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List the top 10 films you'd want riffed

Started by MisterC, January 20, 2007, 03:21:21 PM

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BEERxTaco

Oh man, so many good ideas here... some of these are inspired from previous posts:

In no particular order...

Born Losers - the original Billy Jack movie
Walking Tall - the quintessential Joe Don Baker movie
The Town That Dreaded Sundown - VHS only, crap... but stars Dawn Wells !
Eat My Dust - Ron Howard lmao...
Lost Horizon - a classic
Lost Weekend - in keeping with the "lost" theme
Escape From New York - Kurt Russell and Adrienne Barbeau
Conan The Barbarian - Ahnold!
Jason and The Argonauts - one of my all-time faves as a kid
On The Waterfront - Brando, pre-carbohydrates

Maybe we need a separate "classics" Rifftrax division...
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son"
-Dean Wormer, Animal House R.I.P.

MarkAndrew

First the list, then the commentary

1.   Dune
2.   Ultraviolet
3.   Lost in Space
4.   Van Helsing
5.   Tomb Raider
6.   Godzilla (Roland and Emmerich)
7.   Highlander 2
8.   Zardoz
9.   Batman and Robin
10.   The House of the Dead

1. I love this movie, but it is SO Riffable, the strange pauses the voice overs, the rubber suits...so rich a vein to mine.
2. Really mindless action, I almost put in Resident Evil here, but RE is actually watchable.  Frankly, I just want another rifftrack that gives me an excuse to watch Mila Jovovich again.  Even in crappy movies, I can't take my eyes off her when she's on screen.
3. Gary Oldman scenery chewing, Matt LeBlanc, an alien monkey and for me, Mimi Rodgers and Heather Graham in Lycra!
4. So very bad, all the classic Universal monsters given a 'hip and edgy' 're-imagining'.  Oy.
5. Bad movie, bad plot, hot actress.  At home this movie is called Boob Raider.  There, I said it.
6. Logic takes a holiday!  ID-4 would also fit here, but Godzilla is by far the worse of the two.  One of the few movies I've walked out of.
7. Oh so bad.  It is so disconnected from Highlander, it is easily watchable (using the term loosely) as a standalone.
8. Another bad movie with Sean Connery in it.  I get the feeling he really doesn't care what movies he makes, as long as the checks don't bounce.  Oh, and Thigh-high boots and a thong is NOT acceptable costuming for a man.  Now if Rachel Welch had starred...
9. Joel Schumacher comes out and goes hog wild on batman.  Plus, as an added bonus, George Clooney as the smuggest Batman ever.
10. Uwe "Mama said knock you out"  Boll needs to be punished at some point, this movie will do as 'well' as any other.

Minnesota

#47
Quote from: BEERxTaco on January 30, 2007, 10:28:30 AM

Walking Tall
Jason and The Argonauts
On The Waterfront

good suggestions BeerX, these three were my favorite... man Jason and the Argonauts I've not seen that since a little kid

Quote from: MarkAndrew on January 30, 2007, 12:16:32 PM

3.   Lost in Space
5.   Tomb Raider
6.   Godzilla (Roland and Emmerich)
9.   Batman and Robin
10.   The House of the Dead

in no particular order... Godzilla,batman, and uwe are given... I'm really hoping for Tomb Raider at some point  8)

Delirium

Here's my list - in no particular order.  I tried my best to pick some movies that no one else has mentioned yet, but there are a few duplicates.

1.   Over The Top – Someone else mentioned this one as well. How can you not riff a Stallone arm wrestling movie?
2.   Critters – Mike would have fun riffing on the little round balls of evil.
3.   Cocoon – The old jokes would be non-stop...Ow my hip! Not to mention we need a good riffing of Steve Guttenberg - come to think of it, hell yea, throw Short Circuit in there too!
4.   Drop Dead Fred – Not sure how many people have seen this but it's just an abysmal Phoebe Cates comedy from the early 90's – and she doesn't even get topless!  It's the essence of pain.
5.   Kangaroo Jack – The inclusion of this one goes without saying.
6.   Glitter – I've never seen it, but many consider it one of the worst mainstream films ever made, right there with Gigli.  I think it'd be great to see Mariah Carey get roasted!
7.   Uwe Boll flicks - I know tons of people have brought this up, but I need to toss in my vote as well.  Any one would do.....House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne (is it on DVD yet?)
8.   Donnie Darko – I think a good movie, but I included this one here because I'd love to see if they could pull off a good rifftrack for this one.  Make the weird Donnie Darko funny and I'd be very impressed.
9.   K-9 – Jim Belushi buddy cop movie with a dog.  You could also substitute Turner and Hooch here since they are the same movie, but I think I'd rather see K-9 riffed.  We'll spare Tom Hanks. 
10. The Adventures of Pluto Nash – I'm looking at you Eddie Murphy, it's time Mike Nelson riffed that smug look right off your face!

BEERxTaco

Quote from: Minnesota on January 30, 2007, 06:35:25 PM
good suggestions BeerX, these three were my favorite... man Jason and the Argonauts I've not seen that since a little kid
Thanks, I remember seeing Jason & the Argonauts at the theater and I was scared to death when the Colossus of Rhodes came to life...

and please, just call me Taco  8)
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son"
-Dean Wormer, Animal House R.I.P.

gbeenie

Quote from: Delirium on January 31, 2007, 07:48:00 AM
Here's my list - in no particular order. 

4.   Drop Dead Fred – Not sure how many people have seen this but it's just an abysmal Phoebe Cates comedy from the early 90's – and she doesn't even get topless!  It's the essence of pain.

