XXX : Thoughts?

[Joe Don Faker]

That little Q wannabe from MIT should have been shot in the head by xXx the minute he appeared on screen. Hearing Mike's desire to pray for this man's death was pure gold!!!

From an interview with Q wannabe Agent Toby Lee Shavers -- aka actor Michael Roof:

Ready for Another ?XXX? Adventure? ?As of now I?m back in the third one. We just have to see if people hate me. If they hate me, then they?ll probably kill me. I?ll be like, ?Here?s your gadget,? and they?ll shoot me in the face

New Gadgets in This Action-Packed Sequel (the second movie): ?A thing called the Glove. Electro-numatic suction. It doesn?t mean anything to you. Me either. It was dialogue on a page that I learned. But it?s a glove ? not like Michael Jackson or anything. It?s cool.?

Electro-numatic suction...?  It does mean something to me.  It means it sucks.

[Ivan Druzhkov]

I enjoyed the Rifftrax immensely ("Conan O'Brien!" still gets me every time.), but the actual movie left me a little confused.  Could someone clear up a few issues for me?

1. How did Vin Diesel make all his money?  It seems that all he did all day was destroy other people's cars, have bitchin' parties, and play video games.  Is there some type of Rad Federal X-Treme Financial Assistance program in the US that I'm unaware of?

2. Where did the anarchists get their money?  Did they have a criminal empire, or are Red Army pensions far more generous that reported?

3. Finally, where did they find the giant Kindersurprise egg they got the sub out of?  I could certainly use a 10-meter long egg full of chocolate.  Yes indeedy.

[kodiakthejuggler]

I enjoyed the Rifftrax immensely ("Conan O'Brien!" still gets me every time.), but the actual movie left me a little confused.  Could someone clear up a few issues for me?

1. How did Vin Diesel make all his money?  It seems that all he did all day was destroy other people's cars, have bitchin' parties, and play video games.  Is there some type of Rad Federal X-Treme Financial Assistance program in the US that I'm unaware of?

2. Where did the anarchists get their money?  Did they have a criminal empire, or are Red Army pensions far more generous that reported?

3. Finally, where did they find the giant Kindersurprise egg they got the sub out of?  I could certainly use a 10-meter long egg full of chocolate.  Yes indeedy.

1. He was part of the .com boom of the late 90s. Mark Cuban, anyone?

2. They stole it from the ?ber-rich bastard who owned the mansion, whom also added the alarm system back in the King Wenceslas days.

3. You're overthinking the movie. Don't make the mistake of using your brain while viewing xXx.

[Rude]

...where did they find the giant Kindersurprise egg they got the sub out of?

Hey now... I've gotten like, a gigantic ring toss game out of one of those eggs before. The sucker must've been almost a foot tall. Granted, it's not a nuclear submarine but still...

-Rude

PS- Does anyone actually eat the chocolate anyway? I always figured it was like the gum that came with baseball cards~

[Living_Dead_Girl]

*snip*

Uh, yeah... so, what movie did you really snag that info from? I didn't see the phrases "piece of crap", 'waste of time", or "Vin Diesel should be neutered" anywhere in those review blurbs (By the way, like I said, just my opinion, and in my opinion, this movie was crap, and beyond saving by any means - I'll try not to bring it up in every post though *coughzachsmindcough*).

I completely agree.  Vin should be neutered.  Maybe he'd actually get a decent tone in his voice instead of that low, caveman grunt like Sly Stallone.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

Maybe he'd actually get a decent tone in his voice instead of that low, caveman grunt like Sly Stallone.

at least he doesnt have the accent.  that would be too much

[Sophie]

Anyway, this kind of goofy MPAA rating thing has been going on for awhile now. When i was a kid (and movie theaters still had posters *explaining* the ratings systems in their lobbies) there were just the basic Violence, Nudity, etc.

Now they get all specific and it's totally like a joke. Check out a few of my favorites... They're all for real, i swear. Just check out the IMDB:

I burst out laughing on a packed Tube platform in London a few years ago (and got a few funny looks) when I saw a poster for the Wild Thornberrys movie, rated PG for "mild peril".

As for my thoughts on xXx... what a dumb movie. Dumb dumb dumb. The stupid plot, the over-the-top explosions ("Oh no, my oily rags!"), Vin Diesel's "acting" - I was laughing at the ridiculousness of this movie from start to finish. Of course I was also laughing at the riffs, which I thought were spot on. "My collection of [explosive materials]!" was pure gold, as was Mike's Vin impressions ("Duhhhhhhh?"), the comments on the well-off anarchists, wishing death on the Q-wannabe; for me everything just clicked which made watching this movie bearable. Thank you Rifftrax!

[Mrbnatural]

I had forgotten just how bad this movie really is... there are no characters, only WAAY over the top stereotypes... seriously, they should have just named themselves after their prescribed role...

the Rifftrax version, though, was hilarious. I'll probably end up watching it again before long, which is saying a lot.

[Jocko Homo]

"The Xander Zone"? How utterly rediculous!

I'm sorry to be anal but that's spelt with an "i", such as The Chronicles of Ridicule...

Some of my favourite riff lines are:
"Man, it seems as if you can get away with anything in Prauge..."
"The inspector Clouseau of the Czech Republic..."

[Bob M.]

and that's spelled Prague

[Tarantulas]

I've had a hard time finishing this one...  xXx is just that awful... maybe its just Vin and the fact that I've yet to see Asia naked yet... but I keep getting stuck at about the 1 hour mark.

I'm going to give it another chance tonight some time. 

Here's hoping

[Pak-Man]

Hate to shoot your hopes down but no.
No naked Asia in this one. :^)

[mrbasehart]

maybe its just Vin and the fact that I've yet to see Asia naked yet...

She's most naked in her own films, or the ones she does with her father.  I remember reading an interview with her about the fact that she seems to be naked a lot in her own father's films, and she replied something to the effect of "There's probably something weird to it, but we don't talk about it".  Still, she's pretty awesome.

[Cibernético II]

I'm a little less critical of this movie the most of you. I thought the original was not without any entertaining value. In fact after seeing it for the first time after buying the Rifftrax, I was a little disappointed that Vin didn't sign on for a sequal (I'm sure the second one is even funnier starring pudgy little Ice Cube[ever seen Ghosts of Mars? good Lord]). The movie is a little silly and seems that it was produced by a bunch of MTV employees, but I think they deserve a little credit for trying to put a new spin on the spy movie genre.

[MontyServo]

I just watched XXX yesterday for the first time.  I never saw the movie before because I don't care for Vin Diesel and the culture of "extreme" sports, so I figured I would hate the movie.  It turns out that i had a blast watching it.  I love big, dumb, loud action films, especially those that have the budgets to blow tons of crap up and have stuntmen throw their bodies all over the place!  Mike's riffs were perfect!  Vin Diesel is such a lunkhead, I was getting Reb Brown flashbacks watching this.  Great fun and a must see Rifftrax!  Of course they are all must see's!