Twilight 2: New Moon

[Relaxing Dragon]

Rod Hilton brings us another abridged script of the movie:

http://www.cracked.com/article/230_if-new-moon-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest/

People who've seen it: is it accurate?

[jasimon1]

Rod Hilton brings us another abridged script of the movie:

http://www.cracked.com/article/230_if-new-moon-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest/

People who've seen it: is it accurate?

Yep, pretty much spot on.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Rod Hilton brings us another abridged script of the movie:

http://www.cracked.com/article/230_if-new-moon-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest/

People who've seen it: is it accurate?

Yep, pretty much spot on.

Perfect.  Especially these parts.....

Spoiler

MICHAEL SHEEN

And please send in the huge group of American tourists whose disappearance somewhere in Italy surely won't garner the attention of every major news network.

GIRLS IN AUDIENCE

(swooning)

No wonder boys hate Twilight! Nobody can be as perfect as Edward!

BOYS IN AUDIENCE

Are you kidding? We love Twilight! It teaches the next generation of women that, the worse their men treat them, the more in love they should be.

GIRLS IN AUDIENCE

You're right! Want to buy me another movie ticket?

BOYS IN AUDIENCE

Buy your own goddamn ticket you stupid cunt.

WOMEN IN AUDIENCE

(swoon)

EDIT: Have to qualify that......Michael Welch's character comes out of this version with 100 times more dignity than he did in the real movie.

[Cosmic Muse]

I'm just hoping that Avatar will wash away the stench of New Moon's fiscal success when it opens next week.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

BTW....those Edward "Twilight" dolls I saw (along with one Bella) - quite a few available.  And they're reduced.

Along with some Barbie-sized "Star Trek" dolls of Kirk, Spock and Uhura from the new film....in fact, those are half off (thought that was popular).

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Twilight cinema bans fans kissing Robert Pattinson cutout over swine flu fears

A cinema has banned adoring Twilight fans from kissing a cardboard cutout of leading man Robert Pattinson because it could spread swine flu.

Heart-throb Brit actor Pattinson plays the vampire Edward in New Moon, the second film in the Twilight Saga released last month. But a cardboard cutout of the star at the Reel Cinema, in Crewe, Cheshire, has been attracting more than just lusty looks.  Fans of the film have been kissing and hugging the life-size likeness.

Now cinema chiefs have slapped a ban on any Pattinson petting because they fear it could spread germs and even swine flu.

A hastily printed notice stuck to the cutout reads: "Please help reduce the spread of germs by refraining from giving Edward, or any other character for that matter, a kiss or a hug."

Management at the cinemas said the popularity of the film with teenage girls had lead to the need to curb some of raging hormones.  Cinema supervisor Mandy Taylor, aged 35, of Shavington, said: "We put the sign up because of swine flu.  "If people started kissing him it could spread. We have to be more careful now.  Robert is a very big hit with the fans. I?m reading the books at the moment and I?m halfway through Eclipse. The films are great, Robert?s character is very sexy."

Managing director Kailash Suri, from Reel Cinemas, said: "The film was so popular that our performances were sold out for the first week. The girls were coming in and having their pictures taken. They were getting a bit carried away and in the nicest possible way we said don't kiss him? The film has such a huge following."

Cinema-goer Emma Hilton, 22, from Crewe, said: "I can understand why some girls might want to kiss the poster, Robert Pattinson is so gorgeous.

"I think it's a bit silly putting a sign on his face though, I can't imagine you can get swine flu from giving him a kiss.  I think it's quite funny really and it won't stop me giving him a hug."

I'm not sure which is weirder....

That these Twilight fans can't tell cardboard from a real person (all knocks on Pattinson's acting aside)....

Or that that theater doesn't just take the cutouts out of the lobby....or put them in a roped off area....?

[doggans]

That these Twilight fans can't tell cardboard from a real person (all knocks on Pattinson's acting aside)....

I'm guessing most of them do it for a shot at a "hilarious"/"sexy" MySpace pic.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

That these Twilight fans can't tell cardboard from a real person (all knocks on Pattinson's acting aside)....

I'm guessing most of them do it for a shot at a "hilarious"/"sexy" MySpace pic.

That's why God invented Photoshop.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I'm going to speak up and say that the cutouts creep me out.

The Edward Cullen cutout somehow has more depth and life than the character and the actor combined. There's this little >>moment<< of dissonance when I think it's real. *shudder* ._. Its eyes follow me around the FYE store.

[Cosmic Muse]

I think that Stephenie Meyers is so paranoid about people who don't like Twilight that she's started a campaign to hamper and/or put out of commission any websites or message boards that point out the flaws in her fictional universe. This is a post I wanted to make in a thread concerning the book Breaking Dawn being made into a movie.

