Favorite ... Lines? (Yes, the 4th Time we've done that joke.)

[Raefire]

-"Is that Pelé?" "No." "Is that Pelé?" "No!"

-"Was it too much to hope the City of God kids come through and wipe these two out?"

[CJones]

We here at Rifftrax would like to remind you that Bella and Jacob have been in the top 5 baby names for the past 3 years... and to please stop doing that!

(I wonder if that's true.)

It is...  

http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/top5names.html

Though, Jacob has apparently been the #1 boys name for over a decade, well before Twilight

Huh. I don't think I've ever met anybody named Jacob. I've known at least 5 Michaels though. Then again, I am well over a decade old.

[Gamera]

We out of pretzels?

[JimJ]

"Hey, Jake, sorry about Abduction."

[Danecho1967]

Also...

"Her, 'I'm about to get married' face is the same as my, 'I'm about to eat at Arby's' face."

Seriously, what emotion was Kristen Stewart supposed to be portraying as she and "Mustache Dad" were walking out to the wedding?  It looked like she was repeatedly swallowing down vomit.

[Wiseblood]

Edward: "They say the first year is the hardest"
Mike: "But the second season of Parks & Rec is so good it's worth it"

Hell yeah!  

[book_nerdess]

Also...

"Her, 'I'm about to get married' face is the same as my, 'I'm about to eat at Arby's' face."

Seriously, what emotion was Kristen Stewart supposed to be portraying as she and "Mustache Dad" were walking out to the wedding?  It looked like she was repeatedly swallowing down vomit.

Here's where I have to admit to reading the books so I can answer this.  In the books, Bella hates attention.  I don't like being the center of attention either, but she's really mentally disturbed about it.  It's like she hates people who look at her.  So in the book, as she has to start walking up the aisle, she is in severe panic mode because everyone has the nerve to be looking at her.  Then, she sees Edward waiting for her at the altar.  Then... well, I'll just let Stephenie Meyer say it.  From page 48:

"All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.  His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion.  And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.  Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Charlie's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle."

If I were Mustache Dad, I'd drink too.

[Danecho1967]

Also...

"Her, 'I'm about to get married' face is the same as my, 'I'm about to eat at Arby's' face."

Seriously, what emotion was Kristen Stewart supposed to be portraying as she and "Mustache Dad" were walking out to the wedding?  It looked like she was repeatedly swallowing down vomit.

Here's where I have to admit to reading the books so I can answer this.  In the books, Bella hates attention.  I don't like being the center of attention either, but she's really mentally disturbed about it.  It's like she hates people who look at her.  So in the book, as she has to start walking up the aisle, she is in severe panic mode because everyone has the nerve to be looking at her.  Then, she sees Edward waiting for her at the altar.  Then... well, I'll just let Stephenie Meyer say it.  From page 48:

"All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.  His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion.  And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.  Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Charlie's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle."

If I were Mustache Dad, I'd drink too.

Oh.  Okay. 

I'm not being a jerk.  Really.  I just have sadly watched four of these movies and didn't realize that she had that problem.  I just thought she was completely self absorbed.   

I guess the movies might be better if you've read the books, but I'm not going to test that theory. 

[D.B. Barnes]

"All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.  His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion.  And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.  Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Charlie's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle."

My god. Is that actual text from the book? That sounds like something spit out by a random horrible hackneyed prose generator. "...buttery, burning gold"?!? That is amazingly bad.

[LucasM]

"...buttery, burning gold."

<Homer>Mmmmmmmmmm ...  Buttery Gold flambe'.</Homer>

[book_nerdess]

"All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.  His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion.  And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.  Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Charlie's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle."

My god. Is that actual text from the book? That sounds like something spit out by a random horrible hackneyed prose generator. "...buttery, burning gold"?!? That is amazingly bad.

Yes.  All four books are written that way.  That's why I couldn't put them down.  It's the worst writing I've ever seen, and Meyers is a gazillionaire because of it.

[anais.jude]

In all of our defenses, it's not like the book explains why Bella hates attention like that. In fact, I should re-write the book as as more of a metaphor for...I don't know, maybe Bella was abused as a child and so she hates attention. Edward is the only man she has been able to tell about her experiences....and she trusts him do to his sparklyness...or something

Whatever...Fin...MONEY PLEASE *holds out hand*

[FBX]

"Edward has two middle names? Just when I thought I couldn't hate him anymore"

[distantdrain]

She has the glowing, new mother look of a 60-year old Iggy Pop.

[Huntress]

From page 48:

"All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.  His eyes were a buttery, burning gold...

And this is the fourth book! Does she really need to keep emphasizing how gold Edward's eyes are? Doesn't she think we might have picked up on that by now? Classic amateur writer syndrome, though- overdescription and overreliance on adjectives.

Dr. Pepper actually came out of my nose when I heard, "A person on their honeymoon or someone realizing they've been captured by the Saw villain?" It hurt. I also enjoyed "Here, let me cover your lack of ass."