List the top 10 films you'd want riffed

[Hebs]

5.  I Spit On Your Grave 

Considered the worst movie ever made by Roger Ebert (yes, even worse than North, and we all remember his review of that, thanks to the Rob Reiner roast), the premise of this shlocksploitation slasher horror movie is that a woman is brutally raped by some good ol' boys, and then proceeds to murder them in grisly fashion.  While it sounds like a possible female empowerment b-movie horror film, Ebert noted that there was just as much audience cheering during the overly drawn-out and belabored rape scene as there was during the revenge killings.  Not much about this movie to recommend for human viewing.  Animals and robots probably shouldn't view it, either, just to be safe.

I remember a friend of mine saying to me, "You HAVE to see this film."  Forty minutes into it, I stood up, said, "I quit," walked out of the room and immediately started trying to put the shattered pieces of my soul back together again.

You got 40 minutes in?  And what kind of friend IS this?  This movie has nothing to do with female empowerment, it's trash.  Please, let's never even mention this film - it gives us dry heaves.  I did read Ebert's review, and he said he should "know better than to see this film on a Monday morning, because the people in the theather are desperately in need of jobs - or AA -"  I don't know, something to that effect.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

5.  I Spit On Your Grave 

Considered the worst movie ever made by Roger Ebert (yes, even worse than North, and we all remember his review of that, thanks to the Rob Reiner roast), the premise of this shlocksploitation slasher horror movie is that a woman is brutally raped by some good ol' boys, and then proceeds to murder them in grisly fashion.  While it sounds like a possible female empowerment b-movie horror film, Ebert noted that there was just as much audience cheering during the overly drawn-out and belabored rape scene as there was during the revenge killings.  Not much about this movie to recommend for human viewing.  Animals and robots probably shouldn't view it, either, just to be safe.

I remember a friend of mine saying to me, "You HAVE to see this film."  Forty minutes into it, I stood up, said, "I quit," walked out of the room and immediately started trying to put the shattered pieces of my soul back together again.

You got 40 minutes in?  And what kind of friend IS this?  This movie has nothing to do with female empowerment, it's trash.  Please, let's never even mention this film - it gives us dry heaves.  I did read Ebert's review, and he said he should "know better than to see this film on a Monday morning, because the people in the theather are desperately in need of jobs - or AA -"  I don't know, something to that effect.

Only film I've ever felt that all copies should be rounded up and dumped in a vat of acid....

[bettertomorrowamy]

This is how I felt about "Natural Born Killers".  It sounded good, and then I saw it.  I've never got all the way through.

[ObscureGamer]

I got about half a dozen posts on I Spit On Your Grave....did anyone have anything to say about any of the other movies on my list? 

[Junkyard]

1-Godzilla (1998)
2- I Robot
3- Superman Returns
4- Underworld 1 or 2
5- Titanic
6- ALiens vs Predator
7- Star Trek First Contact
8-The Island
9- Some musical (Rent?)
10- Indiana Jones (Any)

[ObscureGamer]

1-Godzilla (1998)
2- I Robot
3- Superman Returns
4- Underworld 1 or 2
5- Titanic
6- ALiens vs Predator
7- Star Trek First Contact
8-The Island
9- Some musical (Rent?)
10- Indiana Jones (Any)

The Island was already riffed, when it was called Clonus : the Parts Horror

[Tripe]

7.  The Conqueror     

John Wayne with a glue-on Manchu goatee, trying to act Mongolian?  He comes off looking like a Klingon cosplayer.  His usual dry, flat Texan tone remains completely unchanged for his role as an Oriental barbarian.   This film was tragically responsible for John Wayne's death, as he and several other cast members came down with cancer because the film was shot downwind of a nuclear testing facility.  I think I can relate to that pain, now that I've seen this movie.

Oh I'd second that one, I find white people pretending to be Asian and doing it seriously to be the height of train wreck entertainment.  I don't know why they think they can get away with it.

I read Sax Rohmer for essentially the same reason. I tell you Occidental Orientalism created some spectacular cringeworthyness.

[Junkyard]

The Island was already riffed, when it was called Clonus : the Parts Horror

The concept so gruesome, they... uh... made it a twosome?

Oh, and it's Parts: The Clonus Horror.

[RobtheBarbarian]

[Oh I'd second that one, I find white people pretending to be Asian and doing it seriously to be the height of train wreck entertainment.  I don't know why they think they can get away with it.

I can't tell you how many Attila the Hun movies are like that too. There's one where Gerard Butler plays Attila.

[Tripe]

[Oh I'd second that one, I find white people pretending to be Asian and doing it seriously to be the height of train wreck entertainment.  I don't know why they think they can get away with it.

