I just got some Pizza Rolls in the mail...

[RoninFox]

Hey I finally read the "rebuttal" to Red Letter Media's review of TPM, and... it was 108
pages of nothing. The guy who wrote it says he'll try to be fair, and he is fair.. selectively!
When he's not being "fair", he's going "okay, this guy is a dumbass" or "That is really,
really stupid", and he tries to back up his reasons, but then he seems to completely
miss the point of the argument or just doesn't seem to understand things at all.

Also, it wasn't 108 pages just of his Essay. a good chunk of it was quotes from RLM,
and there was a lot of imagery with thought or speaking bubbles filled with text in an
attempt to prove his point.

Never even heard of such a thing's existence. Sounds like I'm none the worse for my lac of knowledge.

[Russell]

Never even heard of such a thing's existence. Sounds like I'm none the worse for my lac of knowledge.

Guess I should provide the link, even if it loathes and behooves me to do so.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/49516899/Red-Letter-Media-s-Episode-I-Review-A-Study-in-Fanboy-Stupidity

[Watchman]

Never even heard of such a thing's existence. Sounds like I'm none the worse for my lac of knowledge.

Guess I should provide the link, even if it loathes and behooves me to do so.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/49516899/Red-Letter-Media-s-Episode-I-Review-A-Study-in-Fanboy-Stupidity

Everyone who buys the Blu-ray set gets a free copy of this essay.

[Russell]

Everyone who buys the Blu-ray set gets a free copy of this essay.

Well, it's honestly not so much an essay as it is a poorly conceived rant.

[Steve-O]

I gave up somewhere in the area of page 2, when the author demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of what constitutes an opinion.

[Rainbow Dash]

I gave up somewhere in the area of page 2, when the author demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of what constitutes an opinion.

I don't even think I made it that far.  While making very good and fair arguments, the red letter media review is a comedy.  This response is the true fanboy rage.

[Tripe]

Yes, it is.  It's very geeky.  So is making numerous video reviews of scifi movies, many of themwell over an hour long.

But that's over an hour (or at least close to an hour) of funny stuff. This thing is indeed funny, but not in the same sense.

[Russell]

But that's over an hour (or at least close to an hour) of funny stuff. This thing is indeed funny, but not in the same sense.

What did you think of the rebuttal Tripe? I personally think the writer is a misguided fan boy who
probably has his own little shrine to Lucas as some sort of God or something.

[Tripe]

Yeah that's my general feeling too, that and he could have used greater economy by just writing

Nu-uh!

under each of the parts from the review that he highlights.

[Russell]

Yeah that's my general feeling too, that and he could have used greater economy by just writing

Nu-uh!

under each of the parts from the review that he highlights.

The writer is also 14 years old. Barely a freshman in high school who probably doesn't even
have a basic understanding of good story-telling.

[Watchman]

I gave up somewhere in the area of page 2, when the author demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of what constitutes an opinion.

I don't even think I made it that far.  While making very good and fair arguments, the red letter media review is a comedy.  This response is the true fanboy rage.

I personally think the writer is a misguided fan boy who probably has his own little shrine to Lucas as some sort of God or something.

Yeah that's my general feeling too, that and he could have used greater economy by just writing

Nu-uh!

under each of the parts from the review that he highlights.

Never underestimate the power of denial. The great thing about denial is that, whether or not the Ep1 fanboy is in a true state of denial or he simply has subhuman standards for entertainment, people get really pissed off when you accuse them of being in denial.

I tried skimming through this rebuttal once, but it quickly became apparent to me that it really was more pathetic than amusing, and I was indeed wasting my time.

What's even more sad is that this rebuttal was written years after the theatrical release of TPM. As far as I'm aware, there were a substantial number of people who enjoyed TPM the first time around as part of collective audience buzz, but were more objective about the film years later; I've learned that peoples' initial reactions deserve some leeway. But this rebuttal ain't an initial reaction.

I think the best RLM review, though, is for Ep3. Some people can accuse Ep1 criticisms as preaching to the converted, but I love how the Sith review manages to go against "consensus" opinion whilst exposing the many similarities between all the prequels. Personally, I feel that most praise for Episode III was due to a collective Stockholm Syndrome of low expectations (don't mind me if you enjoy the film, I ain't gonna debate or insult you).

[Russell]

I hate to much like RLM try to come up with a fix for the prequels, because everything about them
is wrong, but however.... in a matter of hours, I came up with a few (very) rough ideas for a synopsis
for all three Star Wars prequels... I will put it in spoilers, so nobody has to read the whole damn thing
if they don't feel like it, but I feel like even if my ideas are stupid, they're still better than anything in the
prequels.

