List the top 10 films you'd want riffed

[tmoverbeck]

10. Hudson Hawk - Bruce Willis is a... what was he again? Yeah, it was that forgettable.
9. Vamp - Think a low-rent "Blade" with a fanged Grace Jones (she arguably pioneered the high-top fade).
8. Tank Girl - A punk-rock chick that sometimes changes into a cartoon.
7. Cool World - Brad Pitt gets trapped in a Ralph Bakshi animation.
6. Toys - If you ever get Joel Hodgson to guest-riff, you gotta have him do this one.
5. Gigli - Nuff said.
4. Midnight Madness - It's Road Rules set in 1980, headed by some hairy geek named Leon and featuring Michael J. Fox and Pee Wee Herman before they got famous.
3. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - Too easy a target.
2. Batman & Robin - Nippled armor!
And #1... Magical Mystery Tour. Love the music, but by the end of the film the whole thing really went nowhere... man.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

4. Midnight Madness - It's Road Rules set in 1980, headed by some hairy geek named Leon and featuring Michael J. Fox and Pee Wee Herman before they got famous.

Awww....I like that movie.  Funny movie.



David "I'm A Pepper" Naughton, Eddie Deezen, Stephen Furst, Debra Clinger ("Superchick" from The Kroft Supershow, if you're old enough to remember that) and the afore mentioned Michael J. Fox and Paul Reubens.

Might be interesting.

[gbeenie]

Oh, I remember the Krofft Supershow...

Captain Kool & The Kongs are permanently burned onto the backs of my eyelids...

[call_me_nuveena]

10. Titanic
9. Cat-Woman
8. Titanic
7. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
6. Titanic
5. Independence Day
4. Titanic
3. Dante's Peak / Volcano / The Peak of Dante's Volcano
2. Titanic
1. Titanic 2: Electric Boogaloo

[Minnesota]

I agree with 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, and 1 the most

the others work well too

[nemo0037]

1: The Day After Tomorrow
2: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
3: The rest of the Star Trek movies -- PARTICULARLY the first one
4: The rest of the Star Wars movies -- PARTICULARLY Return of the Jedi -- Lucas must be punished for the EWOKS!!
5: All of Pirates of the Caribbean
6: Spider Man
7: Titanic
8: All the Harry Potter films
9: 2001: A Space Odyssey (and get 2010: Odyssey 2 while you're at it)
10: The Da Vinci Code

I have a long list of others... too bad this is limited to just 10.

[crevis2k7]

YOU HAVE TO DO BLOODRAYNE! I know it might cause you internal bleeding but it would totally be worth ripping the film to shreds!

[Downshaw]

I'm a new participant to the Round Table, but I've enjoyed reading others' comments.

I have a few suggestions of films deserving riffing.  How about "Firebirds", "Masters of the Universe" (the He-Man one with Dolph), "Garfield", and "Wing Commander".  Those are all pretty terrible movies, right?  I mean, I've never been the voice of a Tom Servo or acted as a Mike Nelson, but I can't help thinking these would make good RiffTrax subjects.

[Junkyard]

Welcome to the Round Table! I could second Garfield, by the way.

[Fionn]

1) Waterworld.   WORST movie ever made (at least Eragon had a kick-ass dragon, but that was about it, and Eragon's been done).

2) Independence day.
"Why?  That's why!" "Oh, is the smog really that bad?"

3) Hannibal.  If there is a really good story, Ridley Scott CAN screw it up.

4) Legend.  See previous.
In one scene, Tim Curry (as Dark) is under ultraviolet light with a lot of photoreactive makeup.  Hey, it's Satan at a rave!
In another scene, Tom Cruise is holding a fox.  Never mind the rabies.
So we have a human, an elf, and two dwarves...all we need are another human and four hobbits, and we've got the complete set!
"Do you mean to eat me?" "Indeed I do!" "Don't I get a saving throw?"
"The sun is my enemy!" "That and Rocky Horror floor shows!" Should Tim Curry be shouting out his weakness where everyone can hear it?

5) Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone.  A prepubescent mage with more balls than a quidditch game.  Okay, maybe you need to read the book first to figure that one out...

6) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  The modern one.
"Everything in this room is edible, including me!" "In other words, bite me!"

7) Blood and Chocolate.
"Hey, wolf girl!" "Oh crap, he's seen me and I haven't had my flea dip yet!"
"If you make it to the river, you win your life." "And you get an oompaloompa song before we kill you."
"So, what is it, are blood and chocolate the two new tastes that taste great together?"

Dragonheart.  As a movie it was only "okay."  But it has a helluva lot of opportunities for riffs.
"So it was you who killed the scarred one.  She and I were going to start over." "I hadn't gotten any in three hundred years, you know!  Thanks a LOT, Bowen!"
"I only chewed in self defense.  But I didn't swallow!" Ladies and gentlemen, President Draco Clinton.

9) Dragonheart: A new beginning.  This movie falls just short of acceptable into "subpar."  Probably worse.
At the end of the movie...their adventures are cut short when Anne McCaffrey slapped Drake with a thousand lawsuits.

10) Congo.  This one is just one level above the atrocity that was Eragon.  Even Crichton was angry with what they did to this movie.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

) Legend.  See previous.
In one scene, Tim Curry (as Dark) is under ultraviolet light with a lot of photoreactive makeup.  Hey, it's Satan at a rave!
In another scene, Tom Cruise is holding a fox.  Never mind the rabies.
So we have a human, an elf, and two dwarves...all we need are another human and four hobbits, and we've got the complete set!
"Do you mean to eat me?" "Indeed I do!" "Don't I get a saving throw?"
"The sun is my enemy!" "That and Rocky Horror floor shows!" Should Tim Curry be shouting out his weakness where everyone can hear it?

Legend was hard to sit through.....but never because of Tim Curry.  He's the one thing that made it tolerable.

[bettertomorrowamy]

1 Fire Down Below      Nominated for a 1997 Razzie

2 Universal Soldier:  The Return     Goldberg is in it

3 Matrix Reloaded        After his speech, the citizens dance in a percussion-driven frenzy

4 Cliffhanger               starring Stallone as a professional mountain climber and rescue expert, who gets roped into a scheme masterminded by                            criminal skyjackers

5 Karate Kid            Daniel faces his enemies in a championship karate tournament

6 Fire Down Below       Nominated for a 1997 Razzie

7 Navy Seals         promo for the U.S. Navy

8 Fire Down Below        Nominated for a 1997 Razzie

9 Lethal Weapon          Mel Gibson

10 Fire Down Below       Nominated for a 1997 Razzie

[call_me_nuveena]

Legend was hard to sit through.....but [i[never[/i] because of Tim Curry.  He's the one thing that made it tolerable.

That reminds me: Willow could use a good riffing, but I fear Mike et. al. wouldn't live through The Suck.  And they've done some terrible movies in their day.

[ObscureGamer]

1.  The Devil's Rain 

What what what? How did BBI overlook this gem? It stars Ernest Borgnine as a high satanic priest (reprising his role from Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, apparently), and features John Travolta and William Shatner as hapless mortals caught in his web of evil, deceit, and of course, laughable sub-sitcom acting.

2.  G.I. Samurai

Q : What do you get when you send a platoon of Japanese W.W. II soldiers back in time to feudal Japan?  A : One of the worst movies ever made.  This film is actually laughable, and is a relatively low-pain, easy-to-riff-on film, until near the end, when a shrill, repetitive childrens' chorus will cut you like a knife, and make you want to commit seppuku, taking the only honorable way out of finishing the movie.

3.  Death Mask of the Ninja 

One of those movies that was probably a lot more entertaining in its original language, Chinese, but after the three holy fools (mentally retarded Shaolin monks who are half Bruce Lee, and half Larry/Curly/Moe) are dubbed into English, they all come out sounding like Eric Idle, making this action-filled kung fu film so much buffoonery and laughter.

