Oh my god! The things we learned are coming from inside the thread!

[Trekker4747]

I learned: First off, that Rifftrax wants to keep me in credit card debt.

[Trekker4747]

Okay, I learned:

1. Ventriloquists have a very wide skill-set including making Sherlock Holmes-ian "urban camouflage", the ability to inexplicably make phones stop working, inexplicably make lights stop working and to inexplicably make doors stop working.

2. That not matter how cute she is girls will NEVER look good in a mullet.  Seriously?! A mullet?!

3. That 9mm gun shots that go through your skull and both hemispheres of your brain require surgery not involving SHAVING OFF YOUR MULLET!

4. That said gun shots are pretty easy to recover from. Eat it Gabby Giffords!

5. Clubs in the bad part of town that have topless table service can be black-tie affairs.

6. That ventriloquist acts in these clubs are acceptable forms of entertainment.

7. What lies in the future for Jeff Dunham.

You know, I'm also not exactly sure what I watched here or what was resolved at the end, if anything, or what this guy's motivations were. I mean what about the kids the girl was watching at the beginning? What happened to them?!  Will cute-ish mullet girl keep her mullet? Will Durning ever get that extra side of coleslaw he ordered at the topless bar?

[Lembach]

Jill. I learned Jill.

[waitingforgo]

Jill. I learned Jill.

Jill?

[Lembach]

I think that was the name.

[waitingforgo]

Jill.

[Tony Farms AKA Puma Man]

2. That not matter how cute she is girls will NEVER look good in a mullet.  Seriously?! A mullet?!

Mullet, vest AND mom jeans.  She should have just sprayed herself with dick repellant.

[Trekker4747]

Well, to be fair, asses and jeans didn't get along very well in the 80s and 90s.

[space_mutiny]

I learned that when you disguise yourself as a brick wall, you should wear a thong. I've been disguising myself as a brick wall wearing boxers, and it hasn't worked out well at all.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

 I learned that tossing a ventriloquist out of a topless bar is a 2 step process, first you throw him into the ladies dressing room, then come back a minute later and throw him into the street.

[Trekker4747]

Well, to be fair, he was thrown in the dressing room to lick the toilet clean. It's more of a promotion (being a ventriloquist act is obviously an entry-level position for most lines of entertainment work) that didn't pan out.

[Droppo]

I learned that ventriloquists can throw the sound of a door knocking.

[Trekker4747]

And throw their voice in a manner to make it sound like their voice is coming from behind a door on the other side of the room or at least at some point much distant from where they actually are.  ... You know. I don't think "voice throwing" works like that.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

 He must have had all his camouflage supplies with him in the apartment, because he was able to very quickly paint the gun and repaint his arm so he could shoot without being seen.

And Jill (I think her name was Jill) had no depth perception, for someone that notices "everything" she sure missed the wall being way more bumpy than usual.  It was a cool trick though, but only works from one angle.

[Trekker4747]

I learned that when you're in a coma in the ICU you not only get a HUGE private room, but this room is also kept as dark as possible save for one, single, bright light shining in your comatose face and that no one will really monitor who enters (or stays in) your room.

Also, a ****** MULLET?!