I liked when I saw it back in the day; but, hell YEAH, it would be a great Riff.
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

- Conan O'Brien

Bob

Quote from: gbeenie on January 31, 2007, 09:48:55 AM
Quote from: Delirium on January 31, 2007, 07:48:00 AM
Here's my list - in no particular order. 

4.   Drop Dead Fred – Not sure how many people have seen this but it's just an abysmal Phoebe Cates comedy from the early 90's – and she doesn't even get topless!  It's the essence of pain.

I liked when I saw it back in the day; but, hell YEAH, it would be a great Riff.

Snot-face!


BEERxTaco

Oh I thought of one more... a Rock Hudson film from 1966 called Seconds. It's a pretty neat movie in a Twilight Zone sorta way, but I think it would make a cool riff...

IMDB Link
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son"
-Dean Wormer, Animal House R.I.P.

gbeenie

Quote from: MarkAndrew on January 30, 2007, 12:16:32 PM
First the list, then the commentary


7.   Highlander 2: The Quickening

7. Oh so bad.  It is so disconnected from Highlander, it is easily watchable (using the term loosely) as a standalone.


Yeah, I forgot this one on my list. Back in the Joel days, the boys said in an interview that the film they'd most like to do, but never would be able, is Highlander 2. The film is a great choice: it's SUPER-serious, and its focus is SO ill-defined as to be impossible to determine. To wit:

Highlander-- The enemy is ultimate badass The Kurgan, played by ultimate badass Clancy Brown.

Highlander 2-- The enemy is... um... one-size-fits-all environmental solutions? ...and, I guess, Michael Ironside...
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

- Conan O'Brien

Pak-Man

OK. Here's my current list:

1) Stealth - Never seen it, but the premise BEGS for Riffing!
2) Double Dragon - They RIDE a STATION WAGON with a ROCKET strapped to it called the DRAGON WAGON! :^)
3) Beastmaster - Any part will do. I've never been able to sit through a whole thing, but Riffing seems like a natural choice.
4) Batman and Robin - There's a reason the fans want it so much.
5) Hulk - I loved it, but man, oh man, can it be riffed! Superhero riffs have been such a good choice so far. :^)
6) Fantastic Four - See: Hulk
7) Jurassic Park - Mostly to give me an excuse to pick up the box set on DVD. It was good, but it was Riffable.
8) Eight-Legged Freaks - I've always wanted to see it and I'm sure it's bad. :^)

Can't think of the last 2 and my break is over. So I'll leave it at top 8. :^)

gbeenie

Quote from: MarkAndrew on January 30, 2007, 12:16:32 PM
First the list, then the commentary


9.   Batman and Robin

9. Joel Schumacher comes out and goes hog wild on batman.  Plus, as an added bonus, George Clooney as the smuggest Batman ever.

I've already come up with with a riff line (not bad, considering I haven't seen the movie in about nine years):

When Clooney (as Batman) whips out the Bat Credit Card (if you haven't seen the movie, don't ask; it's a stupid joke, as is this film's every solitary attempt at humor), he should say, "Don't worry about me; I can afford it. Unlike Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer, I'll BE in movies after this."

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

- Conan O'Brien

Muxje

For those who suggested Conan or Beastmaster...

How about Red Sonja?

It has Arnie and Brigitte Nielsen, both with accents thick as molasses.
"Who ah youw ahnywaaay?"
"Ahm Cahlidohr"!"

Plus the rest of the movie is just cheesy enough... not too cheesy.

"Ahh, the chilling sound of cardboard against cardboard..."

mrbasehart

Quote from: Pak-Man on January 31, 2007, 12:07:57 PM
OK. Here's my current list:

1. Stealth - Never seen it, but the premise BEGS for Riffing!
8. Eight-Legged Freaks - I've always wanted to see it and I'm sure it's bad. :^)


I thought Stealth was pretty stupid, and basically a rip-off of other films.  (Like a lot of Rob Cohen's movies)  I really wanted 8 Legged Freaks to be good, and the effects are pretty cool, but it's a big disappointment - it does star Scarlet Johanssen though!

Pak-Man

Quote from: Muxje on January 31, 2007, 02:39:46 PM
For those who suggested Conan or Beastmaster...

How about Red Sonja?

It has Arnie and Brigitte Nielsen, both with accents thick as molasses.
"Who ah youw ahnywaaay?"
"Ahm Cahlidohr"!"

Plus the rest of the movie is just cheesy enough... not too cheesy.

"Ahh, the chilling sound of cardboard against cardboard..."
Oooh. I caught a little Red Sonja on TV once. I officially add it to my list!

9) Red Sonja. :^)

Artie

1. Hackers - I enjoy this movie because its so bad.  Johnny Lee Miller, Matthew Lillard, and Angelina Jolie and bad guy named "The Plague"
2. Starship Troopers - Love the book, love to hate the movie. 
3. Ravenous - Cannibalism at its finest.
4. Ultraviolet - Why Mila? Why?
5. Mission to Mars - This was a pretentious garbage.
6. Demolition Man - Wesley Snipes, Sly Stallone, and Sandra Bullock all together in movie - sign me up!
7. The Wizard - Fred Savage in a 90 minute Nintendo commercial.  And just think of the fun Mike and company can have over the video game training montages.
8. Mr Holland's Opus - Over the top schmaltz
9. The Wicker Man - Haven't seen it, but just from the clips (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo) alone....
10. Dungeons & Dragons - The director pinned for 20 years to make this movie and he ended up with that?  He wasn't spending much of that time on the script, that's for sure.


Yet another movie website - www.filmmonger.com