Lines And Back Again

[Compound]

Wow. Just wow. Thrash? Conor? Could we get a count on how many riffs were in this?  I'm guessing something obscene like 1500 separate riffs. That's a lot. And did the guys miss a single running joke? (Okay, I didn't catch a What's Happening line. Nor a Daddy Day Care one. Nor Schnappi? Noooo! ) Anyway, some lines.

"The Juggalos are rather tame today"

"Leeeegolas."

"Grandma!"

The shoutouts to every actor who got a small role.

"Bunch together! They can kill more of us that way!"

"Lord Will of Helm!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP FRODO!"

"At least I'll die doing what I love. Staring at crates."

"This is how the Tea Party imagines itself."

"Pretty much Mafia goons at heart."

"Growl, growl, growl.Arr, arr, arr."

"Spiders are not kosher or halal."

"I was so close to curing cancer."

"It's the Arcade Fire! And they brought about half of their live band!"

"The fields run dark, but not with blood!"

"Orcs are just a total bunch of Samanthas."

"And he said that Voodoo Lounge was the best Rolling Stone album!"

"Those are actually from Large Earth."

The baby elephant walk segment.

"Garsh. She's a swordy lady."

"Gymkata!"

"Zac Efron?"

"And security brings me down with a llama tranquilizer."

"It's raining orcs! Hallelugh!"

"Birdemic! Get the coat hangers!"

"Fro versus the Volcano!"

"Wheeee! I'm Hans Gruber!"

"They did whaaaat?"

"Oh my eye!"

The El Kabong noise. Wow.

"I hope he didn't ask Frodo to be his ringbearer."

[ShadowDog]

I liked the Fringe shoutout even though they're dead wrong about it being an X-Files ripoff.

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

[LucasM]

"Talking horses make nice, silent glue."

"This is how the Tea Party imagines itself."

"Suddenly I'm hungry for Hershey's kisses."

"Lava-Nagila"

"I just hope he didn't ask Frodo to be his ring-bearer."

[DezzyRex]

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

Not that I know of, though I'm guessing the explanation would probably be something like "Gandalf, a.k.a. Incánus, a.k.a. Mithrandir, a.k.a. Olórin, a.k.a. Tharkûn, a.k.a. Magneto, used his staff to channel the light of the sun to drive off the fell beasts the first time, for the clouds Sauron had sent forth to ease the passage of his orcish forces had not yet covered the city in a second darkness and some sort of barbecue sauce.  Thereafter, once the clouds had covered the battlefield, the sun's light was no longer strong enough to be used in such a manner again."

Just a wild guess.  But it's probably best not to dwell on such questions lest the inevitable question arise, namely..."Why in the name of Ilúvatar didn't Gandalf just summon Gwaihir the giant eagle again when they were all in Rivendell and FLY over to Mount Doom to drop the ring in?  The Nazgûl were still horsebound at that point and other than those guys, Mordor seems to be pretty lacking in the aerial defense department, especially since the giant eagles seem to be pretty darn good at stealth, given that nobody ever seems to notice them approaching until they're right on top of the enemy!"

[ShadowDog]

As guesses go though, that sun thing made a sort of sense.

"Talking horses make nice, silent glue."

Yeah, I laughed out loud at that one.

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

"Except you, Sam. Grow a pair, fatty"

[stansimpson]

Many mentioned already here.  Many I've forgotten.  I did a Google search on Vada Sultenfuss' mention.  Yeah, my mind was sufficiently blown.

The part where Kevin (or maybe it was Bill) was riffing that guy running in battle:  "The Good Humor man is here! ... Somebody get me a Toasted Almond."  Then I kept cracking myself up imagining the riff ending with a trail off:  "TOOOOASTED... ALMOOOOoooonnnnd!!!!!!"

Ok, so during the Steward of Gondor / Pippin's song scene, Kevin says "You wound me, sir."  I've been trying to track down the original quote.  I guessed it was Shakespeare, but my research doesn't show any connection.  Only thing I found close was this guy.  Appropriate for the scene, but it sounds like it should be something else.  Some help here?

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

I remember hearing that Ian McKellen asked Peter Jackson why Gandalf wouldn't use his magic staff.  Jackson jokingly responded, "The batteries died." 

I actually thought about what the movie would be like had he used it.  Then I thought it'd be too ridiculous watching Gandalf running around from parapet to parapet trying to blind a Nazgûl.  The first time, the troops just needed those things off their backs.  Having them descend on Minas Tirith, I don't think it would've made much difference cuz they'd just come right back.  Uh oh.  Nerd quotient filled for the day.  Later, folks.

[Lemming Howard]

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

You won't find the answer in the books because the flying Nazgul never wrought the havoc on the battlefield in the way they were portrayed in the movie.  The riders scared the hell out of anybody who saw them but the creatures they rode were not used to attack men except maybe Theoden's horse.  Jackson took a lot of liberties to make this movie.

[jindar]

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

Answer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j61kIL334X8

Best lines:

"So whenever you guys are done, we'd like a turn bouncing on the bed as well."

"Whatever you do, don't think about Stay-puffed Marshmellows"

"Mordor opened another new casino. Now Gondor's tourism is going to tank"

"Now to finish the last Twilight book"

"Because Gimli doesn't count non-white humans"

[Cosmic Muse]

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

My best guess is that with Helm's Deep it was because Saruman's magic was in control of that Orc army and not as powerful as Gandalf because he let himself be seduced by Sauron. With Minas Tirith it was because they were facing the full might of the Dark Lord Sauron himself.

[Moca Java]

HOBBIT HOOUUUSSSSE! (that had me rolling).

It was all a dream. Patrick Duffy's in the shower.

(Upon seeing Arwen) Another Legolas, only less feminine.

The Driveshaft jokes.

All the bits about the movie being almost over.

[Maverick Joe Six-Pack]

Theodan's slumber parties were known for their generous bed times and grape drink. 

[stansimpson]

"Whatever you do, don't think about Stay-puffed Marshmellows"

  I forgot, that is def one of my fave jokes! 

Really liked the running gag about the White Wizard not using his lighty power to run off the dragons the second time.  And seriously, what the hell?  Was it explained in the book why he couldn't do that again?

Answer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j61kIL334X8

I like how this has been answered like 4 times now but people keep on wanting to put their 2 cents in.  No wait... I don't like it.     What a buncha nerds.

[jindar]

Well I actually have the clip, so there. 

I showed it to my friend today and the Jeff Dunham reference floored him. He's a huge fan.

[stansimpson]

Well I actually have the clip, so there. 

Exactly.  Watch the clip people!  What other evidence do you need!?

I showed it to my friend today and the Jeff Dunham reference floored him. He's a huge fan.

My bro's a big fan too.  I'm def gonna show him that!  Haha.  Thanks for reminding me.