List the top 10 films you'd want riffed

[Bob]

Ok, I have a real list now. Movies I'd like to see riffed, in no particular order:

8. The 13th Warrior - Vikings!

Dear sir, you sell this short.   Vikings plus arabs plus canables, plus random things = cinema gold

[bondfool]

1. From Justin to Kelly.  Like Glitter, but more cliched.
2. Meet the Robinsons.  I hated myself for watching it.
3. Rocky III-VI.  The other two are OFF LIMITS.
4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.  Docta Jones!  EENDEEEE!  Docta Jones!  EENDEEEE!   Docta Jones!  EENDEEEE!   Docta Jones!  EENDEEEE!   Docta Jones!  EENDEEEE!   Docta Jones!
5. Total Recall.  Get your ass to MARS!
6. Pirates of the Caribbean.  MONKEY!
7. Beverly Hills, 90210, the pilot episode, available on DVD.
8. Hulk.
9. Grease 2.
10. Moonraker.  A rare misstep for the usually brilliantly entertaining James Bond series.

[RobtheBarbarian]

8. The 13th Warrior - Vikings!

Sadly the only movie I'm aware of that doesn't have the Vikings wearing horns or fur loincloths is an otherwise unremarkable film. My only other options for movie barbarians are, what, the first 15 minutes of Gladiator and Pathfinder? My only condolance is that comic book fans have it about as bad.

[Jormungandr]

I actually have a list of the top ten worst movies I've ever seen...
1. Starcrash -- a 1979 vintage pile of starwars knockoff crap that starts a SMOKING SMOKING hot woman whose main function appears to be looking awesome in a bikini. Favorite line from the movie "The evil Count's weapon could be there. Scan it with our computer waves."

2. Svankmajer's  Faust -- This movie makes anti sense. Favorite line "What my brain cannot comprehend / might go in the other end!"

3. Starwars Holiday Special -- I doubt Mike will do this one, which is why I am going to see if I can.

4. Neco z Alenky By the guy who did Faust -- This movie has puppets, and I think it is based on Alice in Wonderland. Plus it has a White Rabbit who keeps leaking sawdust and eating it. No favorite line, but at one point a mouse makes a campfire on Alice's head.

5. SHOGUN ASSASSIN --! The movie that brought us extremely hypertensive villains and badly done kung-fu fighting. Favorite line Woman: "I am the supreme Ninja!" Man:"*GRUNT*"

6. The Blob -- 1958 Lots of comedic potential in this -- scared the crap outta me as a kid. Favorite line "*WHAM* You think its gone?"

7. Dead Alive -- Uhhhh, a Zombie flick, I think. There's a hairless killer rat. and a kung-fu priest. Favorite line 'I kick ass for the Lord!"

8. Any of the Evil dead movies -- You could 'prolly convince Bruce Campbell to help riff them too.

9. Forbidden Zone This movie is hilariously and intentionally bad. Favorite line: King:"Oh my sweet, I will have Zombie astronauts!" (I forget the exact line but it was something about zombies in space.) I realize that there is a female character that spends the entire movie topless... Which just adds to the fun! That shouldn't interfere with  a riff though, right?

10. Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Staring 'El Santos' the guy from Samson Vs the Vampire Women. Vampires are killing lesbians in Toronto? A clown based atheist group wants to kill Jesus. There is a character called 'oddbottom' Favorite line: "Hi dad! (Jesus talking to an apparently sentient bowl of icecream, while eating it)"

[there_is_no_spoon]

Lots of cool suggestions so far.

My list is full of ones already suggested, but they're just so good (or is it bad?) that they must be reiterated.

10. Willow - I love this movie, but it's just too good a target.
09. Planet of the Apes - Another movie I love, but again, the potential is so great.
08. Godzilla (1998 remake) - Obvious, I think.
07. Mortal Kombat 2 - The Unholy Video Game trilogy, part 1
06. Super Mario Bros. - The Unholy Video Game trilogy, part 2
05. Street Fighter: The Movie - yadda yadda yadda, part 3 - What I like about these 3 is you don't have to know anything about the games to realize their badness.
04. Rollerball (2002 remake) - An unbelievable mess, seemingly cobbled together at the last minute out of broken dreams and duct tape.
03. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot - ... yeah
02. Batman & Robin - I will quote the esteemed Michael J. Nelson: "Batman & Robin is not the worst movie ever. No, indeed. It's the worst thing ever. Yes, it's the single worst thing that we as human beings have ever produced in recorded history."
And yet I top it with, yes,
01. Xanadu - This has to be the worst, most pointless movie I've ever seen. Ever.

I considered mentioning Baby Geniuses or The Adventures of Pluto Nash but then I realized, no, I would never actually wish those movies upon a fellow human being.

