Now Available - Dangerous Men

[Pak-Man]

Dangerous Men

Feature film · 2021

After her fiancé is murdered, a woman becomes a prostitute and goes on a murder spree. Bald guys punch each other, cars explode, belly buttons get licked, and the use of the ass-knife is pioneered.

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

In the mid-80s, an Iranian architect named Jahangir Salehi Yeganehrad decided he wanted to write, direct, produce, edit, score, and presumably cater and best boy his own movie. First, though, he had to change his name, and he picked a bitchin' one: John S. Rad. We're sad to report that he's better at picking a Hollywood name than any of those other tasks we just listed.

This is the part where we typically tell you what the movie is about, but that hinges on us understanding what the movie is about. As best we can tell, here's what happens: After her fiancé is murdered, a woman becomes a prostitute who goes on a murder spree. At this point, John S. Rad must have realized that this plot was a total rip-off of Paw Patrol: The Movie, so the plot switches gears and tells the story of a cop who infiltrates a biker gang using unconventional techniques such as "also disappearing from the plot with no explanation." Then an old guy fights a guy named Black Pepper. Dangerous Men was shockingly not nominated for a single Oscar.

Along the way, bald guys punch each other, cars explode, belly buttons get licked, and the use of the ass-knife is pioneered. There is absolutely nothing else in the RiffTrax catalog like Dangerous Men, and even after spending all this time with it, we're not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason
Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer

[MrTorso]

Hey Pak! You forgot the best part of the blurb, the "something you should know" section:

Contains scenes of attempted sexual assault, smoking, bloody 80s violence, incessant slap bass, 80s nudity, sexual situations, adult 80s language, and a "butt knife"

They had me at "butt knife" for this one!

[eegah]

I was not prepared for the insanity that is this movie.

[Pak-Man]

I just watched it and it left me with my jaw hanging open.

The plot just kind of wanders around aimlessly. Every time you think the movie's about to have a focal point, the scene changes and the movie throws some new characters at you. The soundtrack is like five songs that play multiple times and they were all wrong for whatever scene was happening. The only time the music matched the scene was when a guy randomly starts singing the words that some woman had written in the sand on the beach, and that was really stupid.

A quick look at Wikipedia tells me that the movie was filmed in 1984, but then the director/producer/writer/music composer/etc. decided to take 21 years to tidy it up, finally releasing it in 2005. That 21 years did not help.

[Trekker4747]

They intersect again.

[dbsommer]

I was not prepared for the insanity that is this movie.

So it makes Robovampire seem coherent? Because that one was literally two movies that had nothing in common jammed together.

[Pak-Man]

I was not prepared for the insanity that is this movie.

So it makes Robovampire seem coherent? Because that one was literally two movies that had nothing in common jammed together.

This was more like the start of 5 different movies, all lacking an act 2 or 3.

[ihavemyreasons]

I loved it only because it moved along at a good pace and I never once knew what was going to happen next (admittedly much of that was because whatever happened next usually had nothing to do with what happened before it). The last act with Stan Lee was especially confusing.

[Anarchemist]

This movie either had no main character or a succession of possibly 3 main characters who just handed the movie off until Indiana Stan Lee took it home.
This one is up on that level of Rifftrax that I love the most--the Godmonster level. The higher the WTF-factor, for me, the more I seem to love it. (Plankton, The Visitor and of course Godmonster of Indian Flats are among those that I love the most with massive WTF-factors)  For me, this is one of their best and funniest!

[John Bradley]

This was the best thing they've done in years!

Yes, Suburban Sasquatch, and yes, Lycan Colony. But I'd already seen all the good bits of both via RLM. This was an entirely fresh experience, and it was awesome.