October Horror Movie a Day 2023: 14th Year! Who Still Even Does This?!?

[WhyDontTheyLook]

10/30: Rifftrax: Amityville Dollhouse (1996) - Of the 'official' sequels to the Amityville Horror, this film is the weakest, with random plot developments and irritating characters screaming half of their lines. Without the riff, it's nigh-intolerable. With the riff... it's a lot better. (Rifftrax.com)

10/31: May (2002) - Part psychological thriller, part character study, part black comedy, this one stays together on the strength of Angela Bettis' performance, taking a character that might otherwise tip into parody and making her at once sympathetic, tragic, and terrifying. (Tubi)

[SJP]

I made it, though it sucks that I didn't space out my reviews...almost fell behind due to work obligations, but I'll try and keep it short, and only talk about the really obscure ones in detail.

Rifftrax: Last Man on Earth
I like the movie, riffing was OK.  My favorite bit was when Vince throws a bomb about three inches away from himself and Kevin shouts, "Eat this, bitches!"

Rifftrax: Robo Vampire
Godfrey Ho loves to staple movies together, doesn't he?  Too bad he went a step too far with this one.  Riffing is great, movie is nonsensical, and ends...well, it ends.  Kind of.  Let's leave it at that.

Wolves
Never heard of this originally, but Jared Padalecki's younger clone finds out (in a rough way) that he's a werewolf, and Jason Momoa (no, really, he's in this) is the evil king of the little fiefdom in the middle of nowhere Padalecki clone takes refuge in.  Not a 'great' movie, but a hell of a lot better than most low-budget werewolf films in that the plot is followable and the special effects are surprisingly decent...even the CG segments, which I didn't expect.  I guess when you assume all werewolf movies made after, say, 2000 are guaranteed to suck unless they are obvious comedies (Wolfcop), it's nice to find something that is decently watchable, even if it's nothing special.

Rifftrax: Silent Rage
This is a Rifftrax that I like the beginning, because the opening rampage is freaking hilarious, but I sort of taper off once it gets into the actual "Frankenstein" murderer plot.  The sped up death by wall slam most of the way through the film is funny as well.

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors
First of two anthologies I watched that star both Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, this one with Cushing as a man who invariably sees the fates of fellow passengers on a train.  Incredibly British, and while you can see the ending coming a mile away, a couple of stories (the killer vines, Donald Sutherland as The Clumsy Vampire Hunter) are enjoyable.  In the end, though, I liked the other anthology better...more on that in a minute.

Strange Invaders
I first saw this movie when I was three, and the images of the aliens heading to the spaceship at the end ripping off their human disguises haunted me for YEARS.  Which is funny, because beyond that (and the orb scene in the bedroom, MY GOD), the movie is not terrifying, just sci-fi homage writ large, with a pre-Robocop Nancy Allen having fun with a post-Rock & Rule Paul Le Mat.

Renfield
The newest movie on my list.  I actually like the idea of Renfield trying to break free from Dracula by joining a co-dependency group, though I think the movie gets a little too snarky for its own good (like Hellboy, it seems like it shot for an R-rating through a lot of swearing that, while it fits the mood, doesn't seem like it should be coming from RENFIELD, of all people).  Also, the CG blood is absolutely horrendous.  Shamefully so for a 2023 movie.  Saying the blood looks like the water monster from The Abyss does disservice to The Abyss, and that movie is damn old compared to this.  Still, worth it for Nicolas Cage actually reigning it in a bit.  Sure, he's still hammy, but he could've been so much hammier.

Nightmare Before Christmas
I don't even need to talk about this.  The blowups in my neighborhood show how beloved this movie is these days.

Absurd
A 'spiritual' sequel to Anthropophagus, in which the same actor plays a similarly unkillable serial murderer, but good grief, does this movie move slowly.  There are literal shots of people taking minutes to cross rooms, and it's not even intended to be suspenseful...and this doesn't even count the ending, in which the killer endlessly gropes for his victims with little success (he's blind by that point, but I won't spoil how or why).  Has its grotesque moments, but not as much as you'd expect from Italo-horror.

Saturn 3
This movie is much more of a "What could have been" than "What it is."  Keitel reportedly dropped off the earth after filming and wouldn't come back for audio inserts, so he's completely redubbed by a British actor.  It also feels like there's a lot more they wanted to explore in the nature of humanity vs. robot programming, but opted instead to go, "Eh, let's just let the robot go nuts."  Probably a lot of heart was sadly lost when the original director left and died shortly afterwards.  Still, I think this movie is hated a lot more than it deserves.  I've seen much worse.

The Caller
The movie tells you right off the bat it has a twist.  The opening few minutes show you this is not a typical movie, and you spend the entire running time trying to figure out what it is.  Chances are, you won't get it, and when it is revealed, you're either going to be supremely pissed off, or you're going to be completely on board with it.  It really would work as a stage play, in many respects, and feels that way.  I enjoyed it, but I recommend it for dialogue and suspense hounds; most will turn it off before the end.

Trail of the Screaming Forehead
I don't think this has been released on disc, unlike the other Blamire productions, and I would say it is the least of them, but saying it is the least isn't like saying it's bad.  It's the same ridiculous stilted dialogue, same homage to the old-style sci-fi/horror films, and same stable of actors that make his other efforts so much fun to watch.  If you've never seen a Larry Blamire...watch Lost Skeleton of Cadavra first.  If you already like him, you'll find a lot to like here.