I agree with many of your guys' other choices, but c'mon, The 13th Warrior? The Day After Tomorrow? I actually enjoyed those movies. Maybe that says more about me than anything else.

And Silent Hill? The Passion of the Christ? Really? I can't imagine anything funny enough to make me laugh during those horrific torture scenes.

[there_is_no_spoon]

10. Moonraker.  A rare misstep for the usually brilliantly entertaining James Bond series.

I see a lot of people have suggested this and although it is bad, for my money the Bond film that most needs riffing is A View To A Kill.

It's got an aging Roger Moore AND Christopher Walken, for Jeebus sake!

[Cynical Bastard]

I'm loving these riffs!!!

Here's my list.

1. Star Wars Episode 3-  "Anakin you're breaking my heart!!!"
2. Tango and Cash- The homo erotic adventures of Sly Stallone and Kurt Russel
3. Dirty Dancing- "Nobody puts baby in a corner."
4. Original Planet of the Apes or any of the sequels.  I'd like to see the crew have a serious debate about ape law
5. Adventures in Babysitting.- Elizabeth Shoe as the worst babysitter ever.
6. TimeCop- possibly the worst time travel flick ever, plus I think Van Dam is ripe for riffing.
7. Soylient Green- Cannibalism and a prostitute comes free with every Apartment!!!!!
8. Zardoz- Seriously I watched this on cable a while back and I'm still trying to figure it out.
9. Rain Man- Come on Hoffman's antics and Cruise with typical over the top acting is a riff made in heaven.
10. Young Guns-  Rejected Brat Pack members decide to make a Western.

[rocket9]

I don't think enjoying a movie does precludes it from being riffed on. I like many of the films on my list, including 13th Warrior, but it would still be a fun movie to riff on.

[there_is_no_spoon]

I don't think enjoying a movie does precludes it from being riffed on. I like many of the films on my list, including 13th Warrior, but it would still be a fun movie to riff on.

You have a point.

6. TimeCop- possibly the worst time travel flick ever, plus I think Van Dam is ripe for riffing.
7. Soylient Green- Cannibalism and a prostitute comes free with every Apartment!!!!!
10. Young Guns-  Rejected Brat Pack members decide to make a Western.

Yes! Those would be perfect.

I'm also digging McGruber's entire list.

But honestly, as long as the RiffTrax keep coming, I'm a happy camper.

[Principal_Skin-trade]

1. Star Wars Episode 3-  "Anakin you're breaking my heart!!!"

You know, that is the only line and the only time in any of the prequels when she managed to actually
act. I think that take actually made it into the film by accident, because everyone knows that Lucas
only uses takes where his actors are not acting at all. I think he tried to fix it with ADR but it just didn't
work as Portman refused to record anymore lines.

[Shannihilator]

1 - Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life.
Theres a myriad of tacky Lifetime movies that deserve a good riffing, but this particular film NEEDS it. It's a fantastically bad wake up call to parents about the dangers of clothed pg rated internet porn addictions. Think Reefer Madness, with a woman's touch.

2 - Just One of the Guys
About a moderately attractive girl in high school who wants to become a journalist, but doesn't think anyone takes her seriously, so she chops off her hair, wears her younger brother's clothes and weasels her way into a high school across town as a tough talking teenage male creature. Gratuitous topless shot at the end.

3 - Noone Would Tell
Bad TV movie with Fred Savage and DJ from Full House. Another "warning" film that needs a riff.

4 - Enter the Dragon
I love this movie, but I'd love to see a good riffing of this one.

5 - Mommie Dearest
John Waters refers to this film as "The first comedy about child abuse."

6 - Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon
Bruce Leroy and SHO'NUFF! the Shogun of Harlem. To quote G.O.B., "COME ON!"

7 - Purple Rain and Under the Cherry Moon
This might've been suggested, but I don't care! They're bad enough to deserve em

8 - The Dentist, Ice Cream Man and Dr. Giggles. A triple header!

9 - Three Ninjas 1 through 3

10 - Stepfather III

[Tripe]

6 - Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon
Bruce Leroy and SHO'NUFF! the Shogun of Harlem. To quote G.O.B., "COME ON!"

I'd forgoten about that one: He's got it all

[jetjaguar15]

Well, now that Generations has been announced as the next track, several people (including me) can mark one off our list...

[gbeenie]

2 - Just One of the Guys
About a moderately attractive girl in high school who wants to become a journalist, but doesn't think anyone takes her seriously, so she chops off her hair, wears her younger brother's clothes and weasels her way into a high school across town as a tough talking teenage male creature. Gratuitous topless shot at the end.

Joyce Hyser's breasts are NEVER gratuitous.

[Minnesota]

Lol, that last part reminded me that I've actually seen this movie before.