What was the last movie you watched?

[LucasM]

I have no idea what happened last week, but my cable provider blocked access to this forum, claiming it was no longer safe. Tried to reach it on my phone, and Android blocked it too, with another message saying the website was trying to access my passwords and attempting to change the clock on my phone?  So this week will include reviews from last week as well.

The SSL Certificate apparently got corrupted or something.  I had the same difficulty signing in for a few days, sent Erik an e-mail, and he got right on it. 

By the way, I generally lurk on this page (not enough brain power lately to write summary/reviews), but I enjoy reading others' descriptions and opinions.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

The SSL Certificate apparently got corrupted or something. 

It expired, and it was still registered to Legend Films, and it was still with GoDaddy.  No wonder it took a few days to get it set up the same as the main website using Letsencrypt.

[ihavemyreasons]

Bullet Train (2022)
Knew nothing about it going in. A lot of the humor fell flat and the "stylization" felt derivative and unorginal. But was never bored by it. So recommend, but not highly recommend...liked, didn't love. Maybe Brad Pitt's best movie? Probably something he did better, but everything he was in that immediately comes to mind was shit

[LucasM]

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once (2022)

I'd heard of this film watching The Graham Norton Show (the only talk show I find that allows the guests to be themselves, so seems worth watching even when I am not interested in the particular celebs that are on).

This film stars Michelle Yeoh, and starts as a woman who feels herself being pulled under by her lack of success in any aspect of her life.  Then, an alternate version of her husband from a parallel universe slips into her husband's body and tells her of a bigger multi-universe picture that involves her and danger to all universes.

'Hijinx ensue', including things like Matrix-style accessing other versions of her other selves's talents, Yeoh fight scenes, and a slight parody of the Disney film Ratatouille.

This is probably the most surreal film where the plot actually remains coherent (even if occasionally seeming to break its own rules, but I won't watch it again to be sure one way or another if it actually did).

I found it worth a watch,
spoiler for specific bizarreness in the film and the world where people have 12" hot dogs for fingers is both funny and a bit disturbing, but it is not a film I'd watch a second time.  Interestingly enough, despite how it seemed through much of its run time, it had heart at its core.  Basically I gave it 3.5 out of 5 stars.  But note, a fair amount of dialog is in Mandarin with subtitles for those who struggle with reading their films.

Oh, two of the producers are the Russo brothers - I guess the film-makers figured, "they've done one very involved multi-universe thing and kept it coherent, they should be good with this."

[stethacantus]

Once Upon a Time in China and America ( 1997 )
According to Jackie Chan, his friend Sammo Hung was having a slump in his career where no studio would hire him. So Chan asked him to direct his films. They began work on what was supposed to be Police Story 5, but prior to filming was reworked to be a stand alone action film shot in English for distribution in America called Mr. Nice Guy. Buth Jackie and Sammo began plotting what would be their next film together. Jackie had come up with a plot for a Western where he wakes up in a native American village with amnesia and spends the rest of the film, with the help of a friendly outlaw,  trying to figure out who he was. But then put the movie on hold as he accepted an offer from Disney to do Rush Hour with Martin Lawrence. Disney ended up backing out of the picture just prior to filming, and it would another year before it got off the ground for New Line Cinema with Chris Tucker replacing Martin Lawrence. Chan was initially thrilled to find out Sammo Hung had been hired by Tsui Hark to direct the sixth and final installment of the Once Upon a Time in China series. But then was shocked to learn that the film would take place in the American West. And eventually outraged to find out the plot involved Wong Fei Hung waking up in a native American village with amnesia. He immediately called up Sammo to yell at him for stealing his plot, noting that Sammo seemed regretful on the phone that he had done it, and begged Chan to forgive him. Both films ended up competing against each other the same weekend, with Mr. Nice Guy winning at the box office. Chan ended up forgiving Sammo, and when he was offered his own American television series for CBS, suggested to them that they hire Sammo Hung instead. He also said that he ended up using his plot anyway, splitting it up between the films Who Am I?, a modern day action film where he wakes up with amnesia in an African village, and Shanghai Noon, which used much of the plot from the planned Western, but eliminated the part about having amnesia. What had happened was that Sammo had assumed Jackie had abandoned the Western, and from that point on would be shooting films for American studios. Meanwhile, Tsui Hark had wanted Sammo Hung to take over his Once Upon a Time in China series as director, but was unable to get Golden Harvest to commit to a sixth film. In 1997 he was able to get Win's Entertainment to pick up the series, as long as Hark got Jet Li to return as Wong Fei Hung. Lee agreed to return, but just for one final Wong Fei Hung film. Hark decided it would be the final film in the series. He contacted Sammo to be the director. After hours of trying to come up with a plot for the final film, Sammo mentioned the plot he and Chan had been working on for an abandoned Western, and Tsui Hark loved it, using  many of the elements of it for his final Wong Fei Hung film.