4.  The Terror

A crappy film even by Roger Corman's standards; I won't spoil the plot for you, but suffice to say it involves an hour and a half of a young Jack Nicholson pretending to be a French officer, without displaying any kind of accent, or acting for that matter.  It also involves him unsuccessfully pursuing the ghost of a girl he's smitten with, and being attacked by a bird constantly for some reason.  So...yeah...um....enjoy.

5.  I Spit On Your Grave 

Considered the worst movie ever made by Roger Ebert (yes, even worse than North, and we all remember his review of that, thanks to the Rob Reiner roast), the premise of this shlocksploitation slasher horror movie is that a woman is brutally raped by some good ol' boys, and then proceeds to murder them in grisly fashion.  While it sounds like a possible female empowerment b-movie horror film, Ebert noted that there was just as much audience cheering during the overly drawn-out and belabored rape scene as there was during the revenge killings.  Not much about this movie to recommend for human viewing.  Animals and robots probably shouldn't view it, either, just to be safe.

6.  North 

Funny I should mention North in the previous movie; it had to appear somewhere in this list.   The truly shocking thing is that this movie came from an otherwise entertaining director, Rob Reiner, who also brought us gems like The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, This Is Spinal Tap!, and A Few Good Men.  Yet here, Reiner tries, and fails, to make a movie that is aimed at children.  Why does it fail in this regard? Well, it is insufferably kiddy, but it's also over two hours long, which means that any kids in the theater would be kicking the seats in front of them and wailing due to boredom about an hour before it's over.   The 2+ hour plot basically entails a boy trying to find foster parents who are better than his real parents.  Except that unlike the vastly more sympathetic Matilda from Roald Dahl's novel, his original parents weren't really that bad. 

7.  The Conqueror     

John Wayne with a glue-on Manchu goatee, trying to act Mongolian?  He comes off looking like a Klingon cosplayer.  His usual dry, flat Texan tone remains completely unchanged for his role as an Oriental barbarian.   This film was tragically responsible for John Wayne's death, as he and several other cast members came down with cancer because the film was shot downwind of a nuclear testing facility.  I think I can relate to that pain, now that I've seen this movie.

8.  Howard the Duck

Discovering that this.......thing...........was a Marvel Comics creation, has greatly shattered my geeky worldview that Marvel is somehow infallible.  After seeing this movie, I'm not even sure that they stand for good or humanity, but rather, are trying to infiltrate entertainment and poison it, kind of like introducing anthrax into the water supply.

9.  Catwoman

Jay Pinkerton said it best when he laughingly described her (Halle Berry's) libido-killing outfit as "a crimefighting were-badger".   When did Catwoman go from the "Raowwrr!!!" sexy of Eartha Kitt and Michelle Pfeiffer, to the "no thanks, I may have to rethink my orientation now" of Halle Berry?

10.  Hudson Hawk

I saw this film when I was quite young, and it took me a long time after viewing it, to be able to accept the possibility that Bruce Willis could be cool, funny, or good.  It's just that bad.  It tries to be deliberately funny, and it fails miserably.   It has more bathroom humor and sight gags than a Rob Schneider movie; one such "gag" involves a chihuahua being kicked out of the window of a high-rise where it plummets to its death.  Enjoy.   Possibly the worst movie that ever had anything to do with Leonardo da Vinci, even counting Quest of the Delta Knights.

[call_me_nuveena]

5.  I Spit On Your Grave 

Considered the worst movie ever made by Roger Ebert (yes, even worse than North, and we all remember his review of that, thanks to the Rob Reiner roast), the premise of this shlocksploitation slasher horror movie is that a woman is brutally raped by some good ol' boys, and then proceeds to murder them in grisly fashion.  While it sounds like a possible female empowerment b-movie horror film, Ebert noted that there was just as much audience cheering during the overly drawn-out and belabored rape scene as there was during the revenge killings.  Not much about this movie to recommend for human viewing.  Animals and robots probably shouldn't view it, either, just to be safe.

I remember a friend of mine saying to me, "You HAVE to see this film."  Forty minutes into it, I stood up, said, "I quit," walked out of the room and immediately started trying to put the shattered pieces of my soul back together again.

To put this into perspective, I made through  all of View From the Top.  Only once, but I didn't walk out.