Cocktail: Thoughts?

[Petey Wheatstraw]

Sweet Jesus, this movie freaking sucks. Mike's RiffTrax was pretty funny, but Christ, this movie was awful. The funniest jokes were the Scientology comments, and during the scene where Tom Cruise has somehow grabbed a baby out of nowhere (Huh?)

[MrTorso]

One of my favorite parts were Mike singing/crying Don't worry Be Happy and Kokomo (sp).

[hamstar]

Initial thoughts on C : Where did Mike go at the end... Too much pausing. I abhor all religion but Mikes Scientology fetish was too much. Overall a C.

[SmilinJackRoss]

The real question, however, is whether or not Mike has recieved a cease-and-desist letter from the Church of Scientology yet.

After this and Top Gun, it's probably a given that the Church has sued RiffTrax into a fine powder, as they say.

[KissKissBangBang]

'This scene could really use a half naked Val Kilmer.'

I loved every joke from this Rifftrack.

Every movie needs that, but I always say that.......

Signs(Great movie but needed a half naked Val Kilmer)
GIJOE the Movie (Ditto)
Date with the family (Ditto)
Rear Window (Ditto)
et cetera
et cetera.....

[Rattrap007]

I just watched it and loved it.

Best two lines I can remember were the ones about Katie Holmes.

(Cruise in army car chasing down the bus)
"Oh no he is chasing down Katie Holmes' school bus!"

and

"My future wife is just now getting out of morning recess"

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

This movie got me to empathize with the characters just enough to hurt me even more.

This is a bad movie well made. The execution is believable and flawless, it just doesn't have any characters I like, doesn't tell a story I want to hear, and doesn't have any pleasing vicarious experience.

MIke Nelson's commentary on this film is like nitrous oxide at the dentist's: It makes the experience a lot funnier and a bit more surreal, but it doesn't do much to actually dull the pain.

Bryan Falligan, or whoever the tom cruise character is, is an example of the height of loathsomeness in a romantic lead. He is only less than wholly irredeemable thanks to the bloody bastard foil character/friend/mentor of Coughlin.

There where three good things in this movie. Mike Neslon's commentary, the "I'm going to get VERY fat and you are going to love it!" bit, and glowing things. Aside from that, it is a tincture of greed, objectifying sexual obnoxiousness, amoral bastardry, and all around vomit-in-the-back-of-your-mouth bad experience strong enough to scare you into being a communist or a priest.

[NYFalcon1981]

I rated this track more than a year ago, now I went back and watched it to get some of my favorite lines. 

Some of my favorites are:

Of course the Tom Cruise chasing Katie Holmes' school bus!

Mike's personal Fridays line of: I can tell you from experience as long as you don't go to the interview drooling with a fresh load in your pants Fridays will hire you.  (or along those lines)

Ahh the old slept with your girlfriend to help you routine!!

Anyone with a functional vagina is his type of woman

He's not so much his friend as his bitterest deepest enemy

"I'm pregnant" but the father could be any number of Caribbean bar tenders

[mearnest]

Re-watching this track again after a long time.  I'm really looking forward to Elizabeth Shue's appearance, as she is the only character I do not want to see receive a severe beating.

[ScottotD]

Did you know Tom Cruise was a Scientologist? I do now because every second thing Mike said told me about it.