RiffTrax Forum
 

What have we learned?

Started by Junkyard, July 02, 2007, 05:39:29 PM

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Junkyard

Emotion chips make robots stupid and ineffective... instantly. Why do they make them? God alone knows.

Just Some Guy

I learned that Kirk really wouldn't die alone, no matter how much we hoped he would.

I learned that it's surprisingly easy to take out the Federation flagship.

Junkyard

If you fail to stop someone from destroying a sun and killing millions of people, and then are confronted by a potentially lethal anomoly, you won't have a single thing to say. No "NOOOOOOOOO's," no "YOU'RE MAD, YOU FOOL!"

Hazzah

Kirk would rather ride a horse than ride a woman...poor old pausing freak!!

Either that or that bitch musta been UG---LEE!
Hi-Keeba!

Indomitus

#4
I learned that it's possible to build a small rocket that not only will clear the atmosphere, but make it all the way to the planet's sun, in 11 seconds without blasting a huge crater in the ground beneath it from the thrust or encountering any friction in the planet's atmosphere from the speed.

I also learned that it's impossible to scan a planet's surface for life signs to find a person, and then to blast the bejeezus out of the area with the ship's weapons.  Instead, one person must beam down to the surface and fight the bad guy manno-a-manno.

(sorry, I just go mental when trying to reconcile Star Trek science with reality)

Big Blonde

I learned that a rocket capable of blowing up a SUN will just cause a big bonfire when detonated on a planet.
"The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting."
Milan Kundera

Junkyard

I learned that on ships prone to heavy impacts, designers will not include seat belts, but will include tons of rails.

Also, I learned once again that in the future, consoles will spark (yet still kinda work) when the hull of the ship is hit.

I learned not to let myself serve under Picard, as he would soon have me dressed up in all sorts of precious costumes and pretending to be a sailor on the Holodeck.

markusdragon

I learned that despite the fact that Picard's most obvious character flaw from the series is 'not good with children', his paradise is filled with young children with horrendously bad accents.
Spaaaahk

Junkyard

I learned that Picard considers a ferris wheel a standard Christmas decoration.

I learned that Number 1 has a ridiculously cocky additude for someone with such a dumb name.

Crowmeus

That no one with RiffTrax watched Voyager, since there were no references to Tuvok. (Since Tim Russ played one of the officers on the Enterprise-B.)

Just Some Guy

Quote from: Crowmeus on July 03, 2007, 05:51:27 AM
That no one with RiffTrax watched Voyager, since there were no references to Tuvok. (Since Tim Russ played one of the officers on the Enterprise-B.)

Wait... someone watched Voyager?

Quicksilver

#11
I learned Star trek does really suck. I also learned the nexis can let you do anything half assed. Man you guys would not want to see my perfect being. Lets just say it wouldnt be cooking eggs up in a cabin.
Apparently you can just leave this thing, that was extremely hard to get into and go back in time just barely early enough to stop everything. Which I also learned helps save you shooting costs, by replaying 20 minutes or so of movie.

I almost forgot but somehow didnt, I must buy more rifftrax.
The Ood: The Beast and his armies will rise from the pit to make war against God.
Rose: I'm sorry?
The Ood: Apologies. I said: I hope you enjoy your meal.

Junkyard

I learned that Woopie Goldberg doesn't NEED to make sense.

RVR II

#13
I almost forgot but somehow didnt, I must buy more rifftrax.
[/quote]

PROBLEM: What if I have All of the Rifftrax, and that voice keeps telling me; "BUY MORE RIFFTRAX!" ???
I sense that perhaps 'The Forces That Be' are telling me something more sinister subliminally..


MarkAndrew

I learned that the purportedly 'French' Jean Luc Picard, dreams of Victorian English women and children.