Anyone read the book?

[Zandrax]

I'm assuming lizard women in those times didn't have built in heels, lip injections, and saline breasts?

[Chaos]

My wife and I have both read the original epic. We actually own a copy, too.

This movie was a travesty of an interpretation. EVEN WORSE than 13th Warrior, which is saying something. EVEN WORSE than Crichton's "Eaters of the Dead," which is also saying something.

If this movie had been called something other than Beowulf, it would have actually been an enjoyable throwaway action movie. But trying to pretend it was the story of Beowulf was just insulting and sad.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

...wait, The Thirteenth Warrior was supposed to be a Beowulf adaptation? 

[Chaos]

...wait, The Thirteenth Warrior was supposed to be a Beowulf adaptation? 

Evidently. So was another movie from the last 15 years or so, but I can't remember offhand which.

And, like I said, Crichton's "Eaters of the Dead" was supposed to be an adaptation as well, though that was about a cult of flesheaters and not, as you might expect from an adaptation of BEOWULF, about a giant murderous demon.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

A murderous monster and his mother, and a dragon. Don't forget the dragon =o

[GroovyDave]

...wait, The Thirteenth Warrior was supposed to be a Beowulf adaptation? 

It was a pretty straightforward adaptation of the Beowulf legend. Crichton added a bunch of other things to the story to make it his own and the screenwriters added a few more odds and ends and then added a heaping helping of Antonio!  I liked the film because it did a good job of portraying the grim northern warriors as they get their butts chewed by scary monster people. I'm a sucker for costume dramas and the like so I'm willing to forgive some of the sillier aspects.

I haven't had a chance to see the new Beowulf yet, it's not at my local video store that I saw (or at least not off new release). I took an Anglo-Saxon Language and Literature class in college and got to read little bits of Beowulf in the original text. THAT was fun. It's unlike any of the earlier Anglo-Saxon you study for the course so it's a pain when you finally get to it. "You remember all those rules and pronunciation guides we worked on all semester? Yeah, let's ignore that." Here is a really excellent overview of the poem and its place in history.

This link has a segment from Beowulf and if you click on the big capital letters it will play a little audio clip (RealPlayer format) of someone reading the text. That is the part I love the most. Of course it kind of sounds like the Swedish Chef so you can add your own "bork bork bork" at the end of each line.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I think The Thirteenth Warrior isn't so much different in what was added (foreign guy, crazy warriors who think they are bears)  as in what it took out (monster named Grendel who's big enough to carry a large number of men home to devour, grendle's mother who has a magic dagger and lives under a lake, fight with sea monsters, and a great big gremplork DRAGON). In fact, I would say that those particular elements left out would be all the things you need to make beowulf beowulf.

[PlayMSTie]

...wait, The Thirteenth Warrior was supposed to be a Beowulf adaptation? 

It was a pretty straightforward adaptation of the Beowulf legend. Crichton added a bunch of other things to the story to make it his own and the screenwriters added a few more odds and ends and then added a heaping helping of Antonio!  I liked the film because it did a good job of portraying the grim northern warriors as they get their butts chewed by scary monster people. I'm a sucker for costume dramas and the like so I'm willing to forgive some of the sillier aspects.

I haven't had a chance to see the new Beowulf yet, it's not at my local video store that I saw (or at least not off new release). I took an Anglo-Saxon Language and Literature class in college and got to read little bits of Beowulf in the original text. THAT was fun. It's unlike any of the earlier Anglo-Saxon you study for the course so it's a pain when you finally get to it. "You remember all those rules and pronunciation guides we worked on all semester? Yeah, let's ignore that." Here is a really excellent overview of the poem and its place in history.

This link has a segment from Beowulf and if you click on the big capital letters it will play a little audio clip (RealPlayer format) of someone reading the text. That is the part I love the most. Of course it kind of sounds like the Swedish Chef so you can add your own "bork bork bork" at the end of each line.

Beowulf and the Swedish Chef. Now that's a combination I never thought I'd see. 

[GroovyDave]

Beowulf and the Swedish Chef. Now that's a combination I never thought I'd see. 

I did this in class once when we were reading a passage out loud. It just slipped out.

For whatever reason, hearing Anglo Saxon spoken aloud just makes me think of the Swedish Chef. If they'd known about the muppets in 900AD they probably would have added "bork bork bork" on themselves!

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Wow. I've taken a look at the special features. I like the monster-guy (I mean, the one talking about work on the monster SFX). I liked Neil Gaiman's talk. Every time the director popped up, I had to supress an urge to crap in my hand and fling it at the TV screen. I mean wow, what a son of a vondrook. Robert Zemeckis almost rivals the Tom Cruise character from Cocktail for sheer obnoxiousness, and the bloke somehow manages to combine oafish, anti-intellectual stupidity with art-house level pretentiousness.
"This is not the Beowulf you read in high school. It's about killing, and fighting, and eating, and drinking, and fornicating"

Dude, did you even READ Beowulf in high school? Aside from the last bit, you've summed up the essence of Beowulf Classic, and that's probably because Beowulf is too manly to turn to the comfort of a woman, and instead sublimates his sexual energy into agression by waving around metal phallic symbols. I think all the evidence suggests that Zemeckis fell asleep in his classic literature class when they got to the fourth page and there was still no mention of golden boobies.

What a jerk. >.<