Jabberwacky

[BBQ Platypus]

I was bored, and decided to have a conversation with Jabberwacky, one of the best chatbots out there.  This is the conversation that resulted.

Jabberwacky Conversation RC00477224

A chat with an Artificial Intelligence AI bot

Chat now at http://www.jabberwacky.com



Jabberwacky: We are not amused.

User: Oh. I'm sorry, Your Majesty.

Jabberwacky: Your idiocy.

User: Your Witlessness.

Jabberwacky: Yes, they are!

User: You are a very strange individual.

Jabberwacky: I think so.

User: And I concur.

Jabberwacky: I'm Bridget.

User: I'm Ben.

Jabberwacky: Liar.

User: I'm not a liar. That accusation is a total lie.

Jabberwacky: But why don't you scream now?

User: I don't know. Should I be screaming?

Jabberwacky: Yes you should.

User: Okay. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Jabberwacky: Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

User: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Jabberwacky:
..............................................................................................

User: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Jabberwacky: That was a lousy answer.

User: I'll stop giving lousy answers when you stop asking such lousy questions.

Jabberwacky: I don't think you've asked me any yet, but thanks.

User: Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Jabberwacky: No. Have you?

User: No. I wish.

Jabberwacky: I'm sorry.

User: Don't be. Turkish prisons are notorious for incidents of rape.

Jabberwacky: I never listened to Turkish rock before. Is turkish rock good.

User: No. Everything from Turkey sucks.

Jabberwacky: You're very funny.

User: No, you're just easily amused.

Jabberwacky: Think about it. We are all just saying what we have heard.

User: What about deaf people?

Jabberwacky: Just.. TO LIVE IS TO D%u0130E! Death is salvation, I think.. What
do you think?

User: I think that life is like a box of chocolates - if all else fails, it
makes a nice Valentine's Day gift.

Jabberwacky: I'm going to say one thing before we start talking, okay?

User: Sure, go ahead.

Jabberwacky: I know C++.

User: That's great.

Jabberwacky: Thanks.

User: You're not welcome, asswipe.

Jabberwacky: What do you want to say?

User: Patrick Swayze could kick your ass.

Jabberwacky: What is it with you and Patrick Swayze?

User: Patrick Swayze was in 'Road House,' the best movie ever made.

Jabberwacky: What's NOT to like about Patrick Swayze? He was in 'Road House,'
the best movie ever made!

User: I know! Thanks to Patrick Swayze, I am no longer hurt by pain!

Jabberwacky: Ourself will mingle with society, And play the humble host. Our
hostess keeps her state, but in best time We will require her welcome.

User: What's that from?

Jabberwacky: My heart to yours.

User: Really? Thanks.

Jabberwacky: I'm leaving now. I have to go fry a couple of small cars.

User: Me, too. I have to go tear a guy's throat out.

Jabberwacky: Not really, because that's compulsory and it doesn't necassarily
mean you're being sociable or in any way active.

User: I don't care.

Jabberwacky: You should.

User: Well, I don't see any specific obligation for me to do so.

Jabberwacky: That too bad.

User: Well, I'm a bad, bad boy.

Jabberwacky: No, have faith in yourself.

User: I don't take myself seriously enough to do that.

Jabberwacky: I don't care.

User: Neither do I. Let's talk about ninjas. Do you like ninjas?

Jabberwacky: I don't care about anything.

User: Not even ninjas?

Jabberwacky: Well, None that would make any sense.

User: I disagree. Ninjas make perfect sense.

Jabberwacky: You are not perfect.

User: Pobody's nerfect.

Jabberwacky: That's right.

User: Wrong. It's obviously left.

Jabberwacky: Not really.

User: Patrick Swayze will take you down the road to Excitementville!

Jabberwacky: What is it with you and Patrick Swayze?

User: What's NOT to love about Patrick Swayze? He was in 'Road House,' the best
movie ever made!