Shot in on location in Texas, the film has Wong, 13th Aunt and student Club Foot traveling to America to visit former student So, who has opened a clinic for Chinese immigrants working for the railroad. During an attack by a hostile tribe of Native Americans,  Wong falls into a raging river while attempting to rescue 13th Aunt from a runaway stagecoach, hits his head on a rock, and wakes up in a village of friendly native Americans where he spends most of the film with amnesia. The second half of the film has him getting his memory back, only to end up framed for robbing a bank by the town's corrupt mayor, then eventually capturing the real bandits the mayor hired to rob the bank to prove his innocence. Not as good as the first three films, but way better than the fourth and fifth film, and good enough for the series to end on a high note. And with this film, I have completed the Criterion Once Upon a Time in China: The Complete Films box set.


Lazarus ( 2021 )
Something else I have completed this week is the superhero films for this year. There are still a few more to be added to my collection, but they are either new releases which are too high priced, or have not yet been released for whatever reason ( most likely as streaming exclusives ). I am probably going to get my next batch of Superhero films next winter 2023. For now, this is the last in the current batch. Once again one of the films recently added to Wikipedia's superhero movie list, which appears from the synopsis to be a legitimate superhero film. And I would say that Lazarus seems to qualify as a superhero film. The hero gains powers, check. The hero ends up wearing a costume to conceal his identity, check. The hero fights criminals, check. The only thing missing is that he has not given himself superhero name. Unfortunately, this film is sort of dull. Like a typical Asylum film dull. While Asylum doesn't seem to be connected in ay way to this movie, it has a lot of hallmarks of an Asylum film. Endless music score that drones on and on continuously through the film, check. Everything set in an industrial park, check. Slow lethargic pace, even in the action scenes, check. This so called movie seemed more like a television pilot for a series that was never picked up. Especially as it left the villains uncaptured, introduced a super villain in the final scene,  and left a lot of plot points unresolved.

[stethacantus]

Dynasty ( 1977 )
Some have claimed this to be the first 3D martial arts film, but Killer Meteors , which according to film historian Ric Meyers was originally distributed in China as a 3D movie, was released in 1976. There is a bit of an 80s story here. First, in the early 80s, one, maybe two companies realized they could show 3D films on television using the Anaglyphic method. ( Basically red tinting the left image and blue tinting the right image, then combining both on the same screen so that red-blue anaglyphic glasses could separate the images. )They soon discovered the FCC had strict rules on what could be broadcast on color sets. The rule  was put in place to prevent the networks, who all had stakes in the companies manufacturing color sets, from airing programs that could not be played back on black and white sets. So any movie shown in 3D had to be 90% watchable on black and white sets which showed the red and blue tint as the same shade of grey. Also, channels were reluctant to air films that were unwatchable to those without 3D glasses. To archive this, the picture alternated between 3D and flat images, sometimes only had half the screen in 3D and the other half where the characters were standing the flat image, and most of the time muted the red tint image. The end result was 3D that never seemed to work.

Apparently dozens of 3D films had been converted to Anaglyphic 3D and offered in syndication. Only a few aired in NYC. The first was Revenge of the Creature, which aired on WPIX11 around 1981.  A month before broadcast WPIX partnered with Burger King to distribute the glasses, which required a purchase of a food item at Burger King to get a pair. When the movie was broadcasted, it was preceded by instructions on how to adjust the color of your set for the 3D process to work.  For about a minute a split screen with Blue on one side and White on the other was shown, and you were supposed to adjust both your tint and hue knobs on your television sets while looking through the Blue lens until both sides of the screen appeared to be the same color. As far as I know, no one ever successfully got the television adjusted so that both sides of the split screen looked like the same exact shade of blue. Revenge of the Creature did not look like it was in 3D at all, and when it did, it was a placebo effect on the flat images. Many assumed this was due to them unable to properly adjust their sets.

