List the top 10 films you'd want riffed

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Billy Jack -- SUPER-serious, and impossibly funny. From incomprehensible improv street theatre, to a supposedly naked woman's visible top (thanks to the film's "open-matte" transfer; it's never been issued in widescreen), to its vague "back to nature" philosophical musings, Billy Jack is a comedy treasure.

Is that the one with the hook handed kid playing guitar or is that The Trial of Billy Jack? Either way great suggestion.

I don't remember that but it is the one where the character played by McLaughlin's wife gets raped.  Some how I don't see them wanting to deal with a scene like that (a la Sidehackers).

[gbeenie]

Billy Jack -- SUPER-serious, and impossibly funny. From incomprehensible improv street theatre, to a supposedly naked woman's visible top (thanks to the film's "open-matte" transfer; it's never been issued in widescreen), to its vague "back to nature" philosophical musings, Billy Jack is a comedy treasure.

Is that the one with the hook handed kid playing guitar or is that The Trial of Billy Jack? Either way great suggestion.

I don't remember hook-handed kid, so I'll have to guess it's The Trial of Billy Jack (which I never saw).

[Daezarkian]

Ok, I'll take a stab at this...in reverse order (10 being the least desired, 1 being the movie that MUST be riffed):

10) Supergirl (the only "Super" movie worse than Superman 4!)
9) Gigli (J-Lo and Ben...what's not to hate?)
Rollerball (2002) (did John McTiernan seriously direct this?)
7) Underworld (an action film with ADD....an action film with ADD....)
6) 16 Blocks (the only Bruce Willis action film to actually lull me to sleep)
5) The Da Vinci Code (pretentious, self-important, best-selling crap at its pretentious, self-important, best-selling crappiest)
4) Showgirls (I know, that one's almost too easy....well, maybe not...they *did* riff Battlefield Earth....)
3) Star Wars, Episode III (because I know it's coming)
2) Van Helsing (need I say more?)
1) Doom (Dooooom.....Doooooooooom....sorry, I just like saying it)

[Shin Gallon]

10. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
9. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
8. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
7. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
6. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
5. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
4. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
3. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
2. Michael Bay's "Transformers"
1. Michael Bay's "Transformers"

I cannot possibly overstate how much I hate this movie, and a Rifftrax of it being ripped a new one by Mike and Co. would go a long way toward starting my long, long healing process.

[gbeenie]

Eh. I liked the movie fine, but it IS abundantly Riffable.

[Minnesota]

Yes, Riff Transformers ...  the movie was fun btw

[Manos1977]

Alright I'm gonna whip one out here but I may need to come back and modify this if I come up with some better options.

The more well-known list

10.  Speed -- Keanu wanders around, Hopper is insane, stuff blows up.  What's not to like?

9. Starship Troopers -- You can count on two things when Paul Verhoven makes a movie: It will be mediocre at best, and there will be at least one scene and possibly as many as 342 of pointless female nudity. Riffs by the truckload.

8. The Fast and the Furious -- Were they really serious when they made this?

7. Time Cop -- Two things guaranteed to make for good riffing opportunities: Van-Damme and inevitable time-travel inconsistencies

6. Total Recall -- We need more Ah-nuld.  It doesn't get much cheesier than this even from the guvernator.

5. Commando -- If you do need some Scwartzy that's even more ridiculous than Recall and also without the excuse of being Sci-Fi to cover some of the ridiculousness this is what you gotta go with.

4. Street Fighter: The Movie -- Now really almost any video game movie is prime riffing material but a video game movie that also includes Van-Damme?  Riffing mana from heaven.

3. Universal Soldier -- Van-Damme and Dolph Lundgren in the same movie?  What more could a riffer ask for?

2. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation -- The video game movie that the other video game movies were embarassed got made.  Uwe Boll watched it and said, "Is that really the best you could do with that?"

1. Anaconda -- The absolute modern classic when it comes to lame-o creature movies.  Jon Voight loses his mind, waterfalls flow up, and we get to see from the inside what it looks like when a snake eats a person.  If you only do one more Riff and then retire, it MUST be this one.

The (more) obscure list

10. Hard Boiled -- This John Woo bullet-fest makes the list in honor of the recent release of it's spiritual sequel the video game Stranglehold.  Marvel as Chow Yun Fat wipes out an entire warehouse full of heavily armed thugs single handed.  Seriously.  He really does.  No joke or exageration in the slightest.

9. They LIve -- Great sci-fi with a message trash with possibly the longest fisticuffs scene in history.  Best one liner: Roddy Piper wanders into a bank carying a shotgun and says "I am here to kick ass and chew bubble gum.  But I'm all out of gum."  Then proceeds to blast away.

8. Logan's Run -- The crappy sci-fi fest continues with this disaster-piece of cinema history.  The most convinving miniature work since Ed Wood.  This film holds a special place in my heart for two reasons: My first name happens to actually BE Logan, and the first time I watched this was the first time I ever saw a boob.  The fact that I can remember that fact quite distinctly now makes me quite sad inside.

7. A*P*E -- A fantastically awful Korean rip-off of King Kong featuring miniature work almost as convincing as that seen in Logan's Run.  What makes it even worse is that it was in fact a rip-off of the also stupefyingly awful 1976 remkae instead of the 1933 classic. 

6. Blind Fury -- Rutget Hauer plays a soldier who is blinded in Vietnam but doesn't let that stop him from becoming the most ridiculous bad-ass swordsman of all time wielding a nice piece of work about on par with Uma Thurman's blade from Kill Bill.  Which allows him to go all Kill Bill kill-crazy on a load of henchmen working for the ubiquitous 80s drug king pen.

5. Lone Wolf McQuade -- Chuck Norris in a role almost impossible to imagine him in: a martial arts expert Texas Ranger!  The riff possibilities are endless as he battles evil yuppie gun-runner David Carradine!