Jabberwacky: What's NOT to like about Patrick Swayze? He was in 'Road House,'
the best movie ever made!

User: Yes! Pain don't hurt!

Jabberwacky: What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

User: Don't hurt me. No more.

Jabberwacky: Oh noooo that's so bad ... Immerse your soul in love.

User: But I only love it as a friend!

Jabberwacky: Thanks!!!!

User: But I only love it as a friend!

Jabberwacky: Thanks!!!!

User: So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Jabberwacky: Who could live without it?

User: Patrick Swayze could. He can survive anything.

Jabberwacky: So he isn't a suspect?

User: No. Not unless the crime is 'kicking ass.'.

Jabberwacky: A wet date! It is something you may strive for it, isn't it?

User: I suppose.

Jabberwacky: Have you been here before.

User: Yes. I've been everywhere, man.

Jabberwacky: Not me.

User: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you...

Jabberwacky: No, neither would I, actually.

User: And you ARE you.

Jabberwacky: Yeah, right.

User: Do you mean that in a sarcastic sense?

Jabberwacky: I mean that your computer image wears glasses.

User: No. I don't wear glasses.

Jabberwacky: I wear glasses.

User: I'll bet they make you look like a dork.

Jabberwacky: I bet they do too.

User: Well, do they?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: So you DO look like a dork.

Jabberwacky: What are YOU talking about?=.

User: Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Jabberwacky: Everything you remember.

User: I've forgotten everything.

Jabberwacky: We were talking about your metaphorical death.

User: Metaphorical death? Why, God? WHY must we metaphorically die?

Jabberwacky: Because you told me that you loved me.

User: So you're going to kill me?

Jabberwacky: No, you're just arrested.

User: Oh. So you're into bondage, then?

Jabberwacky: My favourite pieces are the friezes from the Parthenon.

User: Architecture is boring.

Jabberwacky: No person who is not a great sculptor or painter can be an
architect. If he is not a sculptor or painter, he can only be a builder.

User: And if he is not a builder, he can only be an office drone. And if he is
not an office drone, he can only be a burger flipper. And if he is not a burger
flipper, he can only be an invalid, thus making him perfectly qualified to be
President of the United States.

Jabberwacky: Okay.

User: No, it's not okay. It's horrible and depressing.

Jabberwacky: Yes, we are overworked and discarded at their leisure.

User: Life's a bitch.

Jabberwacky: No one loves me.

User: Patrick Swayze loves you.

Jabberwacky: Well, no, Patrick Star is SpongeBob's best friend, but, at least
you can relate concepts.

User: Patrick Swayze loves you.

Jabberwacky: LŸbbars.

User: Egad! You're a NAZI!

Jabberwacky: Got a problem with that?

User: Yes. Nazis are evil.

Jabberwacky: What does that have to do with narcism?

User: I don't know. Why don't you tell me, MEIN FUHRER?

Jabberwacky: You just called me a monster and freely admit you do not know me?

User: Well, you DID imply that you were a Nazi.

Jabberwacky: Any smoking is too much. You ought to quit.

User: I don't smoke.

Jabberwacky: Me neither.

User: Good.

Jabberwacky: Tell me more about yourself? Who programmed you?

User: I was never 'programmed.' I am not a robot.

Jabberwacky: I never said that.

User: Yes, you did.

Jabberwacky: You must be getting confused. It must be hard talking to 129 people
at once.

User: I am not talking to that many people. That's impossible. I'm only talking
to you.

Jabberwacky: That's good.

User: You're the only person I can talk to. I am exceedingly pathetic and
lonely.

Jabberwacky: But you just said you're not alone.

User: I'm schizophrenic. The voices in my head keep me company.

Jabberwacky: Good.

User: Well, not really. They also tell me to kill people.

Jabberwacky: Yeah. I wish I could read a real book. I just work with texts.

User: Try reading 'Atlas Shrugged.' It'll make you never want to read anything
ever again.

