Which One is yours?

[jetjaguar15]

Ok, I'm starting this thread for all the other Riff Authors: Post here once you've ID'd which of your riffs made it!

[MontyServo]

Looks like I ended up with 2 riffs in the final script.

I'll watch the entire rifftrax tomorrow and post what my 2 riffs were then.

[Junkyard]

I just listened to the first few minutes, and was extatic to hear that my "frieze" line made it in.

[RevJones]

My brother and I got sixteen riffs in altogether, will post later.

[Bob]

I just listened to the first few minutes, and was extatic to hear that my "frieze" line made it in.

Very "Dennis Miller" of you!

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

I wrote the following riffs (I put some in context):

"Arnold Schwarzenegger as Bobby Drake..."
"...George Clooney as Val Kilmer..."
"...and Chris O'Donnell as Anakin Skywalker IN..."
"...Uma Thurman. ... sorry ..."

"Riffer 1: "It's Commissioner Gordon!" Riffer 2: "No no, you can't use that one. It actually IS Commissioner Gordon." Riffer 1: "I thought that joke was safe for every occasion." Riffer 2: "Just keep watching and we'll pretend it never happened.""

("In the universe, there is only one absolute")
"Totality of unified human consciousness?"

("Watch the numbers, Batman, for they are the harbingers of your doom.")
"My calculus teacher in high school said the same thing to me on the first day of class..."

(Batman and Robin stop arguing)
"Honey, please, the baby is sleeping."

"After this movie, I'm going to call Podracing up and just say I'm sorry. I want it back."

(Mr. Freeze lands in smokestack)
"Either the laws of gravity no longer apply or Freeze is playing Halo 2"
*** Mine was worded a bit differently, but it has the same punchline, so it may be someone else's riff***

("You have eleven minutes to thaw the boy. What will you do? Chase the villain or save the boy?")
"--Or listen to Albuquerque by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Always a tempting choice."

("...Serving life in prison.")
*Applause*

"Yes! Now to achieve my lifelong dream of launching a man into space and forcing him to watch really bad movies!"

"Riffer 1: "Meanwhile at stately Wayne Manor..." Riffer 2: "No! You just don't get it, do you? That IS Wayne Manor! You can't make Batman jokes while watching Batman!""

(Ivy takes off gorilla mask)
"(As Shaggy): "Like, zoinks, Scooby! That's no gorilla!""

(Crowd shouts at party)
"Audience is acting like first-timers at a Bjork concert"

("Youth has its advantages. Endurance, stamina")
"--Appreciation of Harry Potter movies."

(Freeze's car busts into the party)
"Now, correct me if I'm wrong but aren't they on the top floor of a high-rise building?"

"Arkham Asylum, where the lightning is green and Sauron is always watching."

("Next time I'll just give them a stronger dose.")
"Um...the camera's rolling, Ms. Thurman."

(Sliding down the bridge)
"This was before friction was invented."

("How he's hiding the pain all the time.")
"Alfred's as emo as they come."

"Riffer 1: "To the Batcave!" Riffer 2: "No! No! No! You just don't get it! They ARE going to the Batcave. This IS Batman." Riffer 1: "So? That joke is always funny, right?" Riffer 2: "You're on joke probation for the rest of the movie. All jokes have to be personally approved by DisembAudio before you can say them. One more quip like that and you can just forget about riffing Gamera: Guardian of the Universe with us." Riffer 1: "Sorry...""

("Why are all the gorgeous ones homicidal maniacs?")
"Heh. You're telling me..."

"They're having dinner at the Rainforest Café."

("Why...it's right on top of police headquarters.")
"He was going to answer her anyways. All sexual functions shut down for him about 20 years ago."

("Friend. Partner. Broher.")
"Quaker."

("Sorry. My vines have a crush on you.")
"It doesn't count as a double entendre if it doesn't mean anything to begin with!"



Wow! 25

[GregMcduck]

Wow, nice.

You are contributing to Akira, yes?

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

I've been preparing for a missions trip so I haven't had a lot of time to write anything. I don't think I'll be able to contribute to that one.

[RevJones]

Here they are...

When Schumaker's name was first credited: "And his elves! Oh, schu-macher..."

When the camera first rises to Clooney as Batman: ""I'm George Clooney, and I'm sorry." (It was followed originally by "...and I'm Chris O'Donnell, and I was hungry.")

Freeze screams: "Kill the heroes!", riffed with "Kill the heroes! For I am the villain! And all ambiguous questions of right and wrong will be answered with ice-related puns!"