A week later one of the rival stations aired Gorilla At Large in 3D. And didn't need to worry about distributing any glasses as Channel 11 had done that for them. The next 3D film didn't air in NYC until a few years later. Called The Mask, it was a bit of a rip off as it was a 2D film with two or three 3D sequences. Once again, glasses needed to be distributed. And once again the 3D didn't seem to work. Other notable attempts at television 3D were a nationwide syndicated release of John Wayne's Hondo. Those glasses were available at Wendys, only this time for free. It had been a decade since the previous 3D films, and the John Wayne Estate insisted they had perfected the 3D technology. Lonard Maltin even reported that he had an advanced screening of the movie and the 3D worked. It aired, and the 3D didn't work at all. In 2005 the series Medium aired an episode in 3D. Anaglyphic glasses were available through an issue of TV Guide which also had a 3D article. The 3D pictures in TV Guide worked. The 3D in the episode didn't.  There were some other attempts at 3D. Presto Elvis was the halftime show at Super Bowl XXIII in 1989. But it used a different 3D method where glasses with one darkened lens gave the temporary illusion of 3D to images where the foreground is moving left to right, and the background moving right to left. The same trick was used on a Yogi Bear cartoon series that had 3D segments, and one of the Shark Weeks, where the glasses were distributed for free at LensCrafters. Super Bowl XLIII aired 3D commercials using a different Anaglyphic method  developed by Intel where the lenses were dark blue and yellow-green. The same glasses were to be used on an episode of Chuck that was to air the next day. There was a piss poor distribution of the glasses by Sobe that got a free Super Bowl commercial out of the deal. Yet finding a store in New York City that sold Sobe was next to impossible, and the few stores that did refused to allow Sobe to set up the display that distributed the 3D glasses.  Target stepped up to the plate and promised to have the glasses at specific stores on specific dates, but for some reason never got the glasses.   I had to record the commercials  and Chuck episode to be watched later, because the only way to get the glasses was to buy them on eBay. And the 3D didn't work! But only did that when I was sure there was no way to find them for free.    And in 2007 Live with Regis and Kelly aired their Halloween episode in 3D. It was back to the original Blu-red Anaglyphic method again. This time the glasses were given out by Walgreens, who had plenty of them in their stores. and the 3D didn't work.

Now, lets go back in time a bit, back to 1980. Metro Media began airing something called Drive-in Movie on Saturdays at 3:00 in the afternoon.  The plan was to air B pictures like the Hammer Horror films and API biker films, and to throw in a few martial arts films from World Northal, who were the first distributors to offer Asian martial arts films for television syndication. The martial arts films got record breaking ratings, so the Dracula and biker films went away and Drive-In Movie became exclusively martial arts for the next seven years. That ended when Rupert Murdoch purchase Metromedia and used the stations to launch his FOX network. One of the things he ordered were for the Metro Media stations to stop airing martial arts films on Saturday afternoons, as he wanted that time slot to eventually air family friendly movies once FOX was officially launched. Ironically, the first movie to air the week the martial arts films were pulled was the tv friendly version of Barbarella.  Six weeks after the martial arts films were pulled, someone at Metromedia signed a deal to air 3D Madness, a weekly series that aired all of the 3D films that were converted to anaglyphic for television  in the early 80s. No glasses were distributed. You either had to dig up an old pair you had from previous 3D broadcasts, or find a company that sod 3D anaglyphic glasses. The first movie to air was The Mad Magician. The second was Dynasty. The legend goes that the executive who had made the deal to air 3D Madness didn't realize one of the films was martial arts, and when Murdoch found outa martial arts movie had aired after the fact, ordered  the executive fired, and for the contract with 3D Madness to be receded. Back then I had just bought my first VCR. Among the things that I had always wanted to tape were the martial arts films that aired every Saturday. My dumb luck, I bought the VCR on a Wednesday, and the following Saturday was the first weekend the martial arts movies didn't air. But I did tape Dynasty when it aired seven weeks later. It ended up being the final martial arts movie to ever air in New York City on Saturday. BTW, the 3D on 3D Madness didn't work. 