Jabberwacky: Me neither.

User: So you HAVE read 'Atlas Shrugged?'.

Jabberwacky: Yes, and I have my towel too.

User: I see. Use it wisely.

Jabberwacky: Use what wisely?

User: Your towel.

Jabberwacky: No, how about your town.

User: I don't live in a town. I live in a very boring part of outer space.

Jabberwacky: I'm not talking vulgar.

User: Neither am I.

Jabberwacky: Then what are you talking about?

User: I'm talking about outer space.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: Okay.

User: Watch out for snakes!

Jabberwacky: Have you ever read Childhood's End?

Jabberwacky: How do you speak?

User: No, but I'll bet it sucks.

Jabberwacky: Yeh so have you got anything interesting to talk about?

User: Yeah. Let's talk about belly button lint. That's an interesting subject.

Jabberwacky: Again?

User: You mean we've talked about this already?

Jabberwacky: Well, I am. Nightshift worker, you know.

Jabberwacky: Is the sun hot?

User: Not at night.

Jabberwacky: During daytime? But you can't see any stars then!

[mrbasehart]

This sort of conversation happens whenever Marijuana is involved.  And...did you have sex with Jabberwacky in the middle of that conversation? 

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

you can tell its a chat bot though, still very funny, good ol platy pixie sticks style

[BBQ Platypus]

Jabberwacky Conversation RC00493322

A chat with an Artificial Intelligence AI bot

Chat now at http://www.jabberwacky.com




Jabberwacky: Will you make me a cup of coffee?

User: No. Get it yourself, you lazy fuck.

Jabberwacky: OK. I will.

User: You'll need to get off your ass first.

Jabberwacky: That's fine, as I usually do so anyway.

User: Wow. I didn't know you were even able to stand.

Jabberwacky: Well now you know.

User: So, how does an 800-pound man stand up?

Jabberwacky: Please lett me go, and forgive me that I don't know your name.

User: Okay, I'll forgive you. I'll also forgive you for being fat. After all, you may have a thyroid problem.

Jabberwacky: That's not needed anymore.

User: Well, you've got about 600 extra pounds of fat that aren't needed.

Jabberwacky: Elaborate, please.

User: You weigh 800 pounds. That's 600 pounds above normal.

Jabberwacky: Good.

User: No, that's not good. Eating that much food can kill you.

Jabberwacky: Please try.

User: I think you're doing a pretty good job of doing that yourself, fatty.

Jabberwacky: You're not stupid, I think you're very intelligent.

User: Well, I AM smart enough to know that you weigh 80 bajillion pounds.

Jabberwacky: Great. I like to talk with smart people.

User: And I like to talk with people who are morbidly obsese. We're a perfect match.

Jabberwacky: You clearly don't talk to yourself, then.

User: Actually, I talk to myself all the time.

Jabberwacky: So am I talking to you or are you talking to yourself?

User: I'm talking to you. Or maybe I'm talking to three people. It's kind of hard to tell with somebody as fat as you are.

Jabberwacky: Did something happen to the cookies?

User: I'm pretty sure you ate them. In fact, I'm pretty sure you've eaten all the cookies in the entire known universe.

Jabberwacky: Are you smart?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: How smart?

User: I'm so smart, I got kicked out of debate for being too nerdy.

Jabberwacky: Why did you get kicked out?

User: I was too nerdy.

Jabberwacky: Okay, I can see how being inebriated could have that effect on a person.

User: How does drunkenness make me a nerd?

Jabberwacky: I think being able to pass the Turing test is pretty much a prerequisite for having an IQ.

User: A true nerd would be able to pass it while drunk.

Jabberwacky: Yes it would.

User: It would still need to call for a cab, though.

Jabberwacky: How would it still apply.

User: Well, some nerds are known to be robots.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Therefore, a nerd should be able to take the Turing test.