I'm betting that the studio heads are trying to figure out how to make Breaking Dawn (It should have been called Breaking Bella for God's sake!!) into a PG-13 movie.

How would I end the Twilight series? Have the original vampire actually be Edward Cullen and everyone can only be saved from these weird, strange events by his death. That way everyone will no longer be vampires after the curse is lifted, not even the Volturi. Bella and Jacob can pick up the pieces together and he can comfort Bella who would still have Renesmee as a reminder of her "love" for Edward while keeping Jacob Black away from that pedophiliac creepiness. Also Edward sacrificing himself to save so many people would be a true testament to his love for Bella. But a writer like Stephenie Meyer wouldn't write such an epic, poetic thing because Bella and Edward are her Mary/Marty Sue/Stu.

I have nothing against any of the actors in these movies. They're just doing their jobs and earning their keep. I just personally think that Twilight is just bland and uninteresting. Edward as a character just isn't what I would think is the perfect male. If anything he's as creepy as a stalker. If I found out a guy was in my room while I was sleeping in my own room or watching everything I did right down to personal things like using the bathroom, I'd consider him a creep regardless of how cute he was. Sad thing is that Stephenie Meyer is perpetuating a dangerous fantasy here. Most teenage girls have not learned what behavioral discernment is and would accept any irrational behavior from a guy because it would remind them of Edward.

Unfortunately, every time I try to post, I keep getting error pages and the boards immediately lag.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I think that Stephenie Meyers is so paranoid about people who don't like Twilight that she's started a campaign to hamper and/or put out of commission any websites or message boards that point out the flaws in her fictional universe.

Star Trek tried that once....wish her luck with that.

[Cosmic Muse]

Star Trek tried that once....wish her luck with that.

Better watch out! The Twihards, at Stephenie's urging, might come in here in droves to gum up the works. 

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Star Trek tried that once....wish her luck with that.

Better watch out! The Twihards, at Stephenie's urging, might come in here in droves to gum up the works. 

Well, Trolls and Freepers are a way of life....

Paramount actually announced that they wanted to sue all websites for using the copyrighted names and terms from the franchise without their permission...and they weren't planning on giving anyone permission, therefore shutting down every Trek site except their own.  They claimed it was that they wanted to stop "false rumors" coming out about the movies (seem to remember this was around the time of Nemesis so you see where that was coming from).

The reaction of the fans put an end to that.

[Tyrant]

Apologies if someone has already shared this link somewhere on this forum. My attention span is smaller than a flea's of late:
http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175

This reeks of a smear compaigne against Twihards. I find it hard to believe 100% of the accounts are true, but if even a few are, how messed up. I hear all day how bad Transformers sucks but it doesn't make me want to resort to violence.

[ThatGirlWithTheFreckles]

I think I'm a reasonably sensible person, and I've read all 4 Twilight books and enjoyed them thoroughly for what they were: quick, easy reads that did not require much thought but were fun while they lasted.  The first movie is downright horrible, thanks especially to two lead actors who have zero chemistry and tremendous lolls in dialogue that I guess were supposed to create dramatic tension or something....I don't know.  The Rifftrax of Twilight are one of my favorite Riffs, (especially the part where Bill sings along with the Edward playing the piano.)  The second movie, however, is reasonably better.  I'm not saying it's a cinematic masterpiece, but it tries to have some action, faster plot development, and more focus on the Jacob character (the only character in the entire series who is genuinely likable and somewhat developed).

I do worry what girls in the tween age range are gleaning from their obsession with Twilight.  It's no different, though, than what I grew up with which were animated Disney princesses.  Most are the same as the Bella character (if not significantly more cheerful): hollow headed empty vessels that must have an equally personality devoid male to complete their lives.  However, while growing up and watching these characters and pretending to be them etc., I did not grow up to think that if a man kidnapped me and locked me in a tower that it must be his psycho way of saying he loved me.  Hopefully these girls will be able to understand that Edward and Bella's relationship is simply a work of fiction.  

The saddest part is that the whole Twilight thing exists solely into capturing a ripe gender and age group to turn them into compulsive consumers who will buy any crap with a Twilight logo on it.  The other day I was in Border's Books and I saw Twilight Brand Packaging Tape.  It was like ten bucks.  Who the fuck needs Twilight Brand Packaging Tape?  It has truly gotten out of hand.  But it joins Hannah Montana, High School Musical, the Jonas Brothers, etc. in a marketing machine to take little girl's and parent's money straight out of their pockets.  THAT'S the saddest part to me is that they are being led straight into a lifestyle of blind consumption.