I can't tell you how many Attila the Hun movies are like that too. There's one where Gerard Butler plays Attila.

Well with Attila there's some leeway since he was Khan of the European Huns. This would be the scope of his influence (see where the capital is?)



He mostly likely looked more sort of Central European/Magyar, admittedly not Scottish but certainly less Asian than say Temüjin or Timur

[ObscureGamer]

7.  The Conqueror     

John Wayne with a glue-on Manchu goatee, trying to act Mongolian?  He comes off looking like a Klingon cosplayer.  His usual dry, flat Texan tone remains completely unchanged for his role as an Oriental barbarian.   This film was tragically responsible for John Wayne's death, as he and several other cast members came down with cancer because the film was shot downwind of a nuclear testing facility.  I think I can relate to that pain, now that I've seen this movie.

Oh I'd second that one, I find white people pretending to be Asian and doing it seriously to be the height of train wreck entertainment.  I don't know why they think they can get away with it.

I read Sax Rohmer for essentially the same reason. I tell you Occidental Orientalism created some spectacular cringeworthyness.

LOL, Sax Rohmer.   Fu Man Chu was the most racist piece of shit ever, and yet I can't help but admire it for inspiring slightly less racist yet still enjoyable xenophobic supervillainy, like the James Bond series (no, really, read the books! Oddjob's favorite food was DOG). But yeah,
Fu Man Chu, we hardly knew ye.    "How sweet and sour this victory shall be.....General Tso! I want you to kung pao my enemies into
submission.  They were dim sum to underestimate my schezuan determination."

[RobtheBarbarian]

Well with Attila there's some leeway since he was Khan of the European Huns. This would be the scope of his influence (see where the capital is?)
He mostly likely looked more sort of Central European/Magyar, admittedly not Scottish but certainly less Asian than say Temüjin or Timur

True, but it's generally thought that he was born in Central Asia and migrated to the Balkans. Gerard Butler is A) probably just as Scottish as he is in 300 and B) looks like someone you'd see walking along the beach in California.

[Tripe]

[Well with Attila there's some leeway since he was Khan of the European Huns. This would be the scope of his influence (see where the capital is?)
He mostly likely looked more sort of Central European/Magyar, admittedly not Scottish but certainly less Asian than say Temüjin or Timur

True, but it's generally thought that he was born in Central Asia and migrated to the Balkans. Gerard Butler is A) probably just as Scottish as he is in 300 and B) looks like someone you'd see walking along the beach in California.

Well yes but regardless of his place of birth the European Huns were related to the Magyar, sort of Eurasian looking. Yeah Butler would be a terrible choice and consequently I must seek out this film forthwith!

LOL, Sax Rohmer.   Fu Man Chu was the most racist piece of shit ever, and yet I can't help but admire it for inspiring slightly less racist yet still enjoyable xenophobic supervillainy,

See if the studio had had the nounce to keep the original paper villain in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (it's the good Dr. Fu) the film would have been slightly less crap.

[ObscureGamer]

[Well with Attila there's some leeway since he was Khan of the European Huns. This would be the scope of his influence (see where the capital is?)
He mostly likely looked more sort of Central European/Magyar, admittedly not Scottish but certainly less Asian than say Temüjin or Timur

True, but it's generally thought that he was born in Central Asia and migrated to the Balkans. Gerard Butler is A) probably just as Scottish as he is in 300 and B) looks like someone you'd see walking along the beach in California.

Well yes but regardless of his place of birth the European Huns were related to the Magyar, sort of Eurasian looking. Yeah Butler would be a terrible choice and consequently I must seek out this film forthwith!

LOL, Sax Rohmer.   Fu Man Chu was the most racist piece of shit ever, and yet I can't help but admire it for inspiring slightly less racist yet still enjoyable xenophobic supervillainy,

See if the studio had had the nounce to keep the original paper villain in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (it's the good Dr. Fu) the film would have been slightly less crap.

Although Peter Sellers' The Fiendish Plot of Fu Man Chu got horrible reviews, I actually enjoyed it.  I especially liked the fact that he had a spy network operating out of one of his Chinese restaraunts.

[Tripe]

Although Peter Sellers' The Fiendish Plot of Fu Man Chu got horrible reviews, I actually enjoyed it.  I especially liked the fact that he had a spy network operating out of one of his Chinese restaraunts.

But you know why that's cool? Because it might actually work. That's the same reason I love Live and Let Die: when you strip away the ludicrous the plan itself is sort of workable. 

Nothing compares to the sheer horror/wonder of One of Dinosaurs is Missing. English Nannies vs Triads in a fight to the death!