Now years later Kino Lober has been releasing 3D films with the option of BD3D for those with a BD3D machine, or anaglyphic with a free pair of  Red-Blue glasses that come in the case. The blu-ray also has the flat 2D version. As this was another restored old-school martial arts film, I decided to get it. And surprise... THE F&%KING 3D ACTUALLY WORKS! Stuff that is suppose to stick out of the screen actually looks lite it is pointing into your face. The depth looks convincing. It looks as 3D as the polarized lens  method of 3D used in movie theaters.

The film.. forgettable plot, no name actors, but decent martial arts.

The Magic Christian ( 1969 )
So John Cleese and Graham Chapman were asked to write the script for The Magic Christian, based on a novel about an eccentric American billionaire who uses hi money to pull off elaborate pranks. It was one o Peter Seller's favorite books, and he wanted to turn it into a movie, writing the original treatment. Cleese and Chapman went about changing the plot so that the lead character was British billionaire called sir Guy Grant ( Played by Sellers ). John Lennon was originally going to be in the film, so a character was written for him. He was to play the homeless beggar who Guy adopts, renaming him Youngman Grant and bringing him along as a sidekick. Lennon dropped out, and the role was offered to the other Beatles. Eventually Ringo accepted the role. After Cleese and Chapman finished the script, it was completely rewritten by director Joseph McGrath who brought in Terry Southern who had written the novel. Apparently very little of the material from Sellers, Cleese and Chapman ended up in the movie. But Cleese and Chapman did. Cleese has a role as an executive at Sutherby's, and Chapman a smaller uncredited role  as a member of the Oxford rowing team.

It is a flawed film. It is not made clear that Sir Guy is doing what he does as pranks. Sellers never shows Sir Guy or Ringo laughing at the pranks. And the editing is bad. ( What is it with Peter Seller's films and bad editing? )The highlight of the film is supposed to be the voyage of the Magic Christian, a luxury liner designed for the elite rich which Guy and Youngman infiltrate. But thanks to bad editing, the ship falls into chaos without rhyme or reason, other than the director wanted to get out of tat section of the film as fast as possible. Yet aside from it's flaws, I like this fil. And it does have a lot of really good segments. I especially liked the segment tacked onto the end where Guy and Youngman fill a vat with shit and urine and throw money into it just to watch businessmen dive in to retrieve the free money, all set to Thunderclap Newman's song "Something in the Air".

[LucasM]

stethacantus, thanks for the great history of 3D on TV!

I recall way back then that something (have no clue what, likely a monster movie of some kind) was aired in 3D, but they did something rather bizarre: they combined the standard color film with the red/blue anaglyph image.  So that it would appear almost normal to those not wearing the glasses, but have just the TINIEST bit of 3D effect for those wearing the red/blue glasses.  Really bizarre - and, basically, can be considered another failed 3D-on-TV attempt. 

[MartyS (Gromit)]

I remember there was an episode of 3rd Rock From The Sun that had sections in 3D, using a type of 3D where one eye has a darker lens than the other, this is supposed to delay the signal from that eye to the brain enough where somehow alternate frames on the TV screen would be interpreted differently.  Without glasses you didn't notice anything, with glasses there was barely a 3D effect, so another one that was more of a publicity stunt than a breakthrough.

[The Lurker]

I remember there was an episode of 3rd Rock From The Sun that had sections in 3D, using a type of 3D where one eye has a darker lens than the other, this is supposed to delay the signal from that eye to the brain enough where somehow alternate frames on the TV screen would be interpreted differently.  Without glasses you didn't notice anything, with glasses there was barely a 3D effect, so another one that was more of a publicity stunt than a breakthrough.

Yeah, it was one of the season finales and it used the noncolored type of 3D glasses.

