Which One is yours?

[GregMcduck]

I wrote a joke about the two logos mating, but it wasn't worded like the joke used, so I don't know if it's a take of my joke or if it's someone else's.

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"This is why Superman works alone."
"Actually, it's because of his crippling Asperger syndrome."

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I wrote "I like how their dark, comic book version of hockey is drastically less violent then real hockey," which could have been turned into "The least violent game of hockey ever," but who knows.

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A front shot of Mr. Freeze's vehical.
"It's like a Dalek went to Hot Topic."

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The rocket breaks through the skyroof.
"If you want to view paradise..."

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Mr. Freeze flies about.
"Hey, what do you know, I'M in the sky with diamonds!"

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Robin is pulled out the water after being unfrozen.
"Uh, I renounce Satan?"

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Uma Thurman struts her stuff.
"Ew. Uma Thurman trying being seductive is like Audrey Tautou trying to be butch."

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"It'll be winter forever here in Gotham!"
"BUT NEVER CHRISTMAS!"

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Mr. Freeze hopes the threaten the city into giving him money for his research.
"As opposed to funding it with the large diamonds I have stolen."

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The party scene.
"Man, the Tiki Room just isn't the same anymore."

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"He'll be here."
"What's a few dozen casualties as long as we get our man."

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That silly ape costume
"So the missing link was a pile of dryer lint?"

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Robin screams in rage.
"I AM CAPTAIN KIRK!"

[bratpop]

They only used one of my jokes (I only entered ~40).  I had the Glen Frey reference at the end after they said "The heat is on."

Okay, call me a dick if you want, but I wrote, "Okay, but what does Glenn Frey have to do with anything?" and I think that's exactly how they phrased it. I'll give you half credit. Though to be fair, it was an obvious joke and I don't really know who Glenn Frey is. I wikied it. In fact I'm embarrased I wrote that. You take the credit.

[bratpop]

GregMcduck

I wrote a joke about the two logos mating, but it wasn't worded like the joke used, so I don't know if it's a take of my joke or if it's someone else's.

The only thing I had was "NOT symbolically gay." Where you other riffers took it though... wow. I was extremely jealous of anyone who got a long monologue in. Long, drawn out, overly verbose and/or detailed monologues that overstay their welcome are my favorite type of riffs. I didn't do too many though.

"This is why Superman works alone."
"Actually, it's because of his crippling Asperger syndrome."

I was shocked this made it in, frankly. Talk about meta. And un-PC. Hey, I hate PC though. Good job. Mine was "What, are you implying Superman doesn't like Val Kilmer quotes?" (re: "Chicks dig the car.")

A front shot of Mr. Freeze's vehical.
"It's like a Dalek went to Hot Topic."

Oh, okay. Thank you. I didn't understand the word "Dalek." And I fear rewinding the Rifftrax player.

The rocket breaks through the skyroof.
"If you want to view paradise..."

I just said "It's a Wonka-vator!" I liked yours better. I didn't have the guts to make MKB sing.

Mr. Freeze flies about.
"Hey, what do you know, I'M in the sky with diamonds!"

I guess Riff Raff didn't get my D.B. Cooper joke.

Uma Thurman struts her stuff.
"Ew. Uma Thurman trying being seductive is like Audrey Tautou trying to be butch."

Hehe. You're weird.

Mr. Freeze hopes the threaten the city into giving him money for his research.
"As opposed to funding it with the large diamonds I have stolen."

That was brilliant. Other people pretty much covered all my references to the expense of Freeze's budget compared to his ransom scheme.

"He'll be here."
"What's a few dozen casualties as long as we get our man."

Kudos. Picking these must have been like roulette. I put "Ah, recklessly endangering hundreds of people. Good plan."

That silly ape costume
"So the missing link was a pile of dryer lint?"

I was disappointed they didn't acknowledge how truly horrifying this sequence was.

[Ortega]

i'm only half way through and i've caught a couple of my own.

Robin:"I got mine!, Where's yours.
That's the motto of the Republican Party.

"We're seeing the clouds of cocaine that fueled the script-writing session to this movie"

And i second Steve-O, i put "lover" after the "  Friend, brother, partner" line too.

[SmilinJackRoss]

They only used one of my jokes (I only entered ~40).  I had the Glen Frey reference at the end after they said "The heat is on."

Okay, call me a dick if you want, but I wrote, "Okay, but what does Glenn Frey have to do with anything?" and I think that's exactly how they phrased it. I'll give you half credit. Though to be fair, it was an obvious joke and I don't really know who Glenn Frey is. I wikied it. In fact I'm embarrased I wrote that. You take the credit.

