Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Spoilertastic Thread

[MrTorso]

Hey Ranking it 5th ain't too bad..
I'd rank it 4th as of now behind the first 3 originals

Certain people had me questioning myself, so that's in part why I saw it 2 and 3 times. It took me a lot of viewings to completely process it. I'd rank it just behind Empire Strikes back. Just like no Trek movie has ever exceeded The Wrath of Khan, no Star Wars movie will ever exceed ESB... but I'd be more than happy if Rian Johnson proves me wrong end of next year.

You really need to step back and say who gives a shit what other people think.... if you loved the movie, you loved the movie. 

[goflyblind]

has the porn parody of this been made yet? so many intriguing possibilities...

[Quantum Vagina]

Star Whores: The Cock Awakens

Finn arrives on Jackuoff to meet Rey, a young woman who is particularly skilled at handling his staff. Too soon, though, their rendevouz is cut short by the evil First Whorder, a group of villains who have the goal of resetting up the Slutlactic Dickpire's rules that sex must only be done in the missionary position with the lights off! Follow the journey of our heroes as they battle the evil Kylie Ren, a dark and mysterious woman and agent of the First Whorder, and meet several series regulars along the way, including Chewcocka, Luke Skyhumper, C3-Peniso, and many others!

Starring Sasha Grey, and a guy no one cares about because nobody cares about male porn stars.

I wonder if Netflix will pay me for that summary.

[Variety of Cells]

Star Whores: The Cock Awakens

Finn arrives on Jackuoff to meet Rey, a young woman who is particularly skilled at handling his staff. Too soon, though, their rendevouz is cut short by the evil First Whorder, a group of villains who have the goal of resetting up the Slutlactic Dickpire's rules that sex must only be done in the missionary position with the lights off! Follow the journey of our heroes as they battle the evil Kylie Ren, a dark and mysterious woman and agent of the First Whorder, and meet several series regulars along the way, including Chewcocka, Luke Skyhumper, C3-Peniso, and many others!

Starring Sasha Grey, and a guy no one cares about because nobody cares about male porn stars.

I wonder if Netflix will pay me for that summary.

I almost cried when C3-Peniso left R2-DP2, just because the bot only had two holes for his three penis'.  He was your soul mate, can't you see that?

[anais.butterfly]

It's just not that good, guys. I get that you're all glad it isn't the prequels, but I think time will show that this movie is seriously overrated right now.

So confident and self-righteous, and yet so many people don't care what you think.


I enjoyed your post until this bullshit.

[Russell AKA Soguru]

So confident and self-righteous, and yet so many people don't care what you think.
I enjoyed your post until this bullshit.

I stand by you, my friend.

[The Lurker]

Even though it had issues I still enjoyed it.  Despite JJ Abrams involvement, it still felt like a Star Wars movie.

In regards to Finn and Rey: Finn probably worked his way up from janitor and I appreciate the perspective he provided.  Nice to see a story from the other side.  It was the killing of unarmed civilians that was his breaking point.  At least that's what I got out of it.  Most of Rey's knowledge kinda made sense considering her scavenger/survivalist background.  I assume she's familiar with how spaceship parts work.  As for the Jedi stuff, she still comes across as an amateur especially her lightsaber form.

From what I've gathered, the Starkiller base seems to be a better reworking of an EU idea.

[Quirk]

As for people thinking the dialog was bad... some people spend so much time in fiction that they don't know a genuine sentence when they hear it.

[The Lurker]

I'm just glad we didn't get a "I hate the sand" moment.

[ScottotD]

As opposed to the prequels which despite the Lucas involvement, didn't feel at all like Star Wars movies.


Although I think even mentioning them in the same sentence as the prequels is an insult, I get that you're angry you're not 11 years old and have some issue with JJ but it's a fun ride that pays homage to it's history while moving forward.

Anyone using the term 'overrated' has me instantly picturing Comic Book Guy lol

[Imrahil]

Even though it had issues I still enjoyed it.  Despite JJ Abrams involvement, it still felt like a Star Wars movie.

In regards to Finn and Rey: Finn probably worked his way up from janitor and I appreciate the perspective he provided.  Nice to see a story from the other side.  It was the killing of unarmed civilians that was his breaking point.  At least that's what I got out of it.  Most of Rey's knowledge kinda made sense considering her scavenger/survivalist background.  I assume she's familiar with how spaceship parts work.  As for the Jedi stuff, she still comes across as an amateur especially her lightsaber form.

From what I've gathered, the Starkiller base seems to be a better reworking of an EU idea.

Janitor to stormtrooper makes sense to you? It'd be like making Dave Lister a marine.

[Darth Geek]

Even though it had issues I still enjoyed it.  Despite JJ Abrams involvement, it still felt like a Star Wars movie.

In regards to Finn and Rey: Finn probably worked his way up from janitor and I appreciate the perspective he provided.  Nice to see a story from the other side.  It was the killing of unarmed civilians that was his breaking point.  At least that's what I got out of it.  Most of Rey's knowledge kinda made sense considering her scavenger/survivalist background.  I assume she's familiar with how spaceship parts work.  As for the Jedi stuff, she still comes across as an amateur especially her lightsaber form.

From what I've gathered, the Starkiller base seems to be a better reworking of an EU idea.

Janitor to stormtrooper makes sense to you? It'd be like making Dave Lister a marine.

I just figured that working in sanitation, and other menial roles, was what they had the Stormtroopers doing while they were being trained up to be soldiers.

[The Lurker]

I do hope the tone does shift for the subsequent ones, however.  They don't all need to be in "serious business" mode.

Even though it had issues I still enjoyed it.  Despite JJ Abrams involvement, it still felt like a Star Wars movie.

In regards to Finn and Rey: Finn probably worked his way up from janitor and I appreciate the perspective he provided.  Nice to see a story from the other side.  It was the killing of unarmed civilians that was his breaking point.  At least that's what I got out of it.  Most of Rey's knowledge kinda made sense considering her scavenger/survivalist background.  I assume she's familiar with how spaceship parts work.  As for the Jedi stuff, she still comes across as an amateur especially her lightsaber form.

From what I've gathered, the Starkiller base seems to be a better reworking of an EU idea.

Janitor to stormtrooper makes sense to you? It'd be like making Dave Lister a marine.

In all fairness, we never got the full story.

[Imrahil]

It's just not that good, guys. I get that you're all glad it isn't the prequels, but I think time will show that this movie is seriously overrated right now.

So confident and self-righteous, and yet so many people don't care what you think.


I enjoyed your post until this bullshit.

Thanks for the unprovoked  ad hominem.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

 Don't regular soldiers do all the various tasks in the military?  A soldier doing janitorial duty is not the same as a janitor becoming a soldier.

As for Rey knowing how to deal with the technology on the starkiller, in the novel she recognized that the First Order was using the same technology as all the stuff she had been scavenging from the crashed empire ships.