Matrix Riffoff Fan Submission Thread

[robertraur]

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) A pint-sized Hare Krishna.

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) Don?t you guys hand out flowers?

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) (In Keanu Voice) Wa, did I loose the spoon?

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) So, bend myself?

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) The red pill is starting to kick in.

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) (In Keanu Voice) He started it.

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) The one does not touch dangly beads.

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) Miss Cleo?s working out of her kitchen now.

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) Just cookin? up some more smart kids

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) Consider his noodle baked.

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) Cuter than Clay Aiken?

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) Well, I did turn down Speed 2.

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) I know kung fu?

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) Ugh, Menthol and Oatmeal Raisin.

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) Now your just making stuff up.

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) And then she immediately closes it.

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Yep, no mouth there.

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) Like a two-year old letter from Sandra Bullock.

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) Uh, LINE!

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) Has to work with this guy.

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) I?m pretty sure she means without him.

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) The name?s Neo, not Neal.

[Joe Don Faker]

Torgo I did especially like this one-two punch:

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) Here, take this, it?s as close to an Oscar as you?re ever going to get (says Bald kid)

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) Dude, there?s no spoon because you keep ruining them all (says Neo)

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) Well, I did turn down Speed 2.

Heh heh... nice.

[AvestheFox]

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [Hilarious comment]
?This devise makes silly chime?y noises when I pick it up! Te-he!?

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [Biting witticism]
?And if you do it just right, it can also do back flips and leap through hoops!?

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [Wry observation]
?There is only Spork, because Spork is so much cooler!?

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [Bon mot]
?Though the person behind you would REALLY complain!?

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [Dry offhand remark]
?Hey! Cut that out! Hey! Ow! OW! Owwwwwww??

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [Drop dead funny punch line]
?Wha.. ? But I wanted to play with this spoon! ? Darn? Well fine then! I?ll go see your stupid Oracle!?

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [Witty quip]
?Its the kitchen of Granma Carrot Top!?

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [Excellent jest]
?Was his name-o!?

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [Wisecrack]
?Just gotta bake the last of these tiny dimensional worlds then add some garlic!?

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [Amusing send-up]
?Maybe... I mean I really didn?t like that little vase? it was all in my way and stuff.?

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [Riotous parody]
?Like those little ponies with little cute shapes BURNED into their sides!?

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [Good-humored buffoonery]
?You?re actually darker than Weird Al on an acid trip??

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [Merry put-on]
?Uh? Something about a blind date??

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [Jocular raillery]
?The Three? and ?The Two? would completely disagree??

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [Bawdy pun]
?hu-hu-huh? She said ?balls? and ?bone? ?hu-huh?

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [Capricious vagary]
?(Cough, hack, choke, wheeze) God, you could kill an Oracle with that wind!?

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [Jolly shenanigans]
?Good lord, child! What have you been doing with these hands??

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [Clever rib]
?Like a good acting career??

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [Laughable taunt]
?Lost his hair in a boating accident?

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [Jape]
?His bald area had never shined so brightly?

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [Entertaining monkeyshines]
?Oh, you know. Without him! As in NOT there! Not present! ? Sheesh!?

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [Humdinger of a lark]
?Yes! He Believes in you, Neo! IN YOU!?

[Pak-Man]

Well none of my Riffs have been duplicated so far (Although I had a Red Pill gag of my own at a different time.) That's promising! :^)

[Tarantulas]

Where's your entry, Spider Man?

I'm waiting till the winners are announced.  I'm enjoying reading what others have posted though.

[tardoid7]

I used the Spork reference on the same line as Aves did....BASTARD! 

[Joe Don Faker]

Yup, yup, Spork for me, too... 

[Tarantulas]

Spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooork...

[Argo-Puppy]

These are hilarious! Thanks for sharing everyone.

[jedi2187]

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) "Avatar, the last spoonbender."

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) "oh, it's silverware from Big Lots..."

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) "There is no spoon, only Zule!"

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) "I think that kid just told me to get bent..."

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) Now the spoon's bending him!

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) "Me? Or the spoon?"

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) imaginary door by Pier 1 Imports.

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) That's my name-o!

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) She must mean the script.

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) Well, I am a klutz...

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) and I don't have to think that hard.

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) or careful.

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) Yes, but be gentle; it's my first time.

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) With a bullet?

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) and Dollars to donuts.

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) now turn your head an cough...

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) Nope, not hairy. You're okay.

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) Open the church, and where's the people?

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) Line! LINE!

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) Ripped off again.

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) Poor Neo; lost without a dictionary.

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) and Santa Claus, too.

[SaucyRossy]

Wow these are all great! good job everyone.

[FBX]

Nooo my spork joke!!! NOOOO!!

[Joe Don Faker]

It's hard to resist.  It's too fun to say.  A bit Swedish Chef-y.  Spork spork spork.

[Conor]

Yep, sporks were out of control.

[SmilinJackRoss]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [Would someone who can predict the future smoke?]

I like this one a lot.