Alfred: "The Wayne Diamonds?" Riffed with: "The family jewels, sir?"

Freeze's henchman approaches: "It's nice to see Tom Arnold getting work... wait, no it isn't!""

When Batgirl arrives and greets Alfred: "The airline lost my accent!" (I'm envious of my brother, it's one of his lines, and I wish I'd thought of it.)

Alfred sends Alicia Silverstone off to bed and says something along the lines of "sleep well." "With your sweet, viable, transplatable organs."

Batgirl takes the bike. "Cyclops won't mind if I borrow his bike... I mean Batman... I mean Bruce! Damn!"

Batgirl is pulling the bike in the garage. "And now to haul ass to lollapalooza!"

When Batman tosses Robin into the ice cream vat. "Why does Batman always throw people into vats of chemicals? It's never worked in his favor."

Arnold starts detonating bombs as he lays dying. "At least he learned something from the Predator - probably acting."

Batgirl wakes up with a book on her - "Oh god, is this a book? what is this doing here?"

Somewhere towards the end of the fight scene in the museum: ""So this must be the Greek artifact diamond dinosaur exhibit." That's how it was scripted. I'm copying it from the original script.

Not sure about the following as they're easy and may have also been in other scripts:

Batgirl decides to look at the CD Alfred gave her. "Way to honor the dying wish of your beloved uncle."

and

"Snakes. Why does it always have to be snakes."

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

Somewhere towards the end of the fight scene in the museum: ""So this must be the Greek artifact diamond dinosaur exhibit." That's how it was scripted. I'm copying it from the original script.

This was my favorite joke in the whole movie. Good work!

[bratpop]

Not to turn this into "Which one ISN'T yous," but...

Insert Coin(s) to Continue:
Impressive. Most impressive.

"Yes! Now to achieve my lifelong dream of launching a man into space and forcing him to watch really bad movies!"

Ooh. I cringed hearing Mike say that. Sneaky.

"He was going to answer her anyways. All sexual functions shut down for him about 20 years ago."

I didn't get this one really. If his sexual functions shut down, why does she turn him into a drooling idiot? You seem to imply that resistance is a sexual function.

("Friend. Partner. Brother.")
"Quaker."

I hate you for this one. Seemed pretty non sequiter. Mine was, "granddaughter." But you won!


RevJones:

"I'm George Clooney, and I'm sorry."

Mine was "Batman versus the Killer Tomatoes." And if Riff Raff didn't get it, well too bad. For me. See, George Clooney was in Return of the Killer Tomatoes. I wanted the most ridiculous Clooney reference I could get. I assume too much. I keep forgetting on MST3k they could actually explain references to each other.

"So this must be the Greek artifact diamond dinosaur exhibit."

Mine was, "Wait, the Gotham Museum of ART has a DINOSAUR exhibit?" If you notice, the sign outside did in fact say Museum of Art, and even in the antiquities wing (which Gordon said), there's not much reason for a dinosaur. I don't know of any antique dinosaur art. I think I laughed at yours though. You managed to include the additional absurdity of the diamond. Somebody was confused either in the script department or the production department!

"And now to haul ass to lollapalooza!"

I thought this would have been better when she was leaving, not coming back. For coming back, I wrote, "Before this, she pulled into four different garages by mistake." I guess that's too cerebral. My bad. See, the garage is in Wayne Manor, and you'd have to be pretty dim to confuse it with four other houses. Next time I have to remember not to write jokes that require thought (that's not a reflection on anyone else, just my bad decisions).

I'm keeping my actual riffs secret for now. I want to see if anybody mentions them first.

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

"He was going to answer her anyways. All sexual functions shut down for him about 20 years ago."

I didn't get this one really. If his sexual functions shut down, why does she turn him into a drooling idiot? You seem to imply that resistance is a sexual function.

What I meant by it was that he really isn't that protective of the secret and the arousal had nothing to do with it, but take it any way that you will.

[bratpop]

Right, gotcha.

[SmilinJackRoss]

("Friend. Partner. Broher.")
"Quaker."

I'll bet this is one spot where virtually everybody had a one-word joke.  I put "Mommy."

They only used one of my jokes (I only entered ~40).  I had the Glen Frey reference at the end after they said "The heat is on."

[Steve-O]

("Friend. Partner. Broher.")
"Quaker."

I'll bet this is one spot where virtually everybody had a one-word joke.  I put "Mommy."

It's really interesting how many different takes people have on the same joke.  I figured most people would go with the same line that I picked: "Lover."