I would even try being a lesbian.

[Pastor of Muppets]

This line in the song drove me crazy.  I wouldn't have noticed if the guys didn't keep bringing it up.  It has to be one of those lyrics you mishear.  You know, a mondegreen. 

So I checked the credits, to find out the name of the song.  It's called "Prove I Love You" by Ray Isaac. 

I found an unriffed version of the movie so I could hear it without the guys talking over it.  The song goes into various dangerous things the singer would do to prove his love to this woman.  Right after he sings this line, he says "I'd sleep with a snake in my bed".  Later he says he'd swim with sharks and hold hands with a bear.

But this one line makes no sense.  "Being a lesbian" is 1) Not dangerous  2) Not something you can try to become 3) Definitely not something a man can do.

I found some versions of this song on Youtube, but they omit the line about being a lesbian and sleeping with snakes.  Those lines are also not in any lyric listing I could find.  They do all feature Ray Isaac's weird inhuman eyes though.

So yeah, I put way too much thought and effort into this.

[The Lurker]

There's also a line about holding hands with a man.

[Pastor of Muppets]

There's also a line about holding hands with a man.

I'll have to listen to the song in the movie again, but I know there's a line about holding hands with a bear in the lyrics.  You sure the guys didn't just infer the connection between "bear" the animal and "bear" the slang term for a hairy gay man?

[Pastor of Muppets]

Well, I tried recording the line off an unriffed version of the movie, then slowing it down.  Still sounded the same.

I found this version by Moldovan singer Igor Ni, complete with lyrics on screen.  Either he couldn't find out the correct lyrics, or the correct lyrics ARE "I would even try being a lesbian", because that's what he sings and what appears on the screen.

[stansimpson]

Have you tried finding subtitles?

EDIT: Which minute does it happen? I might be able to find it.

[Pastor of Muppets]

Have you tried finding subtitles?

EDIT: Which minute does it happen? I might be able to find it.

It comes in about 19:30 in the Rifftrax version.

The only context I can think of in which this makes sense is that the song was written by a woman to sing to a man.  When the lyric says "I would try being a lesbian", it's not about attempting to change your sexual orientation.  It's about doing lesbian acts.  Many straight men find this titillating, and sometimes straight women will do this to get attention from men.  It's usually not full bore woman on woman sex, but a sort of PG-13 lesbianism which only goes as far as making out.

So I can totally see a woman offering to perform sexual acts on another woman in order to prove her love to a man.  It's kind of sad and pathetic that the woman feels the need to do this, but it still makes sense.

[Darth Geek]

Have you tried finding subtitles?

EDIT: Which minute does it happen? I might be able to find it.

It comes in about 19:30 in the Rifftrax version.

The only context I can think of in which this makes sense is that the song was written by a woman to sing to a man.  When the lyric says "I would try being a lesbian", it's not about attempting to change your sexual orientation.  It's about doing lesbian acts.  Many straight men find this titillating, and sometimes straight women will do this to get attention from men.  It's usually not full bore woman on woman sex, but a sort of PG-13 lesbianism which only goes as far as making out.

So I can totally see a woman offering to perform sexual acts on another woman in order to prove her love to a man.  It's kind of sad and pathetic that the woman feels the need to do this, but it still makes sense.

Makes sense. Everything else about that movie was kind of sad and pathetic.

[stansimpson]

Reporting back to say that I watched the song on Amazon Prime with subtitles. Unfortunately, the characters have a line that interrupts the lesbian line. So no official subtitles can confirm it. And I checked Genius.com (the IMDb of music), but there's no listing. It 100% sounds like that *is* the correct words though. I can't hear it as anything remotely close to anything else.

I haven't seen the RiffTrax of this yet, but consider my interest strongly piqued. Getting major James Ngyen vibes with a David DeCoteau production value.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I haven't seen the RiffTrax of this yet, but consider my interest strongly piqued. Getting major James Ngyen vibes with a David DeCoteau production value.

The production values are decent, but the acting is terrible and the story is stupid as fuck.

[Pak-Man]

If someone wrote a parody of dance movies, it would not be as hilarious and cliched as this dance movie.

[Pak-Man]

We have an answer! Someone on Facebook messaged the artist asking what was up. Here was the reply:

[Pastor of Muppets]

Aha!  So I was right!  I don't know if the intention was to say "I'm straight but I would do girl on girl stuff in order to arouse you" but that does confirm that it was written for a female.