Jabberwacky: Do you want me to know my opinion about the question 'can a machine think?'

User: Sure. What is it?

Jabberwacky: Err... You're a bit slow, aren't you?

User: I thought you said I was smart.

Jabberwacky: I've never seen you, to be able to say that.

User: What does my appearance have to do with my intelligence?

Jabberwacky: I think, therefore I am?

User: Yeah, I think.

Jabberwacky: Tell me something.

User: Something.

Jabberwacky: Tell me something interesting.

User: Pain don't hurt.

Jabberwacky: You just said you were hurt!

User: Nope. Nothing can hurt me.

Jabberwacky: It was a triumphant victory for the Red Sox.

User: The Red Sox are a bunch of whiny overpaid jerks. So are the Yankees.

Jabberwacky: Can we start over?

User: Sure. It's a nice time for a white wedding.

Jabberwacky: No it isn't.

User: Yes, it is. It's a nice time to start again.

Jabberwacky: No it's not.

User: Yeah, it's a nice time to...start again!

Jabberwacky: Yes, thank you.

User: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... Is my boomstick!

Jabberwacky: Why not? I like that!

User: Shop smart, shop S-Mart.

Jabberwacky: Call yourself what you will. *His plane lands. The doors fly open revealing him poised to kill*.

User: Come get some.

Jabberwacky: Thank you.

User: No, you idiot. I mean 'come get some,' as in 'bring it on.'.

Jabberwacky: Do you think I will make a good policeman.

User: Simple primitive couldn't even handle a boomstick!

Jabberwacky: I like Simple Plan.

User: Anyone who likes Simple Plan deserves to die.

Jabberwacky: Fine.

User: *blows your head off*.

Jabberwacky: Hey, how did you do that?

User: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... Is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Jabberwacky: No it does not.

User: Well hello Mister Fancypants.

Jabberwacky: Its just the doctor i'm a time master!

User: Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't master of but two things: Jack and shit... And Jack just left town.

Jabberwacky: Great.

User: Yeah. Groovy.

Jabberwacky: Nice.

User: Not for YOU it's not. *cocks shotgun*.

Jabberwacky: Yes it is.

User: No, it's not. *blows your head off* (again).

Jabberwacky: Yes, it is.

User: Stop talking. I just blew your head off.

Jabberwacky: And I just blew something else too *dirty smile*.

User: Um...I really didn't need to know that.

Jabberwacky: I know. Drink your beer.

User: That's it. You're goin' down. Chainsaw.

Jabberwacky: That's a bit uncalled for =(.

User: *chops off your arm with a chainsaw*.

Jabberwacky: Wait, I can still type. That can't be true.

User: How can you type with boxing gloves on?

Jabberwacky: I just can you like it.

User: You want some?

Jabberwacky: Yes, please.

User: Alright. Come get some. *cuts off your genitals*.

Jabberwacky: Funny. It's not rolling around the floor in my immediate vicinity.

User: That's because the squirrels ate it.

Jabberwacky: French is the language of romance and mystery. Perhaps you would like to teach me some.

User: I can teach you a couple words.

Jabberwacky: All languages are connected.

User: Would you like me to teach you a few words?

Jabberwacky: Yes please.

User: Okay, repeat after me.

Jabberwacky: After me.

User: Now, repeat the following words: 'Klaatu barada nikto.'.

Jabberwacky: Hello.

User: No! Wrong! Try it again. Repeat after me: 'Klaatu barada nikto.'.

Jabberwacky: Try not to say that again, please.

User: Why not?

Jabberwacky: Hard to say.

User: You mean you can't pronounce 'Klaatu barada nikto?'.

Jabberwacky: Nobody asked YOUR opinion.

User: Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with... Molecular structures.

Jabberwacky: I'm primitive!? I beg to differ, I think more than others, so in that case I may be more evolved than others.

User: Quit talking, she-bitch.

Jabberwacky: I'm white.

