List the top 10 films you'd want riffed

[DU HASTE]

After consideration and consultation, I am altering my top ten list. I just watched National Treasure. My brain... it hurts...

My top ten:
Hellboy (Oh, crap. Forgot the damn plot...)
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (The league ish asshembled. Yesh.)
Virtuosity (He's a composite of over a thousand serial killers. But still has no personality.)
National Treasure (Ben Franklin kept his best stash in a secret corncob pipe.)
Super Mario Bros. (If this movie makes less than fifty dollars, it'll bomb! Too late.)
Alone in the Dark (Don't leave this one alone... in the dark. My bro and I riffed this movie once. It's fun as hell!)
Titan A.E. (You can't defeat the Drej, they're pure energy! And yet, we're all feeling drained.)
Jurassic Park 3 ("Did you hear that? Run, it's a dinosaur! We're safe. Did you hear that? Run, there's a dinosaur! We're safe. Did you hear that?" Honestly, it's practically a drinking game.)
The Scorpion King ("*sings*... LIKE A ROCK!")
The Mummy/The Mummy Returns (It is a Brendan Fraser movie. 'Nuff said.)

Other suggestions:
Beastmaster (Maalox? Did he say his name was Maalox?"
Taxi (Q. How can a movie filled with supermodels go so wrong? A. Queen Latifah.)
I, Robot (I, nautious)
Escape from LA (Escape from success)
Baby Geniuses (Shoulda let the freakin babies write it)
Donnie Darko (Donnie Dorko)
Solaris (In space, no one can hear this movie. I wanna go!)
Dawn of the Dead, remake (Why are the zombies all on crack?)

I'm sure I can think of more. Let me turn the TV on.

Tomb Raider (Like Indiana Jones, but more jiggly)
The Wild Wild West (Barry Sonnenfeld's version. Giant steam-powered walking spiders? Check, please)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Too painful... soapy pre-teen drama... why doesn't the evil wizard KILL them already?!?)

I gotta stop now. I think I'm having an anuerism.

beautiful list yet despressing when I look at my dvd collection and realize I own half the list!
May I add....
Jumaniji.(that was one butt ugly child actor that turned into one butt ugly man ...robin williams)
All the Pirates movies  ...I just left the movie thinking all the pirates could survive without women
and lastly THE HULK  I would rather chance it and watch the tv shows as an adult on the hopes it was as good as i remembered.
wait ANY movie with Hallle Barry and  Sharon Stone including catwoman

[trish01]

As for me I'd have to say that these would be my top ten.

• Star Trek Nemesis (more plot holes and old script recycling than story)
  
• Spider-man 3 (Venom got shat on)
• X-Men 3 (*cough* character development *cough*)
• Raise the Titanic
• Total Recall (Arnold Schwarzenegger on Mars. What more do you need ?)
• Mission Impossible 2 (Tom Cruise did it to us twice, and then once more after that!)
• Star Trek The Motion Picture (Oh crap! We remembered the 500 beauty shots but we forgot the script!)
• Oh Her Majesty's Secret Service (George Lazenby's single outing as James Bond. Probably not surprising considering that before he did the film he was a car salesmen)
• Die Another Day (Mr. Kill.... Yeah.......)
• I, Robot (a.k.a. I, Product Placement)

[Zardoz!]

How about "The wild wild west"?

Ghawd I was actually rooting for Lovelace in that one....

[TinyKnickers]

Hey, I LIKED Hellboy! Doesn't mean it couldn't be riffed, though.
Gotta put out the word (I did on the first page too) on "In the Name of the King."
Get this cast (OK, medieval movie...) Burt Reynolds as the king, Jason Statham as some kind of warrior, Ray LIOTTA as a sorcerer!?!?!? WTF!?!?! I think John Rhys-Davies and our friend Hellboy are in there somewhere oo. Word is that it's as INSTANT dreck classic, with dialogue that would gag a maggot.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

1)War
2)Death Sentence
3)I, Robot
4)Hellboy
5)Saw
6)Donnie Darko
7)TMNT
8)Queen of the Damned
9)Alien vs Predator: Requiem (do these have to be movies that are already on DVD, or can they be ones that will be out this year?)
10)Resident Evil

(I don't hate these films with a fiery passion, nor do I want them riffed because they are bad, I want them riffed because they are fun, and probably easy to do)

[stansimpson]

7)TMNT

Just wondering if ya meant the 1990 version (which is what I suspect) or the 2007 cartoon movie that goes strictly by the title TMNT?