The Slayer
Another slow-moving 'slasher' film with a dearth of victims (and by that, you know you're in for a ride where a good chunk of the movie has everyone looking for one character by saying his name over and over again), and it really only shows anything truly supernatural at the end of the movie.  Skippable, but it has an intriguing premise, if nothing else.

Rifftrax: The Dark Power
I love this riff dearly, but I have to ask: Who is this movie made for?  Why did anyone think this needed to be made?  Why are the evil risen Toltecs ripping people's faces off and stealing beers?  It just makes no sense at all, but at the same time, it's so stupid it's fun.

Bonehill Road
How do you make a movie about werewolves that is almost not about werewolves?  As a Kickstarter project, of course!  Let me put it this way: the movie is 84 minutes long.  The first ten minutes are a domestic abuse saga, the next twenty (TWENTY!) is sitting around in a broken-down car talking about said domestic abuse and the occasional noise outside the car which is also occasionally investigated (yes, they search for noises more than once), and then the half hour after that has to do with an evil cannibal.  Then werewolves, then weird post-credit scene, then end.  It's an odd soup, poorly acted, poorly scripted, with decent transformation effects, but I have to agree with a reviewer on one point; it is beyond hilarious how a character is shown having a painful, disturbing, and horrifying transformation, and then, at the last minute the transformation effect COMPLETELY CHANGES following a cut and appears much more human/flattering to the actress involved.  It is literally a "Well, I guess she didn't want to be in too much latex, let's make her sexier" moment, and it's so jarring it's laughable.  Linnea Quigley is in it...kinda, for no real reason than for them to say, "Hey, here's a name you might recognize!"  The cannibal gets a few good lines, but overall, this is my pick for worst movie of the month.  Lycan Colony may be technically inept, but at least you can tell it had amateurish passion and they tried to make a movie.  This is technically inept, but made by people who should know better, and it is aggressively distasteful as well.  Still, it is not Dark Moon Rising or Paranormal Asylum, so it can still claim to not be those.

The House That Dripped Blood
Not On Alex.  This is the other anthology movie with Misters Lee and Cushing, probably much better known thanks to the grisly cover artwork with the half-skull-faced woman holding Lee's head on a plate (ironic, because that scene actually kind of happens, but Lee is not in that story).  I tend to agree with some reviews I saw that the first two stories take awhile to get going, but they are still fun, mostly because I just like Denholm Elliott and Peter Cushing, but the final story with then Doctor Who Jon Pertwee is a lot of goofy fun, despite apparently having a lot of comedy removed because the producers didn't want to make it too silly.  Lee's story is also good, but is definitely the biggest downer of the four.

Great Pumpkin/Garfield's Halloween Adventure
Two TV classics, not much needing to be said.  But when it comes to Bonehill Road, if I may quote Sally, "I DEMAND RESTITUTION!"

[Charles Castle]

16. October 24 - Altitude (2010)
https://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,5210.msg1042056.html#msg1042056

[Charles Castle]

17. October 25 - Darkness (2002)
https://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,5210.msg1042058.html#msg1042058

[Charles Castle]

10/30: Rifftrax: Amityville Dollhouse (1996) - Of the 'official' sequels to the Amityville Horror, this film is the weakest, with random plot developments and irritating characters screaming half of their lines. Without the riff, it's nigh-intolerable. With the riff... it's a lot better. (Rifftrax.com)

10/31: May (2002) - Part psychological thriller, part character study, part black comedy, this one stays together on the strength of Angela Bettis' performance, taking a character that might otherwise tip into parody and making her at once sympathetic, tragic, and terrifying. (Tubi)

The only Amityville sequel, or Amityville movie at all, that I have rewatched in years is Amityville: It's About Time. This one really rides that fine line between bad and good to a point where I just throw my hands up and stop trying to analyze which it is. It is clearly batshit insane, compelling, hilarious, and worthy of discussion and analysis every time my wife and I watch it (8 times).

May is absolutely fantastic.

[Charles Castle]

18. October 27 - Suitable Flesh (2023)
https://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,5210.msg1042061.html#msg1042061

Glad to say that I watched this on the first day of release, October 27th, and quite enjoyed it. The baby of this year's October batch.

[Cyrusso]

SJP mentioned Saturn 3, which somehow has one of the worst gore effects of all time at the beginning of the film. Harvey Keitel is in a LOCKER ROOM, and his character Murders a guy in the LOCKER ROOM by opening a door from the LOCKER ROOM, that of course leads directly to outer space. No outer door, no inner door, but PLENTY of safety hazards... because, of course, the FUCKING LOCKER ROOM HAS A DOOR THAT LEADS DIRECTLY OUT INTO FUCKING SPACE, that can easily be opened by any other schmuck sitting in the room!

But that's not the gory part... because of course, since it's so goddamn logical to have a door in the LOCKER ROOM that leads directly out into outer space, there's of course(razor sharp???) safety wires RIGHT OUTSIDE THE AIRLOCK DOOR FROM THE LOCKER ROOM that instantly shatter this poor guy's body into about 30 pieces. I mean... it's definitely gory, and horrific, but the more times you see it, the worse, and therefore, the sillier it looks.

The ending of Saturn 3 somehow makes even LESS sense. Saturn 3 is fascinating, it's scary, but there are things about it that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I will give it this though, it has one of the best damn trailers of all time.

[Charles Castle]

19. October 28 - The Burning (1981)
https://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,5210.msg1042072.html#msg1042072

[Charles Castle]

20. October 30 - Daybreakers (2009)
https://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,5210.msg1042090.html#msg1042090