Battlefield earth 2: Revenge of the aliens

[Johnny_Short_Torso]

The purple stinga flookies reconstituted the planet psychlo. As the planet rebuilt itself, Terl the armless alien comprehended how to escape. Then he remembered he had his boogers. He yelled
"Guard! Guard! I am sick, see? My nose is running! Let me out please!"
The Guard, who did not speak psychlo opened the door and said to Terl
"What did you say?"
Terl then hit the guard with his remaining arm and knocked him to the ground.
Terl laughed hysterically "Stupid human!!! Ah hah hah hah hah hah!"
After laughing for 20 more minutes, Terl still neglected to notice that he was
already surrounded by guards with spears, rocks and hyper-blinky laser penises.
"Hah hah hah, stupid humans, ah hah hah hah!!!" Said Terl, hoping that his taunting
would break their spirit and make them immediately surrender even though he was
not armed except for his gross booger tubing. He then got a bright idea... he shook his
head back and forth really fast making his gross dried up boogers swing around. This made
the cavemen dudes whince and they all covered their eyes and backed off.
Terl walked out of his cell... still swinging his head from side to side with his boogers hanging out of
his nose like two slimy whips.
"Ah hah hah hah!!! Stupid humans!!!" Yelled Terl as he escaped the facility. He found another Psychlo
buddy he knew from day care when he was a kindergartener about 10 years ago in a cage ouside the
gold storage dinko.
"Ziggy! My old bot friend!"
Ziggy looked up at Terl with big puppy-dog eyes and said
"Derl? Dis Dat Doo?"
"Yes! Hold on while I discombobulate this lock and we will get the crapping crap out of here!! AH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!" Terl began picking the lock with his index talon, but continued to laugh which attracted the attention of more of the human cavedude guards
"Sir, I have always loved your laugh, it has always made me so gorshna." Terl finally successfully jimmied the lock and Ziggy was free and he walked with a hump on his back and feet the size of a Plymouth Duster.
"Well there will be time for that later, but for now we need to stop the stupid humans!!! Hah hah hah hah!!"
"But sir, we have no weapons!" With that... Terl and Ziggy were surrounded by humans.
"Ah hah hah hah!! Stupid humans!! hah hah hah hah!!!"
The humans grabbed Terl by his hair and pulled him down to the ground and began to beat Terl senseless and shot him in the face many times
"Ah hah hah hah! Stupid humans! I didn't feel a thing! Ah hah hah hah!!!" And Terl shut up because he was instantly killed a second later.
Ziggy looked on and howled
"Arrooo!! My boss! My lover! I loved his leg! At least let me have a souvenir leg!"
The Cavemen refused.
"No, we need his leg for Fig Newtonian cameric reproduction, sorry."
Then the alien ship came down to planet earth and Planetship the big chinned guy came down
"Bwah hah hah, we shall destroy the humans! Hah hah hah!!"
Planetship laughed as the humans rushed at him, he pulled the trigger on his gun but forgot to load it with
Zolcanyag ray cleaners.
"Ah hah hah! You'll never defeat me! Ah hah hah hah!!!"
The caveman human gay queer fairy men knocked planetship to the ground and made endless supples of bread out of him... but for years afterwards their horrid hammy acting and bad english would scar them for life... thus the revenge of the psychlo aliens was complete.

[Johnny_Short_Torso]

BTW comments would be appreciated. 

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

you know you almost scared me into thinking there was really a sequal coming out.

[kodiakthejuggler]

you know you almost scared me into thinking there was really a sequal coming out.

Y'know, for a man in uniform, you get scared pretty easily.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

there are some things that even bullets cant quell  at least not without going to prison. 

[Petey Wheatstraw]

The film actually adapts half of the novel. Half-way through production, they realized that the film was crap, stopped filming out of mercy for their proposed audience, and released it incomplete. Actually, I wish that were true (well, actually, I wish that they had never filmed it at all). The real story was that they had it all set up for a two-film deal, the first film adapting the first half half of L. Ron Hubbard's lame sci-fi novel into one piece of shit movie, and the second film adapting the second half of L. Ron's lame sci-fi novel into a piece of shit sequel. When the film tanked in theaters, they left the story incomplete. Let's pray to God no one finishes it. It's bad enough that the original shitty novel exists, but the fact that a movie version of half of said shitty novel exists is even worse.

[Leopold_Stotch]

Well... it made me laugh. But of course I was the one that wrote it.