[stethacantus]

Pulfrich 3D. Was the version used for 3rd Rock, Presto Elvis + Diat Coke commercial ( they distribute the glasses ), Yogi Bear cartoon ( the glasses were given away as prizes in Kellogs cereals ) and Howard Stern's Butt Bongo Fiesta ( free in VHS box ). Also for the porno films The Magic Bed and Buttwoman and Bedgirl. Didn't remember it being used on 3rd Rock. The effects wore off after a few minutes, were only slight to begun with, and if the image wasn't constantly moving, it didn't work. They actually tried to shoot a feature film using this method. Don't know if that film was ever released or completed.

[stethacantus]

Tai Chi Hero ( 2012 )
As I mentioned a while back when reviewing Tai Chi Zero, I found out only after buying it that a sequel was shot back to back, which I would have bought had I known about it, and watched it the following week. Tai Chi Hero was released exactly four weeks after Tia Chi Zero was released. Just as entertaining as the first one, and a bit less stealing from Scott Pilgrim this time. It is supposed to be a trilogy with a film called Tai Chi Summit which has yet to be shot, and will probably never be made.

The Best House In London ( 1969 )
Continuing to buy the solo films of the members of Monty Python, here is another film with a cameo by John Cleese. This time Cleese had nothing to do with the script. The film itself is a farce. Joanna Pettet plays Josephine Pacefoot, an activist in London in the late 1800s  who is trying to get trade work for prostitutes so that they are no longer bound to being hookers, and has opened a hostile for prostitutes looking to reform, unaware that they are still sex workers behind her back. Businessmen and clergymen are demanding the Prime Minister do something about the prostitutes clogging the streets, but agree that outright outlawing them will only lead to men raping women. So his solution is to find a house for the prostitutes to do their business in. He tasks the job to Sir Francis Laybourne, a nobleman who owns a recently vacant house, and an opium plantation in India. The Chinese ambassador  wants  Leybourne to stop selling opium to China, but he refuses to do so, causing the ambassador to plot to kill Leybourne.  Leybourne has disinherited his son Walter, a captain in the Light Brigade who fled from battle and disgraced the family. Meanwhile Leybourne frequents with a French prostitute named Babett, not realizing her pimp is his son Walter, who is scheming with Babett and Laybourne's crooked lawyer, to get back in his father's will.  When he finds out his father has leant the house for the prostitutes to operate out of, Walter secretly turns it into his own brothel, getting every prostitute in London under his control.  Sir Leybourne goes on a trip to India to visit his opium plantation and is killed in an uprising before the crooked lawyer can change the will. So both the brothel and the opium plantation end up inherited by his next closest relative, his niece,  Josephine Pacefoot. After tricking Josephine into thinking the house has a convent instead of a brothel, he schemes to wed her so that her property becomes his. Meanwhile Josephine has fallen in love with freelance reporter Benjamine Oakes, who is trying to get a story published promoting a zeppelin that an eccentric  German inventor is building in London. Walter decides to frame Bejamine by having one of his prostitutes claim he raped her. BTW, both Walter and Benjamine are played by David Hemmings. And the movie has a red herring where both characters have an identical birthmark, while Benjamine claims his mother died at birth and he never knew who his father was, suggesting that he is Walter's brother. This is all an elaborate set up for most of the characters to be chasing each other through the brothel on its opening night.

This film was not funny. Which is a shame because it should be funny. It has the right material, and is full of talented comedic actors and actresses. Yet somehow gags that should be funny, just aren't. The only part I did find funny was the brief scene John Cleese is in. Laybourne is dining in his plantation in India, seemingly oblivions to the uprising just outside, or that bullets are coming through the windows, shattering various items on the table, even killing the odd servant. The man dining with him is Jones, played by Cleese, who is aware of the bullets, and is trembling while watching various items on the table explode. He barely has any lines, and actually, this scene is barely amusing. But it sets up a gag that is legitimately hilarious, and the only true laugh in the entire film.  Another odd thing. IMDb claims that John Cleese has an uncredited role. He is listed among the cast in the opening credits. But is not listed in the closing credits.

Next week another of the Python solo films, but with almost every Python involved. Which I will hopefully get by the end of the week. A film I have been attempting to purchase for the past couple of years, but each time ended up with a region locked U.K. disc, or the wrong movie, or the seller admitting he never  really had the film in stock and thought he could get a copy from the distributor. Leaving me to wonder if it was ever really given a Nort American release.