[RoninFox]

7)TMNT

Just wondering if ya meant the 1990 version (which is what I suspect) or the 2007 cartoon movie that goes strictly by the title TMNT?

Either one of them might be possible, though I think the older version (and especially the sequels) would be better riffing material, though the new one would be easier for people to obtain. 

[stansimpson]

7)TMNT

Just wondering if ya meant the 1990 version (which is what I suspect) or the 2007 cartoon movie that goes strictly by the title TMNT?

Either one of them might be possible, though I think the older version (and especially the sequels) would be better riffing material, though the new one would be easier for people to obtain. 

I would love to see the '90 version done way more than the new cartoon.  The Secret of the Ooze would be even better (or certainly more riff worthy).  The third one is....... sorry... I can't talk about it without going into violent convulsions.

[RoninFox]

7)TMNT

Just wondering if ya meant the 1990 version (which is what I suspect) or the 2007 cartoon movie that goes strictly by the title TMNT?

Either one of them might be possible, though I think the older version (and especially the sequels) would be better riffing material, though the new one would be easier for people to obtain. 

I would love to see the '90 version done way more than the new cartoon.  The Secret of the Ooze would be even better (or certainly more riff worthy).  The third one is....... sorry... I can't talk about it without going into violent convulsions.

I can't even remember the third one beyond the fact that it involved time travel and for some reason all the turtles had chicken pox.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

7)TMNT

Just wondering if ya meant the 1990 version (which is what I suspect) or the 2007 cartoon movie that goes strictly by the title TMNT?

Either one of them might be possible, though I think the older version (and especially the sequels) would be better riffing material, though the new one would be easier for people to obtain. 

I would love to see the '90 version done way more than the new cartoon.  The Secret of the Ooze would be even better (or certainly more riff worthy).  The third one is....... sorry... I can't talk about it without going into violent convulsions.

I can't even remember the third one beyond the fact that it involved time travel and for some reason all the turtles had chicken pox.

Doesn't matter to me, when I typed it, I was thinking the new one with the voice over by Lawrence Fishburne, but any of them would be good.

also I'd like to add Doom to my list

[gbeenie]

7)TMNT

Just wondering if ya meant the 1990 version (which is what I suspect) or the 2007 cartoon movie that goes strictly by the title TMNT?

Either one of them might be possible, though I think the older version (and especially the sequels) would be better riffing material, though the new one would be easier for people to obtain. 

I would love to see the '90 version done way more than the new cartoon.  The Secret of the Ooze would be even better (or certainly more riff worthy).  The third one is....... sorry... I can't talk about it without going into violent convulsions.

I can't even remember the third one beyond the fact that it involved time travel and for some reason all the turtles had chicken pox.

Interestingly enough, real turtles make lousy pets for kids because they carry so many diseases....

[Booje K]

10. Ghost
9.  Rocky IV
8.  Jaws: The revenge
7.  Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo
6.  8 Seconds
5.  The Vanishing
4.  Phone Booth
3.  The Edge
2.  Ice Pirates
1.  Convoy


As you can see there is a Keifer Sutherland streak there in the middle. 

[ApacheMan2K]

1. The Cat in the Hat
2. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
3. Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie
4. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
5. Jurassic Park III
6. Toys
7. Son of the Mask
8. Pet Shop
9. Prehysteria!
10. Spy Kids

[weepel]

10 - V For Vendetta
9 - Men In Black
8 - Event Horizon
7 - From Dusk 'Till Dawn
6 - The Evil Dead
5 - Pulp Fiction
4 - Once Upon a Time In Mexico
3 - The Wild, Wild West
2 - The Transporter
1 - X3

[orionpaxxx]

In no particular order

Footloose (Kevin Bacon and kenny Loggins? This may well be the apocalypse) 
Tomb Raider (Boobs alone aren't a movie....well not this kind of movie     
Jaws (I think its time to go back in the water) 
The Passion of The Christ (Does this mean I am going to hell?) 
Pearl Harbor (Michael Bay does his version of Titanic) 
Forrest Gump (Why yes my life is like a box of chocolates. Its Nuts!) 
E.T. (All this for some Reese's Pieces?) 
Basic Instinct (Kinda gives you the heebie jeebies just thinking about it) 
2001 A Space Odyssey (Yawn....hmmm what.....sorry dozed off).
Flash Gordon (The ultimate in cheesey satisfaction!!)