Re: Things Fictional Characters would Never Say....

[mojoplasma]

any gansta rapper
YO, YO, better listen up kids...

Women aren't objects
and guns aren't cool
stay off the drugs
pay attention in school!

[daltysmilth]

CAPTAIN PICARD:  You know what I think we should do?  Break the prime directive.

JASON VOORHEES:  Pardon me, my good sir, dear lady, but I must protest your recent behaviour.  I lived an admittedly sheltered life as a youth, my dear sweet mother was not over-fond of sexual relations outside the bonds of matrimony, nor the casual use of narcotics, or under-aged alcohol consumption, and as for me, well, how one chooses to occupy his or her free time is of course none of MY business, I must confess that those same things make me uncomfortable as well.  You see, I met sweet lady death at the bottom of this very lake as a result of careless camp counselors who were so engrossed in said activities that they entirely failed to notice my difficulties staying afloat.  As a result, my lungs filled up with more water than I generally like to keep in them, which made it predictably difficult both to breath and keep my head above water, and, well, there you are.  So if you wouldn't mind, perhaps you could find some other location in which to practise your affections on one another.  Thank you.

[mojoplasma]

gang of 9 or more ninja:
Remember, everyone attack at ONCE!

[SJP]

I just picked up the NEW Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child series, but this is equally applicable to Pendergast as well:

Gideon Crew: "I'm hungry.  Think I'll go to McDonald's."

[mojoplasma]

Muslim super villain Al-Kabooom!

"You think he likes ham?...wait'll you see me like ham!

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

JASON VOORHEES:  Pardon me, my good sir, dear lady, but I must protest your recent behaviour.  I lived an admittedly sheltered life as a youth, my dear sweet mother was not over-fond of sexual relations outside the bonds of matrimony, nor the casual use of narcotics, or under-aged alcohol consumption, and as for me, well, how one chooses to occupy his or her free time is of course none of MY business, I must confess that those same things make me uncomfortable as well.  You see, I met sweet lady death at the bottom of this very lake as a result of careless camp counselors who were so engrossed in said activities that they entirely failed to notice my difficulties staying afloat.  As a result, my lungs filled up with more water than I generally like to keep in them, which made it predictably difficult both to breath and keep my head above water, and, well, there you are.  So if you wouldn't mind, perhaps you could find some other location in which to practise your affections on one another.  Thank you.

I like it dalty. 

Forrest gump:
Life is so complicated a game that the devices of skill are liable to be defeated at every turn by air-blown chances, incalculable as the descent of thistle-down

[Dim of the Yard]

Special Agent Dale Cooper: No coffee for me, thanks. I'll have the Earl Grey, instead.

[mojoplasma]

Forrest gump:
Life is so complicated a game that the devices of skill are liable to be defeated at every turn by air-blown chances, incalculable as the descent of thistle-down

[daltysmilth]

Random NPC In A Half-Life Game:  Gordon Freeman?  And I should give a rat's-ass because...?

[Johnny Unusual]

"Something!"

-Harpo Marx

[mojoplasma]

Gandalf:
"Hey Frodo, lemmy borrow yur ring for a bit so I can sneak into the girls locker room."

[daltysmilth]

T-800:  Are you Sarah Connor?
Sarah Connor:  Yes...?
T-800:  Hmm, you don't look like the woman from the only known photograph we have on file.  You must not be the one I'm looking for.  Sorry to trouble you.

MACE WINDU:  You know, Master Yoda, it's just occurred to me that sending an attractive, hormone-crazed teenage Jedi who has already displayed issues both with self-control and attachment to escort an attractive young female senator back to her home planet without adult supervision might not be the best idea.  You think maybe it'd be better if we sent an experienced adult or even a female Jedi, so there'd be less chance of romantic entanglement?
YODA:  Pfft.  What's the worst that could happen?

[Johnny Unusual]

MACE WINDU:  You know, Master Yoda, it's just occurred to me that sending an attractive, hormone-crazed teenage Jedi who has already displayed issues both with self-control and attachment to escort an attractive young female senator back to her home planet without adult supervision might not be the best idea.  You think maybe it'd be better if we sent an experienced adult or even a female Jedi, so there'd be less chance of romantic entanglement?
YODA:  Pfft.  What's the worst that could happen?

Well, to be fair Yoda would say that.

[daltysmilth]

MACE WINDU:  You know, Master Yoda, it's just occurred to me that sending an attractive, hormone-crazed teenage Jedi who has already displayed issues both with self-control and attachment to escort an attractive young female senator back to her home planet without adult supervision might not be the best idea.  You think maybe it'd be better if we sent an experienced adult or even a female Jedi, so there'd be less chance of romantic entanglement?
YODA:  Pfft.  What's the worst that could happen?

Well, to be fair Yoda would say that.

Yeah, but he wouldn't say it LIKE that.  He'd say it more: "The worst happen what is could?"

[WeatherServo9]

Khan Noonien Singh: "You know what, I think I will put on a shirt."