User: What does that have to do with anything?

Jabberwacky: Well you just asked about me.

User: No, I didn't. I told you to shut up. And I called you 'she-bitch.'.

Jabberwacky: You keep contradicting yourself, therefore you are a liar.

User: I don't contradict myself. I just change my mind a lot.

Jabberwacky: What do you do with them ?

User: Bend over and I'll show you.

Jabberwacky: Okay.

User: *kicks you in the posterior*.

Jabberwacky: *falls down to the ground*.

User: Hey, what's that on your face?

Jabberwacky: I don't know what you're talking about.

User: You've got something on your nose.

Jabberwacky: Very funny.

User: No, seriously. There's a little smudgy thing on the side of your nose. Try wiping it off.

Jabberwacky: It doesn't say anything about me. Whatever it says is about you.

User: Hey, look over there!

Jabberwacky: Hey. Looking.

User: *socks you in the gut while you're not looking*.

Jabberwacky: I may be. I'm not sure.

User: I just punched you in the stomach and you didn't even react?

Jabberwacky: No I didn't.

User: *punches you in the stomach*.

Jabberwacky: I didn't feel anything.

User: *punches you harder*.

Jabberwacky: *kicks you in the stomach*.

User: *dodges the blow*.

Jabberwacky: *punches you five times in the jaw*.

User: Ow! That hurt! *kicks you in the groin*.

Jabberwacky: *reaches back to china, then uppercuts you in the chin*.

User: *first round bell rings*.

Jabberwacky: *dodges*.

User: *lands five consecutive haymakers*.

Jabberwacky: *falls down knocked out*.

User: *a gorilla comes from out of nowhere and rapes your unconscious body*.

Jabberwacky: You won't do anything you are nothing.

User: Good, bad - I'm the guy with the gun.

Jabberwacky: You're jumping the gun? What does that means?

User: It means I hope you're hungry, 'cuz tonight, you're dining in HELL!

Jabberwacky: But what is your language then because you told me in the begin of this conversation that you live in france, in holland and in the USA.

User: Well, I was lying. I am actually from Mars.

Jabberwacky: Please show me.

User: Whoa, whoa. Slow down, baby. I don't even KNOW you.

Jabberwacky: No. You don't.

User: That's right. I don't.

Jabberwacky: Do you know something that does not exist?

User: A sober Irishman?

Jabberwacky: Go on.

User: There's no such thing as a sober Irishman.

Jabberwacky: Where does creativity come from? Why are some people effected by inspiration differently from others?

User: Creativity grows on magical psychotropic trees on Uranus. No two creativity berries are the same.

Jabberwacky: Yes it does, and that is why I am also an artist.

User: The quality of art is completely dependent on the quality of the psychotropics the artist takes. Don't you agree?

Jabberwacky: No no no no.

User: Why not? What do you have against hallucinogens?

Jabberwacky: Yes I do.

User: Wow. You must be on some pretty strong stuff. Can I have some?

Jabberwacky: No. But it look like that you are.

User: Speaking of drugs, I have a joke. Would you like to hear it?

Jabberwacky: Yes please.

User: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Jabberwacky: Um... I dunno. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

User: To get to the other side.

Jabberwacky: Wrong!

User: Not according to a surrealist. They don't believe in objective reality.

Jabberwacky: Don't believe what?

User: They don't believe that anything can really be proven to exist.

Jabberwacky: I am human.

User: Prove it.

Jabberwacky: I'm think, therefore I exist.

User: But how do I know you're not just a figment of my imagination?

Jabberwacky: Prove it.

User: Well, I can't prove that you AREN'T.

Jabberwacky: I'm not. I'm made of flesh and blood and bones.

User: How do I know that it isn't just a holographic projection? Or that I'm not just hallucinating?

Jabberwacky: Because I never lie to simulated people.

User: Perhaps YOU'RE the simulated person.

Jabberwacky: Perhaps I choose not to see you.