*checks script*

Yeah, that's probably yours, mine is worded slightly differently, but it's essentially the same joke.  This probably happened a lot.

Hey, that would be an interesting stat...which joke was duplicated the most between all the scripts?

[JoshWay]

This was such a thrill. I'm so glad I made myself write that riff script. It hurt, but it paid off tonight. Thanks, Rifftrax and RiffRaff!

I had 19 riffs that made the cut. I won't list them all, but here are my favorites:

"Ah, it's Rodin's 'Man Holding Balls'"

"So the Gotham Police are about as effective as Yahoo's spam filter"

"Mr. Wayne, anything to say to 'Huge-Ass Telescope" magazine?"

"Do not want!" (can't believe they used that one!)

And Mike's little rant at the very end is from my script. I never thought they'd include that - I just had to get it out of my system!

Now over to the other thread to list my favorites that weren't used...

[bratpop]

Baby, you're a star! I knew there would be a huge battle for the last line of the script, and I also just somehow gleaned that it would be a long rant, probably about how the movie was horrible. I opted for the ironic. The heroes turning into villains upon realizing how inept the police are and that nobody in Gotham is worth saving. Full text in the "REJECT" thread.

[Chaos]

If memory serves, the "mating logos" bit at the beginning was yours as well, JoshWay. Don't be modest! Chris and I just about killed ourselves laughing when we read that, especially since we were already working on the rest of that little sequence and it fit in so nicely as the first line (I had originally written "DC Comics never showed this aspect of their relationship" when the logos started humping, but I liked yours better, so we merged the two jokes together).

Incidentally, I'm ashamed to say, the gay jokes were the most duplicated lines of any in the script. If we had been so inclined, we EASILY could have made the entire script a series of strung-together gay jokes. For shame, all of you.

[JoshWay]

I wish I'd written that opening, but I didn't. Didn't even occur to me. But it did crack me up when I saw it.

[Darth Geek]

I'm shocked at how FEW nipple jokes there were.

[anais.jude]

Four of mine made it in.

Ahnuld: I'll kill you later
Mike: Another Campaign promise goes unfulfilled

Batman: Definitely
Riffer 1: decidedly. Riffer 2:unmistakably: Riffer 3: Posilutly (as in a mixture of positive and absolutely)

Freeze really should switch to ethanol or some more environmentally friendly form of fuel
(I forgot that was mine)

Gordon pulls the lever from Freeze to Heat
Riffer 1: Do you think that switch is meant to symbolize the dichotomy of the batman universe? Riffer 2: Um.... Riffer 1: The division between good and evil, man vs. machine, man vs., nature? Riffer 3: I think it's a switch from "Freeze" to "Heat"

Bruce Wayne: I love you, old man
Riffer 1: "oh, good he can stop being Batman now" Riffer 2: "What do you mean?" Riffer 1: "Didn't he become Batman because he was never able to say "I Love You" to another man?" Riffer 3: "No, it was because his parents were murdered" Riffer 1: "Oh, well I guess he has to continue to be Batman."

[stansimpson]

I got five in.  I think I had more but sometimes I was laughing so hard at other jokes, I think there's a few I may have missed.  The five of mine I caught were:

Poison Ivy takes out her wig:
"That's either a tribble or Shatner's toupee."

Bane busts through the wall:
"OH YEAH!!!"

The b&w photo:
"Uma Hepburn and The Masked Bogart."

Bane says "Exit":
"...stage left."

Posion Ivy:  "Kiss me and I'll tell you"; Robin:  "Tell me and I'll kiss you."
"Tell you kiss me and I."


Incidentally, my "Partner, Brother, etc." joke wasn't "Lover."  It was "Gay Buddy."  It was my only gay joke in my whole script.  I must say, "Quaker" was way better imo.  Good job Insert Coin(s)!

[Chaos]

I wish I'd written that opening, but I didn't. Didn't even occur to me. But it did crack me up when I saw it.

*checks notes*

Ah, it was Steve-O's. Well done, sir!

Your script was a joy to read, JoshWay. We had to be very harsh with the cuts, due to the insane number of lines we had to choose from (we had to go from 6200 lines down to 633 in the final script, which is still I think slightly more lines than a regular RiffTrax).

The most fun and simultaneously most difficult part of this process was making the cuts. In some places, we had literally 5 hilarious jokes to choose from (this happened a lot during the first 25 minutes of the script). Towards the end, it suddenly got very difficult to find ANYTHING. 75% of the scripts stopped before the 90 minute (or indeed even the 40 minute) mark, and I could tell from the caliber of riffs submitted for the second half of the movie in comparison to the first that everybody had felt the pain of writing for this movie as much as we had.