Star Wars episode 1: Fall of the Jedi
Synopsis
The ruler of a fledgling Empire commences an attack on Coruscant, endangering the lives of the senate. Only one survives: Palpatine. Meanwhile, a village on the other side of the planet has come under attack. Everyone is killed, except for one young man, who is just barely 17... Anakin Skywalker. While the soldiers patrol his village for survivors, he is forced to hold still and look deeply into his Mother's dead eyes. During this period of dark meditation, he develops force powers beyond anything ever known. He can see anyone's greatest fears just by looking into their eyes. Anakin comes to life, kills the soldiers there, and uses the force to try and revive his mother and father... but he cannot. He is too powerful with the dark side for now to use his powers to heal anybody. This will be important later.
The leader, calling himself The God of the Sith takes a new super weapon to the peaceful planet of Naboo, calling it Pathetic, he uses the weapon to drain all the power from the planet, turning it into a dead husk in space,  little more then an asteroid now. Unfortunately, the systems are overloaded, and it will take days to expend all the energy... so God of the Sith launches another attack on Coruscant.
The last remaining, and living Senator: Palpatine is forced into office even though he is (pretend) very reluctant to do so.
In the meantime, Obi-Wan is sent on his first mission to discover survivors in Anakin's village on Coruscant. Anakin wants to attack him, but Obi-Wan calms his mind. Obi-Wan recognizes the potential he has and offers him the chance to join the ranks of the Jedi. Anakin is incensed, refusing, asking him where the jedi were when his mother was killed. Obi-Wan reveals that even he regrets leaving his parents to train, but that keeping connections with family is a personal decision for a Jedi. Anakin refuses, realizing that since  he is strong with the Dark side, being a Jedi would make him a fraud. He refuses, but he and Obi-Wan become fast, true friends. They return to the capital, when the ship, now known as a Star Destroyer, returns to permanently destroy Coruscant.
Palpatine urges all pilots to attack the ship and destroy it and bring in the "God of the Sith"
Anakin is encouraged by Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan says he will do whatever he can from the surface.
Anakin, on a transport to the nearby hanger meets a friend.... He wears the Armor of Mandalore, his name is Boba Fett. Anakin learns that Boba is a war orphan and that Boba is an optimist who wants to protect the Galaxy. This, they have in common... at first.
Unfortunately, dealing with freeing slaves and many thousands of injustices, most of the Jedi are scattered and are incapable of returning to Coruscant in time to deal with the threat.
Anakin 's impressive piloting and marksmanship skills easily disable even the numerous defenses of the Star Destroyer
Anakin and Boba are the only pilots who manage to get past the defenses of the Star Destroyer... they board the ship and They quickly get to the command center only to find the God of the Sith has abandoned the ship to his Apprentice, Darth Maul. Darth Maul ignites his saber, and as Anakin is about to do the same... Darth Maul is disintegrated by Boba Fett's blaster. Anakin screams, but realizes this would have been Maul's fate anyway. Anakin directs the ship away from Coruscant with the power of the force and Boba Fett helps Anakin get away in his ship, Slave 1.
Slave one loses its engines and Anakin is knocked unconscious. Fett tries to Regain controls.... But he is aware that this will be his final mission. Slave 1 lands softly as Yoda appears and gently sets the ship down.
Anakin smiles and thanks Boba for his help. He asks if Boba wishes to share in the glory. Boba, seeing death up close, wishes to go off alone and hunt for credits, rather than glory. He humbly tells Anakin to take all the credit, like he should. Obi-Wan is proud of his friend, who is a friend, and not an apprentice. Obi-Wan is optimistic that one day Anakin will let go his Darkness.
Anakin is praised as a hero by the new Governor Tarkin and President Palpatine. He is given a hero's welcome, and shares flirtatious glances with Senator Lara organa.
The end

