Greetings from Wisconsin

[call_me_nuveena]

You're a humor columnist?  How do you get a gig like that?  Seriously, one of my life's ambitions is to be the next Dave Barry.  But I wouldn't even know how to get started.  (Although I'm sure if I asked Dave himself that question, he would probably say something to the effect of "drink beer on a regular basis.")

I ask myself the same thing everyday.  I still think getting a column of my own was a fluke, and my editor will eventually realize that she meant to hire the guy who actually graduated from college (with a degree in Journalism, no doubt) and not the girl who bombarded her with articles she'd written during her lunch breaks at the job she hated more than anything else on the planet.

Seriously, submit some things to a local paper.  If they have a "Lifestyle" or "Community" section, they probably want to fill the space with things written by people who live in the area.  My goal is to eventually get my column syndicated (and while I don't want to be Dave Barry, being female and all, I would not mind having his career), but I'm waiting until my column's first anniversary (this November) to start working on that in earnest.

Another thing you could do, either instead of or in conjunction with submitting to newspapers, is seek out websites that publish humorous articles or essays.  You probably won't get paid, but building a resume is more important at this point anyway.  I've done other, straight articles for other newspapers for this reason, and my portfolio currently boasts over 40 articles, even though I started doing this less than nine months ago.  Just be careful when dealing with online magazines, and make sure you will retain the rights to your work.  You can probably tell the difference between a good humor site and a bad one, so use your best judgment when submitting.

Finally, be wary of other writers.  I don't mean act like they're all out to get you, but here's the thing to keep in mind: Everyone has their own ideas about who is and is not a "real" writer.  Some will say you have to get a BA in Journalism.  Some will say you need to get an MFA in Journalism.  Some will say you should have started writing the moment you fell out of your mother.  Some will say you need to have written over a million words, or thirty short stories, or five novels or blah blah blah.  I'm not saying that everyone who writes a poem or diary entry now and then is a writer, there is a certain dedication required, but if you've got that, you're a writer, and don't let any smug asshole tell you otherwise.  And you will meet those smug assholes, particularly after you get your first piece published.  I'm guessing you're already your own worst critic (hazard of the trade); you don't need the opinions of unimportant jerkwads adding to the pressure that comes with being in a creative profession.

Gee, did I ramble enough?  Class dismissed. *laughs*

[call_me_nuveena]

I think you have to be funny.

It certainly helps, but, trust me, it's not a requirement. *smirk*

[daltysmilth]

Any chance you could give us some links to some of your own work?  So we can mercilously rip them to shreds with our cutting, unnecessarily harsh criticism and ad hominem attacks against you?  Uh... I mean read and enjoy them?

[bettertomorrowamy]

Yes I too would like to slice and dice them...I mean enjoy their funny laughing jokiness.

[Thom_Serveaux]

Greetings and Salutations New-Member Type Personage, feel free to walk quietly among other members of these forums, but know their power for they are your rivals. Quietly crush them as you work diligently through the night.  Pay attention to the Platypus behind the curtain, for he is your ally.  Drink deeply and lustfully from the foamy draught of Evil that is Tarantulas... Here take these items and use them to aid you in your toils... *Gives call_me_nuveena a Smoking Jacket (with several packets of designer smoke), a Mexican Jumping Bean-Bag Chair , and a tin of freshly made Artificial Demon Dog Cookies, made with Genuine Artificial Demon Dogs* ...and Uh, do it to the other guy before he does it to you, and be bad to the bone.  Won't you?  Thank you...

[call_me_nuveena]

Any chance you could give us some links to some of your own work?  So we can mercilously rip them to shreds with our cutting, unnecessarily harsh criticism and ad hominem attacks against you?  Uh... I mean read and enjoy them?

Tell you what, if it wouldn't bother anybody, I could post a couple things here at the forum.  I have a blog and an author website, but I'm hesitant to give the addresses out to everybody.  But if no one would mind, I'd love to share bits and pieces of my writing in another thread (or on this thread, if you think that would be better).

[Junkyard]

I wouldn't have a problem- I've seen a bit of your stuff already, and it's quite funny at times.

[Minnesota]

But if no one would mind, I'd love to share bits and pieces of my writing in another thread (or on this thread, if you think that would be better).

cool, go for it!

[BathTub]

I can't see why it would be a problem, go ahead.

[call_me_nuveena]

Okay, instead of posting writing-stuff here, I got myself a Live Journal.  So read or ignore at your own discretion.

http://call-me-nuveena.livejournal.com

[Raven]

Greetings fellow Wisconsinite, from the town so small and trapped in a valley that most cell phones don't work, Berlin.

[call_me_nuveena]

Greetings fellow Wisconsinite, from the town so small and trapped in a valley that most cell phones don't work, Berlin.

I feel your pain. *wince*

[Junkyard]

Wait, Berlin or New Berlin? Cause if it's the latter, we live 8 minutes apart.

[Steve-O]

Mitchell!

Just felt it needed to be said.

[call_me_nuveena]

"That Mitchell is one bad--"

"SHUT YO' MOUTH!"

"Hey, I'm just talkin' about Mitchell, can you dig it?"