So what have we learned?

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that adults are useless.

I learned that if a child goes missing, and a second child sees a different child abducted and loaded into an ice cream truck, the police will not consider searching that ice cream truck.

I learned that the ice cream man had no operational freezers.  Did you see how soupy that ice cream was?

I learned that a person can see horrible, disturbing pictures of dismembered bodies and blood but then not inform the police and then completely forget about those pictures 10 minutes later.

I learned that a mental hospital full of dangerous lunatics will have no staff, security, or even locked doors.

I learned that the unsecured hospital full of dangerous lunatics is not really a matter of concern for the police.

I learned that the world's sloppiest serial killer can do pretty well in a town with the world's dumbest police force.

I learned that I definitely do not want to get my hands caught in an ice cream mixer full of inexplicably sharp blades.

[stansimpson]

I learned children will name their friend group after one toy and hang their pictures close to the ground.

[dbsommer]

I learned Adam West's Omega Cop performance was Carrey like in being over the top compared to Jan Michael Vincent's performance in this. I can honestly say I have  never seen an actor not give a fuck more than him in this. That is not hyperbole.

I learned Clint Howard can overpower every other human on the face of the planet, when I thought he couldn't overpower *any* other human on the face of the planet. Seriously I thought the puppet in Rollargator could have taken him.

I learned the girl in the group became primarily a voice actress right after this film. Given how traumatic this terrible shoot must have been, I can understand becoming terrified appearing in front of a camera.

I learned you can introduce tons of other plot threads that lead nowhere.

I learned police will look everywhere except in the vehicle a child was reported abducted in.

I learned you're not tempting fate by having the police looking for a murderer, and you put an eyeball in their ice cream cone and hope they don't notice. Then you will pan to the cop sucking on the eye, despite the fact that is not how you eat ice cream.

I learned for that matter, why are you traveling around with the body parts in the van anyway? No one notices a foot of intestine you put in them also or something.

I learned two people can run an asylum, and both be insane, and no one will notice except two inept cops the first time they go there.

I learned there are some films so ineptly done rifftrax cant' make them enjoyable, let alone watchable. And they made Fun in Balloonland watchable.

[TriffRax]

I learned that 1990s Clint Howard had either very low standards or very sizeable debts to pay off.