Episode 2: The Dark Side
Synopsis
Anakin is still on the hunt for the God of the Sith, now known as Darth Solius. We open to the deep Blackness of space, where Hundreds of new Star Destroyers have gathered. They unfortunately do not have the ridiculous power of the prototype star destroyer, but that makes them no less dangerous.
Obi-Wan catches up with Anakin on a corellian transport. The two are happy to see each other and share a friendly  handshake and even hug. Obi_Wan can sense darkness from Anakin, darkness that disturbs him deeply.
President Palpatine goes to his private quarters and communicates with somebody... Darth Solius.
"I have thoroughly researched the family line of Skywalker, and he is the one we have been searching for all these centuries my lord."
"Very good, you know what to do... mister president(sarcastic), do it."
Anakin finally feels he is closing in on his prey. He requests that the Transport land on Korriban
Obi-Wan urges him not to go, for Korriban is the realm of everything dark side. They are met with an invisible force tearing apart the ship... Anakin tries to jump but Obi-wan Grabs him.
"I won't let you go kid! Not after all we've been through!"
"Let me go old man, I can face any challenge myself!"
"I want to go with you... but my friends won't survive unless I stay."
"Then go, I will message for you!"
Obi-wan lets go, Anakin slows his Descent by summoning the winds under his robes... it is actually a short drop, even by the estimation of a normal person.
Anakin follows the Darkness to its source... He sees the old Sith Lord Darth Revan is still alive, Revan can move quite fast despite the bulky, heavy robes he is wearing. Anakin demands answers, but Revan answers only with a lightsaber. Anakin fights with the infernally challenging and silent Revan, who is so powerful, so quick that even Anakin can barely keep up. Anakin finally pulls out the stops and stabs Revan through the heart.
Revan falls to the ground. Anakin smiles grimly upon seeing his victory. He goes over to remove the mask of Revan... it is Anakin's mother. She was revived and sent here to kill Anakin. The only one who could have done it is another Jedi though.
"I'm... sorry my son."
Anakin loses his mind, he mentally destroys himself. Obi-Wan can sense his pain, as can Yoda, who is light years away. Yoda senses the danger, and communicates across the endless void of space the Danger they may face... not knowing that it's not just coming from Anakin.
Obi-Wan demands they land to rescue Anakin
"Obi-Wan... I killed my mother"
"Anakin, please rest now... you cannot carry this burden without help."
"I'm... a murderer obi-wan..."
Obi-Wan feels deeply for his friend. Anakin doesn't want to believe it, but the Jedi are involved in the death of his mother.
"Why did the Jedi attack my village?!" Demands Anakin. Obi-Wan admits that is the only explanation, and learns that through a forbidden force technique probing Anakin's mind that Mace Windu ordered the deaths of all the villagers, that they all carry the blood of the dark side. But Mace Windu is not completely at fault. Mace's mind was under complete control by Darth Solius from worlds away... Anakin believes this himself.
Obi_Wan meets with Yoda, and demands answers. Yoda, at disbelief admits this whole situation is his own fault, and that perhaps he is getting too old to recognize all the potential dangers around him all the time.
Anakin in the meantime has disappeared. He goes to Mace Windu's home, only to find he is already dead. 
Anakin goes to the home of Lara Organa. There, Anakin gets to know her a little better after their initial tryst(off-screen), and learns Lara was secretly married to a man who is on the Jedi Council. Anakin wants to know who he is, but she insists that he leave, that he is scaring her. Anakin leaves for where he senses Darth Solius now... Mustafar.
Anakin finds Darth Solius standing on top of an ancient Jedi pyramid on the surface of the lava filled planet.
"I have you now, Solius."
Anakin tries to force choke Darth Solius, but it does not work. Anakin in horror realizes Darth Solius is not so much a Sith Lord as he is a literal vacuum for the power of the force.
"Who is your master?" Demands Anakin, as he ignites his lightsaber.
Darth Solius laughs, and lifts Anakin off the ground 30 feet with the invisible hand of the force with barely any mental effort exerted.
"I am the Dark Side Anakin! Anytime I want I can channel everything to myself, robbing you of all your precious powers, without which you are a useless child!"
Anakin however, manages to break free, lands and breaks one of his legs. Darth Solius feigns with laughter, but Anakin is somehow overcoming his powers as well.
"What?! NO, I AM....GOD!!!"
"This is for my mother!" Anakin lunges at Solius with his saber and cuts off his head. The body disintegrates and a new power enters Anakin's body.
There is another presence as a ship lands quickly in front of Anakin as he comes down off the Pyramid. Anakin is surprised to see Lara Organa.
"Anakin! What have you done?!"
"I have rid this Galaxy of a Tyrant my dear senator."
"No, it isn't that. You've failed, and fallen to the Dark Side. You've become what you hate, what you behold."
Anakin yells "What would you know about it?!"
Lara ignites a lightsaber. "I knew I shouldn't have spent that one night with you... I could sense your darkness but I loved your confidence and love of justice, but underneath all that, you let your dark side kill you, overcome the good man that you could have been. I have been a fool, allowing myself to fall for you."
Anakin rubs her shoulders.
"I.... I don't know what to say lara... I am sorry."
If you Truly are sorry, then you can go back up there and prove your worth.
Anakin takes on a whole different persona, that of intense arrogance. He goes to the top of the pyramid and leaps off into the Lava below... Just before he hits, his confidence isn't enough to support his power to shield the Lava from killing him so he is burnt horribly by the Lava... until he goes through the final depths of the lava and falls into a secret place that even Darth Solius couldn't reach. He crawls slowly to find an ancient mask... an Ancient mask of the Sith, something so powerful that even its creator couldn't bear to wear it for fear of being overcome by intense darkness. Anakin took the artifact and put it over his face. Immediately his wounds no longer hurt, he felt no longer hindered by the meaningless factors of gravity, fire, water, air, and not even Death.
Lara returns to the ship with her Husband... obi-wan. She apologizes for betraying him with Anakin. Obi-Wan understands, but his old friend isn't his greatest fear now... what he fears is something that will change their lives for the worse.... They fly off, leaving to an uncertain future.