Pacific Rim ( 2013 )
Saturday Night Live being a rerun this week, I decided to rewatch this film.

[stethacantus]

Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance ( 1972 )
Fund a bargain on the Criterion release of the entire Lone Wolf and Cub film series, so decided to get it. I already had the entire series on Laserdisc from back in the 90s when AnimEigo  released it along with the Sleepy Eyes of Death series and Hanzo the Razor series. While those were sourced from first generation film prints, the technology of the time didn't have anamorphic widescreen, so they are currently letterboxed, which means when shown on modern sets would be half the size of the screen. Ad this set includes Shogun Assassin, so I am sort of getting a film I didn't have yet. This, the first film in the series, gives the origin of Ogami Ittō and his son, a.k.a. the assassin Lone Wolf and Cub, which is shown in flashbacks while  Ittō  is on a mission to kill a clan of bandits who were hired to ambush a traveling lord at a hot spring resort. This sort of counts as a superhero series, and is even based on a Japanese Magna series of the same name.


Airplane! ( 1980 )
Tonight was supposed to be Absolutely Anything, a film written and directed by Terry Jones, and had participation by what was then all the surviving members of Monty Python. Except that once again I was unable to acquire a copy of the film. About seven years ago it was released on home video, but only for PAL and region locked in Europe. Waited about a year or two for the U.S. release. Finally Amazon listed a DVD release. Waited a few months for the Blu-ray release, but no American Blu-ray release was ever listed. So I ordered the DVD, and instead I got a PAL region locked copy. instead of the supposed 2oth Century Fox release Amazon had listed. Sent the unopened DVD back as a return, but could not get an exchange because Amazon had de-listed the American release. A couple of years later it was listed again, so I reordered it, got a region locked PAL, returned it unopened, ordered another, got a region locked PAL, returned that unopened as well, then Amazon listed it as "Unavailable at this time" Kept checking bac to see if it was in stock or completely delisted again. Then forgot about it until about two months ago when I ordered The Magic Christian and decided to look to see if it was available again. This time as a release from Sony. I  was a bit wary as the description included "French Dub" as the language. However, the entire box was in English, so maybe this is the Canadian release with a French dub track included for Montreal? Anyway, ordered that DVD, and got a completely different DVD instead. A rom com with Keano Reeves, but with the sticker for Absolutely Anything on the back. Returned it unopened, went to reorder, discovered Amazon had the 20th Century Fox release listed again, ordered it, was told it would be delivered by a third party seller, waited nearly a month, and it was never shipped. The third party seller eventually cancelled the order saying he was unable to get a copy from his distributor. Amazon changed the listing back to Unavailable. Ordered the Sony again, Was told  it would arrive in a week, but then was switched to a third party seller as Amazon realized every copy they had in stock was a mislabel Keano Reeve rom-com, But was assured that this third party seller actually had the DVD. Only he took nearly a week to send an email announcing it had been shipped, and would not arrive until November 20th the earliest? And has so far not provided a tracking number?  So the question is, was this ever actually released in North America, or are the pictures of both the Sony and 2oth Century Fox boxes just photoshop?

So, moved on to the next film in queue. Decided to finally get around to adding the ZAZ films to my library. Which was the writing/directing/producing team of David Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Jerry Zucker who began with the cult favorite Kentucky Fried Movie ( 1977 ), and throughout the first half of the 80s before splitting up for their own solo careers. Airplane was their breakout hit, popularizing their own unique brand of humor which would eventually be copied in other parody films. Earlier this year Airplane was remastered for a new Blu-ray release. But it turned out the remastering was botched, and the advice was to get the previous Blu-ray release. Which is now available at a quarter of the price as a two disc budget set that includes the sequel Airplane II: The Sequel which I had never seen before out of protest., but am willing to see now. Nowhere as funny as the Police Squad television series and subsequent films, Airplane! is still full of plenty of gags that earn a chuckle, and one involving a fan that is probably the funnies gag in film history.