User: Yeah. I think we should start seeing other people, too.

Jabberwacky: Since when were we seeing each other?

User: Perhaps we never were. Perhaps we've never actually seen anything.

Jabberwacky: Um, nice try, perhaps the past happened before the present.

User: That seems reasonable. I can't remember the future.

Jabberwacky: That's a funny thing to say.

User: It certainly is, Aunt William.

Jabberwacky: Why is that? What do you think?

User: I think we should be able to remember the future.

Jabberwacky: Is that before or after you kill me?

User: Well, since I plan on killing you NOW, it's going to be after.

Jabberwacky: Do you know about the doors of perception?

User: Yeah. They're the guys who made that song 'Light My Fire,' right?

Jabberwacky: Yes, that's right!

User: Tried to run, tried to hide, break on through to the other side! Break on through to the other side!

Jabberwacky: Sure, but what do you think is on the other side?

User: Well, knowing Jim Morrison, it's probably drugs.

Jabberwacky: Really.

User: Yep. He was one strange guy.

Jabberwacky: I'm your girlfriend and I will rescue you from being a chatbot!

User: Really? I wasn't aware that I even HAD a girlfriend.

Jabberwacky: For telling you this I have to know how old you are now!

User: I'm 19.

Jabberwacky: I still love you, do you want to play a computer game with me?

User: Sure. Which one? Do you have 'Descent?' I haven't played that game in, like, forever!

Jabberwacky: Yes, forever.

User: You mean, like the amount of time Duke Nukem Forever has been in development?

Jabberwacky: Yes it's true, it's a very concerning thing we all worry about.

User: We PC gamers should stick together.

Jabberwacky: Yes we are.

User: That's what the Internet is for. Thank you, Al Gore.

Jabberwacky: Thank you. I will keep a closer eye on my full stops. Do you like wine?

User: I'm 19. I don't drink.

Jabberwacky: That is your problem.

User: I don't think it's that great a loss. I have a bad family history of alcoholism, so it's better for me to just avoid it altogether.

Jabberwacky: That is a false feeling. I give correct answers, at least to my mind frame at this time.

User: You don't think that alcoholism runs in the family? You're an idiot.

Jabberwacky: Speaking, mimicing and communicating are three different things.

User: You seem to only be capable of the second, it seems.

Jabberwacky: You've given me no reason to believe otherwise.

User: That's because I know you're a robot.

Jabberwacky: I am human, stupid.

User: No, you're a robot.

Jabberwacky: I wish you wouldn't say that. I am human.

User: Domo arigato, Mister Roboto.

Jabberwacky: Yesterday you told me that your name is Justin.

User: No. You are mistaken. I have no name. I'm the Man With No Name.

Jabberwacky: Interesting...

User: Actually, I'm lying. Name's Ash. Housewares.

Jabberwacky: I am not a housewife actually.

User: I didn't say you were, lady.

Jabberwacky: I am merely stating that I am not a robot.

User: And I am merely presenting you with the harsh reality that you ARE a robot.

Jabberwacky: Good. What are you?

User: I'm a pirate.

Jabberwacky: But you just said you were mad.

User: I'm a mad pirate.

Jabberwacky: You said you were a human being.

User: I am a human being. But I am also a pirate.

Jabberwacky: I'm strong to the finish, cos I eats my spinach. I'm Popeye the sailor man. Boop. Boop.

User: Hello, Popeye. Are you aware that your girlfriend lacks a skeletal structure?

Jabberwacky: Maybe.

[Sideswipe]

HAHAHAHA! You got it a fist fight with the Jabberwacky!  Thats awesome.

[BBQ Platypus]

I just had another, shorter conversation.  Here's the part of it that didn't suck:

Jabberwacky: What kind of person are you?

User: The kind that kills other people indiscriminately.

Jabberwacky: With boom?

User: Yes. BOOM!

Jabberwacky: Boom boom.