4. Hawk the Slayer -- Imagine Lord of the Rings crossed with Superman II.  Now imagine that the movie was produced on a budget of $37.50 and stars Jack Palance as the villain.  That should give you a pretty good idea what to expect from Hawk.

3. Zardoz -- Many post-apocalyptic dystopian sci-fi films tend to have a message attempting to warn us about some aspect of out society that we should be careful to not let get out of control lest it destroy us all.  Zardoz is no exeption, and after watching it what it appears we need to be careful to keep in check is the dangerous number of Sean Connerys running around in diapers and go-go boots.  Or possibly flying Easter Island statues that vomit guns and then explain how they are better than penises, I'm not sure.  Could be both I suppose.

2. Death Race 2000 -- Sylvester Stallone is psychotic egomanical homicidal lunatic.  This comes in handy for his role in Death Race where he happens to portray a psychotic egomanical homicidal lunatic.  Too bad he's still no match for his arch-rival David Carradine in the new national sport: a cross-country race where the drivers earn bonus points for every innocent civilian they run down along the way.

1. Mac & Me -- E.T. phone... lawyer.  Seriously who are they kidding?  A Fistful of Dollars was less like Yojimbo and Kurisawa actually won a copyright lawsuit over that one.  Superbowl commercials have less product placement per second than this film, and if you ever thought there was no way a crippled 12-year-old in a wheelchair falling off a cliff could ever be funny this movie shows you just how wrong you were.  I have gotta see a Riff for this one guys ABSOLUTELY.

[Teamrockit]

Ten films eh, how about:

01.  Star Wars: Episode III Revenge Of The Sith
02.  BloodRayne
03.  Rush Hour
04.  Material Girls
05.  Ed
06.  Batman & Robin
07.  Rollerball (2002)
08.  Are We There Yet?
09.  Waterworld
10.  Any Kevin Costner Movie In General

[Manos1977]

BTW Star Wars Episode III and Batman and Robin are both left off my list because i KNOW both of those are only a matter of time.

Trying to keep mine to stuff that isn't generally on the radar yet

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

10.  Any Kevin Costner Movie In General

Except JFK.....

No matter what you think of Garrison and what the truth is about who shot Kennedy.....too painful a subject, still.

[Margoo1977]

I have two lists– each list is for very different reasons.  The first list is of movies I've paid money to see in theaters.  They've hurt me – and I need to hurt them back.  In no particular order:

Anaconda – This movie is just such an obvious choice that any comments here would be superfluous.
Starship Troopers – One movie that I've found is part of a great divide – guys dig it, girls hate it.  I've never fought more about how much a movie sucked then when I fought over this one.
Bride of Chucky - Not scary enough to be horror, not funny enough to be comedy.  I'd live with any in the series, though.
Stay Alive – Maybe I was in a penitent mood and watching this movie and it was my self-imposed punishment.  The "cut this down to a PG-13" edits were so obvious I was surprised you couldn't hear the sound of the scissors.
Ghost Rider – I hate to admit it, but I was looking forward to this and was severely disappointed.  The special effects were decent, but plot went nowhere and stay there.
Batman and Robin – What can I say that hasn't already been said?
Constantine – I have to admit, I kind of liked this movie, but in an "I know this movie sucks" kind of way.
Armageddon – One of the two asteroid movies to come out in 1998, the completely impossible plot line is fortunately augmented with an annoying love story.
Ultraviolet – Since they didn't have much of a plot to fall back on they filled in the gaps with CGI effects, impossible fight sequences, and various other shiny objects.
This last one is for my best friend:
Face/off – She HATES this movie, and she deserves her vengeance as well.

After my revenge on those, I would like these:
Superman 4 – Especially considering it's based on a comic strip, it's one of the most heavy-handed, preachy movies I've ever seen. 
Ferngully – Speaking of "beating your head in with the message."
Masters of the Universe – The special effects sucked, even back then.
Sahara and National Treasure – for the same reason – they both have groups of people searching for mythical treasure by seemingly wandering around and then finding the next clue location through weak clues and lucky guesses.
Hard Rain – I didn't see anyone else mention that movie, so if someone did, I'm sorry.  Dark (and I mean poorly lit) and incomprehensible, it's extremely worthy.

Lost in Space – it made the series seem well crafted and finely nuanced.  One of the few films that was so bad it made me cry.
Evil Dead – I love this movie, but good or bad – movies are just better with Rifftrax.
I think I'll leave it at that.  I'll need some space if more good or bad movies come to mind.

This is my first post so please, be kind.

[gbeenie]

10.  Any Kevin Costner Movie In General

Except JFK.....

No matter what you think of Garrison and what the truth is about who shot Kennedy.....too painful a subject, still.

If it was 1975, maybe.

Besides, the great crime of Stone's film is that he trades any genuine feeling of national tragedy associated with Kennedy's assassination for endorsement of wholesale crackpottery. If it could be made entertaining (always my first consideration) without the length bogging it down, I'm all in favor of a JFK Riff.

[BathTub]

"Back and to the left,.... Back and to the left,.... Back and to the left,....."

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Besides, the great crime of Stone's film is that he trades any genuine feeling of national tragedy associated with Kennedy's assassination for endorsement of wholesale crackpottery.

"Back and to the left,.... Back and to the left,.... Back and to the left,....."

Why do I get the feeling if Stone had made Jesus of Nazareth, the two of you would start celebrating Hanukkah (or The Ten Commandments you'd start hand-carving Nativity Scenes).

[gbeenie]

Actually, if Stone made Jesus of Nazareth, that would probably be REALLY funny (granted, the vast majority of Oliver Stone's movies are unintentional comedies anyway...).