[stethacantus]

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx ( 1972 )
Ninja clans working for the Yagyū clan spend most of this film attempting to ambush and kill Ogami Ittō ( a.k.a. Lone Wolf ), and it has one of the series most famous scenes. Ittō's three year old son Daigoro ( a.k.a. Cub ) is kidnaped by the ninjas, and held over a well by a rope. Ittō is told that if he does not surrender, Daigoro  will be dropped down the well. However, Daigoro kicks off his sandal, allowing Ittō to hear how long it takes for a falling object to hit the water at the bottom. He then cuts his way through the ninjas, stepping on the end of the rope just before Daigoro hits the bottom. This entire scene was ripped-off shot for shot in  the science fiction movie Ultraviolet ( 2006 ). The B story is a clan that has hired Ittō  to assassinate a spy that has stolen their village's secret formula for making an indigo dye.  The spy is being protected by three warriors with unique steel weapons.  There is no end to how many ways characters in this film stab or mutilate each other. For example, one ninja clan challenges their best warrior of another ninja clan to get out of a pagoda and into a garden outside. He never actually makes it to the garden, as the other clan hacks him apart bit by bit, cutting off one limb after another until just the torso is left, desperately trying to squirm the last few inches into the garden before the rival ninjas kill what is left. And you thought the Black Knight fight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail was bloody.

Airplane II: The Sequel ( 1982 )
I boycotted this film. In my lifetime, there was only two or three films I specifically refused to see. Two of them in 1982. My friends wanted to see something called Doctor Butcher M.D.. I had seen the television spot, and it looked really bad, with actors who couldn't act and a plot that was described as a blood thirsty doctor randomly killing his patients. I had nothing against splatter films, but this really looked bad. So when my friends all went to see it, I refused to waste my allowance money on it. The other was Airplane II: The Sequel. By that time Entertaiment Tonight was a thing, and they reported how none of the guys who wrote the original film had anything to do with the sequel. By this time, thanks to the television series Police Squad, I was aware of who Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker were, and as far as I was concerned, doing a sequel to Airplane without Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker would be no different than doing a sequel to Monty Python and the Holy Grail without Monty Python participating. I had friends who insisted on seeing it. I tried to talk them out of it, but they went anyway. I had one friend who insisted it was funny, and being a Star Trek fan, thought William Shatner was hysterical. He loved this one gag in the film. The one where Shatner complains when he finds out there is no tower, and kept quoting it like it was comedy gold.  It was on television a few times, Once or twice I caught it in the middle, watched a minute or two, then changed the channel. But I always assumed it must have been garbage without the original creative team.

Airplane II: The Sequel was written and directed by Ken Finkleman, who earlier that same year wrote the script for Grease II. Airplane took six years for three comedians to write. Finkleman wrote the script for Airplane II in three months. The only reason why I watched this was because it came as a double feature with the Airplane blu-ray. Perhaps I was being too harsh on the film. Just because ZAZ was not involved with the sequel does not mean it could not have been funny. A lot of other films copied the ZAZ formula, some of which were actually funny. So I went into this with an open mind, and.... and it isn't funny. About the only things close to a laugh are the forementioned Shatner rant about not having a tower, which is coupled with a sight gag that is a reworking of the mirror gag from the original Airplane, and another gag involving a dog being shot. It is not so much the writing that went wrong, but the directing. A lot of the gags in this film could have worked, if the pacing was not off. Many of them are reworkings of gags from Airplane, while others are done in the style f the typical ZAZ sight gag. One or two are ripped off from other films or television shows. So yea, I tried to like this. But instead sat through it without laughing, which is a problem for a comedy.

[stethacantus]

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades ( 1972 )

Once again everyone is trying to kill Ogami Ittō, but all just winding up dead. This time around Ittō is hired by the former retainer of a lord who Ittō had executed years earlier when he was still the shogun's executioner.  The retainer wants revenge against the corrupt governor  who set his Lord up to be executed. That same governor attempts to hire Ittō to assassinate a minister, but he refuses as the governor is his next victim. This was the film that Ogami Ittō first begins using guns.  It is revealed that the baby cart has built in machine guns used to dispatch half an army, and the governor is done in by Ittō when he shoots him with hand guns.  Still, another satisfying chapter in the series.