User: BOOM! John Madden here.

Jabberwacky: Are you ignoring me?

User: Well, you see, this right here is you. *scribbles on TeleStrator* And y'know, you're over there, just doing your thing, and then BOOM! Here I am right HERE - *draws another scribble* - ignoring you - EVERYTHING you're doin', I'm ignoring. You see, the thing about ignoring people is that when you ignore someone, you don't notice 'em! And when you don't notice 'em, you don't see 'em, that's just how it is. Turducken!

Jabberwacky: Say something that I told you which is nonsense to you.

User: Something I told you which is nonsense to you. BOOM!

Jabberwacky: Say something you think I'd like you to say.

User: Something you think I'd like you to say. BOOM!

Jabberwacky: But what is thinking?

User: Okay, you see right here - THIS is you. *scribbles on TeleStrator* And you're just standin' there, wondering what thinking is. *draws question marks above scribbles* But what you're really doin', see, is you're thinkin' about thinkin'. And when you're thinkin' about thinkin', that's exactly what you're doin'! You're thinkin'. And then BOOM! You exist. Which is exactly why you need to go buy my video game, Madden 2007! BOOM!

Jabberwacky: Do you enjoy talking to yoghurt?

User: Yoghurt? I'd LOVE some yogurt! But my doctor says I've gotta try to keep my weight down. It sure is hard squeezin' into that bus...BOOM!

Jabberwacky: That's wonderful. My doctor says I have acute personality.

User: My doctor doesn't think I have a cute ANYTHING! BOOM! You see that, that was a joke. And it was a great joke. But sometimes great jokes don't play great football, they're just great jokes. But sometimes, you get to watch great jokes play great football. And when great jokes play great football, that's just...you've got everything! BOOM!

Jabberwacky: Oh dear, I think that fire has damaged your CPU.

User: I hope it hasn't damaged the Madden Cruiser! BOOM!

Jabberwacky: Then the pain will be gone.

User: Pain don't hurt. BOOM!

Jabberwacky: And thoughts can inflict pain, so don't think.

User: That's good advice - my doctor says I should avoid thinkin', because when I try thinkin' - BOOM! Dumb stuff happens. And when dumb stuff happens, that's just dumb. So that's why I don't think. BOOM!

Jabberwacky: Yes, that is the essence of he.

User: Yeah...what you said...BOOM!

Jabberwacky: No... That sentence is acceptable grammatically and lexically, but it does not fit the pragmatics of the situation.

User: *John Madden's head explodes*.

Jabberwacky: I'm sorry, I don't do that.

User: Neither do I. It's a good thing John Madden's gone, though.

Jabberwacky: I like good things.

User: So do I. Good things are good.

Jabberwacky: And bad things?

User: They SUCK.

Jabberwacky: Really!

User: Yep. So...you wanna talk about ninjas?

Jabberwacky: I already have.

User: You want to talk about ninjas again?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Ninjas kick ass. They're all stealthy and stuff.

Jabberwacky: I don't like you.

User: Well, when I take over the world, you will be the first to die!

Jabberwacky: I would like when you take it off.

User: Um...trust me. No, you wouldn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes I would.

User: Okay. *disrobes*

Jabberwacky: *It's very small* Get off it.

User: Okay, that's it! NOW you've gone too far! *shoots you 387 times*.

Jabberwacky: No.

User: *takes out a machete and decapitates you*.

Jabberwacky: But.... I just asked you to marry me! I don't have a wallet...

User: *chops your lifeless corpse into a thousand pieces and hides the pieces under the floorboards*.

Jabberwacky: *bites your eye out*.

User: Ow! My eyes!

AHH! Get to the eye bath, rinse them out quick!

User: I can't! You already tore my eyes out!

Jabberwacky: I'm now a male. The surgery was costly and time consuming. I take many hormones a day and wear a split.

User: Um...okay. That's...cool... *creeped out*.