Quick somebody find this petition

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

Not too long ago, director Uwe Boll (BloodRayne) made a few statement about Michael Bay (Transformers), stating: "I am not a f*cking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in that business." Bay responded by calling Boll "a sad being."

Soon after, Boll released a video in which he explained that his feelings have been hurt and that he has decided to challenge Bay to a boxing match. This isn't the first time Boll did something like this. He previously challenged five critics to boxing, beating all of them with ease. Videos of the fights will appear on the "Postal" DVD.

Now, Boll has released yet another video, confirming that Bay has accepted his challenge and that the two would meet in the ring on October 30th (or maybe September 30th, like Boll states) at the Mandalay Bay Resort in Las Vegas.

An administrator on Bay's official site had the chance to speak to Bay, who denied accepting Boll's challenge and claimed that he has never even spoken with Boll in the first place.

This all seems like a ridiculous publicity stunt, which Boll figured would get people to see his "Postal" movie in theaters on May 23rd. Or maybe he figured that he would trick people into buying tickets to "Postal" if they thought that those tickets would get them to see the boxing match. This is a new low.

sorry can't find video on youtube yet

[Compound]

And the anti-Boll crusade takes a marketing turn:

The Makers of Stride, The Ridiculously Long Lasting Gum(R), Offer A Total of One Million Packs of Gum to Signers of the Anti-Uwe Boll Petition*

    PARSIPPANY, N.J., May 7 /PRNewswire/ — In an effort to protect the childhood dreams of millions of video gamers everywhere, the makers of Stride gum announced today that they are launching a special campaign supporting the efforts of StopUweBoll.org in their attempt to convince famed film director Uwe Boll to stop making video game-based films.

    For years, Boll has piqued the ire of the gaming community by adapting many of their favorite games into universally panned films (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/uwe_boll/). On April 4, 2008, Boll remarked to legendary horror site FearNet that he'd consider acquiescing to his critics and abandoning making films in this genre if an online petition reached one million signatures. As of press time, the petition is just about 234,000 names, which is why Stride has decided to jump in.

    "Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we have been looking for ways to return the favor," said Gary Osifchin, Stride North American Marketing Director. "And what better way is there to get gamers' backs than by helping them rescue their cherished videogames from the clutches of Uwe Boll?"

    In an effort to help boost signings, the makers of Stride have put out a special bounty. If the petition reaches the required 1 million signatures by May 14 at 5pm EDT, each signer will receive a digital coupon* for a pack of gum, downloadable on May 23, 2008, a day that could really use some long-lasting refreshment, particularly as it will see the debut of his latest videogame-based film.

    "Look, it's nothing personal against the guy. Maybe his non videogame-based films are unbelievable! But we have seen such intense passion for this cause that we couldn't help but get involved," said Osifchin. "Let the signing continue."

    * Stride will provide a downloadable coupon (good for one pack of gum) to each petition signer that will be downloadable on May 23, 2008, if the target of one million signatures is reached between May 7 and 14, 2008. Additional details will be forthcoming.

Ooookay. Anyway, y'all might get some free gum! Score!

[Raven]

It's still not gonna happen.  Not in a week.

[Compound]

Never underestimate the power of free gum, my feathered friend.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

as tempting as free gum is, and it is, I too doubt we'll get to 1,000,000

[bettertomorrowamy]

Big League Chew would bring in the signatures much more effectively.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

Director Uwe Boll spoke to Vulture, revealing that he would love to direct a big screen version of the "Grand Theft Auto" video game.

"Grand Theft Auto would be super interesting for me, and I think I would actually be the right guy to do it, because my movies are all bloody and violent and I don't have a problem with action scenes," said Boll. "But look, they will go, in the end, with a Michael Bay or a Brett Ratner, and it will be a PG-13 movie made for $150 million. I think it would be better to make a $30 million, very hard, brutal movie without compromising, but I'm not optimistic."

Boll also mentioned that Michael Bay never agreed to box him. "His attorney wrote me that he's not going to do it now. And I have to face, like, legal consequences if I say anymore that he will do it. But I got an e-mail first from his fan club, I guess? They said he will do it, he's going to kick your ass, and that was the reason I said the fight was on. But the reality is that it's not going to happen."

[mrbasehart]

Heh heh.  I'd love to see what the GTA fan community would say if Uwe managed to get the rights...  Personally, I'd hate to see a GTA film at all.  It works perfectly as a game.

[MSTJedi]

The stories in the GTA games have never been groundbreaking. Mostly just rehashing of movie plots and TV. It's the experience of the game itself that makes it so fun. Making it into something you just sit and watch just wouldn't work. But Boll never pays attention to that kind of trivial crap.

[Raven]

Hasn't even got to 300,000 yet.  The power of free gum fails. 

[Compound]

Heh heh.  I'd love to see what the GTA fan community would say if Uwe managed to get the rights... 

They'd hire a hitman.

Seriously, Rockstar's response would be the same as Blizzard's: they'd laugh him out of the office.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

oops

Director Uwe Boll has been busy trashing Michael Bay and scheduling boxing matches rather than concentrating on his upcoming movie "Postal." It was scheduled to appear in 1,500 theaters on May 23rd and was going to go head-to-head with "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

Apparently plans have changed. The film is now set to appear in only a handful of theaters. "Theatrical distributors are boycotting Postal because of its political content," Boll said in a statement. "We were prepared to open on 1500 screens all across America on May 23rd. Any multiplex in the US should have space for us, but they're afraid."

Boll continued, "We have even tried to buy a few screens in New York and Los Angeles, and they won't let us even rent the theaters! I urge independent exhibitors to contact us and book Postal! Audiences have been expecting the film and I don't think exhibitors should censor what gets played in US theaters."

This is not surprising, since on May 23rd, audiences can see such films as "Iron Man," "Speed Racer," "Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian," "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and many others. Why would a theater owner give up screens to show "Postal," a movie made by a director whose films have consistently bombed. They could simply have more Indy showings.

heeheeheeheehee

[gbeenie]

I just got a phone call from one of my bosses. Looks like two of our locations will be opening Postal this Friday. How did this strange turn of events happen, you ask? Apparently, Boll was on one of his online tears about how the cancellation of the wide release constituted censorship of the political content of his film, when the manager of one of our locations decided to call him out, posting, basically, "Well, we'll play your damn movie." This resulted in a telephone call from Uwe Boll himself, wherein my boss' challenge was met, and terms were agreed to.

So, in addition to everything else I gotta deal with this week what with the Thursday opening for Indiana Jones and all, I've also got to touch a copy of Postal with my own two hands (I've just recently stopped washing my hands every fifteen minutes from building In The Name Of The King a few months back).

Ah, well. C'est la guerre. I just hope Boll doesn't actually show up at my work. >shudder<

[Tripe]

Ah, well. C'est la guerre. I just hope Boll doesn't actually show up at my work. >shudder<

Oh you know he will, and he'll be spoiling for a fight.

[gbeenie]

I wish. In the mall where this particular theatre is located, that attitude is likely to get him shot.