If there had been more time, we could have written additional material for some of those areas, or gone back to those other scripts to see if any of it was funnier after another pass. We also had a 3am editing session the day before the submission deadline which, I suspect, unintentionally cut out some lines that were originally meant to be in the script. There were also a couple (maybe only 5-10, nothing significant in the grand scheme) of lines that I could have sworn were in the script that didn't make it into the recorded Riff... I'm not sure if it was a copy error on my part when I compiled the final script, or if the timecodes were off and so they conflicted with other material, or what.

I think we underestimated how little material we were going to end up with for the last half of the movie going in (especially considering how many total lines we had). There's a lot of time involved with reading through all of that material, selecting the cream of the crop, rolling it all together, going back to the movie to check that the timecodes are correct (which I am sorry to say was largely not the case), correcting the timecodes or moving the riff to another spot if it didn't fit quite right or ran over another joke, writing new material to fill in the spaces we were noticing, and so forth. All of this took place in the course of about a week, while we were doing our normal jobs, and working on the Speed script simultaneously. Not ideal conditions.

Please understand, this is an explanation, not an excuse. I'm very happy with the material that is in the script. I think the material you guys gave us, as well as the material that we came up with, was very strong in the final cut. Obviously given our preference, there would have been no gaps at all. Speaking from personal preference, though, I would RATHER hear dead air (even in this turd of a movie) than a stupid, lame, crappy, or inferior joke. I freely admit that some good material was also lost in the shuffle due to sheer volume. For what it's worth, we've revised our writing process somewhat to specifically identify and target gaps very early in the editing process, so we can know ahead of time where we are going to need to fill in space (and can call for more material from the other contributors as well, time allowing).

Next time, Gadget... next time. *clenches fist*

[Isaac S.]

Jokes that were definitely mine:

(Robin begins melting Batman's shackles.)
Mike: The Bat... Laser... Pointer...?
Kevin: (laughing) I guess so.   

(Mad Scientist Guy: "Genius!")
Bill: Pizza on a bagel!  It's genius!

(A shelf of test tubes is pushed over onto Uma Thurman.)
Mike: No!  She's allergic to food coloring!  You monster!

(The Snow Miser song is playing.)
Kevin: (Sigh) When will they ever learn?  You never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy one!

("Just don't point it at my bedroom.")
Kevin: Unless you like watching smug, lonely, rich guys cry themselves to sleep.

(Girlfriend: "Bruce and I are recklessly in love...")
Bill: ...with ourselves.

(Mr. Freeze: "Very nice.")
Kevin: (As Borat) How much?

(Applause all around from the auction crowd)
Mike: I think this is the same crowd from the karaoke contest in Crossroads.

(Alfred: "None of us can.")
Kevin: That was an uncharacteristically subtle scene.  I'm surprised they didn't just have Alfred scream, "I'm dying!"

(Robin: "Hey." Batgirl: "Ya!")
Bill: There it is, the inspiration for the Outkast song that just won't die.

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Jokes that were remarkably similar to mine, but rearranged in some way, so I'm not sure if they're mine or someone else's idea of the same concept (shown as I wrote them, not as they were in the riff, because I don't feel like going back and checking how they were in the riff):

(Rent-a-Cop: "Please, show some mercy!")
(As Begging Cop) Erase my name from the credits.

(Bruce: "Alfred!" - around 22 minutes in)
Finish my line. Turns out, the one that made it verbatim was written by doggans.

(Bruce: "Alfred!" - around 29 minutes in)
Would you stop dying and get the door?!   

(Bruce: "It's the first time it's happened in thirty years." - same scene as above)
I'll just have to fire you, that's all.   

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Jokes that were almost certainly someone else's, but great minds think alike and we had the same general idea (shown here as I wrote them, because, again, I'm lazy):

(Mr. Freeze: "What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!")
Riffer 1: Uh...  Well, strictly speaking--
Riffer 2: (laughing) Just let it go.  It's not worth it.

(Mr. Freeze: "Thanks for playing.")
Wait, why not, "I hate to be cold, but I must be leaving"?  Riffer 2: Or "Have an ice day"?  Riffer 3: "Snow point in hanging around!"

(Robin in the red water)
That's actually just the normal expression on Chris O'Donnell's face.

("He'll be here.")
Hundreds of innocent people will die, but he'll be here.

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And, like many of us, I crapped out around an hour in.  I intended to finish it, but never actually got around to it.  Next time, maybe I'll start in the middle.

[Ortega]

you should offer a download of the timecodes srt too make sure that most of the scripts are all lined up correctly, which could give you more time to devote toward gleaming more of the better riffs.

And i agree, i'd rather hear silence than filler jokes.