and again and just took on a life of its own. I had never even seen the commercial it was based on, but I found it hysterical anyway. There was one MST where a character looks at his own hands and Crow says "I thought *I* was Dale?!" which just had me rolling. Don't remember which one, though.

[Mr`Death]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.

This isn't a jab at Monty, but I don't understand this one.  I know explaining a joke kind of kills it, but I don't understand the reference.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_no,_Mrs._Burke!_I_thought_you_were_Dale!

My question ... who the hell names their daughter Dale?

[PlayMSTie]

Wow, these were some good ones today! Mr. Death's line:

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [?Then why do you have to watch the oven??]

and Monty's:

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Sorry, thought you were Dale.
and
01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) Poor, sweet, stupid Morpheus.

Those had me cracking up.

Here's a question. Which line do you think was the toughest to riff? For me it was "There is no spoon". It seems like there's so much possibility with that line, just the ridiculousness of it, but my mind just drew a total blank. Which lines gave you guys the most trouble?

Several of them were tough, but I thought the very first part ("bald kid picks up spoon") was the toughest. I wanted to find a really strong line to launch my effort, and I just couldn't come up with anything good.

[Kilgore Trout]

Here's a question. Which line do you think was the toughest to riff? For me it was "There is no spoon". It seems like there's so much possibility with that line, just the ridiculousness of it, but my mind just drew a total blank. Which lines gave you guys the most trouble?

For me, it was probably "Poor Morpheus..." for some reason.

[euphoria]

I found it hardest to do "bingo" and "almost done."  A multitude of particularly cheesy riffs came immediately to mind for each of them, but it was hard to come up with something halfway decent that everyone and his brother wouldn't have already thought of.  :-",