Now available

[Thrashalla]

http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/drawing-beginners-rectangle



Can genius be taught? It is one of the great philosophical questions. With enough time, patience, and dedication, can the next Van Gogh be created? Or is the mastery of an artistic discipline something that only a few people are born with the inherent capacity for? The producers of the series Drawing for Beginners believe that a great artist lurks inside all of us, and with the proper attention and guidance, it may one day emerge like a beautiful butterfly, to bestow artistic gifts unto humanity the likes of which the world has never seen.

Step one? Rectangles! Four lines, four right angles. Sounds easy right?  WRONG! Improperly drawn rectangles are the second most common mistake witnessed by elementary school art teachers, right behind birds in the shape of lower case m's which most biologists agree make no evolutionary sense. It turns out rectangles are the foundation of all art. Don't believe us? What do the Mona Lisa, American Gothic and The Scream all have in common? Innovations in painted light, aerial perspective and irony? WRONG! The answer is rectangular frames! The next time you're in the Sistine Chapel, why don't you look up at the ceiling and tell us what shapes you see up there. Hint: not rhombuses. Still don't believe us? Pull a DVD off your shelf. Yeah, that one will do. Wait, is that...you own What About Bob? on DVD? No, no, I'm not saying it's bad, it just doesn't seem like the kind of movie you'd really want to watch repeatedly. Well, saying it's a gift doesn't exactly explain it, the person who gave it to you would still have to assume that you would want to - LOOK, the point is, what shape is the box? A rectangle! Art! Rectangles! They just go together!

It therefore goes without saying that if you want to create art, you better damn well learn to draw your rectangles. And Drawing For Beginners: The Rectangle is as good a jumping off point as any...for weeding out the dullards who actually need instruction about drawing rectangles and who clearly have no business ever picking up an artistic implement of any type, lest they injure themselves or others. Maybe they'd be happier watching the Number Munchers demo screen.

Mike, Kevin and Bill take pen in hand and do some old fashioned rectanglin' in Drawing For Beginners: The Rectangle!

http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/drawing-beginners-rectangle

[jas722]

Bravo to whoever wrote up the description for this short

   

I laughed out loud a few times just reading it. Must......BUY.....NOW

[Rattrap007]

bought..

[Darth Geek]

I have $10,000+ worth of CAD at work so I can make 100% accurate theoretical CGI rectangles. Why would I want to draw them by hand?

[JimJ]

"Knobs may be eaten by Carl Pilkington, but only at night." 

Favorite Rifftrax reference EVER.

[stansimpson]

Bought.  Watched.  Loved.

This may be the first time (that I can recall anyway) where I'm the first on the board to give an opinion.  Cool.  Anyway, I thought it was hilarious.  The sample had me cracking up from beginning to end, and indeed, the short, as a whole, delivered the same way.  Most of the humor is along the same lines (pun!) as the sample.  Like (I think) Bill says, "What does that mean!?  I'm going to need a more rudimentary film to explain this!"  Deliciously mocking the narrator's condescending simpleness.     Absolutely love it.  I'm def gonna be revisiting this one many times.  Not sure how many would agree with me, but I would recommend it to anyone who loved the sample.  Excellent references too btw.  This short was the bright spot of a tumultuous day.  Thanks, guys!

[Rattrap007]

I too loved it. This is why I think the films aimed at younger kids (One got Fat, Safety, This, Little Scent, etc) work best as shorts. Why? They are kinda condescending most of the time and makes for great mocking.

[Thrifty]

I can't seem to checkout through PayPal for some reason.  I keep getting "Please enter an amount greater than zero." once I try to login after leaving the Rifftrax site.

[Compound]

Sounds like you have a credit on your account, Thrifty. You may need to click the "pay for this without using credit card" option.

[Thrifty]

Sounds like you have a credit on your account, Thrifty. You may need to click the "pay for this without using credit card" option.

Oh you're right.  I guess it's from my early guess in the last 20 questions game.  I didn't notice it, but I have $3.99 in gift certificate balance.

[Cosmic Muse]

Jeez, I never knew that drawing rectangles was such a cerebral, intellectually involved thing. I guess you have to have a pretty high IQ to grasp the importance of the rectangle in our lives. Why, I just wager it's more valuable than springs.

[Darth Geek]

Careful or Rectal, the rectangle sprite will taunt you and make your life a living hell.

[Rattrap007]

Careful or Rectal, the rectangle sprite will taunt you and make your life a living hell.

No rectangles! hehehehe

[Doctor Who?]

Who was this short made for any way?  It's too stupid for 3 year old.  Love the line about needing another film to explain this one.  Also the drawings looked nothing like the models and am I the only one who noticed the number of times they called a square a rectangle in this short?

[Compound]

Also the drawings looked nothing like the models and am I the only one who noticed the number of times they called a square a rectangle in this short?

Sorry, but I gotta do this.

Doc, a square *is* a rectangle. (And a parallelogram. And a rhombus.) It's a special form of a rectangle where the four sides are equal.   If you do a Venn diagram, the "square" circle will be completely inside the "rectangle" circle. It's like calling a pickup truck a car.  It may not be as specific as you like, but it's still accurate.