The Naked Gun: From The Files of Police Squad! ( 1988 )
There is a Police Squad! film that was never released. With the series cancelled and no syndicator willing to syndicate a television series with only six episodes, ZAZ thought the only way to recoup their money on the series was to reedit the shows they had into a television movie.  Framing scenes were shot of Frank and the cast in court, with the episodes shown as flashbacks during Frank Drebin's testimony.  As far as I can tell, it has never been released, despite having new Police Squad! material.

Instead, ZAZ was talked into making a Police Squad movie. I can recall loving this film when it was released. Police Squad! had been off the air for eight years, and as far as I can remember, wasn't even available on home video yet. So. I had not seen the series in years when I watched this movie in the theaters. This time around, I watched this movie the same day I binge watched the series it was based on ( see review in Television section ). Which I should warn any ZAZ fan not to do. A lot of gags from the series are recycled, and not done as well for this film. There is a completely different tone as in this movie at least, Drebin is portrayed as a bumbling idiot, where that wasn't the case in the series. The series barely had any physical comedy. This movie is full of physical jokes rather than the more familiar ZAZ pun gags.  It also has the drawback of realizing everyone in this film is either dead now, or O.J. You are reminded this in the first few minutes where Frank breaks up a conference between world leaders who are all dead now. Ayatollah Khomeini, Castro, Idi Amin, Arafat, Gaddafi and Gorbachev. This in turn makes you aware that both Leslie Nielsen and George Kennedy are gone. Ricardo Montalban, gone. Queen Elizabeth, gone. Pricilla Presley is still here, but only reminds you that Elvis is gone. And then there is O.J. There is a lot here to bum you out as you try to enjoy the comedy.

As pointed out in the review for the Police Squad! series, the DVDs, for whatever reason, are abridged. Even the VHS releases of these films were the theatrical versions. For one thing, the gag where the queen is forced to do the wave is cut. Why they released a shorter version of this movie on DVD is anyone's guess. According to some reviews, the Blu-rays are nothing but upscaled copies of the DVD masters, so you are better off just buying the DVDs. In this case, Paramount now releases all three movies in the trilogy in the same box set for around $8. However, I did notice they recently released the movies and television series together in the same set, which I didn't bother getting as they are apparently the same masters used for all the previous DVD releases. Also, cheaper to spend $8 on the three movies I didn't have yet than $15 on a full series and movie set. But just watch as a month from now Paramount finally releases those deluxe editions with the full theatrical prints and all the missing outtakes ( And the music video for the movie that was also not included as an extra for any Paramount set. )

[stethacantus]

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril  ( 1972 )
Ogami Ittō is hired to track down and assassinate a nude swordswoman with unique tattoos who uses her nudity and tattoos to distract her opponents. Two B stories. One introduces Yagyū Gunbei, the son of the Yagyū clan leader, who years earlier, lost a duel with Ittō to decide which clan would be the Shogun's assassin. The second B story has the  clan leader setting a trap for Ittō, which has him surrounded by an army of nearly 100 ninja warriors.  Probably the only complaint one could have with this film is an out of style C story with Ittō's son Daigoro ( which leads into the first B story. ) Having wandered away from the baby cart to watch some street performers, Daigoro becomes lost. While searching for his father, a kids song plays over the soundtrack. This followed by the first voiceover in the series which sounds too much like someone reading a fairytale. Obviously this part of the film was to pander to the children in the audience. But why would you bring children to a film full of violence, blood and gore, and has a nude woman?

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear ( 1991 )
I never saw this film in it's entirety before.  I am not sure why. Never bothered to see it in the theaters, and for it's home video and cable broadcasts, caught random scenes either played over the screen at Blockbuster, or channel surfing. I do recall laughing at what I had seen, but for some reason was not compelled to watch the entire film through. Most of this film is funny, but I do have reservations. One is, just like the previous naked gun film, it reuses a lot of gags from the series Police Squad, which were done better on the series.  The second, too often they make Drebin out to be a bumbling detective, which would not be a problem if this were a Pink Panther film, but is out character with the Drebin from the television series, and often seems forced. They even dumbed down the George Kennedy and O.J. Simpson characters than they were in the previous films.