Episode 3: Darth Vader
Obi-Wan goes to the chambers of the Jedi council, breaking in to confront  the Jedi who have perverted the ideals of their philosophy. This leaves Obi-Wan, Lara, and Yoda as the only Jedi left. Obi-wan and his unfaithful wife Lara fight against the corrupt Jedi. Yoda uses his meditation to help Yoda and Lara win the battle.
President Palpatine, using Governor Tarkin as a figurehead, now declares the Jedi as dangerous to society on Coruscant and orders them banished. Knowing that Anakin may be close behind, the two leave. Anakin in his new armor that he has ordered his subordinate robots to create to integrate into his body, comes to confront the Emperor.
Vader: Give me a reason why I shouldn't kill you right now Palpatine.
Palpatine, on the floor after a flourish of force powers thrown at him from Vader, pleads that under the Republic his mother was killed and used against him by the Jedi. Anakin realizes that even if the emperor and Darth Solius was in cahoots, the emperor is right, if people are to be protected from Massacres, there must ironically be fear in the populous under the iron fist of an Empire.
Vader: Very well President, for now, I will serve you.
Palpatine: Where are the Jedi now?
Vader: I do not know, master. Obi-Wan and Lara are beyond my sight because of the Jedi known as Yoda.
Palpatine: Hmmm, it is of little concern. The Jedi are scattered and powerless, leaderless. I want you to travel the galaxy and bring all apprentices to me!
Vader: As you wish, president.
Vader's story plays out much like "The Force Unleashed", and Darth Vader is surprised to find this entire empire with thousands of ships built. He returns to one last planet, Mandalore where many slaves are kept.
He demands that they give up all the Jedi or he will destroy everything. They laugh, and Darth vader says his line "The ability to destroy everything is insignificant, next to the power of the force!"
Darth vader uses the force to bring one of the orbiting moons between the planet and its sun, creating an eclipse that will last until they agree to accede to his demands. They give up the last jedi, and Vader returns with them as prisoners.
Meanwhile. Obi-Wan and Lara hold their two children. The doctor told them that both children came from Different fathers, but the Doctor couldn't tell which child came from which father. Obi-Wan pondered this.... While he despised everything that transpired with his old friend becoming a mortal Enemy, he wanted the son to retain what was great about Anakin. Thus, the children were named Luke Skywalker, and Leia Organa... but they'll never know if Luke was Anakin's son or if it was Leia.... Obi-Wan decided that some secrets are best kept never spoken of.
Obi-Wan and Yoda discuss how they may retake the republic from the Grasp of Vader and the Emperor, but they are all out of options and Yoda proclaims one day, when the time is right the circumstances and the balance of the force will make things come together.Yoda insists though that he will only train the children if they want it more than anything in the universe. After all, Yoda says "Getting too old for this shit, am I."
Obi-Wan smiles, shakes the hand of his old friend and they part, presuming never to meet again....
The end.

[Tripe]

We actually had a thread once where we were creating a more acceptable version of the prequels. I thought what we came up with had potential, if it weren't for fear of legal action I think it'd make an interesting audioplay.

[Sideswipe]

I say go for it, as long as you aren't trying to profit from it.  There are tons of Star Wars audiodramas out there on the internet.

[Watchman]

I've always wanted to ask this but never felt it deserved its own thread...

Has anyone ever experimented with:

A.) Misplacing Rifftrax: For example, playing TPM Rifftrax over another movie, or vice versa?
-OR-
B.) Rifftrax + DVD Commentary: For example, playing TPM Rifftrax simultaneously with George Lucas' commentary.

I tried B once for a few minutes, I forget what movie. It was kind of amusing, but it didn't fully work. However, I'm fairly convinced that the right combo could result in something as fruitfully synchronous as The Wizard of Oz + Dark Side of the Moon.